Rage of the Kenpachi
In District 5 of the Rukongai, there is a tavern. It's not high class. It doesn't have a wide range of alcohol. Its not even in the centre of town. But none of these things make it a special tavern. What makes it special, is the fact that it is the only tavern in Soul Society that willing lets the entire upper ranks of Squad 11 drink there.
Not long after Ichigo Kurasaki had infiltrated the Seritei, Ikkaku, Yumichika and Renji invited said Ryoka to the tavern for a drink or six. It was busy, the Tavern full of many current and past members of Squad 11.
The four men were seated around a table in the middle of the pub, all on their second round, when Ichigo asked a question that had been sitting in his mind.
"Hey Ikkaku."
"What, Ichigo?"
"Your Captain, Kenpachi Zaraki. Who is he? I mean how did he become captain of the division without a shikai?"
"The Captain? He killed the previous Captain. It's the law of the Kenpachi, the Strongest Blade of Soul Society. You have to kill the previous Kenpachi to become the new Kenpachi."
"Hm. That actually makes sense."
"I know. Surprising isn't it. But you want to know about the Captain?" Here, Ikkaku stood and banged his mug on the counter. The entire tavern quieted, all eyes on the bald 3rd seat.
"Our new friend, Ichigo, wants to know about the Captain!'
The assembled Soul Reapers roared in response.
"Well, then, lets tell 'em!"
The Tavern shook with the responding roar.
Yumichika took out a fiddle of all things and started playing a jaunty tune. The hooligans around them started banging their mugs on the counters in tune.
Ikkaku took a deep breath, and started singing,
"In Soul Society, there lives a man
A rusted sword in his right hand
And rage consumes his every living day.
As one against the entire world
His sword of deadly wrath he held
Slashing all the bastards in his way!"
Renji piped up,
"He fights to die,
He lives to kill"
A random member from the bar shouted,
"To cut your throat
His greatest skill"
Surprisingly, Hanatoro added the next bit,
"He'll eat your kids
And punch your house"
Kukaku Shiba sounded of the next line,
"And set fire to your cat!"
The room resonated with the chorus, drowning out Yumickia's fiddle.
"So, we'll raise our blades up to the sky
And drink to absent friends
Those far away and those who died
Still fighting to the end
Have no fear for life is short
And Death still holds us all
So, when that Bastard comes for us
We'll meet him standing tall!"
The Barman belted out the next line,
"Die for the Rage of the Kenpachi!"
Ikkaku took up the song once more,
"Many Legends have been told
Of evil men from days of old
But none of them compare to what he's done
Sadistic psycho through and through
There's nothing nasty he won't do
One time he shot a baby- with a gun!"
"He'll break your neck"
"And eat your face"
"The foe of all the Hollow race"
"He'll stab your mum"
"And drink your rum"
"This bastard can't be killed!"
Each line called out by a different person around the room, before Ikkaku took up the final verse,
"So, we'll raise our swords up to the sky
And drink to absent friends
Those far away and those who died
Still fighting to the end
Have no fear for life is short
And Death still holds us all
So, when that Bastard comes for us
We'll meet him standing tall"
The climax of the song was met by the door crashing open. The man in question filled the doorway, gazing over the room. The entire tavern was dead quiet, and Yumichika's fiddle had mysteriously disappeared.
Ichigo wondered if he could flashstep away while drunk.
Zaraki looked directly at his 3rd seat, "You know that's Bullshit, Ikkaku?"
Ikkaku swallowed audibly, "er, Yes Captain!"
The Kenpachi smirked, "I would never shoot a baby. It can't fight back!"
I have no regrets in writing this.
I do not own Bleach, or Rage of the Pentahook.
If you like Pirate Metal, give Alestorm a listen. If you already listen to them, give Gloryhammer a listen. If you already know glory hammer,
"HAIL TO HOOTS!"