Disclaimer: ST: VOY is not mine.

Author's Note: For Lita's birthday. Here's hoping I do your complex plot bunny justice. Let's also hope I finish this before you turn twenty-three. :p

Acknowledgment: Thanks for the quick beta, polomare. Let's 'hoep' this goes well. xD

Understated Difficulties
by mistress amethyst une

Chapter 1

Kathryn Janeway had lost count of how many times she'd cried in her head. No, she wasn't going to allow anyone the luxury of seeing her miserable. She intended to dissolve into a puddle of tears only in her mind. She refused to weep, even in the privacy of her own quarters, even as she lay alone in her bed. Chakotay wasn't worth the salty cascade that would make her rub her eyes, turning them red. He wasn't worth the sniffling. He wasn't worth the indignity of having a ruddy, dripping nose. He wasn't worth any of it.

No, he was worth much more...

He was worth sleepless nights that turned her eyes bloodshot. He was worth the constant trips to Sickbay due to intensifying headaches. He was worth all the pain she felt when she saw that fondness, that same fondness he'd previously reserved only for her, in the smiles and looks he gave Seven. That's what he was worth.

She felt horrible. She was going to turn into that bitter old woman who'd died in the attempt to get them home. Yes, attempt. The Borg transwarp hub was a tricky piece of technology. The Queen had somehow manipulated it before breathing her last. She was, after all, the heart of everything Borg. When she expired, so did the hub. It just ceased to function, leaving Voyager still adrift in the Delta Quadrant. Well, they were a few thousand light years closer to home, they'd dealt a crippling blow to the Borg, and it saved them the trouble of having to destroy the damn thing but...

Janeway sighed as she took her seat on the bridge.

"Something troubling you?" asked Chakotay.

"Yes," she wanted to say. "You!"

"Nothing," she replied. "Just another headache."

"You should go to Sickbay." His concern was apparent in his voice. "It's going to be a pretty dull shift anyway..."

"Thanks to me," she thought. "Dull because we won't be getting home any time soon."

"I'm perfectly all right, Mister Chakotay."

Well, that shut him up. She sat back, didn't give him the benefit of her gaze for the rest of the shift. Lately, all their time together was spent like this. He constantly tried to speak to her, and she would quickly shoot him down with icy formality. He'd considered asking Seven to put off a few dates. He needed to spend leisure time with his captain, find out what was wrong. Kathryn was his dearest friend. Taking so many risks and failing to get them home yet again must have hit her really hard. He couldn't stand by and do nothing as she fell apart.

The shift ended, and he immediately made his way to Astrometrics. As the doors opened to admit him, he saw Seven turning from her console. She greeted him with a warm smile. He grinned back. He could scarcely believe how intent he'd been on tossing her out an airlock three years ago. Actually, there were still times he wanted to toss her out an airlock. That was a good sign. He liked his women frustrating.

"How was your shift?" she asked.

"The usual."

"The captain is still being difficult, I assume."

"She's always been difficult. That's why I like her."

He watched her silver eyebrow rise.

"It's also why I like you," he added. "Her current disposition is a step up from difficult."

"Is it? Still no idea as to what's caused this sudden change in her?"

"No. Actually, that's why I'm here."

"You think she knows of our relationship?"

"Not exactly. But I do need to discuss something about that."

She smiled. "Are we going to skip ahead again?"

"Something like that."

"You are tugging on your ear," she said, her tone giving away a hint of annoyance. "What are you really trying to say, Commander?"

He sighed. Today was a lovely day, wasn't it? First, his best friend called him 'mister,' then his girlfriend decided to address him by rank.

"I think we should put off a few dates," he said. "It has nothing to do with our relationship. I just need to spend some time with the captain. I'm worried."

If she was disappointed, she hid it well. She only nodded.

"I agree. She needs you. Is there anything else you wish to discuss?"

All right, she was peeved. He left a kiss on her cheek.

"We're still on for dinner tonight," he reassured her. "I'll-"

The tender moment was interrupted by Kathryn's announcement over the comm system.

"Senior officers report to the bridge."

"She has impeccable timing," he thought to himself. "Her future self comes along just as I'm enjoying one of the best dates of my life and now..."

He'd considered turning off the comm system during his dates with Seven, thereby avoiding interruption. He'd never gotten around to it. He'd convinced himself that he forgot because Seven drew his attention so well. Then again, he couldn't shake the feeling that he didn't turn it off because he just couldn't allow Kathryn to lose her means of contacting him, that he wouldn't be able to stand it if he wasn't there when she needed him.

He offered Seven his arm. She seemed confused, but quickly realized what he meant by the gesture. She smiled as she slid his arm in his, and they walked to the turbolift. He refused to admit that it felt odd to have a woman other than Kathryn on his arm.

He and Seven quickly separated as the turbolift doors opened. They couldn't let Kathryn know, not just yet...

Hopefully, my C/7 doesn't make you sick. Anyway, that's my start. :)