Puddle of Grace
By: Kary G.
Disclaimer: I do not own "Walker Texas Ranger"
A/N: I just decided to write this short story. Hope you enjoy it, as much as I did. The song that I used is called "Puddle of Grace" by Amy Jo Johnson (Don't know why I chose this song =P)
A/N #2: it was a quick story, so be honest to tell me if you like it or not, and one more thing… The bold, and italics letters are Sydney's thoughts.
***
What I feel inside right now cannot be described...is a mixture of happiness, and sadness. How in the world did my eyes focused on him? How did my heart jumped by his laughter? His smile, his eyes, his touch…I thought he was the one, but I was wrong...so wrong. He told me his situation..Boy did I felt my heart breaking piece by piece along with tears of rage. I guess I was just a fling, just for 5 minutes..Still his friend, but I still cannot take away the touch of his lips on my cheek. His smell so masculine… I just wish to have the ability to freeze time and maybe go back a couple of months when it was perfect. I thought I was never going to feel that love again, but he made me feel it...I think that was a mistake… here I was drooling over the guy when he had other things to do, but hey if he's happy I'm happy. Am I?
*****
Sydney Cooke sat in her bedroom. Her hand constantly rubbed her face trying to disappear all the tears that ran down her big and brown eyes. A picture of her and Gage was on her hands. They looked so happy Gage's hand around her waist, and the only reaction that came to mind was giggle like a little girl. They looked wonderful together.
"Why Gage? Why?" that question hurt her the most. Sydney couldn't understand what got wrong between them. A month ago they were happily watching a movie in Gage's apartment when the unthinkable happen…
*Flashback*
Sydney and Gage laughed out loud at the reaction of the characters of 'Rush Hour 2'. Sydney loved that movie. She couldn't stop laughing not noticing Gage's eyes looking at her with a passion that couldn't be described in words.
Out of nowhere, he took her hand in his, and began playing with her fingers. Her hands were so small, and beautiful. Sydney's heart rate shot up in a second. The room felt shrinking around them fast. The movie was not in their minds, both junior rangers looked at each other, he could feel her heart rate, how her chest rise and fell with each inhale and exhale. His hot breath danced around her face. He leaned, and sealed her nervousness with his lips over hers.
***
I hate to feel all these things inside me right now… I remember talking to him… waiting for his response, and when he did response my hands began to shake…until now I cannot figure if the shaking was because in fact I was cold, or because I was upset...maybe a little bit more about the second option than the first one. Oh, well… what can I say? I just wish him happiness, and the best of the best, but what about me? I'll be ok. I just need to stay away from him for awhile.
***
She didn't regret the kiss, it was wonderful, but now just by her looking at Gage's new love made her heart shatter in seconds. Yes… her beloved Gage had a girlfriend, and it wasn't her. Why were men so blind? Couldn't they see the love in our eyes? She still remembered when he called her to ask for advice. She helped him at first not knowing for what he was so nervous about until he told her…
*Flashback*
After a busy day at Ranger Headquarters, and grocery shopping, Sydney got home throwing her heels in the living room, and began to cook, when her phone rang. She picked it up, and was greet by the wonderful voice of her partner Francis Gage.
"Hey Shorty,"
"Hello there. I'm cooking some pasta. Would you like to come by, and join me?" she asked crossing her fingers.
"I'd love to, but I can't. I will eat in a few hours… I just call you. Well, because I need your advice on something," Sydney turned off the stove, this was interesting Gage didn't need advice… he knew how to handle every situation that presented in front of him. Almost everything…except. "I'm going out with Jennifer, and I was wondering if you could recommend me something to give her… a rose? Should I kiss her the first date? Hold hands? What the heck am I supposed to do?"
"I—Yes, a rose would be perfect. Gage, I have to go… have a nice date," she hung up the phone not giving him a chance to say 'thanks' or 'goodbye'. For him that was a little bit weird, but he figured she was busy cooking dinner. After a few minutes he went to pick Jennifer, and on the way to her house. She bought a beautiful bouquet of white roses to give it to his love.
***
…but every time he greets me I go back to the start… life is not fair sometimes, but I guess things happen for a reason. What will happen with him and all this 'going out with another person'… I wish I could answer that but he's the only one that will decide… but what if things were the other way around… what if everything I wish for with him became reality? Will I be ready of facing this new phase… the phase called "Love"?
***
That was the reason of her tears. She had to bear with her partners' happiness; he couldn't help, but tell her all the details of him, and Jennifer. She just had with this Jennifer girl. She excused from her friends letting them know her head hurt so bad, and that she needed a nap. She wasn't lying she needed the nap. Gage asked if he could take her home, but she told him she could drive herself back home.
Alex on the other hand, saw her face, especially her eyes. Her eyes didn't say "my head hurts" it was more of a "my HEART hurts". Sydney hurried to her car, and drove back home, that's when she locked in her room with a picture of the two together in her hands…
Her cell phone rang startling her, and snapping her out of her thoughts. She saw the screen and read "Alex". She didn't pick up; she knew that Alex noticed her. If somebody could pick up in an instant how the other person was feeling, that was Alex.
Sydney had to accept the fact that he was seeing another person. Who knew? Maybe later on he got tired of Jennifer, and left her. Nobody knew the future, but for now she just wished him happiness.
***
Three months later, and Sydney didn't know much about Gage. She decided to take a trip to Austin to clear her mind; she quit her job just for that period of time. She needed time to clear her head, time to forget him… but even though she was not in Dallas… she couldn't forget him. She turned her cell phone off so nobody would find her. She needed let herself cry, and shed the tears she couldn't shed when she was at work with him. Gosh, she missed him so much. She sighed knowing that no matter how many days, weeks, month even years she took off… there was no way in hell she could erase him out of her mind, and heart.
Finally, she packed her bags, and drove back to Dallas. The only person who knew about it was Alex. Hopefully the blonde D.A. wouldn't open her mouth, and tell the boys about her coming back to Dallas.
*******
After a couple of hours driving non-stopping she arrived to Dallas, Sydney arrived to her apartment. She got in leaving the luggage in the living room. She headed to her bedroom, and popped in a CD to her stereo turning the volume letting the music drown her entire house, and she fell asleep with the sound of the soft melody.
Have you seen yourself today? Momma can you help me please?
Could you recognize your face?
Can you tell me what to say?
Mine's lost without a trace.
My hero just stabbed me
With a knife that I did lend
'Oh momma whose my friend? Tell me, tell me where do you go when all the diamonds have run dry I had almost found my face
Tell me, tell me how do you feel after bittersweet goodbye's
I was almost me
But my pride couldn't swallow what I ate
Boy I hope you're happy
Gage parked his truck outside Sydney's home. He got out, and went to the door; he stopped and looked through his pockets, and took out a small key that Alex provided him with. He opened slowly the door, and closed it walking to her bedroom. The soft melody was heard by the male ranger. Tell me, tell me where do you go when all the diamonds have run dry How do you feel when all the diamonds have run dry?
Tell me, tell me how do you feel after bittersweet goodbye's
How do you feel after bittersweet goodbye's?
He stopped looking at his partner sleeping peacefully. He wanted to caress her face, and kiss her lips. He didn't realize his feeling for her until she left Dallas. Since then he wasn't the same. He was a free man. He broke up with Jennifer a week after Sydney left Ranger Headquarters, and quit her job. That's when he met fear. The fear of not knowing if she was coming back to work…to him.
He approached to his partner, looking at her petite body. She meant the world to him now. He just couldn't understand how he couldn't see the love that he felt for her back then. He was sorry and ashamed for his actions. He couldn't even imagine the pain that Sydney went through when he asked her for advice!
Nothing matter more to him know than her. He went to the kitchen to prepare something to eat, to surprise her. After thirty minutes food was ready. Sydney stirred in her sleep, and smelled the aroma of steak, and potatoes that tempted her to go to the kitchen. She woke up, but stopped immediately taking her gun out of her cabinet. She was supposed to be alone.
Sydney stopped pointing her gun to him. "Texas Ranger! Put your hands where I can see them!" she yelled at him. He turned around, and Sydney lowered her gun. "Gage? How did you get in?"
"I have my ways, Shorty. Are you hungry?" he said pointing to the food. She was in shock; she didn't expect to see him here, inside her house… and cooking!
"Gage. Why are you here?" she sat, and waited for him to answer her question.
He set the silverware aside, and looked at Sydney straight at her eyes. "I wanted to apologize for what I did three months ago; I want to apologize because I didn't realize the amount of love that I felt for you… It was so stupid of me. I had to loose you to realize that what I felt for you all these months is love, and nothing more. After you left my world tumbled down. Work was not the same without you," his eyes revealed sadness.
"What about Jennifer?" Sydney had to ask.
"A week after you left to another state for three months… I left her. It was not going to work. She was not you…" Gage stood up abruptly, and kissed Sydney deeply revealing all his fear, and his love for her. They missed this so much…they missed each other. "I love you," he said between kisses of heated passion.
"I love you too," she reply kissing his nose.
Today I found my face Oh momma I found a friend
Floating in a puddle of grace
A porcelain doll with cracks to mend
Oh momma I found a friend
Oh momma I found a friend.
****
"…I would be lying if I said that I didn't love him, that I forgot him those months that I was away from him, but the love doesn't disappear that fast, and the ring on my left hand proves the love that man feels for me… "
The End.