Subject: (no subject)
Date: Fri, 04 May 2001 09:31:43 -0400
From: Dawn dawnh@gscyclone.com
To: dawnh@gscyclone.com
Title: Obi, Qui, and Sad Puppy Eyes
Author: OceanGrl
Rating: G
Summery: This started as a humor story inspired by 'Of Wisdom Teeth and
Obi-Wan' by Obi the Kid (LOVE your stuff!) and a similar experience but I
truly don't know what it is now. I will give you a better excuse as soon as
I think of one that doesn't include Novocain and pain killers.
Disclaimer: I am not the master mind that came up with Star Wars, I'm just
an over-active imagination. I do own Shia, Healer Paige, and I think that's
all.
___________________________________________________________________________
Obi: Master, I'm home!
Qui: Padawan, must you yell every time you enter a room?
Obi: Yes.
Qui: Why?
Obi: So people know I'm here and besides, it ticks you off.
Qui: I'm sure no one cares when you enter a room. But since you are here, I
have a job for you.
Obi: I should have kept my mouth shut.
Qui: Like so many other times. I need you to clean your room and move your
clothes and whatever else you need for two weeks into my room.
Obi: I'm afraid to ask, but why?
Qui: Do you remember Padawan Shia?
Obi: Uh-oh. Yes?
Qui: She just had two of her wisdom teeth pulled and her master left on a
mission this morning.
Obi: Uh-oh. So?
Qui: So she will be our guest for the next two weeks.
Obi: Uh-oh. Another guest?
Qui: Please stop saying that Obi-Wan. Yes, another guest. And one who's just
had her wisdom teeth pulled, no less. I appear to be very busy the next few
weeks so, in addition to giving her your room, she will be your
responsibility. I've all ready told Shia, she seems to like the idea.
Obi: Why must you torment me?
Qui: Because it's fun. Now go clean your room. We have to pick Shia up in
fifteen minutes.
(Obi-Wan sulks to his room, muttering about taking the welcome sign off
there door and stuffing in his masters big mouth.)
_________________________________________________________________________
(Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon have reached the med bay and have been directed to
the room that holds 16 year old Shia)
Obi: Master, it looks like she is asleep.
Qui: She won't be for long. Come on Shia, wake up time! (Qui, claps his
hands in front of Shia's face)
Obi: I'm glad to see it's all the padawans you are curl to, not just me.
(Obi-Wan walks to Shia and shakes her shoulder) Wakey wakey, eggs and bacey!
(Shia quickly rolls over and backhands Obi)
Shia: o way
Obi: What'd she say? I can't understand her with all that gauze stuffed in
her mouth.
Qui: The gauze will come out tomorrow. Then she will probably be able to
talk as much as she wants.
Obi: Oh. Master? Do we have to take the gauze out?
(Shia glares at him through half opened eyes and makes a feeble attempt
to swat him again)
Qui: (catches her hand) That's enough padawans. Shia? Can you walk?
Shia: (nods miserably) bu i urts
Obi: Duh.
Qui: Shut it Obi-Wan. Come on Shia. (helps Shia up and out of the room) Get
her bag, padawan.
Obi: Fine. You help her up. I get her bag.
Qui: Shia, are you hungry?
Shia: a itle
Qui: We'll get you some ice cream on the way back, okay?
Obi: Can I have some?
Qui: No Obi, it's not good for you.
Obi: It's not good for Shia either.
Qui: You didn't just have your wisdom teeth pulled.
Obi: You still wouldn't let me.
Qui: Your right, I wouldn't. And stop whining padawan, it's one thing to
whine in front of me, but there is another padawan with us.
Obi: You like her better then me.
Qui: Now Shia, you will be staying in Obi-Wan's room- don't worry, I made
him clean it up first.
Shia: fank oo i on
Qui: Your welcome.
Obi: Him? You should thank me! It's my room!
Shia: (starts to say something, glances at Qui-Gon and continues) fank oo oe
on.
(Qui-Gon smiles at her and turns to Obi-Wan)
Obi: (mumbles) Your welcome, Shia.
_________________________________________________________________________
Later That Night
(Qui and Obi are sitting at the table. Obi is attempting to choke down a
meal cooked by his master. Shia has retired to Obi's room, saying she was
'ired' and was going to rest.)
Qui: Obi, I have plans tonight so you and Shia will be on your own.
Obi: No master, please don't leave me with her!
Qui: I don't see why you dislike her so much. She is very sweet.
Obi: So is a baby rancor.
Qui: Obi-Wan, I would hardly compare Shia to a rancor. I have to leave now.
Don't forget, when your done eating, wake Shia and help her change the gauze
pads in her mouth.
Obi: Appearances can be deceiving master! (door slams shut behind Qui-Gon)
(Shia appears in the doorway)
Shia: uts oing on?
Obi: Masters gone so I have to take care of you.
Shia: (glares at Obi-Wan) I ont eed a aby itter.
Obi: I have no intention of becoming your baby sitter Shia, believe me.
Shia: I ungy
Obi: Too bad. Unless you want to eat masters cooking your just going to have
to be hungry,
(Shia whimpers)
Obi: Don't wanna hear it, don't wanna hear it, don't wanna hear it!
(Shia's lower lip quivers and tears fill her eyes. Obi has his hands
over his ears and is humming loudly. He glances up. Big mistake. Shia's
pitiful no-one-cares-about-me sad puppy face kills all of his defiant
spirit.)
Obi: (wearily) What do you want?
Shia: ice eam
Obi: You just had ice cream this afternoon and- (looks at Shia) what kind?
Shia: oclate
Obi: Right. Chocolate. I'll go get some. After you change the gauze pads in
your mouth.
Shia: (backs up a few steps shaking her head) urts
Obi: I know it hurts but wearing bloody gauze will not make it better. Now
come here, I'll help.
(After some struggling and a black eye for Obi, the gauze is changed and
Obi is out on a quest for chocolate ice cream. First he tries the temple
cafeteria.)
Obi: One canister of chocolate ice cream please.
(The server starts to comply but then stops and takes a closer look at
Obi-Wan)
Server: Sorry Obi, your master cut you off. Were not suppose to let you have
any ice cream in any form.
Obi: (shakes his head in disbelief) But it's not even for me! It's for this
girl that just had her wisdom teeth pulled and-
Server: Sorry Obi. There's nothing I can do.
(Obi stalks disgustedly out of the cafeteria and gets halfway back
before realizing that he better not come back without any ice cream. He
would just get one of Shia's looks and end up coming back out again. Obi-Wan
leaves the temple and walks down the street to the nearest ice cream
parlor.)
Obi: A canister of chocolate ice cream, please.
Cashier: Were out.
Obi: Excuse me?
Server: I said were out. Try down the street.
(Obi leaves and walks until he comes to the next ice cream shop.
Obi: A canister of chocolate ice cream. Please.
Cashier: Our ice cream maker is broken.
Obi: Your kidding.
Cashier: Sorry. I think there's another shop a few blocks away.
(Obi-Wan throws his hands in the air and starts walking, resigning
himself to a long night.)
Obi: (looking desperate) Do you have any chocolate ice cream?
Cashier: Yes.
Obi: Can I please buy some?
(The cashier hands Obi-Wan the canister and Obi pays for it.)
Obi: Thank you. You don't know haw happy you've made me.
(Leaves store and a very confused, slightly frightened cashier and heads
back home.)
_________________________________________________________________________
(Obi arrives home to find Shia asleep on the couch, being fussed over by
Qui-Gon and Healer Paige.)
Qui: (speaking as sharply as possible without disturbing Shia) Obi-Wan, how
could you leave Shia alone like this? It was very irresponsible of you. And
I thought I cut you off from ice cream!
Obi: You did master. That's why I had to travel halfway around the stinken
planet to get a stinken can of stinken chocolate ice cream that Shia had to
have. (continues in a disbelieving, slightly insane tone) And now she's
asleep. So she can't have it anyway.
(Healer Paige, who was stroking Shia's blond hair and softly singing to
her, looks up.)
Paige: Then she'll have to have it in the morning. But you can't blame her
for falling asleep, after what she's been through.
Obi: (under his breath) You wanna bet?
(Qui-Gon elbows Obi in the ribs.)
Qui: (reluctantly) She should sleep in a bed tonight.
Paige: Qui, lets not wake her. She's so peaceful.
Qui: Your right. Obi-Wan, carry Shia into her room and put her to bed.
Obi: Do I have to? I'm fine with the idea of waking her.
Qui: Obi-Wan-
Obi: Okay, okay, I'll do it.
(Obi-Wan reluctantly picks up a still asleep Shia, handling her
carefully. The last thing he wants is to wake her up.)
Obi: Baby rancor master. Baby rancor.
_________________________________________________________________________
(Obi-Wan is attempting to fall asleep on Qui-Gon's floor)
Obi: (whining) Masterrrr. Why couldn't you have a softer floor?
Qui: Because I'm mean. Now go to sleep.
Obi: (still whining) I've been trying.
Qui: There is no try padawan, and stop whining.
Obi: Why, your precious Shia isn't around to hear. You know, I think there's
a rule against liking another padawan better then your own.
Qui: At least she doesn't get sick when she's in pain. Now go to sleep, I
don't want to hear another word out of you.
Obi: Yes master.
(Obi-Wan flops over on his stomach and after awhile, starts to drift
off.)
Shia: Oe an? Oe! I irsy.
(Obi-Wan pulls the covers over his head.)
Qui: Padawan, your responsibility is calling.
(Obi pitifully drags himself up and enters what used to be his room.)
Obi: What do you want?
Shia: I irsy.
Obi: Your what?
Shia: irsy!
(Obi's sleepy brain starts to kick in.)
Obi: Oh, your thirsty. (thinks) Well, you can't drink with your mouth full
of gauze and you can't put the same gauze in after you take it out.
(Obi looks at Shia. Shia looks at Obi. Obi goes to the kitchen, gets a
cup of juice and comes back. He manages to change the gauze pads unscathed.)
Sleepy Shia: ant ain iller
(Obi goes to the kitchen to get Shia's prescribed pain killer and helps
her down it.)
Sleepy somewhat-out-of-it-Shia: fank oo Oe. uo ice o ee. I ucky ou ave oo.
(Obi thinks a moment, then realizes she said, 'Thank you Obi. Your nice
to me. I'm lucky to have you.)
Shia: I o ery ucky. (I'm so very lucky.)
Obi: Shia, your so heavily medicated. Now go to sleep.
Shia: ay
(Obi leaves room and tries to go to sleep. Just when he's about to...)
Shia: Oe!
(Obi-Wan gets up and once again goes to Shia.)
Obi: What?
Shia: ant eep. say wi ee unil i eep?
Obi: But where would I sit?
Shia: foor
Obi: (mumbles) Qui-Gon's floor or my floor. Not much of a choice. I suppose
it I leave you'll start to cry? (Shia nods) Fine. I'll sit here, on the
floor, until you fall asleep.
Shia: fank oo.
(Obi sits on the floor and leans against the wall. Within a few minutes
both are asleep.)
_________________________________________________________________________
Very Early In The Morning
(Qui-Gon is making noise in the kitchen and causes Obi-Wan to wake up.)
Obi: Huh? Why am I on the floor? Something about a rancor.... (looks at a
sleeping Shia.) Oh yeah. Her.
(Obi-Wan tiptoes out of his room and into Qui-Gon's where he promptly
collapses on the bed and falls asleep.)
Qui: Obi-Wan, wake up.
(Obi retaliates be pilling the covers over his head.)
Qui: Obi, I'll never let you sleep in if you act this way.
Obi: Master, it is in the middle of the night.
Qui: It it late in the 8th hour, I have a class to teach and Shia is already
up. She's quite a talker without that gauze.
Obi: (pulls pillow over his head) Wonderful.
Shia: (from other room) I'm hungry!
Qui: Hear that, looks like you have some cooking to do. (no response)
Obi-Wan, if you do not get up now I will ground you for the next two weeks
and you will be stuck here with Shia all the time.
(Obi sits up immediately, pillow falling from his face.)
Obi: (yells into the other room) Sugar cakes and eggs sound good?
Shia: I want ice cream!
Qui: Please get Shia some ice cream. She has been asking for it all morning.
Obi: Master, the last thing that girl needs is more sugar.
Qui: Please be nice to her while I'm gone Obi.
(Qui-Gon leaves the room and makes a quick exit. Obi-Wan struggles out
of the room and sees Shia.)
Shia: I'm hungry.
Obi: Shia, are you aware of how miserable your making my life?
Shia: Not really.
Obi: Do you care?
Shia: Not really.
_________________________________________________________________________
Later That Afternoon
Shia: I'm bored.
Obi: Keep reading.
Shia: I'm sick of reading.
Obi: Watch the holovid.
Shia: There's nothing good on.
Obi: Study your make up work for the classes you missed.
(Shia just stares at Obi-Wan like he's grown a new head.)
Obi: Then I'm out of suggestions.
(Obi-Wan and Shia sit in silence for a few minutes, Obi studying, Shia
sitting upside down in a chair staring at a wall.)
Shia: I'm bored.
Obi: I know. Believe me, I know. Your extremely annoying.
Shia: Then make me not bored.
(Qui-Gon enters the room.)
Obi/Shia: Qui-Gon!
(Both padawans run over and hug him before he even closes the door.)
Qui: Wha- Padawans, what's going on?
(Both start talking at the same time.)
Qui: One at a time.
Obi: She's being annoying.
Shia: He's being boring.
Obi: Annoying.
Shia: Boring.
Obi: Crybaby!
Shia: Braid boy!
Qui: Stop. Shia, that's my name for him. Obi, don't call Shia a crybaby.
Obi: She is!
Shia: Am not!
Qui: Cut it out padawans!
Shia: (mutters) I don't have any scissors.
Qui: What was that, Shia?
Shia: (sweetly) Nothing Qui-Gon.
Qui: Good. You two were acting like children. Obi, go back to studying.
Shia, I will help you find something to amuse yourself with.
(Shia was staring at Qui-Gon with squinted eyes and her head cocked to
one side.)
Shia: Actually, I think I already found something.
Qui: (a little uneasily) What is it?
Shia: (sweetest voice possible) Qui-Gon, can I play with your hair? Please?
Qui: Well, I don't know....
Obi: Don't let her get to you master. Many jedi have fallen prey to her sad
puppy eyes. Don't be one of them.
Shia: Please Qui-Gon? (gives him a pleading look that could melt the heart
of a sith)
Qui: Yes Shia. You may play with my hair.
Obi: No master! Don't go over to the whipped side!
Shia: Goody! I'll go get my supplies! (runs from room)
Obi: Master?
Qui: Yes padawan?
Obi: Can I take pictures?
Qui: No padawan, you may not take pictures. Besides, I'm sure it won't be
that amusing. She's just going to practice on my hair.
Obi: I believe the term is 'play' master. She is going to play with you
hair. And just remember my words. Baby rancor.
_________________________________________________________________________
(Qui storms out of the room. His hair is a mass of braids and beads.
Shia is asleep due to the pain killers she took for her teeth.)
Qui: I can't take it anymore! That girl is worse then you!
Obi: Yeah, she can make you do stuff for her.
Qui: (ignoring our favorite padawan) How dose she do that? Now I know why I
was the only one that wanted her around! She's a a a
Obi: Baby rancor master?
Qui: Yes, a baby rancor. And she's suppose to be here for two more weeks!
She can't stay here that long! But no one else wants her! What can we do?
Obi: Lets just drop her off by the side of the road and hope someone really
nice finds her.
(Qui-Gon seems to have gotten himself under control.)
Qui: No, Obi. She will stay here and we will continue to be nice to her.
Obi: What about us?
Qui: We will survive padawan. Somehow.
Shia: *thinks from her room* That's what they think.
_________________________________________________________________________
Two Weeks and Many Braids Later
Shia: Bye Qui-Gon. Thank you for letting me stay with you.
Qui: Your welcome Shia.
Shia: See you in class tomorrow Obi. Thank you for letting me use your room.
Obi: Your welcome Shia. Well, here's your bag, your masters waiting and
we'll see ya when we see ya. Bye!
(Obi dose everything but shove her out and slam the door behind her.)
Qui: So padawan, what are you going to do now?
Obi: I'm going to sleep in my own bed, make my own food and eat my own ice
cream. You?
Qui: I'm going to try to get these braids out of my hair and remind myself
never to be that stupid again.
Obi: Sounds good to me master.
(Both head in the direction of their rooms and slam the door behind
them.)
THe eND
Date: Fri, 04 May 2001 09:31:43 -0400
From: Dawn dawnh@gscyclone.com
To: dawnh@gscyclone.com
Title: Obi, Qui, and Sad Puppy Eyes
Author: OceanGrl
Rating: G
Summery: This started as a humor story inspired by 'Of Wisdom Teeth and
Obi-Wan' by Obi the Kid (LOVE your stuff!) and a similar experience but I
truly don't know what it is now. I will give you a better excuse as soon as
I think of one that doesn't include Novocain and pain killers.
Disclaimer: I am not the master mind that came up with Star Wars, I'm just
an over-active imagination. I do own Shia, Healer Paige, and I think that's
all.
___________________________________________________________________________
Obi: Master, I'm home!
Qui: Padawan, must you yell every time you enter a room?
Obi: Yes.
Qui: Why?
Obi: So people know I'm here and besides, it ticks you off.
Qui: I'm sure no one cares when you enter a room. But since you are here, I
have a job for you.
Obi: I should have kept my mouth shut.
Qui: Like so many other times. I need you to clean your room and move your
clothes and whatever else you need for two weeks into my room.
Obi: I'm afraid to ask, but why?
Qui: Do you remember Padawan Shia?
Obi: Uh-oh. Yes?
Qui: She just had two of her wisdom teeth pulled and her master left on a
mission this morning.
Obi: Uh-oh. So?
Qui: So she will be our guest for the next two weeks.
Obi: Uh-oh. Another guest?
Qui: Please stop saying that Obi-Wan. Yes, another guest. And one who's just
had her wisdom teeth pulled, no less. I appear to be very busy the next few
weeks so, in addition to giving her your room, she will be your
responsibility. I've all ready told Shia, she seems to like the idea.
Obi: Why must you torment me?
Qui: Because it's fun. Now go clean your room. We have to pick Shia up in
fifteen minutes.
(Obi-Wan sulks to his room, muttering about taking the welcome sign off
there door and stuffing in his masters big mouth.)
_________________________________________________________________________
(Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon have reached the med bay and have been directed to
the room that holds 16 year old Shia)
Obi: Master, it looks like she is asleep.
Qui: She won't be for long. Come on Shia, wake up time! (Qui, claps his
hands in front of Shia's face)
Obi: I'm glad to see it's all the padawans you are curl to, not just me.
(Obi-Wan walks to Shia and shakes her shoulder) Wakey wakey, eggs and bacey!
(Shia quickly rolls over and backhands Obi)
Shia: o way
Obi: What'd she say? I can't understand her with all that gauze stuffed in
her mouth.
Qui: The gauze will come out tomorrow. Then she will probably be able to
talk as much as she wants.
Obi: Oh. Master? Do we have to take the gauze out?
(Shia glares at him through half opened eyes and makes a feeble attempt
to swat him again)
Qui: (catches her hand) That's enough padawans. Shia? Can you walk?
Shia: (nods miserably) bu i urts
Obi: Duh.
Qui: Shut it Obi-Wan. Come on Shia. (helps Shia up and out of the room) Get
her bag, padawan.
Obi: Fine. You help her up. I get her bag.
Qui: Shia, are you hungry?
Shia: a itle
Qui: We'll get you some ice cream on the way back, okay?
Obi: Can I have some?
Qui: No Obi, it's not good for you.
Obi: It's not good for Shia either.
Qui: You didn't just have your wisdom teeth pulled.
Obi: You still wouldn't let me.
Qui: Your right, I wouldn't. And stop whining padawan, it's one thing to
whine in front of me, but there is another padawan with us.
Obi: You like her better then me.
Qui: Now Shia, you will be staying in Obi-Wan's room- don't worry, I made
him clean it up first.
Shia: fank oo i on
Qui: Your welcome.
Obi: Him? You should thank me! It's my room!
Shia: (starts to say something, glances at Qui-Gon and continues) fank oo oe
on.
(Qui-Gon smiles at her and turns to Obi-Wan)
Obi: (mumbles) Your welcome, Shia.
_________________________________________________________________________
Later That Night
(Qui and Obi are sitting at the table. Obi is attempting to choke down a
meal cooked by his master. Shia has retired to Obi's room, saying she was
'ired' and was going to rest.)
Qui: Obi, I have plans tonight so you and Shia will be on your own.
Obi: No master, please don't leave me with her!
Qui: I don't see why you dislike her so much. She is very sweet.
Obi: So is a baby rancor.
Qui: Obi-Wan, I would hardly compare Shia to a rancor. I have to leave now.
Don't forget, when your done eating, wake Shia and help her change the gauze
pads in her mouth.
Obi: Appearances can be deceiving master! (door slams shut behind Qui-Gon)
(Shia appears in the doorway)
Shia: uts oing on?
Obi: Masters gone so I have to take care of you.
Shia: (glares at Obi-Wan) I ont eed a aby itter.
Obi: I have no intention of becoming your baby sitter Shia, believe me.
Shia: I ungy
Obi: Too bad. Unless you want to eat masters cooking your just going to have
to be hungry,
(Shia whimpers)
Obi: Don't wanna hear it, don't wanna hear it, don't wanna hear it!
(Shia's lower lip quivers and tears fill her eyes. Obi has his hands
over his ears and is humming loudly. He glances up. Big mistake. Shia's
pitiful no-one-cares-about-me sad puppy face kills all of his defiant
spirit.)
Obi: (wearily) What do you want?
Shia: ice eam
Obi: You just had ice cream this afternoon and- (looks at Shia) what kind?
Shia: oclate
Obi: Right. Chocolate. I'll go get some. After you change the gauze pads in
your mouth.
Shia: (backs up a few steps shaking her head) urts
Obi: I know it hurts but wearing bloody gauze will not make it better. Now
come here, I'll help.
(After some struggling and a black eye for Obi, the gauze is changed and
Obi is out on a quest for chocolate ice cream. First he tries the temple
cafeteria.)
Obi: One canister of chocolate ice cream please.
(The server starts to comply but then stops and takes a closer look at
Obi-Wan)
Server: Sorry Obi, your master cut you off. Were not suppose to let you have
any ice cream in any form.
Obi: (shakes his head in disbelief) But it's not even for me! It's for this
girl that just had her wisdom teeth pulled and-
Server: Sorry Obi. There's nothing I can do.
(Obi stalks disgustedly out of the cafeteria and gets halfway back
before realizing that he better not come back without any ice cream. He
would just get one of Shia's looks and end up coming back out again. Obi-Wan
leaves the temple and walks down the street to the nearest ice cream
parlor.)
Obi: A canister of chocolate ice cream, please.
Cashier: Were out.
Obi: Excuse me?
Server: I said were out. Try down the street.
(Obi leaves and walks until he comes to the next ice cream shop.
Obi: A canister of chocolate ice cream. Please.
Cashier: Our ice cream maker is broken.
Obi: Your kidding.
Cashier: Sorry. I think there's another shop a few blocks away.
(Obi-Wan throws his hands in the air and starts walking, resigning
himself to a long night.)
Obi: (looking desperate) Do you have any chocolate ice cream?
Cashier: Yes.
Obi: Can I please buy some?
(The cashier hands Obi-Wan the canister and Obi pays for it.)
Obi: Thank you. You don't know haw happy you've made me.
(Leaves store and a very confused, slightly frightened cashier and heads
back home.)
_________________________________________________________________________
(Obi arrives home to find Shia asleep on the couch, being fussed over by
Qui-Gon and Healer Paige.)
Qui: (speaking as sharply as possible without disturbing Shia) Obi-Wan, how
could you leave Shia alone like this? It was very irresponsible of you. And
I thought I cut you off from ice cream!
Obi: You did master. That's why I had to travel halfway around the stinken
planet to get a stinken can of stinken chocolate ice cream that Shia had to
have. (continues in a disbelieving, slightly insane tone) And now she's
asleep. So she can't have it anyway.
(Healer Paige, who was stroking Shia's blond hair and softly singing to
her, looks up.)
Paige: Then she'll have to have it in the morning. But you can't blame her
for falling asleep, after what she's been through.
Obi: (under his breath) You wanna bet?
(Qui-Gon elbows Obi in the ribs.)
Qui: (reluctantly) She should sleep in a bed tonight.
Paige: Qui, lets not wake her. She's so peaceful.
Qui: Your right. Obi-Wan, carry Shia into her room and put her to bed.
Obi: Do I have to? I'm fine with the idea of waking her.
Qui: Obi-Wan-
Obi: Okay, okay, I'll do it.
(Obi-Wan reluctantly picks up a still asleep Shia, handling her
carefully. The last thing he wants is to wake her up.)
Obi: Baby rancor master. Baby rancor.
_________________________________________________________________________
(Obi-Wan is attempting to fall asleep on Qui-Gon's floor)
Obi: (whining) Masterrrr. Why couldn't you have a softer floor?
Qui: Because I'm mean. Now go to sleep.
Obi: (still whining) I've been trying.
Qui: There is no try padawan, and stop whining.
Obi: Why, your precious Shia isn't around to hear. You know, I think there's
a rule against liking another padawan better then your own.
Qui: At least she doesn't get sick when she's in pain. Now go to sleep, I
don't want to hear another word out of you.
Obi: Yes master.
(Obi-Wan flops over on his stomach and after awhile, starts to drift
off.)
Shia: Oe an? Oe! I irsy.
(Obi-Wan pulls the covers over his head.)
Qui: Padawan, your responsibility is calling.
(Obi pitifully drags himself up and enters what used to be his room.)
Obi: What do you want?
Shia: I irsy.
Obi: Your what?
Shia: irsy!
(Obi's sleepy brain starts to kick in.)
Obi: Oh, your thirsty. (thinks) Well, you can't drink with your mouth full
of gauze and you can't put the same gauze in after you take it out.
(Obi looks at Shia. Shia looks at Obi. Obi goes to the kitchen, gets a
cup of juice and comes back. He manages to change the gauze pads unscathed.)
Sleepy Shia: ant ain iller
(Obi goes to the kitchen to get Shia's prescribed pain killer and helps
her down it.)
Sleepy somewhat-out-of-it-Shia: fank oo Oe. uo ice o ee. I ucky ou ave oo.
(Obi thinks a moment, then realizes she said, 'Thank you Obi. Your nice
to me. I'm lucky to have you.)
Shia: I o ery ucky. (I'm so very lucky.)
Obi: Shia, your so heavily medicated. Now go to sleep.
Shia: ay
(Obi leaves room and tries to go to sleep. Just when he's about to...)
Shia: Oe!
(Obi-Wan gets up and once again goes to Shia.)
Obi: What?
Shia: ant eep. say wi ee unil i eep?
Obi: But where would I sit?
Shia: foor
Obi: (mumbles) Qui-Gon's floor or my floor. Not much of a choice. I suppose
it I leave you'll start to cry? (Shia nods) Fine. I'll sit here, on the
floor, until you fall asleep.
Shia: fank oo.
(Obi sits on the floor and leans against the wall. Within a few minutes
both are asleep.)
_________________________________________________________________________
Very Early In The Morning
(Qui-Gon is making noise in the kitchen and causes Obi-Wan to wake up.)
Obi: Huh? Why am I on the floor? Something about a rancor.... (looks at a
sleeping Shia.) Oh yeah. Her.
(Obi-Wan tiptoes out of his room and into Qui-Gon's where he promptly
collapses on the bed and falls asleep.)
Qui: Obi-Wan, wake up.
(Obi retaliates be pilling the covers over his head.)
Qui: Obi, I'll never let you sleep in if you act this way.
Obi: Master, it is in the middle of the night.
Qui: It it late in the 8th hour, I have a class to teach and Shia is already
up. She's quite a talker without that gauze.
Obi: (pulls pillow over his head) Wonderful.
Shia: (from other room) I'm hungry!
Qui: Hear that, looks like you have some cooking to do. (no response)
Obi-Wan, if you do not get up now I will ground you for the next two weeks
and you will be stuck here with Shia all the time.
(Obi sits up immediately, pillow falling from his face.)
Obi: (yells into the other room) Sugar cakes and eggs sound good?
Shia: I want ice cream!
Qui: Please get Shia some ice cream. She has been asking for it all morning.
Obi: Master, the last thing that girl needs is more sugar.
Qui: Please be nice to her while I'm gone Obi.
(Qui-Gon leaves the room and makes a quick exit. Obi-Wan struggles out
of the room and sees Shia.)
Shia: I'm hungry.
Obi: Shia, are you aware of how miserable your making my life?
Shia: Not really.
Obi: Do you care?
Shia: Not really.
_________________________________________________________________________
Later That Afternoon
Shia: I'm bored.
Obi: Keep reading.
Shia: I'm sick of reading.
Obi: Watch the holovid.
Shia: There's nothing good on.
Obi: Study your make up work for the classes you missed.
(Shia just stares at Obi-Wan like he's grown a new head.)
Obi: Then I'm out of suggestions.
(Obi-Wan and Shia sit in silence for a few minutes, Obi studying, Shia
sitting upside down in a chair staring at a wall.)
Shia: I'm bored.
Obi: I know. Believe me, I know. Your extremely annoying.
Shia: Then make me not bored.
(Qui-Gon enters the room.)
Obi/Shia: Qui-Gon!
(Both padawans run over and hug him before he even closes the door.)
Qui: Wha- Padawans, what's going on?
(Both start talking at the same time.)
Qui: One at a time.
Obi: She's being annoying.
Shia: He's being boring.
Obi: Annoying.
Shia: Boring.
Obi: Crybaby!
Shia: Braid boy!
Qui: Stop. Shia, that's my name for him. Obi, don't call Shia a crybaby.
Obi: She is!
Shia: Am not!
Qui: Cut it out padawans!
Shia: (mutters) I don't have any scissors.
Qui: What was that, Shia?
Shia: (sweetly) Nothing Qui-Gon.
Qui: Good. You two were acting like children. Obi, go back to studying.
Shia, I will help you find something to amuse yourself with.
(Shia was staring at Qui-Gon with squinted eyes and her head cocked to
one side.)
Shia: Actually, I think I already found something.
Qui: (a little uneasily) What is it?
Shia: (sweetest voice possible) Qui-Gon, can I play with your hair? Please?
Qui: Well, I don't know....
Obi: Don't let her get to you master. Many jedi have fallen prey to her sad
puppy eyes. Don't be one of them.
Shia: Please Qui-Gon? (gives him a pleading look that could melt the heart
of a sith)
Qui: Yes Shia. You may play with my hair.
Obi: No master! Don't go over to the whipped side!
Shia: Goody! I'll go get my supplies! (runs from room)
Obi: Master?
Qui: Yes padawan?
Obi: Can I take pictures?
Qui: No padawan, you may not take pictures. Besides, I'm sure it won't be
that amusing. She's just going to practice on my hair.
Obi: I believe the term is 'play' master. She is going to play with you
hair. And just remember my words. Baby rancor.
_________________________________________________________________________
(Qui storms out of the room. His hair is a mass of braids and beads.
Shia is asleep due to the pain killers she took for her teeth.)
Qui: I can't take it anymore! That girl is worse then you!
Obi: Yeah, she can make you do stuff for her.
Qui: (ignoring our favorite padawan) How dose she do that? Now I know why I
was the only one that wanted her around! She's a a a
Obi: Baby rancor master?
Qui: Yes, a baby rancor. And she's suppose to be here for two more weeks!
She can't stay here that long! But no one else wants her! What can we do?
Obi: Lets just drop her off by the side of the road and hope someone really
nice finds her.
(Qui-Gon seems to have gotten himself under control.)
Qui: No, Obi. She will stay here and we will continue to be nice to her.
Obi: What about us?
Qui: We will survive padawan. Somehow.
Shia: *thinks from her room* That's what they think.
_________________________________________________________________________
Two Weeks and Many Braids Later
Shia: Bye Qui-Gon. Thank you for letting me stay with you.
Qui: Your welcome Shia.
Shia: See you in class tomorrow Obi. Thank you for letting me use your room.
Obi: Your welcome Shia. Well, here's your bag, your masters waiting and
we'll see ya when we see ya. Bye!
(Obi dose everything but shove her out and slam the door behind her.)
Qui: So padawan, what are you going to do now?
Obi: I'm going to sleep in my own bed, make my own food and eat my own ice
cream. You?
Qui: I'm going to try to get these braids out of my hair and remind myself
never to be that stupid again.
Obi: Sounds good to me master.
(Both head in the direction of their rooms and slam the door behind
them.)
THe eND