Relationship: Ganondorf/Nabooru
Rating: T.
Disclaimer: The only thing I own out of this is my thought process and characters that I may have made out of a whim. Everything else belongs to their original creators.
Summary: Ganondorf wants the one thing he can't have. Crackfic.
Dedicated to Mutinous.
A Lost Cause.
The sun was shining brightly, as it always is on Hyrule Field, and little white birdies dotted the sky, flying in between the huge puffy clouds that are also there all the time.
Ganondorf, looking quite out of place in this peaceful landscape, cantered his obsidian black stallion over the lush, green field in the direction of his home land, Gerudo Valley and the one woman he always dreamt he would wed, the most beautiful and powerful of all the Gerudo women, the Sage of Spirit, Nabooru.
Of course, upon his arrival in the valley, in an attempt to catch the attention of the ladies, and full of self importance, he decided it would be a FABULOUS idea to make his horse rear up, so the gerudo women could see his buffed up physique and incredible good looks and quite promptly fell off his horse into the dust, utterly humiliated and now completely dirty and messed up.
Taking his horse by the reins and slinking back to his inherited, now abandoned house in the valley, with his tail between his legs, Ganondorf contemplated a new plan to attract the ladies, and more importantly, make Nabooru herself fall in love with him, and his muddied, sandy, yet devilishly good looks.
Sitting cross legged with a small hand-held mirror in his lap, Ganondorf stroked his beard in a thoughtful manner, before then turning to his wardrobe to dig for the tightest pair of pants he could find, a comb and some hair gel. Once these items were aquired, he locked himself into the bathroom of his house and got to work, spending hours sucking his gut in and holding his breath in order to squeeze himself into the teeniest pair of pants he owned, pulling on a random shirt which happened to have the Indi Go Go's on it, and chucking his usual chunky, boots onto his feet.
Outfit completed, he turned to the mirror in order to comb his lucious, period-blood red hair into something that resembled a mohawk, falling over onto its side, and gelled it in place.
Upon makeover completion, Ganondorf checked himself out in the mirror, wolf whistled and strutted out of the house into the glaring sun of the valley, through the gates and into the vast sandy desert, on his merry way to visit Nabooru in her temple, whistling a tune as he went.
Nabooru, having heard him coming a mile away, locked and barred all the windows and doors that she could find, excepting the rather large one on the top floor, that overlooked the main doorway. She had splendid plans for that window, yes indeed. Knowing she had several minutes before Ganondorf would arrive and pledge his undying love for her, she pushed a grand piano up to the window ledge and left it there, waiting patiently.
Thus when Ganondorf arrived and the temple looked boarded up and abandoned, he feared for the worst, clambering up the high stairs to the front entrance and pounding on the door, screaming her name in vain.
Nabooru, of course, heard all the ruckus and moved back to her vantage point at the window overlooking the entrance. Upon seeing his magnificant make-over and fashion statement, and gagging for a few minutes, she took it as her signal to push the piano out of the window, to land SPLAT! right on top of Ganondorf.
Ganondorf, taking the hint, dragged his sad, sorry ass out from underneath the now destroyed grand piano and headed home, it was time for plan B.
A/N: This is a crackfic, it is not intended to be absolutely correct in details or completely in character. Please R&R.