Title: Show Me The Way
Author: Wicked R
Disclaimers: characters and the universe belongs to the WB.

Rating: PG.

Genre: Angst/Romance.

Summary/Set/Pairing: alternate ending to "The Importance of Being Phoebe", season 5 of Charmed, but not how you think. Cole/K. Don't recoil. Cole was miserable. Somebody had to make it easier for him.

Cole listened to Phoebe, "you just don't get it, Cole, do you? I thought you were dead and I felt nothing. No pain, no love, nothing. I'm free. And when we do vanquish you, and we will, I'll never look back," he looked at her sorrowfully, tears starting to flow from his eyes and because he couldn't take anymore of Phoebe's refutation of him at the time, he shimmered out.

Kaia's voice startled him in his own penthouse, "she's not by your side I see."

Cole ignored her, too tired from his emotions to bother to send an energy ball towards her to get rid of her. Instead, he stepped to his drinks cabinet and took a bottle of tequila out. He didn't trouble himself with glasses either, he just gulped down half of the bottle, then sat down on his sofa with it in his hand. Not even alcohol affected him as much as it had before he became all powerful. He needed a lot more of it to start to forget, so he thought, he better get a move on and took another quarter of the bottle, "want some?" he lifted the bottle up in the stripper's direction. If he didn't kill her, at least he could use her as company. He wasn't in a destructive mood anyway. He wasn't sure what damage he could do on the world, if he used all his powers at the same time, he maybe could've been able to destroy California by sheer will, but if not all the state, he could've made San Francisco disappear for sure. Except that it just seemed too much effort and would've achieved nothing. On the contrary, it would've killed Phoebe as well. She wasn't going to be his, she hurt him on purpose, she never really understood him with her judgemental crap. It would've made sense on some level to simply end it that way. But that would've been evil. And no matter how much Phoebe didn't believe that, no matter he was the leader of the underworld again, he wasn't evil. He was so tired of trying to prove that, so tired of life, sick and tired of…

"Yes," the blonde agreed, thinking if she had some of the bottle, maybe Cole wouldn't drink as much. But instead of Cole pouring her some drink, a glass materialised in her hands to Cole's slight movement of one of his fingers.

"What do u want from me Kaia? I ain't no prince on fancy horse. I might be the current leader of the underworld, but I don't know for how long with my current rate of killing off demons," in fact, he didn't know why he was still around. He was a monster, inadequate and pathetic, and he didn't belong anywhere anymore. He wasn't human and he wasn't a demon. His body didn't let him die, but in fact he was dead. He heard Phoebe's words in his mind over and over again, and he didn't even want to belong in the world anymore. And on top of it all, he couldn't kill himself.

"I wanna help," he heard Kaia's voice.

"Ok," he replied softly, giving up, letting life unfold as it wanted. What he wanted he couldn't have. Nothing else mattered.

"You want me to…to help you?" Kaia was in fact surprised and unsure what to do.

Cole gaped down at the floor, "yes," he whispered. Anything, to end this horror in his mind.

"You want me to be Phoebe?"

"No," his hand shot up and he shook her in panic, "I wanna forget. Help me forget."

Kaia swung her legs around his waist, her lips settled solidly on his. Cole started to move his hips and wished themselves in the bedroom.

Cole woke up with a small cry in the darkness of his bedroom, his tears stinging his eyes. He lay motionless for a second to realise what was going on, then hurried to the bathroom as he realised that the couple of bottles of strong alcohol he had at night were too much for his system as well. When he could finally concentrate on his still uncontrolled emotions, he pulverized the sink with his fists, then fell down onto the floor sobbing. He only glanced up as two arms enfolded him and he allowed Kaia to hold him tightly against her chest.

"That bitch did this to you," Kaia said bitterly, but half expecting to be punished immediately for calling the witch a bitch.

However, nothing happened until Cole managed to control his tears in a few minutes, "I had everything," he said, his voice still stifled, "I had everything I ever wanted, and it just...it slipped through my fingers like sand."

"I know," Kaia fixed her gaze on the night sky through the small window of the bathroom, "and you've given in to sorrow and let it take your life. Pain all you have," Cole looked up at her questioningly, never have given the shape shifter the benefit of having wits for her looks, "I understand what suffering is, I know how it feels when you're terrified and unable to cope with life because it hurts too much," she paused, then decided to tell him her age followed by a tiny smile, "I'm three hundred years old. I lost my family to the Source. My whole family, and that is including the love of my life. So wherever you wanna go, that's fine by me. Whatever you want. Just don't tell me you want Phoebe. Forget Phoebe. I can't…" She stood up and stepped back. For a single, timeless moment, their eyes met and she could see that deep inside, there was a hint of gratitude in him towards her, "I'll go if you want," then she was gone.

Cole knew he would look for her. Soon.

The End.