How To Ruin Ed's Good Mood (à la Roy Mustang)
A/N: I found this dialogue on my English notebook. I think it was a few years ago when we had to write a dialogue as homework... and ofc, I wrote about Roy and Ed. And because this was for school, there is no slash/yaoi/shonen ai and not even hints of it... (well, I can still easily imagine them because Roy and Ed... they're sooo obvious)
Roy: Ed... You see this?
Ed: I do. But I can't believe it.
Roy: Me neither. She actually has written about us with no mentions of our so called 'passionate relationship'... x_o
Ed: I know! I'm so fucking happy I could die because now everyone can see how our relationship really is!
Roy: Exactly! I'm so happy I could hug you!
Ed: Know what, Mustang? Me too!
Roy&Ed: *hug*
...
Ed: *pulls apart* WTF?
Roy: What?
Ed: … did you just... grab my ass?
Roy: NO!
Me: *grins like a psycho* mwahahahahaa... Nice one, Roy. Now I can get over my shock. ;p
- Hello there, Fullmetal. You seem happy. What's up?
- Even if it's not any of your god damn business, Colonel Bastard... lately some good things have happened to me, that's all.
- Things like...?
- Well... I've managed to stop fighting with Al for instance and...
- And what?
- I've grown two centimeters!
- Uh... You sure?
- Absolutely.
- Congratulations. Now your life is complete.
- … Was that sarcasm?
- What, where? I didn't notice anything.
- Haha, very funny, bastard.
- Isn't it? Anyways... how long did it take for you to grow that much?
- … A few weeks.
- Oh, really...?
- Fine, a few months!
- I wonder about that...
- FINE, it took a few years, happy now, asshole?
- A few years and you manage to grow only two centimeters? That's impressive, Fullmetal.
- Oh, fuck off!
- Aw, don't get so mad about it. I'm sure you'll be able to grow yet another centimeter if you just wait a few years... but then again, you will start shrinking soon so I wouldn't count on that.
- That's it, I'm never telling you anything ever again!
- Wait, Fullmetal! Look... I'm sorry.
- Huh? You are?
- Yes, of course. Two centimeters in a few years... that really is something.
- … You think so?
- Sure I do. I mean, how on Earth can someone that young grow so slowly?
- …FUCK YOU! My good mood is fucking ruined because of you, thanks a lot, Mustang!
- As always, a pleasure.