"Oi."
Eren knows that unimpressed oi leaking underneath the bathroom door like a pissed off rectangle of man-made light and cringes internally Okay, maybe a little bit externally as well but no one else is around to see. It s one thing to hear the oi , which means he s in a load of trouble, but another thing altogether to hear Levi s fast paced foot steps and then the door hinges squeaking quietly to admit passage to an extremely annoyed French man holding a frayed toothbrush with dried toothpaste caked down the sides of the faded rubber handle.
"What the fuck is this?" Levi demands, thrusting the thing forward like a prison shank. Levi is wearing nothing more than boxers and a clean t-shirt with no clear logos or designs. And he still looks unfairly fuckable, unfortunately, which makes getting yelled at pretty awkward. Eren pulls the thick duvet up over his crotch a little more and looks down at his 3DS and shrugs, trying to focus on anything but the possibility of getting yelled at more and worse yet, how fucking hot and hoarse Levi s smoke abused voice gets.
"A toothbrush?" Eren replies as casually as he can force himself to be.
"It s nasty as shit is what it is, dickweed." Levi snorts before whipping the far past dead toothbrush at Eren s head, who goes briefly wide eyed, tries to dodge and winds up getting hit in the center of the forehead.
Levi stalks back into the bathroom and Eren can hear him rifling around in the cupboards underneath the sink. He hears muttered French, including a few choice phrases that he s learned because Levi seems to say them a lot and he s gotten mighty curious some days, enough to turn to Google translate in hopes of some answers; as he s since found out, Levi just has a dirty mouth no matter what language he speaks. And God, why is French dirty talk to the absolute worst thing to face when attempting to snuff out the life of a prospective boner? It is a shame, really. He can tell, even in its current partially deflated pupal state, it has the potential to become the most exquisitely awkward boner ever to grace his pants. Levi tends to have that effect on him.
A hand bearing a brand new toothbrush extends from the bathroom door, the humming light bulb s sickly yellow light making Levi s skin resemble gross papyrus. Eren has always thought that the bathroom light fittingly turns everything the shade of piss.
"Replace your damn toothbrushes, Jaeger. Damn places are bacteria orgies." Levi orders, voice a bland growl.
Since this is Levi s house, it s his rules. Eren rolls his eyes childishly and bites back the urge to start growling back before there is an all out dick-biting competition.
"Fine, fine. I ll replace it sooner next time."
When Levi goes back to brushing his teeth, Eren tackles the Water temple and tries not to remind himself that he s still at half mast over a fucking toothbrush.
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Author's Notes:
aka Mo Writes a Thing But Doesn t Know What The Fuck is Even Happening'
ahahahahaha be gentle to me, this is my first lil Ereri thingyamaboob.