Disclaimer: I do not own TDI or TDA and probably never will. A lot of boredom was produced in the making of this fanfic.

"Hello, and welcome to Total… Drama… Return! We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, dropping season THREE of the hottest reality show in Canada! All 22 of our original campers are on their way, 8 in the Boat of Losers, and 14 in the Lame-ousine. Let's see how the Boat of Losers is treating Ezekiel, Eva, Noah, Katie, Tyler, Cody, Sadie and Courtney."

(cut to live camera feed on Boat of Losers)

Everyone was enjoying themselves because they knew it was the closest thing to a luxury that they would get for a whole summer.

Confession Cam- We don't know why it's on the Boat of Losers.

Cody- "Yeah! Another season, another chance to showcase my awesome skills for the ladies!"

Ezekiel- "I've got another chance to win some money, eh!"

Eva- "I never agreed to this, Chris! I will get my revenge!"

Noah- "Let's just hope this time around, I can use my brains to get further than before."

Katie- "I don't think everybody knows that Sadie and I have stopped copying each other yet."

Sadie- "I'm like so glad Katie and I stopped copying each other! Eeeeee!"

Courtney- "I should have won the first season! It's all Harold's fault, that four-eyed geek!"

Tyler- "Woohoo! I finally found a sport I'm good at! It's…" (confession cam batteries die)

"Now let's check out the Lame-ousine to see how Justin, Izzy, Beth, Harold, Trent, Bridgette, Lindsay, DJ, Geoff, Leshawna, Duncan, Heather, Gwen, and Owen."

(cut to live camera feed of Lame-ousine)

Everyone was enjoying the hot tub, volleyball court, and regulation basketball court. They also knew that it would be their last luxury for a while.

Confession Cam: Again, no idea.

Justin- …

Izzy- "This is so awesome! Another season! I don't think I like Owen that much anymore because in season one, he pushed me in front of a psycho killer, and in seson two, he pushed me in front of a giant robot dinosaur."

Beth- "This is awesome! I get to see Cody again! He and Leshawna were the only ones who stood up for me in the paintball deer hunt."

Harold- "Awesome! Another season, another chance to win Leshawna over. I just don't like Duncan. Gosh! Idiot!"

Trent- "It's really cool to come back to the island. I think I'm cool with everyone except Heather. I hate her!"

Bridgette and Geoff- (making out)

Lindsay- "This is great! I can see Eric, Ava, Boa, Justin, Brady, Taylor, Lizzy, Nody, Belle, Lady, Couric, Gerald, Bent, Midget, PJ, Jed, Leshawna, Dustin, Heather, Greta, Omar, and Chip again!"

DJ- "This rocks! Maybe I'll see Bunny again."

Leshawna- "Aw, yeah! I'll win this time 'cause I'm all that and a bag of chips!"

Duncan- "Well, at least it gets me out of juvie for a while."

Heather- "This will be considerably harder, because nobody trusts me this time around."

Gwen- "I came in second the first time. I know this game."

Owen- "Woohoo! Another season!!!"

"And there you have it." Chris continued. "Some are happy, some are sad, and some are ticked off at me to no extent. Our campers should arrive any moment now. Wait'll they see our twist. Hehehe."

Just as he said, the campers arrived all at once. "I don't think we need to introduce everyone again, so let's get to the mess hall!"

"Okay everyone, I have a surprise! It's…"

HAHAHAHA! I love cliffhangers. I've got a contest going. First one to review me every name Lindsay screwed up in order with a link to one of your stories gets the surprise that will not be revealed to anyone until the next chapter of TDR, or Total…Drama…Return! The link is crucial because I will review that story telling you that you won, and the surprise of TDR!