WARNING: The reading of this material whilst handling fluids may cause damage to either electrical appliances or important documents. Or maybe not. My 9-yr-old niece says this is the funniest thing ever, but, then again, "Fairly Odd Parents" get the same reviews, so go figure.
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Cruising town for 6 hours waiting to catch a bad guy whilst doing a bad deed can produce large amounts of adrenaline in law-enforcement officers. It can also induce large amounts of boredom in the more scientific oriented minds, like, say, forensic anthropologists.
And as we all know, a largely bored forensic anthropologist is not the best car companion, specially since you, the law enforcement officer, are trying to keep an eye open for possible suspect sightings, all the whilst trying to pretend understanding half of the things the aforementioned anthropologist is drilling you with. Out of boredom, to begin with.
Having come to that, any interruption, no matter how small, becomes greatly appreciated. Even more if it comes in the shape of official radioes crackling to life, spouting important sounding codes that seemingly demand your utmost immediate attention.
"Roger, dispatch. 10-12-93 in pursual. I'm taking a 19-68. Over"
Once the call is done and the mike is hung, you can feel the questioning in her eyes. You look at her and smile reassuringly, being careful that it (the smile) does not quite reach your eyes. You do not want to convey the idea of simplicity here. Nor do you wish to re-engage in conversation.
Your target looms on your right. You make a turn the first chance you get, and head for the main entrance as quickly as possible. Time's starting to become something of an issue, and you want to imprint that vague feeling of urgency in your partner, something you seem to accomplish quite nicely.
"If we're in such a hurry, why not turn on the siren?"
"Because we don't want to scare innocent by-standers and alert perennial peeping toms"
You ease the official vehicle into a parking spot effortlessly and give yourself a mental pat in the back for such a suave and smooth maneuver. Your objective close-by, you get out of the van and check that your gun's locked and in place.
"Wait here, I'll..."
"What? Wait? Here? Again? Haven't we had this argument before?"
"Bones..."
"I thougth you had understood the fact that I'm not one of those helpless unlookers. I thought we had already agreed that I could take care of myself. I thought we had reached an agreement after what happened in the postal warehouse!"
"Bones..."
"I understand the need to excercise your right as an alpha male, dominant and overprotecting. It's imbeded in your genetical code. It's so deeply ingrained that you even form a close pack of reproductive capalbe females around you in order to ascertain the continuation of your lineage and warn off potential competitors..."
"BONES!"
"What?!"
"I just stopped to take a leak at the men's washroom at the park's entrance, ok?"
For as we all know, large amounts of time spent inside a car during a stake out or vigilant cruising call for large amounts of coffee. And we all know the kind of havoc that 48 ounces of lattes can create.
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A/N: Please R & R. And tell me if I need to get off caffeine for a whilst...