/Author's note: Hi there! It's my first fanfiction ever so I'd be happy for every comment from you. Also - english isn't my first language so I'll be really happy if you'd tell me what grammar mistakes I've made in this short story. Please enjoy~

Prepare for angst. Point of view - Horikawa Kunihiro.

When we were told that the great war was over, we were honestly overjoyed by this. We've had celebrated for all night without realising one important fact - war's end meant that we had to part ways with our friends, lovers, Saniwa.

But back then we really didn't care about this. Maybe, just maybe, if we've had understood it a little bit faster, we wouldn't be forced to part ways in such cruel way.

Yet, when the dawn came after our celebration, no one seemed to care until the moment when we've started to fade - our souls and sword vessels were forced by some invisible power to go back to the right place.

I'll never forget our Master`s face when he bade us farewell. He was crying, yes, but I still wonder if they were really tears of sorrow - the great war was over after all and none of us broke in the last battle. Now he could live proper life with his human friends, free of bloodshed, stress, free of us.

At first it was frightening. I've woken up in absolute darkness, in the place of solitude and despair, surrounded not by the laughter in my beloved Citadel but by shards of many, many blades. I was alone in this hell, where every bit of steel reminded me of my dearest friends. I couldn't help but shout in this underwater world, calling my friends' names one by one and never getting any reply. I tried to tell myself that it was only a dream - a cruel nightmare - and soon I'll wake up in my futon, next to Kane-san. And yet sooner or later I've finally realised I've been fooling myself all this time.

The great war was over.

There was no Kane-san's morning grumpy attitude, no Toushirou's laughter, no Mikazuki's tea time - only darkness, water and me. It was truly frightening and I've often felt like dying, right there, right now, just to run away from this solitude. One time I literally tried to break myself - my sword body - to commit suicide, but I've failed. I still don't know if I regret this or not.

After days, months or even years of this torture, I've started to feel much calmer. I managed to find happiness in the smallest things like lantern fish suddenly swimming next to me or quiet calming sound of fish school passing somewhere nearby. I've missed the sunlight, wind, trees and even the war, but I was slowly accepting my fate. We have won and this was our prize. I only wished that my friends were happy right now - together in some collection or museum, not alone like me.

Was Kane-san thinking about me? How many days have passed since the end? I didn't know, but each day I cared less and less, becoming one with the sand that was slowly covering my body and taking away my emotions.

But one day it changed - all my feelings for Citadel, Kane-san and everyone else came back rushing like a waterfall. I saw a light in this vast darkness and soon a group of people in strange clothes swam so close to me that I could easily reach for them with my hand if only I wasn't a spirit. They were swimming in circles and it was so obvious they were looking for something that I just couldn't stay still. Sometimes they picked up bigger shards of blades and put them in a big box. Yes, I was finally going to be saved! At least that's what I was thinking back then. Why did I even think this way? These people were looking for swords, that's right, but they weren't able to find me - one of many blades hidden from humans' eyes by the dark sand. Soon they were gone and I was all alone in this world which suddenly started to look darker and more frightening than before.

It took me many, many days to feel better. I already knew suicide wasn't an option but I tried again anyway - the result should be obvious. So I waited and waited, struggling to accept my fate, to get rid of my hope. I only wanted to die but the death didn't want me.

I hated this irony - when I was in the Citadel it was the death I feared the most but now I was looking for it in every moment of my life. If only I could just go and change history so I would prevent myself from being sunk in the ocean…

Now I'm still surrounded by nothing but darkness. I've finally lost my hope to be found when I was fully covered with many layers of dark sand. At some point I've stopped to move my spirit body at all. I can only think now and this is what I'm doing - I'm thinking about my friends, about our Saniwa, days in the Citadel, about Shinsengumi, history and about the great war with History Retrograding Army. I'm thinking about reincarnation - was it possible for us, sword warriors, to die and come back to life as human beings? If yes, then I'd like to see my friends again, as a human.

The urge to change my forlorn destiny was growing, through I haven't really noticed this - I thought I've finally accepted my fate of solitude until the world's end.

And one day in the future I'll see a faint red light. It will be warm like Kane-san's smile and tempting like his voice. I won't try to resist. It will be my true destiny. This light will turn into flames and will cover both my real and spirit body. It will give me the power to change my fate, to see Kane-san again, to make my dream come true.

One day I will start the great war again.

And Kane-san will be the one who will finish my life.

But I won't regret it because I already know that this is the only way for us to meet again.