Emmett's point of view
I walked in the kitchen that morning and had a feeling of dread. I could just tell something bad was about to happen. Maybe it was Alice walking around with several large bags of make-up. Maybe it was Eddie-kins petting his precious stereo. Jasper was playing with an etch-a-sketch. Never a good sign. Suddenly I felt like being a huge pain in everyone's ass, but before I could do any damage Eddie-kins looked up and said "Alice is angry because two of her credit cards got declined today, and she's looking for revenge."
"I'm shaking in my shoes." I said sarcastically. As soon as I made a plan, Esme walked in and said the most scary sentence of all time.
"Emmett, would you like to go to Home Depot with me?"
"Well, I actually had to go shopping with Rose." I hoped she would believe it.
"Rosalie left an hour ago dear Brother." I hate Edward. I hoped he would get mauled by a mountain lion.
"So, is that a yes Emmett?" awwww damn.
"Uhhhh, sure?"
When we arrived at Home Depot I felt like it was calling to me. Rows and rows of items that could cause potential physical and emotional pain to dear Eddie-kins. I found an empty uniform at the front of the store and I instantly grabbed it and changed in the bathroom. It was when I came out that I found the most peculiar looking customer. She said her name was Haushinka. Odd. Well I had to make this an opportunity for a little enjoyment here. "Well, hello miss Haushinka. Is there anything I can help you with."
"Well, sir I need a new wheelbarrow." Oh Carlisle no. (read "The Cullens have AIM" if you don't understand) I have always had a pathological fear of wheelbarrows. I still believe it's Edward's fault that the wheel barrow fell from the sky and landed on me.
"R-r-r-right this way ma'am" I can't believe I just stuttered. We walked to what looked like the wheelbarrow isle. I was legitimately scared. There were wheelbarrows stacked three levels high. Then I saw what looked like three of them move. Of course it might have been my paranoia, I need to get Carlisle to fix that.Then they jumped off at me, I ran as fast as the fastest human. When one of the top shelf flew at me. I screamed. Loudly. Then left that isle and was half way across the store at vampiric speed. I could have sworn I heard Edward laughing and Haushinka standing with a WTF???? Face as I left.