Rufus's greatest secrets revealed 2: The lost footage of Rufus's talk show.

Voice: Hello it is I the weirdo Speed addicted,Vodka drinking President again.

Rufus: Reno! What the hell did I tell you about taking my lines.

Reno: We need some comic relief.

Rufus: Reno come here a sec. [Reno walks up to Rufus and Rufus puishes him out the window]

Reno: EYYYYYYAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Lands in the honey bee inn] YEAH! WOOOOO! THANKS BOSS!

Rufus: Anyway play the clip from the talk show I had last year. [Shinra guard rools clip]

[Last years talk show]

Rufus: We have special guests today. Meet Emperor Gehstal and Kefka! [Crappy music plays in the background]

Reno: [Sees Kefka] Who are you?

Kefka: Kefka humble servent to Emperor Gehstal. He mistreasts me a LOT.

Reno. [Sniffle] S-so this is what it's like when doves c-cry......[They both hug and cry]

Rufus: Thank you Gehstal for coming. But We can't have you on any longer.

Gehstal: What? I didn't even talk! This means WAR Shinra!

Rufus: Oh boohoo what will I ever do fighting with an under equipped nation?

Gehstal: Then I'll get my own Mako company! With Blackjack a-and hookers! Aw forget the Mako company!

Rufus: Our next guest is the one and only Garland from FF1 and Cid Highwind from FF7 which is the game I am in.

Garland: Thank you for having me. I think you fancy 3D guys should follow your roots.

Rufus: But your entire script was written on one side of a cocktail napkin. You guys didn't even have chocobo's!

Garland: What was that pretty boy?

Cid: Hey that's my insult for him! I'm gonna shove this spear up your 8-bit ass!

Garland: Try it pilot boy! [Cid picks up Garland and throws him out of the Shinra Building making a Garland shaped break on the glass]

Cid: What an annoyance.

Gehstal: You're telling me. That guy had the worst lines ever. That game was hardly a normal RPG.

Kefka: Yeah what an annoyance eh Rufus? RUFUS?

Rufus: Oh sorry. [Put's away a PlayPrez magazine] What were you saying?

Cid: About me. As you know I am the unnofical mayor of Rocket town.

Rufus: But the Rocket belongs to Shinra inc.

Cid: Yes it does.

Rufus: You're acting like a 5 year old.

Cid: Uh-Uh

Rufus: Uh-Huh.

Cid: Would a five year old sound like this you bitch slapping $hit eater?

Rufus: Hey! You can't say that on T.V.!

CId: *&%*&&%^*&^*&^*&%&^%&&^&^&$^$$%$&$&$$&&^$&*&$^%^%^&%^&$%$@$#!@$^$%&&*(%&^(&%^#$^#^%#%^%##^#%#%^#%^#%^#%^#%^^%%(^^&@@$#%^**)+_(%^%$^&$&^ YOU PREZ!

Gehstal: Woah.

Kefka: Wow.

Reno: Damn. [Elena,Tsueng and Rude come up in thier nightclothes]

Elena: What the hell was that noise? I was having the perfect dream.

Tsueng: Yeah. Reno what are you doing here?

Reno: I'm the comic relief.

Rude: Comedy eh?

Rude,Elena&Tsueng: WE CAN DO COMEDY TOO!

Tsueng: Hey guys did you know that Rufus still sucks his thumb?

Elena: Did you know the President still watches Pokemon?

Rude: NO! NO! He watches Digimon too! And Blues Clues!

Rufus: No I don't! [Stuffs Blues Clues Video's in his desk] SHUT UP ALL OF YOU! THIS SHOW IS ENDING!

[Clip stops]

Rufus: The show was taken off the next day. Citizens of Shinra Goodnight. Don't forget Heidegger's movie reviews are on Next. [Crappy music plays in the background]

Please E-mail me!