Dib laid in the bed, curled up under the covers, not wanting to leave. All he wanted to do was curl up and stay there forever, feeling the weight of a hundred billion eyes on him. He had seen himself be embarassed in front of an entire galaxy, all thanks...to ZIM. And now the young glasses-wearing black-haired youth didn't ever want to get out of bed. He wished it was possible to literally die from embarassment, because this was exactly how he felt...like a dead man walking, not truly alive, just...a nothing. A nothing and a nobody who wasn't even truly alive. He didn't want to think. Didn't want to feel. He just wanted to lie buried under the covers forever.
But then a soft knock came at the window, and he looked outside, seeing a familiar sight of white hair, and a golden jacket. Pink albino eyes gazed back, the faintly smirking face of Michael White gazing back at him as he cheekily grinned and waved, standing atop a tree branch outside Dibbun Membrane's home as Dib managed to mumble out...
"Whuh?"
"I know what'll cheer ya up." White said with a cheeky grin. "You need a holiday. A vacation away from Zim. Come with us into space, Dib! A week away, doing whatever the hell you want. Just think about it."
"Oh, c'mon." Dib grumbled as he turned over on his side and "harrumphed", shaking his head. "I can't skip school without my dad's permission."
A moment later, the window broke, a rock bobbing him on the head as he let out an 'OW' and sat up, looking down at it. A note was wrapped around the rock, which he picked up and turned over in his hands. "What's this?"
"Your dad's permission." White said, holding up a pen and twirling it expertly between the fingers of the tipless gloves he wore, laughing a bit. "C'mon. My treat. In a week, everyone will forget about your embarrassing little incident, people got short memories. Especially around THIS galaxy."
"You can forge people's signatures?! How?!" Dib asked, looking down at the note, White shrugging a little, looking...faintly guilty?
"Oh, no, my kid can do that. Had to pay Puck an extra ten grand for that, but he did it. Probably having a great time off in Vegas, goin' to see the Wiggles, Live..." White said with a sigh before tilting his head a bit. "So? How about it? You, me, and the Resisty are going on vacation, Dib. Whaddya say? One week to do whatever we friggin' feel like. No strings attached...just me doing you a favor."
"Cuz you're such a nice guy?" Dib asked, tilting his head a bit in confusion and faint sarcasm as he raised an eyebrow up, White sniggering.
"Naw, everyone says I'm an asshole. Let's show the Irken Empire that everyone is right." White said, taking Dib's hand and yanking him out the window, hopping down to the ground as he gave a thumbs up to a hovering-amazingly-too-close spaceship high above them in the shape of a standard freighter. "Tell me..."
Dib found himself and White enveloped in soft faint greenish light, lifted high, high into the sky and up via tractor beam into the waiting ship, his eyes widening in awe as White grinned. "You ever played mailbox baseball? Wanna see something even better?"
"What do you mean?"
They touched down inside the ship, a Vortian wearing goggles and a blue and green outfit smirking proudly as he held up a large baseball bat, grinning along with his crew as they held up bats of their own, White handing Dib one as he held it high, swinging the Lousiville Slugger about, enjoying the weight of it in his hands...
THE NEXT MORNING...
The sun was beginning to crack over the surface of the Planet Irk, an deep expanse with red clouds ambling by overhead in an orange sky. The wind was blowing faintly soft, a faint dust crop blowing across the plains towards the capital as a small group of unmistakably impressive hover crafts parked atop a hill overlooking the capital, Dib readying his baseball bat as he stood up in the seat.
Lard Nar calmly looked over at his crew, the Vortian smiling in pride as the many members of the Resisty readied themselves, Darin the Arcadian holding a thumbs up as he drove the LARGEST hovercraft there, Michael White readying a guitar to play as he stood atop immense, booming speakers, a microphone attached to the top as well whilst the wind blew through his white locks. "It's all set up?"
"I double-checked it. It's in pefect synchronization, I assure you." Darin chuckled, square hair being unmoved by the power of the wind. "It'll work fine...and play even better."
"But will it do the FLAAAAAMES?!" Shloonktapooxis inquired, the faintly cone-like little alien's itty bitty eyes bugging out as his purplish head spun around and around in the center of the cone.
White grinned, and played a string, and a burst of flames shot forth from the end of the guitar/flamethrower as he laughed and laughed. "About a hundred blocks worth of capital, we got full tanks of gas, we're the most wanted people in the Empire...and we're wearing sunglasses."
"HIT IT!" Dib cried out, grinning in delight behind his own sunglasses as they poured down the street, and barreled into the capital, the unsuspecting population of Irk's capital lying in wait.
If I had a perfect day...
I would have it start this way:
Open up the fridge and have a tall boy!
Yeaaah...
They shot down the main road, White strumming along, continuing to sing as other members of the Resisty began to pop some cold ones in their own cars, getting ready for when it'd be THEIR turn up at bat as Dib readied himself and grinned in pride, seeing the power coupling on the side of the building they were approaching which ran the traffic lights for this street. Closer...closer...
Then I'd meet up with my friends,
Head out to the game again!
We-don't-even-really-care-who-wins,
Yeah! Yeah-yeah-yeah!
KRAKKA-THROW! And awaaaaay it went! They soared through the streets, their bats connecting with power cables, couplings, generators, sending them flying through the air, crashing into apartments and nearby cafes and factories, all of them laughing and laughing in delight as White continued to play, flames belching from his guitar as he shredded away and they all sang along. Irkens ran screaming for cover, but not all of them got off so easily, Dib swinging his bat, knocking several clear into crowds, barreling them all over with a THRONKA-THUD as he grinned happily.
Now excitement seems to grow when we're hangin' with the bros!
When we're chillin' and we pound a case of Stroh's!
Now the game is cool to see! You can "High 5" on TV!
Count the riot on the one-two-three!
One Irken noticed only too late that the hovercraft was heading towards him and gaped in shock before he was struck, flying onto the windshield and splatting against it, groaning as Lard Nar frowned. "Ugh. Disgusting. Don'tcha HATE it when bugs get on your windshield?" He asked Dib, turning on the wipers, the power Irken being knocked left and right before being flung off into a mailbox, crashing right through it just as the mailman stopped in front of the house and looked down, seeing the Irken staring up at him through the slot.
"...fifty money fine." He said, sticking a pink slip on the Irken's face before walking off, the Irken screaming out that he only made ten monies a year.
Operation is in sight! And the field is open wide!
When you break it then you know you're still alive!
If the cops don't make you pay, and you make your getaway
Then you know that is one fine day!
"Oh, I wish my girl could see this...she'd have so much fun." White sighed as he shook his head back and forth, cringing a bit before brushing his hair back and taking in a deep breath, then resuming his work. His fingers flew over the guitar like a hummingbird zipping over a field of flowers whilst Dib twirled the bat, then climbed down, handing it to Lard Nar as HE took the wheel and NAR took position...with a gigantic water hose he'd hooked up to his car.
On that day before we're through...
We could torch a car or two...
Then have ourselves another tall boy!
Yeaah!
"I really MUST thank you for this ingenious idea." He shouted out to Dib as he readied the enormous water hose, unfurling it slightly from the back, an immense capsule of water stuck in the trunk as he fired it away, Irkens being swept through the streets as they howled and screamed and clawed at themselves, not used to Earthen water one iota.
"You know, I don't know WHY Zim thinks that the Irkens would ever win against my planet. All it would take is one rainy day and they'd all be writhing in the streets." Dib yelled back, nonchalantly adjusting the rear-view mirror, seeing they were finally being pursued by guard forces, the local law enforcement who's hovercraft had a distinct deep purple hue to them. "Zim's too dumb to let the empire know that rain hurts."
"What else can you expect from the "superior Irken Empire"?" Lard Nar laughed, turning around and waving cheekily at the guards...who's tops were down on their hovercraft. And all the armor in the world wouldn't help you if the TOP OF YOUR HEAD WASN'T COVERED.
Water hoses and batons...
That's the real game that's on!
I don't really give a shit who wins! Wins!
ONE TWO THREE!
It sprayed into them, making the cars spiral around and around as the Irken guards clawed at their eyes and forehead, howling. "My eeeeeyes! MY EEEEYES!"
Now excitement seems to grow when we're hangin' with the bros!
When we're chillin' and we pound a case of Stroh's!
Now the game is cool to see! You can "High 5" on TV!
Count the riot on the one-two-three!
Operation is in sight! And the field is open wide!
When you break it then you know you're still alive!
If the cops don't make you pay, and you make your getaway
Then you know that is one fine day!
The hovercrafts finally crashed all into one big pileup that smoked and sizzled, a cry of "MY LEG" echoing through the panicked air of the capital as Lard Nar cackled with delight.
"Ohhh, we're gonna get letters for that." White chuckled. "Ah, let's SEE Hillenberg try to sue me." He chuckled before slowing the guitarwork down, the Resisty all raising different drinks high into the air as White cleared his throat. "Heh-hem!"
I believe it's my god-given right...
To destroy everything in my sight!
Cause it never gets dull, it never gets old...
The only thing it gets is more bold!
Drinkin', fightin', going to the game...
In our world it's a way to stay sane!
If you're asking me "To have it my way"?
I'd say that's one fine day!
"WHY HAVEN'T YOU KILLED THEM?!" Tallest Red furiously roared out into his communicator, the Tallest glaring down at the face of his capital's security guards as Purple groaned, pinching the space between his eyes as he and Red watched the mandess unfold on a floating vid-screen from the Massive. Their very long-suffering Senior Communications Officer leaned back in his chair and cringing behind his green half-mask that was over his mouth and lower head as he adjusted the footage to better zoom in on the head of security's sweating face as his assistant eagerly grinned, knowing he was DEFINITELY going out an airlock soon and she'd be getting his job. "SHOOT THEM! I DON'T CARE HOW MANY TIMES! GET EYES IN THE SKY!"
"We were about to, but...well...um...we got locked out of our shipyard."
"...what." Purple deadpanned, antannae flattening against his head as Red raised a nonexistent eyebrow.
Now excitement seems to grow when we're hangin' with the bros!
When we're chillin' and we pound a case of Stroh's!
Now the game is cool to see! You can "High 5" on TV!
Count the riot on the one-two-three!
Operation is in sight! And the field is open wide!
When you break it then you know you're still alive!
If the cops don't make you pay, and you make your getaway
Then you know that is one fine day!
A pink-eyed Vortian nonchalantly sipped a cold boy of her own as she twirled the keys to every single one of the ships in the shipyard, sitting in a chair deep inside of its security building as she smirked. The entire place had been locked down from the inside, May Nar having taken advantage of a security measure that ALL Irken buildings had: a way to seal it off from inside and out. Now there'd be no way to get in...and she'd teleport out when she wanted to, a two-way teleportal belt around her waist with the Resisty ship cloaked not too far away from the yard as angry, furious, baleful Irkens banged uselessly on the shielding around the shipyard, unaware another ship was hidden only a quarter of a mile away behind some bushes!
"Oh, ain't I a stinker?" She mused aloud.
"Thank you, you've been a wonderful audience!" White laughed, his guitar belching flames one last time as he punched the air, and just like that, the Resisty all sped off in different directions out of the capital, May Nar 'porting out as she took the keys with her, the Irkens at the shipyard gazing in shock and then raw, seething indignation and fury as she cheekily waved from the window of the Resisty's ship.
"Looking for this?" She asked, waving the keys in the air.
"YOU FILTHY GOATY HEAD!" One of them yelled, bouncing up and down in rage, May smirking.
"A goat is still higher on the foot chain than a bug." She remarked, the Irken now getting so purple in the face he almost combusted from pure, raw fury on the spot, the Resisy's laughter ringing through the air as Dib felt the wind blow through his hair.
"Oh WOW, that was...WOW." He murmured.
"Best of all...it's all on high def." White added. "Wait until we splace in the dash-cam footage AND what Senior will send us from the traffic cams." The albino human chuckled as they made their way far, far outside the capital's outskirts, heading back to their main ship as White put the guitar down and sat upon the speakers. He reached into his golden jacket, pulling out his phone, looking at the screen and beginning to type away, Dib giving Lard Nar a grin.
"That was amazing! I've never felt so...free!"
"It's good to just let loose once in a while." Lard Nar admitted. "It felt SO satisfying giving those Irkens a bath they won't soon forget!"
Dib nodded in agreement, looking back at White, seeing him looking sadly down at the phone before sighing, his head hung, the phone slightly tilting to show what appeared to be a picture of a familiar redhead and a white-haired-
Then he put the phone away and turned to Dib. "So...what did you think of Day One of your vacation?"
"It was great, but...I'm a bit worried about Zim. What if he tries something back on Irk?"
White grinned back. "Trust me...we got that covered. It's a little something that we had Mortos Der Soulstealer work on in exchange for a favor from me. He's um...crashing on my couch." He added, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "One of the reasons my wife's not letting me come back home. Not until HE'S gone."
"What did you have that moocher do?" Dib inquired.
What indeed. The Irken Invader known as Zim had awoken to a very odd sound ringing in his lack of ears.
Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!
Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!
"What in the?!" Zim muttered, sitting up in his chair in his lab, ruby-maroon eyes glancing about as Skoodge nonchalantly looked over a nice looking ice sculpture he'd made of the Earth, looking quite pleased with it and a few other pieces he'd done in his spare time as he sat by a nearb table. "What's that song?"
Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring, bananaphone!
Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring, bananaphooooone!
I've got this feeeeeeling...so appeaaaaaling! For us to get together and sing, SING!
"Banana phone?!" Zim growled, looking about, shaking his head. "What is this banana phone?! What's going on?"
"Zim, what are you talking about?" Skoodge the Irken asked, his large head looking at Zim, head tilted a bit as he stared in confusion, Zim walking over to him and shaking him, eyes going wide.
"Don't you HEAR it?! The bananaphone?!"
Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring, bananaphone!
Ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring-ring, bananaphooooone!
It grows in bunches, I've got my hunches
It's the best! Beats the rest
Cellular, modular, interactivodular!
"MAKE IT STOP!" Zim cried out, shaking Skoodge madly before racing over to the corner, gripping his head and banging it against the wall, Skoodge pinching the space between his eyes. Ugh. This was gonna be one of THOSE days, wasn't it?
GIR then made his way down into the lab, holding up a top hat and a magician's cape wrapped around his neck. "Abracadabra! Alakazam! Kabbalah!"
"Oh, noooooo. You've been watching those magic shows again?!" Skoodge asked, eyes widening. The last time he'd done that, he'd somehow summoned Biggie Smalls who was STILL in their bathroom.
"Watch! Not ONE but-" GIR peeked into the top hat. "...d'awww. Where'd they all go?"
"What do you mean "they"-" Skoodge began to ask before the unmistakable sound of RATS echoed through the air, Skoodge shuddering as he turned around, letting out a shriek and racing across the lab as a horde of rats mutated from a nearby spilled laboratory canister raced at him, GIR blinking. Well, guess now he knew why magicians stuck with rabbits over rats.
Yep. Forget one of those days. It was gonna be one of those WEEKS.