Battle Studies

Chapter one: Pefectly Lonely

AN: I feel like I haven't written in an eternity…First semester of collegiate life has been, to say the least, a culture shock. Despite this, I am the happiest I have been in my life, and this story is about my journey thus far. The album is from John Mayer, and it is appropriately titled, "Battle Studies." It's the most amazing work of lyrical genius I have ever heard, and quite surprisingly, it is a reflection of what's in my soul…

In other words, it's my life. 3

Without further adieu, ladies and gents…

Perfectly Lonely

Had a little love, but I spread it thin
Falling in her arms and out again
Made a bad name for my game around town
Tore up my heart, and shut it down

I'd have to have been a fool not to realize that I had been hurt. My life with Xio had been wonderful, and we had grown together just as we believed we would. But there was always something…Just some sort of disconnection that we were both unable to define as well as re-wire. It was as though there was a gap between us that no amount of anything could ever fill.

However, just as there is hurt after the end of anything good, I found all the good I could in myself after the hurt. My Gryffindors, my cubs, were graduating. The trio that I had been closest to in all my years at Hogwarts flourished under my teaching, and in return they had enriched my life in ways I never believed possible. I believe my hurt would have been worse had it not been for my cubs. But with their joys and triumphs as individuals, I became happier, and even found joy in my solace.

Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do
No one but me
And that's all I need

I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

I found even greater joy and enlightenment in sharing my newfound philosophy with my fellow colleagues. I never grew tired of my freedom to do whatever it was I pleased. It may seem selfish, at first glance, but everyone needs focus on their life at some point. In some time, it has to go from "Hello dear, how was your day?" to "Good morning Minerva, you are looking stunning today." It seems strange to say that I felt better about myself than I had in years.

So naturally, whenever anyone would ask about how my life was after having split things off with Xiomara, I would just smile and tell them that I had found someone else…Myself.

I see friends around from time to time
When their ladies let them slip away
And when they ask me how I'm doing with mine
This is always what I say

Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do
No one to be
Is it really hard to see

Why I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

But despite my newfound glory in all that was the beauty of peace, I realized that peace meant nothing if not for having come after turbulence. For the first time since Xiomara and I had ended, I truly missed waking up with someone beside me. But that was just the thing…I didn't really miss Xiomara. I missed someone.

And this is not to say
There never comes a day
I'll take my chances and start again
And when I look behind
On all my younger times
I have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong

Companionship makes life all the merrier, but just as peace is meaningless without some sort of terror, one cannot truly appreciate companionship without being alone. The only thing I could do, the only thing I wanted to do, was be happy.

I smiled.

It was perfect.

I am perfectly lonely.

I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me


That's the way, That's the way, That's the way that I want it.

AN: Dedicated to my beautiful fiancé…Without you words would mean nothing. I love you.