Blanket Disclaimer: I don't own Raph, his brothers, their allies, or anything else to do with the TMNT. All rights to Nickelodeon and Viacom.

Quick Note: This was just an idea I had after reading a little bit of TheIncredibleDancingBetty 's "Expecting." If you guys want to ask Raph something about one of the missions he's been on - or situations he's been in - or anything, just leave it in a review! I figured that-

Hey! I thought I said that I was takin' over?

Umm...you did. I was just finishing up with my-

So finish up and scram. This is my story.

Sigh. You heard the man - er, turtle. I guess I'm done here. Carry on, Raph.

Thank you. Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. Intros.

Well, the name's Hamato Raphael. I live in the New York sewers with my three bros and our Sensei. My bros and I are all nineteen - It's hard ta tell, really, considerin' the fact that we were mutated and we don't know when our actual birthdays are. We just kinda guess. But we celebrate our mutation day on September 27th every year - and Mike insists on callin' it our birthday. I figure, why the shell not?

You may have realized that it's September 29th. Yeah, our mutation day was a few days ago. I think that-

What, now ya wanna know how the celebration went? What are ya, some kinda stalker or somethin'? Ya gonna murder us in our sleep?

I know, I know, I'm just messin' with ya. Leo rags on me all the time about bein' paranoid. I'm not, though. He's just got his head up his shell too much ta notice.

What? Oh, yeah. Mutation day. Well, lemme tell ya 'bout it. The day started out with Fearless gettin' on my case about bein' late for trainin'. Ya didn't think that Splintah went easy on us just because it was our mutation day, didja?

So anyway, after Fearless ranted fer about half an hour about me needin' ta get my sorry shell outta bed sooner, I did some trainin' and went ta eat. But guess what was goin' on in the kitchen? Mikey - the little sneak - ate all of my favorite cereal. The entire freakin' box of it!

And when I pounded him fer it, guess who jumped in ta 'save' his sorry shell? If ya said Fearless, you'd be right. Let's just say that my confrontations with Fearless never end well. He ratted me out ta Master Splintah, who threatened ta ground me fer the next week - and on my mutation day, no less!

Hah. Like that'd ever happen. I went up top ta blow off some steam. Unfortunately, that didn't exactly go as planned...

TMNT/TMNT/TMNT

The cool morning air blows across my face, and my mask tails snap in the wind. We ain't really supposed to be up on the surface during daylight hours, but it ain't like anyone's gonna see me up on the rooftops. Right?

Nah. Can't be that simple.

The bolas come out of nowhere, snagging around my wrists and ankles and sending me to the ground. My jaw makes a hard impact with the gravel roof, and pain shoots up through my chin. I can taste the coppery tang of blood in my mouth.

"What the shell?!"

A leather boot steps into my field of vision. I follow the path up the shapely leg and torso, all the way to the owner's face. Karai smirks at me. "Hello, Raphael."

Shell. "What's up, Karai? This ain't yer usual style." I gesture with my head to her boots and black cat-suit, all the while trying to reach the throwing knife I have hidden under my wrist wrappings. If I can just-

The kunoichi snorts. "And I suppose that the bola style is working so well for you?"

Normally her comment wouldn't have ticked me off. But helpless as I am, that sarcastic reply gets under my skin and lights a fire in my eyes. "Ya better consider yaself lucky that I'm tied up, ya little-"

My only reward is a foot to the mouth. The blow sends more pain into my already aching head. "You will remain tied up," she hisses. "Do you know why?"

I won't give this smug little witch the satisfaction of a reply. Karai narrows her eyes, but she bends down next to me and tells me anyway.

"Because, Raphael, you are going to be a gift from me to my dear father. With you in my possession, I will bargain for the freedom to pursue Leonardo as I wish."

I'm gonna be used as a bargaining chip fer my stuck-up older bro? Aw, shell nah. This turtle ain't no liability. And I certainly ain't gonna be a trade-off fer Splintah Jr.

"Look, Karai. Ya must've taken one too many blows ta the head. There ain't no way on Earth Leo and the others are gonna fall for yer trap. And I ain't gonna let ya use me like that."

Chuckling is a mistake in two ways. First, it makes my head spin. And second of all, Karai just grins at me in return - which is creepy as all get out.

"I'm afraid you have no choice."

I can't see what she's doin', but a second later I feel a pinch in my left thigh. Almost immediately, a fire starts burning through my veins. A scream tears from my mouth.

Oh, Kraang. I just want it ta stop. Pure agony is shooting through my body like electricity, rolling in waves. Eventually, Karai has enough of my pain filled screams, and she starts dragging me across the rooftop like a sack of potatoes. I'm aware of the gravel digging into my bare skin painfully, embedding itself.

Then she plants a roundhouse kick in the back of my head, and I'm aware of nothin' at all.

Happy birthday ta me.

TMNT/TMNT/TMNT

Wait. You're just gonna leave off there?

Well why not?

Because they'll want to find out more about what happened.

Look, if they wanna know more about what happened ta me, they're gonna hafta tell me. You. Us.

But-

Yer the one that said ta leave it in a review, ain't ya?

...Yes.

So stick ta it.

You heard the turtle, I guess. You guys will have to leave a review if you want to know more. Although that's a bad way to do it, Raph.

I just wanna know if they're interested in what happened or not.

But you can't blackmail the readers.

Pfft. *looks right at the readers* You guys wanna know more, leave a comment or review. Question? Leave it in a review. Anything else? Leave a review. Raphael out.

...Um...I guess we're done here, then? Raph? Aaaand he's gone.

Well then, until next time...COWABUNGA!