Hey y'all. This Drabble was written immediately after FDTD ended. It's a bit weird because it was used as a guideline for my character when I was an active role player. I'm still very much into this fandom, and I'm planning to write a fic based on an illegal club, with an undercover agent and yes, lots of the meantime, if you have a prompt for this fandom -i accept most ships-, please sent them over . 's it. Enjoy!
-as always, English isn't my first language, and this piece was unbeta'ed-
Work Text:Kate didn't immediately tag along with the Geckos, yet she stayed for a couple of weeks to heal, physically and didn't immediately tag along with the Geckos, yet she stayed for a couple of weeks to heal, physically and mentally.
Kate didn't immediately tag along with the Geckos, yet she stayed for a couple of weeks to heal, physically and mentally.
She slept twelve hours straight once her head hit the pillow. Her body was tired, but her mind remained wide awake. Things would've been simple for her if the nightmares hadn't begun. She stayed in bed the whole day, smiling softly when Scott or one of the brothers came to check her. It was easy at first, "it's nothing, I'm just tired," she would say, but the truth was that now that the adrenaline was leaving her body, Kate could finally feel the aftermath of her actions.
She found herself staring blankly at the wall, vaguely hearing the knocks at her door. "You sure alright?" Seth asked her once, and she nodded once, folding her hands in her lap. But the true was, that she wasn't.
Her breakdown was triggered by her reflection. After walking up, she entered the bathroom to take a shower. She peeled off the layers of clothes that were wrapped around her body, like an armor that protected her other persona. And then, she stared at her reflection in the mirror, and she felt her heart sink. Her eyes were empty, like two green orbs filled with darkness. Her make was all smudged over her face, and bruises adorned her body. The wound in her arm and wrist were still fresh.
Almost like an automat, she stepped into the shower, but the hot water did nothing to soothe her. Memories of the almost eight months living inside of her own body crashed through her mind, and she shook her head furiously, dropping down to the wet floor. Kate let out a sob, and then another, and soon, they didn't stop. Her body was shaking, and she felt the guilt and sorrow were finally crashing her down. Yes, the preacher's daughter was long gone now, but there it was a victim, a monster, a murderer.
Kate wasn't sure who found her under the stream of cold water, shivering as the tears didn't stop flowing from her eyes. Next thing she remembers, she was laying on the bed, with the lights off and Scott's hand holding was getting worse by the seventh day. Nightmares would wake her up every night, and when she closed her eyes, she felt Amaru there, by her side. Kate had seen her gone, but that didn't mean she would abandon her so easily. Her nightmares were always the same. She saw herself killing the people she loved, consuming their souls, finishing Amaru's job. Kate had seen Xibalba by first-hand. She had been there, too, and that wasn't easily forgotten.
By the tenth day, after restless nights she was going weak, again. She didn't sleep, didn't eat, didn't say more than monosyllables. And her demons never stopped haunting her. Damn Seth Gecko for not pulling the trigger when he had the chance, for not doing the favor that she knew she would never be able to do, for not being able to put her out of her misery.
(They didn't dare to leave her alone again when they found her in her bedroom, pieces of glass spread over the floor as she held one dangerously close to her wrist. "She was here!" Kate said, "She was looking at me.")
They asked her what she needed, and even Richie suggested that he can use his power to help her forget, but she shook her head.
In one of the moments of clarity, she told them she needed to do this on her own, that this is the only way she would be able to forgive herself for her sins, even if that had been all Amaru doing, she had been weak, incapable of doing nothing. "You wanted my forgiveness, guys, well, you have it, you're forgiven. That doesn't mean I forgive myself."
She didn't say anything else, but a few days later, she packed up her belongings and leave the place, not before writing a letter for each of them. Amaru had left a mark imprinted in her body, and as any other mark, they would leave a scar. It might take time, but she had to heal first and find herself again before trying to have a life again. After all, she has people worth fighting for.