Looking back

A face haunts me a face that's not scary but a face that has blonde spiky hair, a few freckles and the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen. This face though doesn't belong to anyone bad no this face belongs to my lover Cloud Strife.

Looking back it's hard to say where we crossed that line between friends and lovers as the last 6 months have been a blur but if I had to pinpoint it I would probably hedge my bet on the morning I woke to find his arms around me.

I had woken from my best night sleep ever to find strong arms wrapped around me. I knew exactly who it was, it was the man that had claimed my heart all those years ago but he was none the wiser. I turned in his bear hug to face him. I felt sorry for him as soon as my eyes settled on his still closed ones. He had been crying again something he had been doing more of late but I had yet to know exactly what had been causing it. The crystal clear tear tracks were a clear sign. This time I was guessing a nightmare from his past something that a mere boy should never of had to go through. Hopefully he would be able to tell when he woke so for the time being I snuggled closer to him allowing myself for once to bask in being so close given in to my heart's desire. Which was him and my god did he smell good as my head rested against his chest, the smell of oil, pine and lemon filled my senses oh how I loved him oh how I longed for him but he still had no idea of those feelings.

I woke about two hours later to the feel of Cloud running his fingers through my hair.

"Cloud?" I asked

"hm?" Cloud responded if you could call it that a response

"Why were you crying last night and um why did you come into my room?" I went for it I had to ask it was bothering me since I had first woken this morning not that I had minded he was in my bed I was just curious. I kept my gaze locked on his and with a sigh I got my answer.

"Last night I um I had a nightmare before you say it no it wasn't one from the past, it was a different fear, I was scared I had lost you, you and the kids had gone, left me alone and you would never come back" He explained stopping there as his eyes became filled with un-fallen tears

"Oh Cloud that will never happen because well um" Oh god this is so embarrassing come on Tifa you can say it, I mentally scalded feeling stupid for having to pause before I could say the three little words that could change my life forever.

"Teef?" he pressed after I still didn't respond. It was now or never and never just didn't seem like an option.

"Cloud it will never happen because well for the longest time" I paused to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat "Iloveyou" I finished stringing the words together so they were less incoherent well so I hoped anyway.

The next few minutes of silence seemed to pass like hours or maybe it was days as time literally stood still for me as I waited for some answer that he heard and well as my heart hoped returned those feelings. Slowly time began again as a small smirk appeared across Cloud's lips and his eyes lit up.

"Teef what was that?" Cloud asked struggling to hide the humour in his voice for once.

"I um said I love you" I restated blushing deeply.

And then I heard the last thing I was expecting a mixture of laughter and tears. I flashed him a glance that was meant to be an sign of how anger I was that he would be laughing at me but at the same time he had tears falling from his eyes. This was the last thing I believe I would hear and well see.

"Cloud" I began this time my voice no longer full of embarrassment or shyness though is that really a word to describe one's voice but what was there before had gone and was replaced with something between anger, shock and amusement. Yet Cloud continued to laugh and cry. My angry boiled more.

"Cloud stop laughing at me!" I yelled at him and then with my fist already curled I punched him, okay it was hardly a sore or one of my usual punches that I used during a fight but one that would leave a mark.

"Teef I'm sorry, it's just I'm well overjoyed to hear you say that and I didn't know if I should laugh or cry, because Teef I have to admit I love you too" Cloud smirked.

That was how it all started for us that one fear that had scared Cloud the night before and then the confession the morning I woke to find him in my bed.

From that morning on we had become a couple albeit a awkward couple for the first few days, we have been friends with crushes on each other for so long that being more than that was indeed awkward.

Eventually though our awkwardness vanished and to be just friends seemed stupid and the fact that we were for so long seemed more foolish. Why hadn't we been able to say something beforehand. Well there was no point on dwelling on the what ifs the point was we were together now and that's what mattered most didn't it.

But today marked the six month anniversary we had been together as a couple six months our friends had been kept in the dark. But I was pretty certain that after tonight our relationship states would become public. From what Cloud had planned it was something special a fancy restaurant that takes months to get a table there and he had managed. Then we were planning on going to the beach for a stroll.

So did I think Cloud would propose tonight to right I did and yes that may be getting ahead of myself or getting my hopes up that my oldest dream could come true. A dream though I had kept secret for so many years now only ever dropping tiny hints. Even so whatever happens our little dating relationship would be known to our friends. Reason being well Barret was coming to babysit and when he finds out that it's because Cloud and I are going on a date. I can hedge a 1000 gil bet on him that he'll of told everyone within an hour of hearing the news.

So either way whether this night ends in engagement or just like other nights of late, we'll still be out. Not that I cared the last six months had been wonderful especially those long hot nights in bed together and the mornings that followed after. They had also been tough whenever one of our friends were around it was awkward it was like we were two kids from rival gangs and having to keep our love secret so we would be hurt. Okay pretty extreme comparison but at times it felt that way.

Other times it was scary in the sense we had been outed but thankfully it was only Yuffie and Reno that had been suspicious and boy would they find out how right they were after tonight. Reno though had been the closet to finding out why? Well let's just say he still tried hitting on me which didn't sit well with Cloud, the minute Reno tried anything and I do mean anything he would find himself being kicked onto the steps of Seventh Heaven and being yelled at never to go near me again by a very angry Cloud. However though those nights were much more intense as he put everything into claiming me as his and I was always too willing to expect it.

You see this is why he haunts me, even though we're apart just now and by that just in separate rooms getting ready for our date he's still on my mind. All I have to do is close my eyes and I see his face. I love him and that's all there is too it.

Finally I'm ready, my hair is pulled back into a bun with the chopstick hair pieces Cloud got me sticking out from it. I'm wearing a dress that hugs my figure and giving my already ample chest a slight boost in size that is blue in colour that clashes with the chopsticks in my hair. Then on my feet a pair of embellished black strappy low heeled shoes. Finally ready after grabbing my matching bag, I leave our bedroom to wait on Cloud.

Little did I know he was already waiting on me. God he looked handsome standing there in a dress shirt and a pair of black suit trousers with his jacket draped over his shoulder, his tie matching my dress too. What little self control I had that that moment managed to stop me from running up to him and kissing him senseless until the two of us were gasping for air. When I did close the distance between us I pressed a soft lingering kiss to his lips. Pulling away he whispered

"You look beautiful tonight Teef"

I blushed but thanked him for his compliment adding a not too bad yourself on to my reply.

Cloud still had his hand clasped in mine as Barret's voice called out for me.

"Tifa!?"

"In here" I replied, looking at Cloud as if to say don't let go of my hand as I felt his grip loosen only to tighten again at my look. It was time that they all knew we had kept it secret long enough more in case we didn't work out but after six months we showed no signs of slowing down so it was time.

"Hey Tif" Barret only managed to get out before he stopped dead in his tracks seeing us.

It took him a few minutes before he could speak again.

"What's this what's going on here are you two finally dating and if you are Cloud I swear to Odin that I will hurt you if you hurt her" Barret began he was almost babbling and shouting all at once, it was quite a site actually.

"Well actually we've been dating for six months we just never told anyone before just in case" I said my gaze dashing between Cloud and Barret.

"Well Teef all I can say then is congratulations and that he better look after you or there will be hell to pay" Barret said fixing his gaze to the floor, his voice soft like whispering to a child. This was unlike him and obviously it had rather shocked him but there was no time to dwell on that now, we had a restaurant to get to.

"Call if you need anything we'll be going now" I said as I closed the door behind us locking from the outside.

"Well that went better than I thought" Cloud smirked gesturing to me to join him on Fenrir. Once on I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my face against his back as we sped off towards the restaurant.

When we arrived we were shown to our table a small one near the back of the restaurant but next to a beautiful stain glassed window. No wonder this restaurant took months to get a table at it was simply beautiful and I was just glad I was getting to spend my time here with the man I loved so dearly.

"Teef" Cloud began after taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah" I return starting to feel butterflies in my stomach.

"There is something I want to ask actually I've been wanting to ask you this for a while now but now seems like the perfect time to ask you this" he paused to slide off the chair and down onto one knee. Oh my Odin I was shocked but happy and was kind of expecting this but my god I was so happy right then I wanted to just hug him and scream to the world yes before he had even asked me. I must of wanted this more than I thought because my mind had regressed to a five year olds.

"Teef will you please do make me the happiest man in the whole of Gaia and marry me?" Cloud asked his cheeks flaming red.

"Oh Cloud yes of course I will, I love you" I practically screeched probably scaring many of the other customers of the restaurants but did I care nope. I was far too happy to care I was no engaged to Cloud and that's all that really mattered. With the beautiful ring on my finger I embraced Cloud in a bear hug as tears of happiness streamed down my face.

We left the restaurant in almost a bliss like sate well I did anyway. I couldn't quite believe that I was engaged. We got back onto Fenrir and made our way to the beach. Yeah it was starting to get cold but the beach was somewhere we hadn't been in ages and after what had just happened well it would be nice to go for a romantic stroll along the beach in the moonlight.

As I expected the beach was deserted the only things left were the gulls that flew over head and the occasional lump of drift wood. Just before we got onto the beach I stopped and took of my shoes, walking on sand with heels far too difficult. Our hands clasped together as we strolled down the beach. We got about half way down the stretch of seafront when I decided I wanted to be a kid again. I was just too happy all I wanted to do was dance and spin with Cloud on the moonlight beach.

I pulled him closer, guiding his hand to my waist and the other well that was fine as I placed my hand on his shoulder. He looked at me like I was mad.

"Teef what are you doing" he asked quirking an eyebrow

"I want to dance, yeah I know there is no music but please just humour me" I giggled I really did feel like a little girl again.

So we danced rather awkwardly on the beach in the moonlight which towards the end we were just spinning in the surf of the water, giggling like a couple of school kids. We finally stopped spinning as we fell into the sand. He fell onto me, his deep blue pools shinning and the smile he wore across his face reaching his eyes. I was so dam happy right now. I reached up and claimed his lips with my own in a searing kiss. Soon thought that kiss turned into something more passionate, hands slipping under clothes and hastily removing them so our warm skin was exposed to the cool night air. Neither of us knew exactly what we were doing, okay that's a lie because we did know what we were doing we were about to have sex on the beach but that's also where we didn't know what we were doing in the sense of we were doing it on the beach something we had never done anywhere other than our bed room.

Tonight though caring about things didn't matter the only thing that mattered was him. It really was a magical night as corny and as sappy as that sounded it was true, it was magical maybe that had something to do with the engagement who knew. It was the following morning just as the sun peaked over the horizon that I woke to find us naked on the beach. I couldn't help but giggle at our situation. Waking up naked I mean who wouldn't laugh at something like that, plus we looked a state as far as I could tell.

"Teef what's so funny?" Cloud asked waking up next to me.

"Us, I mean look at us what are we doing, we're on a beach naked, I never would of thought I would do this even if I was with you" I giggled I still seemed drunk on what happened last night.

"I suppose your right there" he smirked "But I think we better get dressed and head home the kids are probably wondering where we've been not to mention Barret will kill me if he knows what happened" he added.

So quickly we got ourselves dressed and walked okay he walked and carried me back to Fenrir before we sped home hoping the wind would help clear some of the sand from our hair.

When we did arrive home we had a very angry Barret waiting for us. Honestly if it really could happen he would have smoke puffing from his nose and ears.

"WHERE THE FU, I MEAN HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!" he demanded, I had never been scared of him before despite his size but right then and there he seemed so dam scary I just wanted to hid behind Cloud something I never thought I would do.

"Well um last night after our meal we went to the beach and we got a little silly and then fell asleep on the beach and what I mean by silly is dizzy and that was my fault because I'm just so happy" I explained leaving out the part where we had had sex on the beach he didn't need to know that.

"Happy from what?" He asked this time his voice soften.

"This look, Cloud proposed" I squealed shocking both Cloud and Barret, Cloud more so as I latched onto his arm.

"Wow, um congrats again I suppose and take care of her" Barret grumbled before pushing past us and out the door.

"That could of gone a lot worst" I said

"Yeah I think your right there" Cloud agreed.

A week later and every one of our friends had heard about our engagement which lead to an awfully long phone call with Yuffie explaining that we wouldn't be getting married anytime soon. Not that we didn't want to but right now it was expensive to get married right now a marriage licence alone cost around a 2,000 gil not to mention the dress, the suit, the venue, ceremony and the food would all cost too and right now that wasn't something we could afford easily.

You see although we had made quite a bit of money during our travels it took a large sum of it to get us in some sort of suitable living situation to begin with and there was still things like food we had to buy which although cheaper than it was all those years ago after Edge was built and the land started to be reclaimed food was still not cheap. Wouldn't you given the choice rather eat than get married? Cloud and I both knew that that day would come but we would just have to wait.

However little did I know that our little friend Yuffie had other ideas.

Five years later

That was all five years ago now my had time flew. Cloud and I did get married around a year after he proposed. We hadn't planned it but Yuffie had set the whole thing up. She had gotten us a license somehow, gotten Turtle's paradise to cater the reception and provide the drinks and somehow she had managed to find my mother's wedding dress and altered it slightly to bring it up to date, not to mention have Cid all fly us out to Nibelheim to get married.

It was quite a surprise to say the least but one that we were grateful for in the end.

A lot though had changed in the last five years, more of Midgar was reclaimed and a new President of the country was selected, that had gone to Reeve so he now had a very big weight on his shoulders but one I was sure he could manage. Barret he had finally managed to find a score of clean renewable energy that wouldn't harm the planet. Yuffie was still Yuffie and Cid and Shera well they were busy trying to build a new rocket as they looked after their daughter and as for Vincent and Red XIII well they had both moved past their pasts and Red well he had settled down with another of his kind and Vincent he still roamed the planet for signs for trouble but he often returned to Lucrecia's cave.

As for me and my family? Well Marlene was just about to start High school and Denzel was about to go into his final year. Cloud he stayed home more these days so he could spend more time we me and our son Jae who was almost four.

We had tired not long after we got married to have kids. Cloud knew it was something I always wanted but the first time the test came back negative and the second well about three almost four months in I suffered a miscarriage but after a break I fell pregnant again and this time I managed to give birth to our beautiful son who took after his father in every way.

We were happy and no one could take that away however, Cloud's face still haunted me but in a good way seeing his face even in my dreams I knew that he would never leave and that was a fear that had long been buried just like his was too. As always each night we would put Jae in bed and then retreat to ours. Talk for a little bit, then a kiss goodnight and the light would go out and he would invade my dreams. Okay that didn't happen every night sometimes we did more than just talk if you catch my drift but the point is we went to sleep happy and our past could never affect us again.

A/N

I can up with an idea for the start but I lost sight of it as I wrote. hey it happens.

Anyway this is about Tifa looking back to when Cloud and her became a couple. I did try at the end to tie in the start of this story hope its worked. I'm never good at endings I always feel mine suck.