Disclaimer: Supernatural and it's affiliates do not belong to me.
This is basically just a humourous, rambling one-shot that came to me after watching The Third Man (which was a fantastic episode, by the way. I mean, you're always going to get bonus points if you reference Abbott and Costello's Who's on First :D Not to mention the undeniable slashy comments... ). Anyway, I know this is rather OOC and totally random, but I had much fun writing it, so I hope you enjoy! :)
Profound Bond
"We share a more profound bond?" Dean said, sceptically raising an eyebrow at Castiel. Sam had left a few moments ago for food and only now that the two were alone did Dean raise the topic again.
"Well," the angel shrugged. "You do still bare my touch from when I raised you."
Dean opened his mouth to reply, but then frowned and shook his head somewhat disbelievingly. "Wow, Cas. Way to make it sound dirty."
"I don't follow."
And Dean rolled his eyes. "Nothing man."
"Okay?"
Castiel's confusion was ignored as Dean stepped towards him and clasped him on the shoulder. "Look, whatever you wanna call this, I think you better find something... else. Profound bond makes it sounds like we're together. Like Kirk and Spock or something. I mean, everyone knew they were getting it on."
"I don't understand that reference," Castiel said, tilting his head.
Dean sighed. "Course you don't." He paused, continuing when the angel didn't answer. "Just no more 'we share a more profound bond', okay?"
"But, Dean," and Castiel frowned deeper in confusion. "We do share a more profound bond. How else would you have me describe it?"
The hunter groaned in frustration, gripping Castiel's shoulder tighter as he struggled to give an answer. "Listen, it's a very simple distinction. A profound bond would be..."
He trailed off as an idea came to him. It was a completely ridiculous, bordering on insane idea which Dean was sure would haunt him until the end of his life. In fact, in the years to come, he never would fully work out how and why the idea had come to him in the first place. Yet, at the moment, it was the most obvious solution. Castiel continued to gaze in confusion at him and Dean swallowed. There was no reference in the world that Castiel would understand. He'd have to do it. There was no other way.
"It would be like this," Dean said, turning to face Castiel fully.
And without a hint of hesitation and with surprising strength, Dean pushed Castiel backwards into the wall and pressed their lips together. Automatically, it seemed, Dean brought his hand up to run through the angel's hair. Then, suddenly he seemed to lose all perception and moaningly, he deepened the kiss.
For the first few seconds, Castiel remained ram-rod straight. But then, he relaxed and brought his hands to a comfortable rest on Dean's hips. Wary though he was of Dean's actions, he still found himself (or, at least, the human vessel part of himself) enjoying it.
Nearly two minutes later, they parted, breathless. And for a moment they only had eyes for each other; green gazing into blue. Still panting slightly Dean stepped backwards, though his eyes did not leave Castiel's face. For a moment the angel looked shocked and confused and Dean knew the emotions were mimicked on his own face. He had kissed Castiel. Physically kissed him. It sounded so wrong, thinking it through and yet, it had felt... right.
But the moment was brief. And when Dean next blinked, Castiel's face had returned to it's usual impassiveness.
"Huh." There was a sudden noncommittal noise to their left and, startled, Dean leapt even further back before spinning to face the door. All previous thoughts left his mind in a heartbeat.
Sam stood there, holding two packages. The look on his face instantly told that he'd seen everything.
"'More profound bond'. You know, I think I'm seeing that now." Sam grinned (rather evilly, in Dean's opinion). "You two want me to head out again?"
"No." Dean and Castiel replied in unison, the former blushing uncharacteristically. Castiel looked his usual self, save for the ruffled hair and dishevelled clothing.
Sam, hardly able to stop smirking, nodded. Dragging the word out, almost accusingly he said, "sure."
"Sam, hey," Dean stepped towards him. "Listen dude, you uh... you totally came in at the wrong time. That..." he gave a false laugh. "That wasn't what you think."
"Yeah, sure man,' Sam said, quite obviously not convinced. He placed the food packages down on the table. "'Cause I'm sure there's heaps of logical and important reasons for kissing angels."
"Exactly. I was trying to teach him something."
"Oh, 'teach' him something," Sam grinned, using air quotes.
Dean sighed in annoyance and turned to Castiel. "A little help here?"
"Not too much 'help' though," Sam added, air quoting once more. Dean shot him a glare.
"Dean's telling the truth, Sam," Castiel said, the perfect picture of innocence. "He was merely showing what it is like to share a profound bond with someone."
"I see," Sam said slowly. "So you... do have a profound bond."
"What, no!" Dean said, indignantly. "We do have something but it's not a profound bond."
"Like a... relationship?"
"No! Well, yes... we have a relationship, but not that kind! We're friends!" Dean said, before turning to Castiel again. "You know, that didn't really help, Cas."
"My apologies. But that was what we were doing. You were showing me what it is like to have a more profound bond."
"He seems pretty sure of himself there, Dean," Sam said, cutting in before Dean could argue back. "You, him, profound bond. You probably don't want to argue."
Dean glared, mentally kicking himself for kissing Castiel in the first place. Why had he thought that would clear everything up? Friggin angels and their not understanding! This was so not what he needed right now. His brother convinced he was in a relationship with an angel. Like he could talk! And Castiel just continuing to be his completely oblivious self. He shook his head, annoyed with both himself and the other two men in the room.
"Should I go?" Castiel asked the heavily tense and suddenly silent room at large.
"Since when do you ask?"
"I thought it would be polite," Castiel said simply. Then as no one answered him, he straightened his coat. "I will be in touch."
Sam sniggered and Dean turned and pointed a threatening finger at him. "Don't you dare say anything!" he warned. The taller man raised his hands in surrender.
"Wasn't going to."
There was a sudden rush of air and the distant flutter of wings. Castiel had left. "Well ain't that just great," Dean muttered sourly. He hadn't planned on Castiel leaving before he had the chance to explain it. Already he dreaded their next meeting. Dreading it and marking it under 'Awkward'.
"So you want dinner?" Sam asked way too casually.
Dean narrowed his eyes. "What? That's it? No more jokes?"
Sam cracked a grin. "Oh I've been preparing jokes ever since I met Cas. I knew it was only a matter of time before you two got together."
"We're not together!" Dean growled, causing Sam to chuckle.
"Yeah, I heard you the first time. Wait when was that again? Oh yeah, just after you stopped kissing Cas."
Dean could do nothing except glare in increasing fury. And not for the first time he mentally cursed and kicked himself. Friggin angels! And friggin profound bonds! Putting stupid ideas into his head. He groaned and sat down heavily. He was never going to be allowed to forget this. Ever. It really couldn't get any worse.
It wasn't until later that Dean realised it could get worse - Sam had managed to take pictures on his cell.