Tasty Treats

Dr. House was enduring another monotonous afternoon of crotch rot and runny noses when things just seemed absolutely unbearable. Thankfully, there was one thing in the Clinic that convinced him to stay, and I'm not talking about the scenery (Have you seen Katie's new top? Talk about produce!). No, I'm actually talking about the delicious taste of those yummy red lollypops. Of course, House was too lazy and cheap to buy them on his own, so he simply stole them from the Clinic. Katie and Brenda didn't seem to mind.

As House grabbed his third lollypop of the day, he also grabbed the file for his fifth 'sucker' of the day.

"Exam Two," said Katie as she winked flirtatiously in House's direction.

House ignored the wink and limped off in the direction of Exam Room Two.

&-&-&-&-&

House opened the door of the exam room to find a happy family sitting inside. The mother, father, and a cute little baby (did he just think that?) were all awaiting the kind doctor's arrival. Too bad they were getting him today instead of Cameron.

"Hello," he said, "I'm Dr. House, how can I be of service?"

The happy family didn't seem so happy now. The father glared angrily at his wife.

The wife tried her best to avoid her husband's glare, and instead turned to House.

"Well," she said. "It all started as an April Fool's joke, really."

House could tell this would be really fun or really gross. Either way, it would make for a great story. "Please," he said childishly. "Do continue."

The woman sighed. "Well," she said. "I made my husband pancakes for breakfast, you see, and I thought it would be funny to replace the syrup with a cup of—." She didn't know how to say the next part, but her doctor seemed very interested indeed.

"She replaced it with a cup of Danny's pee!" the husband nearly shouted. He was rather angry with the joke.

House's jaw dropped (he only assumed that Danny was the baby in the mother's arms). He wasn't sure which of his many questions to ask first, but the woman decided to continue on without waiting for House's response.

"We just wanted to make sure that George would be okay," she said meekly. "I never meant for him to actually… eat the urine… I thought he'd notice."

House shrugged his head jokingly. That was indeed an interesting question. "You didn't notice that it wasn't syrup?"

"How was I supposed to?!" shouted the George. "It was in the syrup container, and it smelled like syrup!"

The wife rolled her eyes.

House was interested now. "Your baby's urine… smelled like syrup?"

"Maple syrup," said George quickly. "Yeah, why?"

House sighed. "The good news is that you're going to be fine. Urine's sterile."

George and his wife looked at each other wearily.

"What's the bad news?" asked the wife.

"The bad news is that your baby has MSUD."

"What's that?" George asked, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Maple Syrup Urine Disease," said House.

Everyone in the room stared at House like he was crazy, even the baby (is that possible?).

House sighed. He didn't feel the want or need to continue his conversation with this not-so-happy family, so he just walked out of the exam room and called for a nurse. Needless to say, Nurse Katie was quickly at his side.

"Yes, Dr. House?" she grinned.

"Get their baby admitted," said House. "He has MSUD."

Katie nodded and attended to the family as House took another lick from his delicious cherry lollypop. It was times like these that he thanked the lord that Cuddy set money aside for candy.