It had been four years. It had been four years of marriage, eight years of promising to be together forever. They were so excited about getting married. Everything was perfect. New York City was beautiful on the Saturday afternoon in the summer that Kurt Hummel became Blaine Anderson's husband. Everything was beautiful. No fights, no arguments, no disagreements. They were beautiful. Life was beautiful. They ate dinner together every night, and they were always there for each other to kiss the cuts from the paper of their scrapbooks.
Kurt doesn't remember the Friday night karaoke; he doesn't remember the late night constellation searching. He doesn't remember tickling Blaine the one night that Blaine pouted because he didn't do the dishes right. He doesn't remember kissing Blaine into the mattress; he doesn't remember the glasses of wine that they had at their monthly fancy dinners. He doesn't remember anything anymore; not since he and Blaine have started fighting. Blaine, however… he remembers everything.
"Kurt, can we talk?" Blaine asked, one Tuesday afternoon after Kurt got home from work at rehearsal. Kurt had accepted the role of Prentiss in Peter and the Starcatcher. He was currently working from 5am-5pm every night now. He wasn't in the show yet, so his rehearsal times were all early enough to where he could be gone before the cast got there.
"Um, you know, I'm actually going to eat with some friends from work. We can talk afterwards, though." Kurt rushed as he quickly rustled through his closet to find something nicer to wear to dinner instead of sweatpants.
"Oh.. okay… how long will you be out?" Blaine asked tentatively.
"Why does it matter?" Kurt snapped.
"I just thought that you would maybe wanna go get some ice cream or something afterwards, that's all." Blaine said, his voice sounding smaller than he intended.
Kurt rolled his eyes.
"What?" Blaine asked.
"I cannot eat ice cream, Blaine. I'm supposed to be a starving orphan boy, not a fat slob." Kurt practically yelled.
"Oh… well, I'm sorry." Blaine said.
"You're always sorry. Sorry doesn't work anymore." Kurt said, walking out the door.
Blaine resigned himself to the bed. It was only 5:39 at night, but he was exhausted. He was mentally and emotionally drained. For two and a half years, he had been trying to make Kurt be happy. He had tried to buy him flowers, but Kurt was too busy saying that they made him break out to appreciate the note in the middle that said "I still love you no matter what." Kurt just threw them away. Kurt started exercising more, going on more runs. He and Blaine hardly saw each other anymore. Blaine always laid in bed when Kurt wasn't there, because that was the only time that the bed was welcome to him. At night, Kurt would make Blaine sleep on the couch because Blaine was snoring slightly. They weren't doing okay.
Blaine woke up in the bed at 2am to the feeling of his phone vibrating under his pillow. On his screen, a picture of himself and Kurt had popped up and the top of the screen read "Kurt 3". Blaine lazily brought the phone up to his ear.
"Hello?" He answered.
"Blaine? Are you asleep?" Kurt asked.
"I was, but I'm not anymore." Blaine answered, his voice husky. "Where are you?"
"I'm… I'm at Juliette's house. You know, the girl who plays Molly in the show?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah, I know her. What did you guys do? It's 2 in the morning, Jesus Christ." Blaine squinted his eyes as he looked at the clock on his phone.
"Well we went to dinner, then we went to a movie, then we all came back here to her place. Anyways, that's not important. I need you to come pick me up. Juliette is drunk so she can't bring me home. I know I should've driven, but I didn't. So I need you to pick me up, please. You know where she lives." Kurt said.
"Okay… I'll be there in a few minutes." Blaine replied, and Kurt hung up.
Blaine stood up out of the bed, put on shoes, and grabbed the car keys. He walked out of their house, down the steps of the front porch, and got into his car. He put the key in the ignition and started driving. He drove in the comforting gentleness of his own hums. He arrived at Juliette's house thirty minutes later, to see Kurt sitting outside waiting.
Kurt stood up, walked over to the car, and stepped in.
"What took you so long?" Kurt asked.
"It didn't take me long. I got up and left as soon as I got off of the phone with you." Blaine replied, and Kurt scoffed.
"Whatever."
Blaine started driving.
"Kurt, can I talk to you about that thing from earlier now?" Blaine asked.
"Sure." Kurt replied shortly.
"What happened to us? We were beautiful… we were unbeatable. We were everything for each other. Then we just… stopped. What happened?" Blaine asked, glancing at Kurt every few words.
"Why do you always feel the need to read into things?" Kurt bit out.
"I'm not reading into—" Blaine started.
"Yes, you are. You always do this, and I'm sick of it! I'm sick of everything, Blaine. I'm sick of life, I'm sick of work, I'm sick of everything." Kurt snapped.
"Kurt, I'm not trying to stress you out, it's just… I miss you, and I wish you were at home more, because—"
"Oh god, here we go again. Here we go, here's your little sob story." Kurt rolled his eyes.
"You know, Kurt, I'm really trying really hard. You're not trying to make this work at all. I've been trying for the past two and a half years, only for you to stomp all over it. I just wish that you would realize that you're hurting me!" Blaine started yelling, tears welling in his eyes. Kurt bit his lip as tears flooded to his eyes, as well.
"You know, Blaine, you're selfish! You don't even care that I'm successful in my role on Broadway. I'm making income for us, so we can live." Kurt argued.
"Oh, yeah? Why don't you ever spend time with me after your rehearsals, then? You're in shape, you have great friends… oh, wait. Who was at that party tonight, Kurt? Was Stephen there? That real hot guy that you were talking on the phone to Rachel about on Tuesday? Was he there?" Blaine retorted.
"Jesus, Blaine! I don't like Stephen!" Kurt yelled.
"Well it sure does seem like it, Kurt! You're more affectionate in your words about him than you've been with me in two years!" Blaine yelled back.
"Well maybe I am nice about him because I can actually stand him breathing." Kurt said sharply.
Kurt started wriggling his hands, and Blaine looked out of the corner of his eye. Kurt rolled down the window, and threw something out. There was a very quiet clanking noise on the road.
"What was that!?" Blaine asked, and looked down to see Kurt's ring finger was bare. "Was that your wedding ring!? Kurt!?"
"I'm done with you." Kurt said, tears in his eyes and his nose snarled.
The rest of the drive home was in silence and the sound of muffled tears. When they got home, Kurt went to bed and Blaine slept on the couch. There were no more words said between the two.
The next morning, Blaine woke up to find Kurt's bed perfectly made. His things were still there, all where they were supposed to be. Kurt walked in the door as Blaine sat down at the table and began eating his fruit loops. He sat down.
"I found my ring." He said coldly as he slid it over the table to Blaine.
Blaine picked up the ring and furrowed his brow. "You don't want to wear it?" He asked. Kurt shook his head proudly.
"Kurt, listen. Let me make you dinner tonight. We need to have a talk, and I just want it to be just us. Please just let me make you dinner. We can have a romantic night and forget about everything. If you still don't want to be with me after that, then…" Blaine trailed off.
"Then what?" Kurt asked.
"Then we'll get a divorce." Blaine choked out. "But please… before that, please let me make you dinner. Just tonight. Tonight at 6pm sharp."
Kurt studied Blaine for a moment before finally nodding slowly. "Okay." He said.
Kurt went to rehearsal that day, and Blaine started preparing as soon as Kurt left. Blaine dusted the piano that was in the dining room, looked up all kinds of recipes for Kurt's favorite foods, went and bought antique wine, and did everything he could to make this night special. Blaine sat in suit and tie, waiting for Kurt to walk in the door.
The four-cheese lasagna was sitting on the table, steaming hot. It was accompanied by salad, and a large bottle of wine that took Blaine driving an hour to get. But it was going to be worth it, because it was going to be for Kurt.
Three minutes passed. Blaine looked at his watch continuously. 6:03. He tapped his foot and tried to rearrange the placemats on the table. He rearranged the rose petals and made sure the candles were in the right places. He checked his watch again. 6:20. He put the lasagna back in the oven to heat it up some more. He didn't want it to be cold. He heated it and heated it. He re-tossed the salad and made sure the dressings were cold enough. He checked his watch again. 7:00.
Blaine waited for another hour, and it was 8:00. Kurt forgot about the dinner. Blaine remembers everything that Kurt always forgets.
Blaine took off his tie, discarded his jacket, put the salad in the refrigerator, and put the wine away. He sat on the piano bench, which had rose petals lain all over it. He traced his fingers over the keys and remembered the excitement on Kurt's face when Blaine first told him that he bought a piano. He remembered teaching Kurt his favorite songs. He remembered talking about "One day, when we adopt, we'll write a song for our daughter." Blaine thought about how there will never be a song for his daughter, because he will never have one. He will never have a daughter because this night was Blaine's last chance to win Kurt back and Kurt didn't even give him the time. Blaine's eyes prickled with the tell-tale feeling of tears.
He moved his fingers on the keys and began to play instinctively. He played a song that was on his mind, one that related to his situation. His fingers moved gracefully over the keys as he began to sing.
"All those arrows you threw,
You threw them away.
You kept falling in love,
And then… one day…
When you fell, you fell towards me.
When you crashed in the clouds,
You found me."
Blaine didn't hear the front door open. He didn't hear Kurt running up the stairs. He didn't hear Kurt's phone call to Rachel, screaming, "Rachel! I forgot! I forgot all about it and he's trying and I'm not there and he needs me and I screwed everything up!"
Kurt heard the sound of the music as he entered the room and he tiptoed slowly to where he could see Blaine, passionately playing. He could hear Blaine's voice cracking. Blaine was crying, and he was crying really hard at that.
"Oh, Please…. Don't go…
I want you so...
I can't let go…
For I lose control."
Kurt's eyes swam in tears as he walked closer to Blaine, quiet enough to where he still went unnoticed. He sniffled to himself as he heard Blaine continue singing.
"Get these left handed lovers out of your way.
They look hopeful, but you.. you should not stay.
If you want me to break down and give you the keys…"
Blaine hiccoughed as he sang the next line, and it broke Kurt's heart.
"I can do that, but I can't let you leave."
Kurt placed his hand on Blaine's shoulder carefully. Blaine made a clanging noise on the piano keys as he jolted back on the bench. As he jumped back, he had managed to turn to where he was facing Kurt. Kurt sat down on the piano bench with Blaine, and they were facing each other. Kurt looked at Blaine's honey-colored eyes, which were shining bright from tears.
"Kurt, I…"
Blaine's words were interrupted by Kurt's lips on his. Kurt tentatively ran his tongue over Blaine's bottom lip, and Blaine opened eagerly. Their tongues moved slowly, twisting their heads and filling the room with small sighs of pleasure.
"I love you." Kurt whispered breathlessly as they pulled away, their foreheads resting together. Blaine kissed Kurt again, passionately.
"I love you too." Blaine sighed.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Kurt's voice broke. He buried himself into Blaine's chest, and Blaine held him like a fragile child. Kurt cried into Blaine's shirt, his hands gripping Blaine as if he were his last lifeline. "I was so stressed about life, and I just don't know how to deal with everything sometimes, and I just have to be a certain size for this part, and I'm overweight and I don't want you to get tired of me so my automatic instinct is to just push you as far away as I can." Kurt sobbed.
"Wait a minute," Blaine pulled away from Kurt so that he could look him in the eyes. "Some of this has to do with you being self conscious about your weight?" Blaine asked, his eyes piercing into Kurt's. Kurt nodded slowly after a moment.
"Oh, Kurt…" Blaine pulled Kurt into his arms for a moment, then pulled back and put his hands on both side of Kurt's cheeks. "You are beautiful. Don't you ever, ever think that you're inadequate in any aspect. You are perfect. Your body is not overweight; you are the most gorgeous man I have ever laid eyes on. I love you, Kurt. And I love you for you. And that you is the you that is beautiful in every way, the you that is funny and smart and has the best sense of clothing in the universe. You are the light in my life, Kurt. And I don't want you to ever feel like you're anything short of a Prince." Blaine said, not removing his gaze from Kurt's eyes for one second. "Okay?"
Kurt nodded, wiping tears from his eyes. "Okay." Then he was kissing Blaine again. This kiss was even more passionate than the first two. Their sighs were louder, and Blaine's hands ensnared into Kurt's hair. They pulled away after a few moments, Breathless.
"Blaine," Kurt breathed, then kissed Blaine again. "Make love to me."
Blaine pulled from Kurt and made eye contact with him. He searched his eyes to make sure that he was positive.
"Okay." Blaine breathed.
Kurt stood up and grabbed Blaine's hand. He slowly led Blaine to their bedroom, never running too quick or tripping up. This wasn't about fun; this wasn't about just a quick fuck. This was about them. This was about mending what was broken; this was about learning to love again.
They made it to the bedroom, and Kurt's knees hit the bed. He sat down, and Blaine slowly crawled on top of him.
"I love you so much." Blaine said above him, and Kurt grabbed Blaine's neck and pulled him down to kiss him soft and sensual. Kurt began unbuttoning Blaine's dress shirt, each button, one by one. As Blaine sat up to discard the piece of clothing, Kurt brought his shirt up over his head.
They both discarded and shimmied out of their pants, and now they were down to their briefs. Blaine lowered his very adamant erection onto Kurt's, and Kurt gasped. Blaine smiled and kissed Kurt again. Blaine swallowed each and every one of Kurt's sighs and breathy moans. They moved slowly and their hands traced over each other's skin like a newly painted canvas. Kurt palmed Blaine through his briefs, and Blaine let out a gasp. Kurt tentatively began pulling Blaine's briefs off, and Blaine did the same with Kurt.
Blaine took a second to admire the gorgeous man lying before him.
"You're so…. Perfect." Blaine whispered, his eyes raking over Kurt's body. He leaned down and kissed Kurt, eliciting small moans as their erections pressed together. Blaine sat up and squirted a generous amount of lube on his fingers. Kurt was lying on the bed, his eyes closed. His chest rose and fell as he inhaled and exhaled, his lips parted slightly. His hair was tousled and his cheeks were flushed. He was breathtaking.
"Are you ready?" Blaine asked quietly.
"Yes." Kurt sighed.
Blaine pushed one finger inside, and Kurt gasped at the contact. Blaine watched with careful eyes Kurt's expression as he pulled in and out. As Kurt began pushing back onto Blaine's finger, Blaine added another. Shortly after, Kurt was rolling his hips back onto the fingers. Blaine slicked up his cock and placed it at Kurt's entrance. Kurt made eye contact with Blaine and reached up to touch his chest. Blaine leaned down and met Kurt's hand. Kurt traced his fingers over Blaine's chest. He trailed up Blaine's neck, and then he cupped Blaine's face.
"I love you so much, Blaine. I'm always going to love you. I'm so sorry. I'm so in love with you that it would be impossible for me to leave you. I know that I get mean sometimes, and I know that sometimes I say things I shouldn't… but I love you more than anything in this world, and nothing is ever going to change that. I'm sorry for not trying, and I'm sorry for not communicating with you. I love you. I'm going to try harder. We're going to be happy again, okay? We're gonna be happy again." Kurt's eyes filled to the brim with tears, and when he tried to blink them away, they just ran down his face. Blaine nodded and tears filled his eyes as he kissed Kurt.
"We're going to be happy." Blaine repeated as he pushed into Kurt's entrance.
The remainder of the night was filled with sighs of pleasure and tears of joy.
Because this time, they knew that they meant it.