disclaimer: i do not own these characters, as the characters of greek mythology belong to the general public.
disclaimer: i apologize for the previous disclaimer, as the disclaimer is there to assure the reader there is no copyright infringement, and as this fandom is 2,000 years old there isno need for this.
O, sing through me, o muse--
Though your characters are numerous indeed,
And most immoral, in fact they are some of the most awful people to grace the Page of Literature,
Also your gods – your family that is,
Merely use humans for their petty arguments,
-- To help me praise the gods of Greek mythology.
Your family is glamorous,
With the glamour of Paris Hilton,
Which inspire many to act godly,
Or, at least, act like gods.
Your family is like King Arthur's court,
Whom through the generations
Gain more and more immaturity,
Till you aren't sure what the fuss is about.
Oh, let me sing of your father's affairs,
Which are numerous and scandalous,
Or would be scandalous if they weren't so numerous.
Help me sing of his wife
Hera, with arms as white as snow,
And with jealousy and rage like a red-hot skillet,
Due to her husband's infidelity.
Help me sing of the beauty contest of the three women your father most feared,
His wife, his favorite daughter, his mistress,
And the outcome of it.
Help me sing of the ten years that Troy was laid to siege,
Of the many fates and outcomes of some of its heroes,
Mostly tragic.
Achilles got his wish of being forever remembered,
Mostly by getting a tendon named after him.
Oh, help me sing of the twelve labors of Heracles,
Which have been sung through the ages by bards, authors and poets,
Throughout the ages.
Of your father's many bastards,
Who help make the many heroes of Greek myths.
A/N I apologize for the two disclaimers at the top, which were merely put there to add words.