Brian's Play: An Alternate Universe Retelling
by LDEJRuff
Chapter 1 - Opening Night
Our story begins in the rewritten universe Bertram made. But enough about him. Let's talk about the story. We actually begin in the exterior of the Quahog Playhouse. Brian, who was one of Leo's dogs at the time in this universe, was presenting the play he had just written, A Passing Fancy. Before he could submit the play, his friend, Vinny, proofread it so that he wouldn't commit plagiarism.
Anyway, getting back to the story, it was opening night for A Passing Fancy. Brian's original family, the Griffins, and their current dog, New Brian, were all dressed up for the event.
"Wow," Meg began, "I'm so excited for Brian."
"Remember, kids," Lois reminded Meg and Chris, "if it's terrible, at the end, we all say, 'You did it'."
She was carrying Stewie.
"I can't believe we're going to the theater the same day Chris drowned a mouse in a puddle," Stewie regarded. "I mean, don't we need a day to clear our heads?"
"I know what can clear my head, Stewie," New Brian replied. "A cool refreshing drink of water to get rid of the dehydration."
Cutaway: We see New Brian in the living room drinking a glass of water, and putting the glass on top of a coaster on the lamp post.
"Ah," he whispered, "there's nothing like a drink of water after feeling dehydrated."
Back to the family. Stewie regarded New Brian with a raised eyebrow.
"Wow," Stewie said. "You really do suck at cutaways, don't you?"
New Brian chuckled. "I'll get better, Stewie."
"Wow, what a turnout," Lois said, looking at the crowd ahead of the family, anxious to see A Passing Fancy. Then, she noticed, "Oh, hey, there's Glenn!"
Glenn Quagmire was all ready to see Brian's play, and the Hispanic maid, Consuela, was with him. As always, New Brian regarded Glenn.
"Hey, guys," Glenn greeted. "Hey, this is my date, Consuela."
"No, no, no," Consuela replied.
"Okay, we're here as friends," Glenn corrected, "but I'm gonna change your mind one day."
Outside the crowd, the Griffins' elderly perverted neighbor, Mr. John Herbert, was aided by a few young boys who pulled his vehicle and were running out of breath. One of the boys, a blonde-haired boy named Spencer, was still kicking.
"Whoa, easy there, Spencer," Mr. Herbert calmed, giving him a sugar cube. "Now behave yourself, and there will be a withered carrot for you later."
The Griffins got inside the playhouse after showing their tickets to the box office.
"Oh, I'm so proud of Brian," Lois began. "It's hard to believe he's the same dog who barked at a pineapple for four hours."
Stewie peered at his mother's purse.
"Close your purse, I can see your tampons," he said. "And why do you need six? What happens to you?"
The play's author, the family's former dog, Brian, approached them.
"Hey, Brian," New Brian greeted. "It's good to see you again. You know, I'm always looking for new material for some songs I'm writing, and this play of yours may inspire me."
"Hey, New Brian," Brian greeted back. "Hey, guys," he continued, greeting the rest of the family. "Thanks for coming."
"Big night, Brian," Lois replied. "How you feeling?"
"Well, a little nervous," Brian answered. "I just want it to go well. Fingers crossed."
"Will there be an intermission?" Peter asked. "Because that will determine whether or not I bring this empty Gatorade bottle into the theater."
"I'm glad you guys could come," Brian replied. "It's been a while since I've seen my former family. I just got to make sure my current family is doing okay. They just came in here a few minutes ago, and I believe they're on the balcony. I'll have you guys meet 'em some time."
With that, he walked away as the lights were starting to dim. The family then took notice.
"Oh, the play's about to start," Lois said before the family was about to go into the theater.
"Mom," Chris began, "am I going to fit in the seat or is this going to be like last time?"
"Oh, boy," Stewie sighed. "Chris is about to set up another cutaway. We can just ignore it and just enjoy the play."
Up on the balcony, Brian's current owner, Leo, and Vinny were sitting in front. They, too, were dressed up to see the play, and noticed Brian coming up.
"Hey, Brian," Vinny greeted.
"Hey, guys," Brian greeted back. "And Vinny, thanks again for proofreading the play for me. If it weren't for you, this opening night never would have been."
"Sure," Vinny replied.
The Griffins have taken their seats. Stewie and New Brian were looking at their programs.
"Let's see," Stewie sighed, "who's in this thing? Sad...Nobody...Sad...Sad...Nobody...Victor Garber?" He was pretty impressed. "That's pretty good. How did he get Victor...?" He then noticed a piece of paper falling out of his program as he turned the page. "Oh, of course," he continued, reading the paper. "Tonight, it's Randall Even Battencourt."
"Randall Even Battencourt?" New Brian repeated. "The understudy actor who sounds very much like me?"
"Yep," Stewie answered.
"Boy," New Brian whispered, "that writer actor of mine sure has a way with talent. He has good vocal range."
Cutaway: In a bit of live action footage, we see Family Guy writer and actor John Viener, who voices New Brian, typing on a laptop, and viewing the camera.
"Hey, New Brian," John began, "thanks for the compliment. I appreciate it."
Note from the Author: Hey, LDE here. This fanfic is sort of like a side story to the Brian and Vinny fanfic series, and it takes place between the time gap of Stewie's story in The Orb of Time - Part II: Remember. I hope you like it.