This story is dedicated to all those Artemis/Jarlaxle fans that believe RAS really screwed up in the end of RotP. This does have major spoilers, so beware. This story was written for my own sanity, for I believe whole-heartedly that this scene or one very similar has indeed occured, we just don't know it yet.
A Lesson in Friendship
All recognizable characters belong to RAS the world belongs to WotC. I do not plan any infringement on their property. I only use the below items for entertainment and my own peace of mind.
The setting sun sank toward the sand of the desert, painting a beautiful scene of colors. The natural beauty could barely be seen in the close cluster of buildings. It mattered little for the person sitting on a worn bench outside a busy tavern, he cared less about the majesty the deepening of twilight brought.
The figure sat leaning forward, elbows on his knees, eyes downcast to the scuffed tips of his boots. He ran an absent hand through shaggy hair. A few months ago his hair would have been shorn close, his half beard immaculately trimmed , but since his return home he had found little reason for anything other than rudimentary grooming.
Anyone entering "The Copper Ante" would recognize the figure outside the tavern. He had been sitting there almost everyday for two months. The figure never spoke nor looked at anyone. Some days he would wonder the streets aimlessly only to find himself in his customary place outside the halfling owned tavern.
Whispers and rumors abounded throughout the desert city about the figure. What could have happened to the world's finest and deadliest assassin to bring him so low? Some rumors speculated he had fallen in love with a far off princess only to be spurned by her, forced to kill her for her actions he had returned home. Others said it wasn't the princess that spurned him but her kingly father that refused his only daughter to be married to an assassin. More rumors circulated that he had finally found an opponent he could not kill and it had broken him. Some rumors were wild tales others were almost believable. But none were true or even came close to the truth, and none mattered at all to Artemis as he sat outside the tavern day in and day out.
The cities assassins thought to take advantage of the state of the ex-killer to quickly make their reputation in one quick kill, especially the younger up-and-comers. It didn't take very long for them to find out, even though he appeared lost, Artemis was still one of the best with sword and dagger the realms had ever seen. One look from those cold grey eyes and most would-be assassins quelled and slunk off, back to whatever hole they had crawled from.
The sound of hard boot heels and clanking jewelry came to Artemis' ears, his stomach clenched with the sound. He knew those sounds so well. He never wanted to hear them again.
From the corner of his eye Artemis saw a colorful figure sit down beside him on the worn bench.
"Go away." Artemis said to the figure without looking.
"So friendly, I see very little has changed with you my friend." The elven figure stated.
"I said go away. Why can't you do one simple thing and just disappear?" Artemis asked glancing to his left at the elf.
Jarlaxle still wore Agatha's mask, pale skin, flowing yellow hair, topped in the drow's typical hideous fashion sense. Not for the first time the ex-assassin thought this dark elf was a nightmare walking no matter what form he took.
"Disappear? Now where would the fun be in that?" Jarlaxle asked crossing one leg and leaning against the side of the tavern.
"Go away."
"Why should I? If you can give me one good reason why I should 'go away' I might just do it."
"Because I told you to. Why would you need another reason to leave other than someone wants you gone from their presence?"
"That's not a real reason."
"What? Not a real reason. Can you be serious? Oh wait I forgot who I was talking to, you're never serious. Now go away"
"If I understand how things work here on the surface, this is a public street. Henceforth I have every right to sit here if I choose to." Standing up and looking about as if trying to find something he had misplaced, not finding anything Jarlaxle retook his seat. "I do not see anyone's name here about, so yes this must be a public area, in which case I am free to loiter here as much as I want. Very similar to what I see you doing." The dark elf tapped slender pale fingers against his knee, waiting for a response from his companion.
"What do you want?" The human asked gruffly.
"To inquire about your health, talk about the weather, things of that nature."
"You want to inquire after my health? Why?" A note of exasperation had entered the Calashite's tone, as it usually did when he was forced to deal with the eccentric drow.
"Yes of course. Isn't that what friends do, inquire after one another's health and chit chat about mundane things like the weather?" Jarlaxle asked waving a be-ringed hand around the dusty street.
"Oh gods above, I've sunk lower than bog slime to be receiving a lesson in friendship from a drow." The human said exasperated. "Go away. I'm tired of your insanity. If you were truly my friend you would be gone and just leave me be." Artemis replied anger starting to slip into his voice.
"No." Was the simple reply he received.
"No? Why? It's not that hard, you just get up and walk back down that street you just came by, making as much or as little noise as you want."
Jarlaxle sat quietly and stared at the human beside him, seeing the shaggy hair, the rumpled clothing, never did he want this for his one and only friend. He had tried so hard to fix things, only to make a bigger mess than he had began with. He made a decision, one he wished he wouldn't regret.
"I can't. I walked away from someone once, I will never do it again."
Artemis was so taken aback by the serious tone of the elf beside him. He didn't know what to say. Never had Jarlaxle spoken so plainly to him.
"You see my khal abbil, I cannot walk away. It is not that I will not it is that I cannot." Jarlaxle clenched his teeth as he spoke to Artemis. It was against his very nature to be so forth coming and honest. At this point he realized it might be the only way to help his true friend through this situation that was partly his fault.
Artemis let those words sink in. What did they mean? Jarlaxle was forever manipulating and twisting words until they meant only what he wanted them to. Surely he wouldn't actually be honest for once. No, Artemis thought, that would never happen. The drow was just being his typical, nosey manipulating self.
"You're still sitting here. I thought I had made it clear I wanted you gone." Artemis' voice began to rise as he continued. "How much more do I need to do before you understand that I want you away from me? As far away from me as you can be. Do I have to kill you for you to understand how much I loathe you?"
Jarlaxle sat and listened calmly, "Do you truly think you can kill me, even if you wanted to? I admit you are one of the finest assassins and warriors it has ever been my pleasure to witness. Even among my own people there are very few your equal. But kill me my friend, I think that would be far harder than you could imagine." Although he said those words with the utmost confidence, Jarlaxle thought if Artemis really wanted him dead, he would more then likely be so.
Looking at the dangerous elf Artemis wondered exactly what this drow was capable of. He had seen him do things he thought noone could accomplish, he hid more things than most people ever knew possible. Everything was a game with Jarlaxle, that was the problem.
"I refuse to be your toy any longer. I am not here for your entertainment. Now go away."
"I admit, even though my intentions were well placed, my actions may have been just a bit heavy handed. I never used you in a harmful way, you must admit that."
He couldn't believe this. "You never used me in a harmful way? What kind of rothe' dung is that? I was chased by a lich, fried by a dragon, imprisoned by a king, attacked by a castle and its minions, I had an entire assassins guild out to kill me, and you have the gall to sit there and say you never used me in a harmful way. I can't believe I'm still sitting here listening to this."
"It is true, I had the best of intentions. And the assassins guild and imprisonment by Gareth were your doing, not mine. I provided a way out and you my abbil refused to take it. How can I be held responsible for that?" Jarlaxle replied looking around the deepening darkness.
"Oh yes I forgot. You provided a way out into the Underdark. How could I have forgotten that? Where I would more than likely ended up imprisoned by you like I did before. No thank you, imprisonment by Gareth and his lackeys was preferable to what you offered."
"Imprisoned? I do not recall ever putting you in chains or any dungeon. I do recall saving your life on the side of a desolate mountain, and taking you to a place you could heal and recuperate."
"That's just it with you, everything in the entire universe bends to your view. It doesn't you know. Just because the Great Jarlaxle says the sky is green doesn't make it so. Just because you say you're my friend doesn't mean it's true. You still used me, you did everything in your power to manipulate, humiliate, and down right control me. You do not do friends that way." Artemis practically screamed those words at the drow. It was the entire crux of what was wrong with everything he had went through with Jarlaxle.
At that very instant Jarlaxle, one of the most influential and powerful males in Menzoberranzen other than the Arch Wizard himself, experienced a horrid sense of deja vu'. Many years ago he had heard almost the exact same words from someone else. Someone just as lost and forlorn as the ex-assassin beside him. Had he really made such a mess of things? He had sworn then that if he were ever to find a true friend he would never make the same mistakes again. Yet here he sat having such a similar conversation that it was eery. Perhaps he had been wrong in everything. The mere thought made Jarlaxle mentally stagger. If he had been wrong in this matter of such importance how many small things had he been wrong about in his life time.
"I'm sorry. I truly did have the best of intentions. I admit I am not the best one to be giving lessons in the art of friendship, but at least I try. Have you ever tried to befriend anyone? No I would guess. The Great Artemis has no need of friends. What then does he need? Or is that it, even he doesn't know." The words were spoken solemnly.
Those words in that tone coming from this particular drow was almost like a slap in the face to Artemis. If he were lost the only one that could find him would be himself. Perhaps he wasn't as lost as he thought if friends like Jarlaxle and Dwahvel could still find him in the turmoil that had been his world for months now.
"My health is fine. It's hot, we're in Calimport, what else would it be." He said blandly.
Smiling broadly Jarlaxle knew his apology had been accepted and one offered in return. "Now it is your turn to inquire after my health."
Looking darkly at the disguised elf Artemis replied. "Don't push it. You're lucky you still have health to inquire after."
Chuckling Jarlaxle decided it was truly time to take his leave. Standing he tipped his great purple hat to his true friend and retreated down the dark street, heels and jewelry clicking and clacking away loudly.
Shaking his head while thinking to himself, what did I ever do to deserve such a friend as that? For the first time Artemis thought maybe he was more of a friend than I truly deserve.
Standing and entering the tavern, where he was greeted by a pretty smiling halfling at the bar. Yes maybe he did have more than he deserved, but he swore in that minute as he made his way to the bar that he would never dismiss his two friends so lightly again.