AN: So this is my first story and I have my partner in crime Star at heart. Love her, she is by far the best. The song for this chapter is Assassin's Creed 2 OST track 1 earth. Read and Review

Disclaimer: Would we be writing fanfiction if we owned Legolas and friends.

Chapter 1: Earth

The sky was black with smoke and the air tasted of burning flesh and some burning potatoes. A woman, was running down a hall way of a palace. Her destination, safety for her only child. She finally finds him, he will help her, she hopes.

"Gandalf I fear for my daughters safety, she is allergic to the burning potato fumes. She must leave The Kingdom of Nightshade now!" Gandalf takes the young infant girl from the queen.

"The only place that I think she will be safe is in another dimension. The folk there are freaks so they shouldn't be in any real danger." Safe in a place of freaks, yeah right! the queen thinks.

"Where is this place of freaks?"

"The dimension of Dinosaurs."

" Uhm I think they have renamed it..some stupid name..Terra I think..yeah Terra." The queen says her goodbye and watches as her daughter is transported by stick to her home dimension, Earth. These are the last thoughts that run threw her head as the un hot wild-men break down the doors of the palace.

14 years later…

Ash P.O.V.

"MOM! DO I HAVE TO TAKE HER? I MEAN SHE SMELLS LIKE KAKA!" I scream at my mom. My annoying little sister Magnolia or Maggs as I call her, turns and glares at me.

"I don't smell like ka-whatever!"

"That's because you can't smell yourself!" She stormed of in a huff, while I stood there making faces at her back like a 8 year old. Why couldn't she smell nice like her twin or even her older brother. Speaking of them, they decided to emerge from their rooms, aka caves. My family was strange as it was but the kids made it even weirder. My family consisted of my mom who was a stand up comedian, my dad a massage specialist who looked like the Jolly Green Giant, my younger brother Justin, who is 14 and a computer nerd, my younger identical twin sisters Camille (Cami, 9) and Magnolia (Maggs,9) who were both completely different. Cami was into books and unicorns, while Maggs was into dirt, mud, food, and fantasy. Weird I know, but that is not even the half of it. Everyone in my family has brown hair and hazel eyes, while I have fiery red hair and electric blue eyes. Yeah I know I am hot for 16. Anyway back to the problem at hand.

"No, you don't have to take her." said my mom. I let out a sigh of relief, but it was short lived.

"Actually you have to take all of them!" Does the universe really hate me that much? Apparently so…I had completely forgot about Cami and Maggs's birthday! Fuck my life! I hadn't even thought about a stupid gift. Oh well just gonna have to get it later.

"What are we seeing again?" I turned and asked my sister. We were in line to pay for our tickets and I was getting impatient. The whole car ride they all sang 99 bottles of beer on the wall. By the time they made it to 85 bottles of beer I was fixin to punch someone.

" Four tickets for Lord of the Rings please." said Cami as she emerged from her book. We grab our food and head to the theater room. I have always hated movie theaters, they always brought back rough memories. But to get threw it I jus keep telling myself Don't be a negatron be a Optomisprime! Stupid right, but it works. But somehow the movie seems to draw my attention, with its action and suspense. By the end I can't feel my butt and I am tired. And it seems that Cami is the same as I look over and see her rubbing her numb butt. I nudge Justin out of his deep slumber. Poetic right? All the while Maggs is bouncing of the walls while talking about her favorite parts and gushing over the hot elves. I am glad by the time we get home, because I have found what I am going to get Maggs for her Birthday. The only problem is were am I going to find a shop that sells elf junk. Oh well that mission can wait for tomorrow, as sleep took me under.

My dream self awoke in an unfamiliar place. It smelt horrid and my dream eyes started to tear up. Potatoes where near! I look around to see a bright orange light that morphed into fire. There was a women near me…she seemed so familiar but why? Just as I reached out to touch her shoulder my dream changed. I am in a car. His car. Please no, I thought to myself I can't relive this. I look over to see him opening the door to get out. I open my mouth to tell him to stay here and don't go, because I know how this dream ends. He looks at me but its not him. It's not my Cole. This man has long blonde hair almost white and amazing blue eyes, or at least I think they were blue. He was breathtaking. I opened my mouth to speak but then the ground began to shake. I look up to see that he is fading away. "NO!"

I wake up in a jolt to see my two sisters bouncing on my bed, singing Birthday Sex. Did I hear them right? "Where the heck did y'all hear that song!" I screeched at them. They had not even turned 10 and where already acting like mini Britney Spears's.

" You have it on your iPod." exclaimed Cami.

"And you said that we could listen to it before you went to bed." finished Maggs as she continued jumping on my bed.

" Girls time for breakfast!" my mom hollered from down stairs. At that moment she was my savior. "HURRAY! PANCAKES" yelled my sisters in unison as they ran out of room. But not before they finished the song. Kids these days, meh.

I crawled out of bed and got ready for the day, throwing on any clean clothes on my floor. Which in the end resulted in a pair of my Hollister short shorts, a tank and a light cardigan also from Hollister. What can I say I have good fashion sense. Although the cardigan and tank stopped before my belly button, which thankfully was an inny!

As I walked down the stairs I thought about what my plans for today were. First I had to go fill my car with gas, then I had to pick up cake mix for later, and finally get the birthday presents. For Cami a simple text book will do. But for Maggs a trinket from a shop of elves.

Gas…check. Cake mix…check. Birthday present for Cami….check. Maggs's birthday present… no check. Damn it. Okay so maybe the mall, I hope. After parking my car I try to discretely walk into the Celtic antiques shop, in search of a trinket of elf "origin". But as I walk into the shop I am attacked by the smell of numerous cats. I immediately take a step back. Are cats even allowed in this mall and if so I would like to sign the petition that will have them banned…FOREVER. I continued my journey, fighting threw the waves of cats running around on the ground . When I finally made it to the counter I was in need of a shower. I am pretty sure my legs aren't suppose to be THAT hairy. The woman behind the counter was hunched over, feeding the few cats that were around her.

"Uhmm, excuse me?" I said.

"Yes, how may I help you?" said the women.

As she turned around I noticed that she was a tiny Chinese women in her late 60's with smile wrinkles surrounding her small black eyes.

"Do you guys sell any elvish trinkets?" I asked.

"Yes over in the corner next to the sheep skins. But don toush noting! Yew break yew buy." she yelled as I walked back to the corner she pointed out.

What I thought was a blanket of cat hair was actually the sheep skin, so I knew I was in the right place. There were four shelves covered in figurines, but few were covered in jewelry. As I was about to pick up a figurine of a elf with white hair and a flowing blue robe, a wild hand appeared out of no were and slammed into my hand that was out stretched.

"DON TOUSH!"

"I-I'm sorry, I was kinda maybe sorta thinking about buying it." I stammered.

She pulled her hand back and a small smile appeared on her wrinkled face.

"Okay then, that statue is 9.83."

"9.83, don't you mean like 9.85 or 9.80?" I mean I have heard about off prices but that was just weird.

"No 9.83. I only take exact change" With that she turned and walked back to the counter.

I turned back to the shelves, and saw a beautiful ring strung on a necklace. It was a beautiful gold that had an inscription of some weird language on it, it was hanging on a silver chain. I had to buy it, it was like calling to me, buy me buy me! But the funny thing was that it was actually talking! It was saying put me on put me on. Okay this is just weird. I looked around for the Chinese lady, and I found her brushing one of her cats on the counter….Oka. I turned back to the necklace and picked it up. As the ring settled into a position between my boobs a searing pain shot threw me and a bright light flashed. Then everything went black and I was falling.

R&R