A/N: Okay, I have NO clue where this idea came from, and I realize I probably should be writing/posting on Let me love you. But my beta has been busy, and I used my other editor/beta for this one.

Thanks to Lissa31 for betaing this even after I semi-insulted her. oops. I'm glad she loves me.

This is rated M for a very tiny small part of smut. Very small. I basically only rated it M to be safe.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.

It was late; normally Blaine would have called me by now to let me know how his concert was going so I would know what time he would be home. I sat on the couch, staring at the phone. Wishing the phone would just ring. Next to me, the baby monitor cracks as Joseph rolls over in his crib. I get up, heading into the nursery to stare at our beautiful baby boy. I smile, just as the phone rings in the other room.

"Blaine?" I answer.

"Mr. Hummel-Anderson?" the voice asks.

"Yes, this is him. Is this urgent? I'm expecting a call from…"

"We know. There has been an accident."

"What?" I ask, staring at my reflection in the hallway mirror. "Blaine? He's…he's okay though….right?" There's only silence on the other end of the phone. "Please tell me my husband is okay," I whisper.

"I'm sorry, but he died instantly," the voice says. "There was a crazed fan, he was shot through the heart before anyone could stop him," he says but I barely hear it as I began to cry hard. "We need you to come down to the hospital to identify the body."

"I… okay." I take a deep breath. "I'll be there soon," I say, hanging up and then dialing Rachael's number.

"Hi Kurt!"

"Rachael, I need you to come over," I say quickly.

"Are you okay?"

"No… I…oh God Rachael, Blaine's dead. I…I need to go to the hospital to…please just come here," I whisper.

"I'll be there soon," she promises, hanging up. I stare at the mirror, I'm so pale. I try to think of life what life will be like without Blaine. Tears well up in my eyes, as I run to the bathroom to throw up, I hear the door open shortly after and then Rachael is by my side. She wraps her arms around me as I throw up everything in my stomach. Once there is nothing left in my stomach, I flush the toilet, and stand. Rachael hugs me tightly.

"I have to go…" I mutter. She nods as we head into the living room. She hugs me once last time before I head out the door and to my car. I can't even remember driving to the hospital but suddenly I'm there and I'm running inside.

"Can I help you?" the nurse behind the desk asks.

"I was told to come down here…I…I…." I can't finish my sentence as I'm overcome with tears. The nurse stands, walking from behind the desk to take me into her arms in a hug. After awhile I calm down enough to finish a full sentence. "I'm here to identify the body of my husband," I whisper. She nods, letting me go and walking behind the desk, picking up the phone. A few minutes later a guy in a suit approaches me.

"Kurt Hummel-Anderson?" The man asks, and I just nod. He motions for me to follow him and together we walk down the hall. He opens a door, letting me walk in front of him. It's the morgue. A body covered by a white sheet lies on a metal slab. I run to the first thing I see and dry heave, I wipe my mouth wishing I could throw up. I walk back over to the metal slab waiting for the man to lift the sheet up. Maybe it's not him. Maybe they made a terrible mistake and then I'll go home and Blaine will be there holding our son. And everything will be okay. He lifts the sheet, and I tumble to the floor. It's him. I just sit on the floor bawling until there's nothing left. The man stands there awkwardly waiting for me to stop, to confirm in words that the beautiful man lying on the cold metal is indeed my husband. I stand, clutching the side.

"It's him." I can barely force the words to leave my lips afraid that when I finally say it, it will make it all too real. "Can I…Can I have a minute alone please?" I ask, my voice shaking. The man just nods and leaves the room. I reach forward, caressing Blaine's face. What I wouldn't give to see him open his eyes and smile at me. "Oh Blaine," I cry, kissing his cold lips. "I love you," I whisper, covering him back up and walking out of the room. The man straightens up when I walk out, handing me some papers.

"You'll need to fill theses out. Also you'll need to start making the funeral arrangements as soon as possible," he says, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," I mutter. He starts to walk away. "Wait," I say.

"Yes?"

"The fan, did…did you guys find the person who killed him?"

"We did but she's refusing to talk. Someone will contact you once they have the trial set." I nod, walking away and to my car. I rest my head on the steering wheel and cry.

"Babe," Blaine whispers as we kiss. "You're so perfect," he groans, as we move with each other.

"Blaine," I whisper, kissing him hard.

"What baby? What do you need?"

"Please…Blaine touch me," I groan. He smiles, his hand coming to rest on my hard cock, slowly moving his hand up and down. "Ohhh Blaine," I moan. "I'm so…ohhh,"

"I know, babe, I know," he whispers kissing me. And just when I'm about to come, Joseph's cries come from the baby monitor next to us. Blaine stops his hand, sighing and getting up. "Sorry baby," he says, kissing me. I fall back on my pillow groaning. After a second I get up, put on some sweatpants and follow Blaine into Joseph's room. Blaine is holding Joseph softly singing a lullaby. I smile, reaching over to grab the camera we keep in there and quickly snap a picture. I walk over to him, wrapping my arms around him.

"I love you," I whisper, kissing his neck.

"I love you too," he whispers right back. We both stand there, staring in wonder at this beautiful child. He's a month old and still I cannot get over how wonderful and perfect he is. How perfect and wonderful my life is.

I sit up, wiping away my tears. Had that really only been this morning? How had everything ended so badly? I drive home slowly; when I open the door Rachael hugs me hard.

"Finn and I can take Joseph tonight," she whispers. I barely nod. She leads me into mine and Blaine's bedroom, tucking me in.

"Rachael…"

"Shhh just sleep, Kurt."

"What am I supposed to do without Blaine?" She smiles at me sadly.

"You live," she whispers, shutting the door. Somehow I manage to fall asleep.

There's a light knock at the door and I smile opening it slightly.

"Blaine!" I gasp. "What are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you," he whispers, trying to get in the door.

"It's bad luck to see each other before getting married," I say glaring at him. "You'll see me soon, I promise." I lean into him, kissing him lightly. "I love you," I whisper.

"I love you too," he says smiling. "In less than an hour you'll be my husband," he says, kissing me again.

"Forever," I promise. "Now go, silly!" He shakes his head at me before turning away and allowing me to shut the door. In less than an hour I would be his husband. There is another knock at my door; I open it, smiling at my dad.

"Kurt," he says, hugging me hard. "Are you ready?" I nod, taking my dad's hand. I'm getting married.

I reach out for Blaine as I come awake, only to realize that he would never be next to me again. He was gone forever. On my nightstand my phone buzzes loudly.

"Kurt," Burt says. "Finn called me; I just wanted to let you know that Carole and I are both here for you."

"Thanks dad," I mutter. I hear someone knock on the door. "I've got to go dad, someone is at the door." I hang up and get up to answer the door.

"Hey," Rachael says, coming in. "We need to start on the funeral arrangements for Blaine," she says, softly.

"Rachael…"

"I know, Kurt. I know. But it has to be done," she says, taking my hand and leading me to the kitchen. "Did you and Blaine have a plot picked out?"

"What…? No. Rachael… Blaine and I never talked about what would happen if one of us died. I don't…I have no clue what to do," I whisper. Rachael gets up, hugging me tightly.

"We'll figure it out," she says.

"I don't know what to do, Rachael," I say again, starting to cry again. I put my head down, not bothering to look up when I hear her moving around my kitchen. A little while later she puts something down in front of me and I lift my head.

"Eat," she says softly. I nod. I'm not really hungry, but I know she's right. She pulls out a stack of papers from her bag. "I stopped by a funeral home on the way here to get some information," she says placing them in front of me.

"I can't….Rachael, I can't do this right now," I say running into the bathroom, throwing up everything I had just eaten. I rest my head on the toilet, crying. Rachael joins me in the bathroom, sitting on the bathtub.

"Do you want me and Finn to do this?"

"Yes…no…I… I don't know Rachael. I… I just want him here," I cry. "I just want to wake up and realize this was all just a terrible nightmare. I…I just want him to wrap his arms around me again…and…" I stop, crying harder. "I even want to fight with him again. I can't do this Rachael. I can't live without him."

"You can," she says, rubbing my back slowly. "I know it seems like you can't right now, but you'll see, you can do it. You have to. For Joseph," she says, getting up. "Come on," she pulls me up off the floor and walks me back into the bedroom. "Sleep, I'll fill out some paperwork for the funeral, but I won't do anything without your permission." I nod, climbing into bed. She leaves the room and I just stare up at the ceiling. The whole room smells of Blaine. I roll over, lying on Blaine's side of the bed, inhaling his scent. It's too much for me and I began to cry all over again. I lie there, crying until I fall asleep.

"I want a baby," Blaine says, kissing my neck.

"Uh…Blaine, I think we have the wrong parts to make that possible," I say jokingly. He hits me softly.

"You know what I mean," he basically whines. "We've been married for a whole year!" I just laugh at him, cuddling closer.

"I want a kid too babe, I was just joking with you." I kiss him hard, groaning when he thrusts up.

"Can we go tomorrow to find a surrogate?"

"We don't need to," I say, smiling. I laugh at Blaine's confused expression. "Rachael has already agreed to be our surrogate."

"When did you talk to her?"

"Last month," I say smirking. "In fact, we already have an appointment set up for next week."

"You're the best!" He says, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. "I love you, so much."

"And I love you just as much," I say, kissing him.

"Kurt," Rachael whispers, waking me up from my dream. "Someone wants to see you," she says, as Finn opens the door holding my son. Once more I began to cry.

"Please…I can't….I just…" I say, looking away. "He looks too much like Blaine, I just….I can't do it. Please," I whisper, ashamed. I hear the door shut and the bed sink beneath Rachael's weight.

"It will get better," she says, lying down and pulling me into a hug.

"I…I can't even look at him Rachael. I can't even stand to look at my own son."

"It will get better," she repeats. "I promise." I nod, burying my head into her shoulder.

"I just wish that this was all a nightmare."

"I know," she says, hugging me hard. She gets up, kissing my forehead. "Come into the living room when you're ready," she says leaving the room. I wonder if she'll accept 'never' as an answer. In the next room I hear Joseph cry, and unable to stop myself, I get up, open the door and walk to where Finn is holding my son.

"Finn," I say, holding out my hands for the crying baby. He smiles at me placing Joey in my hands. I look at him, my beautiful baby boy, his big hazel eyes staring up at me. "Shh," I whisper, rocking him in my arms. He stops crying almost instantly. "Beautiful baby boy," I whisper, walking into the kitchen to make him a bottle. I start to feed him, trying not to focus on how much he looks like Blaine already. He has the same eyes and dark curly hair. Joey blinks up at me as he drinks his bottle, slowly beginning to fall asleep in my arms. Then he's asleep and I hold him closer, unwilling to let him from my arms. This is the last piece of Blaine I will ever have.

I realize this is REALLY sad. I cried pretty much the entire time I was writing it. I have a lot more ideas for this, but for now I'm marking it complete and just as a one-shot. If you guys want I can write more and make this into a longer fanfiction. But it's up to you guys :)