It was one of the most stunning sites that one would ever lay eyes on in their lives. It had an over whelming sense of mystery about it. It was so powerful, that without even being able to speak for itself, it had swallowed millions upon millions of dollars in what was purely a dream to see further into the abyss. But watching the brilliant display that was hanging above him now, Ianto Jones felt nothing for the wonderment of night sky. Closing the curtains of his bedroom windows, he lay gently back in his bed and gazed at his ceiling. Finding that even though it was so simple, his ceiling had just as much power to make him think as out of space. The fact of the matter was Iantos thoughts never changed anymore. All he ever felt was loneliness and pain. It had been two months since she was taken from him, his beautiful Lisa. And everyone had told him the same thing. 'Don't worry Ianto, things will get easier' Toshiko had said, her voice dripping in sympathy and compassion for him. 'Ianto, it will get better, I promise you' Jack told him firmly, with what he assumed was intentionally a re-assuring pat on the shoulder.

Looking back on those moments Ianto shook his head, almost laughing at how wrong they were. Hours later the man's eyes became heavy, curling up in the heavy duvet he rested his head on the pillow, nuzzling deeper into his bedding, seeking any comfort that it had to offer him as he drifted into what he knew would be a troubled sleep.

…

The alarm rang loudly next morning in Iantos ears, bouncing of walls and growing louder. Groaning slightly he hit the off button, sitting up he ran his hands down his face. Climbing out of bed he walked mindlessly to the shower. Standing underneath the hot water he stared blankly ahead of him. This is what he had become; this was his life.

…

He would wake in the morning to the sound of his alarm clock at exactly 6.05am, by 6.10am he was under the shower. Not bothering with breakfast, he would be ready for work and out the door at 7.30am, arriving at Torchwood at 8am, this gave him an hour before everyone else arrived, aside from Jack that was, in this time he would tidy the hub and prepare the coffee. The rest of his day would consist of ordering pizza or Chinese, making cups of coffee and cleaning up after everyone. Through out the day his thoughts would never leave him alone. A small voice would ask him what he was still doing working for these people after what they did, or something he said or heard would spark an old memory of a much happier time, which in turn would force his heart to sink just a little lower. By the end of the day he was ready to crawl into bed and never wake up again.

…

Sitting on the couch at Torchwood he was lost in his own thoughts when a familiar voice pulled him back to reality.

"Ianto, my office" Jack called from the top of the steel stair case.

Looking up to Jack he felt the rest of the teams eyes fixed on him. With a silent nod he got to his feet and headed into the Captains office.

Jack was sat waiting for him as Ianto entered. "Sit." he said firmly.

Iantos heart sunk, it seemed he was in trouble. Doing as he was told he avoided eye contact with the other. He didn't know of Jack had realized, but he hadn't looked the Captain in the eyes since losing Lisa.

"What's going on Ianto" Jack demanded leaning forward in his chair and staring intensely at the Welsh man, he seemed determined to have the other look at him.

Looking intently at his knees Ianto smiled slightly. "Nothing special, why do you ask Sir?" he questioned.

Jacks eyes narrowed and his chin jutted forward as it always did when we was getting angry. Standing up he used his arms to lean against the desk and tower over Ianto. "I'm going to ask you one more time and if you don't talk I can guarantee there will be consequences" He growled.

"Consequences?" Ianto repeated quietly, his eyes not daring to leave his knees. He was of course nervous about standing up to Jack. He closed his eyes, Lisa image flooding his mind. 'What more do I have to lose?' He thought.

"Yes." Jack replied, walking around the desk and standing beside Iantos chair.

Looking up, Ianto, for the first time in months looked into Jacks eyes.

At that moment any anger Jack felt for Ianto melted away as he saw Iantos eyes. In all of his time he had never seen anything as sad. Sitting back down in his chair he didn't dare break the contact. He had forgotten how stunning Ianto was. A small smile grew to Jacks lips.

"What more…could you possibly do to hurt or punish me?" Ianto asked his hands gripping tightly at the fabric of his trousers as tears started to flood his eyes.

The smile quickly left Jacks face as the other spoke. "Ianto, we've been over this, killing her was the only option" he said frowning at the other. Inside his heart was aching, he hated seeing Ianto like this, but he knew he had to be rational, if he and the others hadn't killed Lisa, it would have had serious consequence, and no matter how hard Ianto had tried, there was definitely no cure for Lisa. "There was nothing we could do for her" he said firmly.

Ianto studied Jack, wondering quietly what was running through Jacks head. "That doesn't make it any better for me." He replied as tears fell from his eyes.

Jack ran a hand down his face with a sigh. "Ianto." He said seriously. He paused for a small moment, considering his words in his head before he spoke. "I think you need to leave." He said, his words were filled with regret.

Iantos eyes widened as a stunned expression filled his face. "What?" he asked in shock. "You can't be serious…"