Glory: Hello all! This little song fic was inspired by Fall Out Boy's song, My Heart is the Worst Kind of Weapon. Yeah FOB!! I'm a HUGE SanoxMeg fan, but this is one story featuring Aoshi. Ooooh....read on :) Whatever is in quotes and is in italics, those are the lyrics.
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of the characters. The lyrics to "My Heart is the Worst Kind of Weapon" are copyright to Fall Out Boy 3333
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I don't know what I was doing here again. I swore not to come around anymore. Not to her of course, but to myself. I knew if I were to see her with that, that bum, I'd tear myself apart. I couldn't help it though, I had never felt this way about someone before. She was important to me, but with her out of my life, I felt as though part of me left with her. It has made things easier. I'm not bound to her, not at all. So why am I so upset? That mistake, the mistake of trying to steal her away when I knew her heart belonged to someone else, killed me. Why did I assume that there was a connection? It's her loss really, not mine. She chose him over me, he can't keep her safe. It's not my fault.
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A month ago, I found myself hanging around the Kamiya Dojo. I had been spending time conversing with Kenshin, trading news with him, hoping that he had found information on Misao. The girl had run off, and I felt that I was to find her. I never did look for her; she ended up coming back to Kyoto a few months later. She claimed she needed time away, to breathe. I shrugged my shoulders, not truly caring what she had to say. As I stayed at the Dojo, I observed Sanosuke and Megumi and their insane relationship. They bickered, fought, argued, but always ended up in each other's arms, giggling. Kenshin once noticed me staring. "They've been like that for a while. It's surprising, that it is." he said smiling. I nodded and realized that she was gone. I had lost my chance with Megumi. Reflecting on this, it just makes my blood boil. I have never felt jealousy like this before. I convinced myself that Sanosuke would never give her what she needed in life. I felt such anger towards the doctor, but the other half of my heart told me not to think that way."he is salt and you are the wound empty another bottle and let me tear you to pieces this is me wishing you into the worst situations"One day when I had come to the Dojo with a wound on my arm, Megumi was wandering the hallways with Kaoru following her softly. I was hoping that the doctor could help me tend to the cut, but she seemed preoccupied. Her red lips stuck out violently on her unnaturally pale face. I had never seen her look so afraid. Megumi is the type of person who shows no fear, who shuts out the world in order to stay strong. I saw the pair stop and my eyes followed Kaoru as she wandered into another room. They then moved hungrily to Megumi, who was leaning against the doorpost of the room Kaoru had walked into. I stood and walked towards Megumi, my eyes smiling instead of my mouth. "Megumi-dono, would it be alright of you took a look at this?" I asked plainly as I rolled up the sleeve to my dark shirt. Wiping a small amount of moisture from her left eye she smiled and nodded. "Of course, follow me." I did happily. She bandaged the gash on my arm and rubbed some sort of ointment on it. I thanked her, and she smiled sadly. If she left Sanosuke, she would never cry like that again. She passed me up, and she should regret that decision."I'm the kind of kid that can't let anything go but you wouldn't know a good thing if it came up and slit your throat"When I asked why she was upset, she shook her head, telling me it wasn't important, that she wasn't sad. I told her that she couldn't lie to me, I could see through it. "Sanosuke left this morning, and the only thing we found was a note from the police. Something has happened and I can't do anything. I feel useless." I nodded slowly, trying to show that I cared, but it finally hit me. This was my chance to prove to this woman my feelings for her. I inched closer and placed my arm around her, reassuring her that everything would work out. She looked at me, bewildered. I couldn't blame her though, I did not know what I was doing either. We walked outside, and all I did was push myself towards her. What a fool I was."your remorse hasn't fallen on deaf ears rather ones that just don't care cause I know that you're in between arms somewhere next to heartbeats where you shouldn't be asleep"In the following weeks, Sanosuke hadn't returned. I came around every day, either to the Kamiya Dojo or to the clinic to visit Megumi. She welcomed me, but it took me a long time to realize that she only welcomed me as a friend. She allowed me to kiss her, to hold her. Days after our first kiss, Sanosuke had returned, but I never knew. I still came around to visit her, and she welcomed me as though he hadn't come back. It was only when I walked in on her in Sanosuke's arms that I knew he had returned home."now I'll teach you a lesson for keeping secrets from me"I let out a small cough, and when Megumi's eyes caught sight of me, she slowly pushed away from Sanosuke and quickened her pace as she met up with me. "I wasn't expecting you today, Aoshi." I scowled, allowing an emotion to appear on my blank face. "I've been coming everyday. You never told me he was here, you told me that you cared for me," I whispered harshly pulling her out of the room by her wrist. She recoiled and growled angrily. "Aoshi, you are a dear friend. I'm not bound to you." she said. I scoffed, "Why would you let me kiss you?" She was speechless. She knew what she did was wrong. I was half expecting her to run into my own arms and apologize but she shook her head. "You know better than to use me when I am upset, Aoshi. You knew Sanosuke would come back." Accusations. All of them; accusations. "I know what I did was wrong, but you should not have taken it so seriously." I grabbed her hands, ignoring the fact that she was trying to pull away, and the fact that Sanosuke was approaching. "Never keep secrets from me, Megumi-dono. Never lead me on like that. You are nothing." I threw her hands down and haughtily walked away from the clinic, away from Megumi.
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But I found myself coming to the clinic again. I found myself peering through one of the windows, watching Megumi and Sanosuke together. He had what I craved, what I wanted. She could have pushed him aside, but she went back to him. Was I naive to think that she'd stay with me? I tell myself that the idea is wrong. I keep convincing myself that she doesn't want Sanosuke. I watch as he leads her into another room. My eyes harden as she spots me watching through the window. Her hand falls from Sano's as she freezes in her place, eyes burning into mine. "You lost it," I say to myself. "Take back what you gave me." I yell, hoping she can read my lips through the glass. "I hope you're happy," I say, before disappearing into the darkness. "You are nothing to me," I say aloud, as if it would comfort me. For the first time, I had fallen. I need to forget her, I need to erase her."take your taste back peel back your skin and try to forget how it feels inside you should try saying no once in a while oh once in while"