Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken or the characters within the series. This series and the characters within it, are the property of Namco. This story is for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Nina will be doing a lot of character bashing so if you're case sensitive don't read. She also uses rather colorful language. This is written purely for laughs and nothing much else.

The Nina and Anna Show
Chapter 1: Smeagol Syndrome
By: Kadeana

"Hello, audience! And welcome to our new show!" Anna Williams chirped happily. "I'm, Anna." She paused for effect. "And this is my psycho, I mean sister, Nina!" The crowd clapped and whistled. "And we . . . are the Williams Sisters!"

Nina nodded her head in acknowledgment and then muttered, "Let's get this fucking show started."

"Alright!" Anna hooted. They headed for the stools especially made for them. "Our topic today is obsessions." The crowd oohed and ahhed.

"We found an old ass, senile idiot. Who is obsessed with his company," Nina revealed. She shook her head in disgust. "We also have two, stupid ass psychos. Who are obsessed with a young man named, Jin Kazama."

"Hopefully, we can get to the root of their problems and help them," Anna said sorrowfully.

"And if we can't, I can always kill the bastards," Nina declared. "I don't think anyone in their right mind would object."

"Okay," Anna said. She had a freaked out smile on her face. "Here's our first guest, Heihachi Mishima!" As the crowd and Anna respectfully clapped, Nina exercised her trigger fingers.

Heihachi came out a few steps, stopped, looked around a few times, and then started walking again. He repeated the process until he made it to his seat.

"Welcome to the show," Anna said sweetly.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Nina demanded. His paranoia had freaked her out.

"People everywhere are trying to steal my company from me," Heihachi replied in horror. "I have to forever watch out for them."

"Newsflash, nobody wants that piece of shit company, except your two psycho sons," Nina replied.

"Those two spawns are the worst," Heihachi groaned.

"I know how it is to feel like you can't trust your own family," Anna said seriously.

"Shut up," Nina snapped. "They're the heirs to the company, of course their interested."

"I'm not dead yet!" He shouted.

"You will be soon, if you keep yelling at me," Nina said calmly.

"Don't you think what the boys do is a little justified?" Anna asked. "Especially Kazuya. You have tried to kill him, what is it, three times now?"

"And it would have worked too," Heihachi declared. "If it wasn't for those kids and that stupid dog."

"What!" Anna exclaimed confused.

"This is the Williams Show, not Scooby Doo," Nina snapped. "You old, senile fuck!"

Man, I know now I should have gotten that beep machine, Anna thought. Her sister could swear like an old drunken sailor when provoked or unprovoked.

"I just don't understand why all this is happening to me," Heihachi moaned.

"Hmm, lets see," Nina said sarcastically. "You're an old tyrant, who destroys everything in his path." She started cleaning her fingernails with her knife. "What goes around, comes around."

"And that ungrateful, brat Jin came back to kill me too," Heihachi declared.

"Yeah, after you pumped him full of lead," Anna replied dryly.

"That company is mine!" He exploded. "No one else's! Mine all mine! I killed for it fair and square! It's mine!"

"Classic. Smeagol. Syndrome," Anna declared shaking her head. "But don't worry. We will help you." She started smiling. "But first, it's time to introduce our next two guests."

"Hwoarang and Ling Xiaoyu," Nina revealed. They walked out together. Hwoarang's arms were crossed as if he was bored with the world and Xiaoyu power waved and posed for the crowd.

Anna smiled brightly. "Welcome." They sat on the love seat beside Heihachi.

"Hi," Xiaoyu said happily.

"Whatever," Hwoarang muttered.

"So Hwoarang, we will start with you," Anna declared. "What's with this obsession with Jin?"

"Every since we fought a couple of years back and it was a draw, I knew I was destined to meet him, again, in battle," Hwoarang declared. His hands balled into fists. "And when we meet again, I will be the victor."

"Sounds interesting," Anna said happily.

"Yeah, to a tree stump," Nina replied.

"Fuck you!" Hwoarang snapped.

"Fuck you!" She snapped back.

"Right back at ya, hag!" Hwoarang shouted. The crowd and Anna gasped and begin trying to find a hiding place.

Nina raised her sawed-off shotgun in the air. "Do you all like my new gun?" she asked smirking. "I think it's excellent for shooting a rare breed of Redheaded Dumbass."

Hwoarang shut his mouth. I knew I shouldn't have come on this show, he thought fearfully. She's going to kill me later. Anna and the crowd hesitantly went back to their seats.

"From looking at your record it looks like to me you need to concentrate on defeating Forest Law or his father, Marshall," Anna declared. "One of them has defeated you in every tournament."

"So why are you obsessed with defeating Jin? When the Laws make you look like a complete joke?" Nina demanded. "I think they've both beaten you under five seconds tops."

"I will defeat Jin," Hwoarang replied. "It is my destiny."

"Ms. Ling," Anna called.

"That's Ms. 'Future Mrs. Jin Kazama' to you lady," Xiaoyu replied sweetly.

"Yeah, right," Nina muttered.

"Okay," Anna replied. "Why are you obsessed with Jin?"

"He's so cute," Xiaoyu gushed. "And I'm cute. He's always nice to me. We went to the same school. He's so mysterious and cute. He doesn't push me down and run away. I love him a whole lots."

"Apparently, he has a high tolerance for idiots," Nina declared eying the three guests on the stage.

"It's my mission in life to save the Mishimas," Xiaoyu declared. "I'm building a time machine to go to the past. So I can to stop all this madness fore it starts."

"That's noble," Anna said.

"Then I can come back and marry Jin," Xiaoyu declared. "He'll love me a whole lots for changing the past. I mean . . . his dad won't be the Devil man anymore."

"FY—fucking—I," Nina butted in. "If you stop Heihachi from throwing Kazuya off the cliff, then there is no need for Jun to seek the evil, brain surgeon out!"

"And your point?" Xiaoyu asked. Nina's stupid, she thought.

"Jin won't be born, you stupid little bitch!" Nina shouted.

"You two are so amazing," Xiaoyu declared. She hadn't heard a word Nina said. "I watch old tapes of you two playing tennis all the time."

"I've never played tennis in my life!" Nina shouted.

"I've only played once or twice," Anna replied.

"Don't be shy," Xiaoyu replied winking. "You two changed the face of tennis."

"What!" Nina shouted.

"She thinks you two are Venus and Sarena Williams," Heihachi revealed. "They played tennis years ago."

"Don't talk anymore!" Nina tirades at the young girl.

"We are not those Williams sisters," Anna said gently. Xiaoyu looked as if she didn't believe her.

"You two are mentally unbalanced," Nina declared. "Your obsessions with Jin are totally unfounded. He's told us both, you two are official stalkers!"

"I beg to differ," Hwoarang declared.

"My obsession is totally founded," Xiaoyu said frowning. She fished out a picture from who knows where. "Look who's posing with Panda and me?"

"It's a cute photo," Anna said.

"Ohh, he took a picture with you," Nina said sarcastically. "I hear the wedding bells ringing."

"It proves we are soul mates!" Xiaoyu declared.

"On what planet?" Nina asked.

"Earth, silly," Xiaoyu replied.

"I'd say Planet Clueless," Anna replied. "Do you have anymore evidence that you and Jin are soul mates?" Xiaoyu went on to show them her Tekken Tag school ending. Miharu had taped it with her mini cam.

"That's proof," Xiaoyu declared. "He talks to me all the time."

"Looks like to me, he's trying to stop himself from bashing you on top of your empty head, with his black school bag!" Nina declared.

"FYI, you're telling a lie," Xiaoyu sang.

"I hate you!" Nina shouted.

"Don't we all," Hwoarang asked.

"Jin doesn't," Xiaoyu said. She stood up and taunted them giggling.

"Can I kill her now?" Nina asked.

"No," Anna replied.

"Forget, Jin!"

"No!" Hwoarang, Heihachi, and Xiaoyu shouted together.

"Shut up! You old Buzzard," Nina snapped. "I didn't ask you shit."

Her attention turned back to the younger guests. "Do you two even care your masters were attacked by Ogre? If you had half a brain between the two of you, you'd realize you should have been trying to avenge them."

"I have to agree," Anna said. "Xiaoyu, my records show, you were in the in the third tournament for an amusement park."

"Wee! I love amusement parks," she replied. "Almost as much as I love Jin."

"Shouldn't you have been trying to avenge your teacher?" Anna asked.

"My favorite ride is the roller coaster," Xiaoyu replied.

"Hwoarang shouldn't you have been trying to avenge your teacher?" Nina asked. "Instead of chasing Jin, like that love sick groupie over there."

"Defeating Jin is my destiny!" Hwoarang replied.

"And after you do that, marrying him is my destiny," Xiaoyu declared.

"My company is my destiny!" Heihachi shouted.

"And killing you three, and sending you straight to Hell, is mine!" Nina shouted.

"Time for our intervention program," Anna said nervously. "Come and get them!"

"What intervention program!" Hwoarang demanded. Before he could run, a legion of guys in white jackets grabbed him. Xiaoyu and Heihachi were grabbed as well. "I hate you two!" Hwoarang screamed. He started to cry as they were carried away. "I don't want to go to the crazy house!" He sobbed. The other two were happily carried away.

"We'll find out at the end of the season if our program worked or not," Anna declared. The crowd clapped on cue.

"Next week our topic we'll be Water Boy Syndrome," Nina revealed. "Moms who won't let their young adults step from their shadows."

"I hope you tune in!" Anna called waving happily.

"And cut!" Lee C. Williams declared. Anna's husband, Heihachi's adopted son, was the director of their talk show.

Edited: October 6, 2010