Story Title: Drunken Night

Author: Mathais

Rating: T, borderline M

Fandom: Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha

Warnings: Boys' Love... sorta, Crack of epic proportions

Pairings: Yuuno/Chrono

Summary: Chrono wakes up after a drunken night of partying. With Yuuno.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and elements of Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha; I'm just playing with them.

Notes: Because I need this—the crack shipper in me won't relent.

OoOoO

"Ow, shit."

Sunlight burned through the window and exacerbated the pounding in his head. Chrono groaned as consciousness flittered in on the back of raging pit bulls wielding jackhammers. He attempted to drag one arm across his eyes to block out the sun, but he couldn't move his arms. After a brief flash of panic, he instead identified a strong grip around him.

Only, they were kind of muscular.

And when he looked down, all of the grogginess fled away at the sight.

"Holy crap, Yuuno?"

"What?"

"Dammit, ferret boy!"

"Ouch!"

"Shi—!"

CRASH!

BOOM!

Chrono groaned as his head throbbed from its collision with the wall. As if the previous pounding and the burning in a place he didn't want to think about wasn't enough. Yuuno glared up at him from where he was sprawled on the ground, one hand to his head.

"What was that for?" he grumbled.

"The hell were we doing in bed...?" Chrono stopped and gawked at the blond-haired teen. "Holy shit, you're naked!"

Yuuno reflexively looked down at himself before looking at Chrono. "Well, yeah..."

"I'm naked!"

"That's kind of obvious too."

"Where are we? What were we doing last night?"

Yuuno grumbled as he got to his feet, causing Chrono to avert his eyes. "I think we were celebrating Hayate's promotion. I remember a lot of drinking too."

As he rubbed his head, Chrono thought he might have remembered something like that. Something about clinking champagne glasses and the sweet burn of alcohol. "Oh yeah, that was—hey, you're underage!"

He shrugged in response. "It was a party among friends."

Chrono frowned at the younger teen but didn't respond. "So, we're in a hotel room?"

Well, that probably explained the unfamiliar surroundings. They were in a simple room with sun streaming in from several windows. Obviously meant to be a single. He could figure out more, if only the pounding in his head would stop...

"We were too drunk to make it back to our own places." Yuuno didn't quite manage to keep the eye-roll out of his tone, though he did stop himself from physically doing it.

"What did we do last night?" His head hurt so frigging much that he was having trouble thinking, and he thought he might know but the thoughts faded at the edges.

"Take a wild guess." Yuuno rolled his eyes for real this time and grumpily flopped back down on the bed. He made himself comfortable, heedless of the fact that Chrono scurried away from him.

"Geez, what crawled up your ass and died today?" The words were out of his mouth before he had a chance to think about them, and Chrono choked as something flared in his memory but faded before he could catch it.

"I was having a rather nice sleep after an awesome night of sex before I was rudely kicked out of bed, so I'm sorry if I'm just a little irritable!" Yuuno growled as he buried himself deeper in the blankets.

"Sex?" Chrono nearly squeaked. "SEX? Ooh no, you're not getting away with just saying that!" He punched Yuuno into the shoulder for emphasis.

Yuuno released a muffled scream into his pillow but managed to gather himself together. Shifting so that he was facing Chrono, he tried not to let his irritation show. "We were drunk. Then we had sex. Lots of sex." Then, peering over the side of the bed, Yuuno said, "Hey, I think we used up the entire bottle."

Chrono cringed when Yuuno held up a nearly empty tube of lube. "Oh no, I did not have sex with the ferret." Ignoring Yuuno's indignant squawk, he looked down at himself, completely naked and covered in something wh—Chrono slammed his head into the pillow, wishing it were a hard surface instead. "Fuck, I had sex with the ferret."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you." At seeing a panicked Chrono, Yuuno's irritation quickly began morphing into amusement, aided not just a little by his memories of the night before—bless his good memory. And genetics; can't forget genetics. "It was hot too. Really hot."

"No, no, it wasn't hot and couldn't be hot because I'M NOT GAY!"

Yuuno hummed a noncommittal response and arched an eyebrow. "So all that teasing wasn't playground warfare?"

"NO! GOD DAMN, NO! ARRGH! I'M NOT GAY!"

"Don't have to be gay to enjoy it," Yuuno shot back with a playful leer.

Chrono recoiled in horror. "Oh god no. I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that..." What with the way Fate and Nanoha had escaped the party early, he knew that there wasn't anything wrong with that and he'd be the first to blast the hell out of someone taking the issue up with his sister, but still— "I'm not gay!"

"You didn't act that way last night," Yuuno muttered under his breath.

"What'd you say?"

"Nothing!" He held his hands up and tried to appear innocent—which he actually did pretty well considering his boyishly cute looks.

"Argh! I can't believe I slept with the ferret!" Suddenly, a look of abject terror crossed his face. "Oh god, Amy's going to kill me."

Yuuno winced. Well, that was one complication he did not want to think about. "It'll be all right...?"

"You don't understand! She's going to kill me! She'll kill me *DEAD*! You don't know what she can do with a pair of egg beaters, three meters of rope, and five cans of shaving cream!"

Yuuno winced again and resolved to check all his rooms for booby traps in the future. "She doesn't have to find out?" he offered weakly.

"You try keeping anything from her!" Chrono jabbed a finger his face before returning to his freak out of epic proportions, complete with screaming, wailing, and thrashing with his hands on his head. "She'll find out, and then she'll humiliate me and then kill me!"

"Just say you were drunk." In Yuuno's experience, that usually worked with the Scrya clan. A fair amount of things got swept under the rug and forgiven like that. Like the circumstances that led to himself, for instance, if rumors were to be believed.

"ARGH!"

"There, there." Yuuno patted Chrono on the shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. It didn't help. Neither did his next comment. "Blame it on youthful follies then."

Another, darker thought crossed Chrono's mind. "Oh, shit. You're underage! You're underage! Fuck, I just had sex with a—" Chrono leapt out of bed and, desperately ignoring the burning in his legs, began rummaging through his stuff. "Fuck, where are you S2U? I need to blast myself—"

Yuuno latching onto his shoulders stopped him. "Chrono, calm down. That, I can help with. I'm above age of consent for the Scrya clan."

"Really?" Yuuno didn't comment on how pathetic Chrono's voice sounded just then, but his lips did twitch a little.

"Yeah, so no worrying about statutory rape laws."

Chrono didn't respond, and for a moment Yuuno thought that he'd broken him, and really, that wouldn't do at all, when Chrono said, "Well, it didn't seem like your first time."

Yuuno unexpectedly flushed.

"Not with a guy, at least."

"Uh...?"

"Is there anyone I should be worried about? Because once Amy finds out, everyone's going to hear it. I don't need any jealous boyfriends getting the wrong idea. And, hey, when were you gay?"

"What about the fact that Amy's going to kill me too?" Yuuno snorted. "And I've always been bi. I just don't talk about it."

"Mutual annihilation then?" Chrono laughed lightly, but it shook his shoulders with a kind of hysterical mirth that reverberated through Yuuno as well. "Also, I kind of figured. You look it."

"Hey, what's that mean?" Yuuno tightened his arms Chrono's shoulders.

"You're kind of... girly. I mean, really, like your hair. Can you get any girlier?"

"I like my hair long!" No need to mention just what had happened when Chrono stroked his hair last night either.

"Yeah, girly girl."

Yuuno fumed and swung Chrono around to retaliate face-to-face, when a loud pounding on the door interrupted them.

"Hey, keep it down in there! Some of us are trying to sleep, y'know!"

Chrono and Yuuno looked at each other briefly before reaching for the blankets at the same time.

"Ow! Watch it, ferret!"

"Shove over!"

"Hey!"

"I need to answer—"

"But I need—"

"Will you two just be quiet!" the voice outside yelled. "I was up all night because of you! Let me get my sleep now!"

"Shit!" Both men replied in unison as the voice penetrated the hangovers they were trying to ignore.

"Fucker," Chrono added for good measure as he grabbed the blanket when Yuuno recovered just a little bit slower. Yuuno dived into the bed as Chrono stalked to the door, wrapped in his prize. He slammed the door open in irritation, only to meet the shocked gaze of someone he knew.

"Lowran?" Indeed, it was Griffith Lowran on the other side of the door, glasses askew and glaring irritably.

"Harlaown?" Of course, now the irritation was quickly turning to surprise and embarrassment.

"Er, sorry about the noise." Chrono would have rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly if he wasn't so intent on keeping himself covered.

"Well, yes, I suppose you've enjoyed your, uh, night." Griffith's face flushed brilliantly. "Um, I heard you last night. You were rather... loud."

Chrono's blush mirrored Griffith's, even more so when Griffith's wandering gaze managed to look past him into the room.

What he wasn't expecting was Griffith's eyes to widen and his blush to grow that much more violent. "Yuuno?"

"Griffith?" Yuuno nearly fell out of the bed in shock.

"Oh, um, I guess I leave it to you then—" Griffith shot Chrono what might've been a glare if he weren't so embarrassed and quickly fled.

Feeling numb horror slowly spread through his body, he stalked back to the bed, wincing with every step. "No, NO. You did not sleep with—"

"It was just once?" Yuuno winced and dived under the covers. "We were kind of exploring because I'd just hit my age of consent? He was hot?"

"Does Nanoha?"

"No! She don't know anything about who I sleep with!"

"You're so dead." Unfortunately, his walk ended with an abominable wince that had him falling onto the bed.

"Um, yeah, I should probably heal that." Before Chrono could stop him, there was a healing hand over a very uncomfortable region that had Chrono blushing down to his roots, mortified.

"I bot—"

"I think we both did, actually." Yuuno interrupted with a thoughtful look. "You more though."

Chrono paused for a moment and then sighed. "Oh yeah, I remember." He then punched Yuuno in the shoulder. "Does Fate know you—?"

"Does Fate know what, Brother?"

The voice caused them both to cringe.

Yuuno peeked with one eye to see Fate looking—well, a cross between amused, mortified, and really, really, embarrassed.

"Um, hi, Fate. Nothing. Um, there's nothing."

There was a nasty twinkle in Chrono's eye when he opened his mouth, but Yuuno slapped his hand over it just in time. Fate arched an eyebrow, an expression she had to have learned from her adoptive mother.

"Um, I know we were all drunk last night." Her blush grew harder as she both recalled her night with Nanoha as well as took in the sight of two hot men entwined. The latter sent the latent straight part of her libido into overdrive, even as her mind skittered over the fact that one of them was her brother. "But, uh, Amy was wondering where you were, and Griffith was heading straight for her when he left."

Both men froze.

"I mean, she might not have a leg to stand on because she woke up with Hayate and the Wolkenritter, but I don't think that's going to spare anyone in the warpath."

Distantly, they heard a bellow that may or may not have been someone loudly yelling a name that may or may not have belonged to someone in the room.

"I'll, um, pretend I didn't see anything." Her words might have held more weight had she not been eyeing the exposed chests of the two men, as their blankets fell in their horror. Even if she did squick a bit at the fact that she was checking out her brother. "In exchange for that info."

"Done," Yuuno said in a rush as the shouting in the distance grew louder. "Check out for me, will you?"

Fate nodded and left, but it went unseen as the two men dashed around and gathered their discarded clothes. They might've had an easier time had they not been rushed by the oncoming one-woman stampede.

"How are we—?" Chrono asked, frantic.

Yuuno responded with a wave of his hand and made the two of them disappear in a haze of green light.

And just in time, as Amy released a bellow of frustration and raced past the now empty room.

OoOoO

Yeah, this is what happens when you stick a rabid slasher into a Pink Bishoujo Ghetto; somehow, someway you end up pairing what guys are left when the crack urges get too much. I'm completely unrepentant that I wrote this; there needs to be more Yuuno/Chrono stuff. Can anyone point me in that direction?

Also, as the name implies, there's a "Night Before" to this. It's a dirty, dirty BL PWP that shouldn't be read unless you're into it, but it's available if you can find it.