A/N: So, miladyRanger and I bingewatched The Cottage Surrounded by Zombies and then The Great Detective's Weakness, and I was unprepared to have feelings about Kogoro. So, here, you can have them too.
This is a dialogue-only missing scene fic, set at the same time that Heiji and Kazuha are having their not-a-couple fight on Heiji's motorcycle at the end of episode 832. If you can't tell who's talking when, then I haven't done my job well enough.
Episode Tag: A Cottage Surrounded By Zombies
"Th' zombies…"
"They're just people in costumes, Kogoro-oji-san. We solved the murder, and the fake zombies are gone. Everything's okay now. You can rest."
"I'm restin' already…"
"Well, rest more, then. And...sorry we left you alone so much, earlier, when you weren't feeling good."
"Better be." A gasping breath. "So mean."
"Yeah, it was."
"...Brat?"
"You got poisoned and no one even made a fuss. It wasn't right."
A dismissive huff.
"I at least should've known better. I know how it feels."
"Wha…"
"Don't worry about it, you probably won't even remember this conversation tomorrow."
"Will too."
"Whatever you say. But...even if no one made you eat that stupid mushroom, it still sucks, right?"
A hum of agreement.
"Well, you're going to be all better in a day or so, you lucky old man. So rest up for now, and stop worrying Ran."
"Said I was restin'."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ran's trying to get you a ride to the hospital in a cop car. If you can summon the energy, pray she doesn't. I don't trust Inspector Yamamura's driving."
"I do."
"You would."
"Brat."
"If you're insulting me, you're not sleeping." A sigh. "Get some rest."