I'm baaaack! Been forever, amiright. Amiright? But, yeah, I've been working on this, an original story in Susannah's honor, and then I've got school. Which includes a bug collection for BIO, and I've procrastinated waaaay too long on that one. xD So... yeah, been busy. But I've got this one done, and I can finally post it! One of my besties, Caroline (mentioned in my last story), basically beta'd this for me. She read most of it over and made a couple of corrections, but she missed a few. So, thanks to her!

Me: So, I've stalled enough. Time to get on with it! Er, Ed? Roy? Where are you guys.

-muffled moans in background-

Me: Okay then! Well, we might see them at the end of the chapter! But right now they're -ahem- busy. Moving along!

Warning: Blood from attempted suicide, foul language (come on, it's EDWARD!) and yaoi in later chapters. If you do not know what yaoi is, it is boy x boy lovey-doveyness, as in two guys in love and, more than likely, having sex. Because I have a dirty fangirl mind!

Chapter 1

He'd traveled so long, been what felt like everywhere. They had no luck finding the Stone. His promise to Al was crumbling right before his eyes, and no matter how hard he tried to catch the pieces, they slipped right through his fingers. It was killing him. He couldn't keep the promise; he was seeing that now. That knowledge made him want to die. Why couldn't it have been him, that day so long ago? Him that had gotten torn away and not Al? Then he wouldn't be tortured by all this.

How many times had he almost died, anyways? Too many to count. Each time, he'd been terrified and had fought for his life, but now- Now he wondered why he'd done it. Why he'd postponed the inevitable. He'd be happy to go back now and just let someone kill him. But back then, he thought he could actually find the Philosopher's Stone and return his brother's soul to his body- his real body.

"Why can't it just end?" Edward breathed, sitting alone in his and Al's military-issued dormitory. Alphonse had left long ago, but Ed had missed where his brother was going. And as long as he stayed gone long enough, he didn't really care. The room was cool, a fan whipping the air around. It brushed his bare shoulders and flesh arm, causing chill bumps to rise. Or maybe they were in response to the knowledge of what he was about to do. It would leave Al all alone, but he couldn't take it anymore.

He'd not thought of himself as weak for a long time. Young, definitely. Confused and emotional, sometimes. Nina was an example of that. But weak? Not for years. He'd beaten so many obstacles in his life that there was no way. At least, that's what he'd thought. For the first time since he and Al had failed to bring their mother back, Ed thought- knew- he was weak.

And that's why, when he finally raised the blade and brought it roughly across his wrist, it wasn't deep enough. Still, blood gushed out, stained Winry's beloved automail and dripped over his black leather pants. Growling, he threw it across the room. It landed with a clang, the last sound in the room for a while besides Edward's heavy breathing and the occasional plat of his blood hitting leather or the hard floor.

"My brother- I was a fool." Since the cut wasn't deep, it was a slow process. Rather annoying, really. He wanted it over with. He'd like to say it was just because didn't want to be here. Honestly, it was because he didn't want to have the time to turn around and change his mind. After all, his determination, no matter how strong it had been for all of his life before, had been failing him the past few weeks.

Already, he could almost hear his mother's voice. Trisha's voice. The reason they were in this damn mess in the first place. They'd just wanted to hear her voice again, see her face. Feel her slender fingers ruffle their hair. And Ed had believed he could do it. Even though so many others- others who were more experienced than he was- had failed. He'd been wrapped up in dreams. 'It can't fail.' he'd told Al. It was flawless. Only it wasn't. And why hadn't he listened?

Someone knocked on the door as his eyes fluttered closed in hopes that death might come quicker. His head tilted in the direction of the door, his eyes opening halfway. A growl- quiet and irritated- rumbled in his throat. Whoever was behind the door knocked again. "Fullmetal. Open the door." No. Not that voice. Because, no matter what, the owner of that voice would get what he wanted. And if he got that door open before Ed bled out, his suicide attempt would be just that- an attempt. Like that stupid human transmutation he and Al had done. Except, this time, no one would die, and that had been the goal.

Roy Mustang. Why did he have to knock on the door today?

And then the Colonel was standing in front of him. Ed hadn't even known he'd gotten he door open. "What the fuck are you doing, Edward?" At the use of his real name- not the 'Fullmetal' Roy insisted on calling him at all times- Edward looked up, and Roy almost flinched. Ed's golden eyes, usually so lively, were dull. The fact that this boy had lost his will to live- and that it showed so clearly in his eyes and the blood on the floor- was what made Roy move again.

Roy felt numb as he ripped a strip of cloth off a blood-soaked shirt near his foot, then knelt down and grabbed Ed's hand. "Don't fucking touch me, you bastard." Edward tried to yank his hand away. Roy held tighter and proceeded to wrap the bleeding wound.

"Shut up, Ed." The younger alchemist twisted his head away, letting it lay back against the wall. He felt the cloth tied tight around his wrist, and Roy press his hand against it. "The hell were you thinking?" No answer. One hadn't been expected. And then Roy gathered the young alchemist- the boy who had grown old far before his time- and lifted him into the air. Again, no reaction. The Flame Alchemist sighed and carried him out of the room, out of the dorms, and to the infirmary. The whole time, Edward's bleeding wrist dangled over the ground and an occasional drop would fall to mix with the tear-drop rain.

Ed's eyes were closed, his breathing slow, when Roy walked into the building. The older felt panic rise in his chest, but he clamped down on it. A nurse at the front desk looked up, smiled. The words 'Can I help you?' didn't even begin to form before Roy broke in. "He needs a doctor. Now. Before he bleeds out." The nurse pursed her lips and nodding, giving Ed a once over before turning to page a doctor. "It'll be okay, Edward." Would it be?

The doctor came with a different nurse and took Edward. The whole they were taking care of Edward, Roy sat in the waiting room. It was killing him, the quiet. He'd never liked hospitals. Or doctors. Or anything that reminded him of either of the two.

A little while later, the doctor that had taken Edward from him when they'd first come in came back and gestured for Roy to follow him. The Colonel stood up and did as he was told. The doctor explained everything as they walked: Ed's depression, how they'd stopped the bleeding, everything. And then, right as they stopped in front of the door leading to Ed's room, the doctor grabbed the door handle and held it. "He could try again. In fact, I'm fairly sure that, given the chance, he'd do it in a heartbeat. And, that time, he'd probably find a quicker way of doing it. Therefore, I'd suggest he not be left alone. You two can discuss where he can stay; I know his history, and I'm aware he doesn't have a home. Regardless of this, he needs a stable environment and someone to keep an eye on him at all times."

Roy swallowed hard as he listened to the doctor, nodding once the older man finished speaking. "I'll talk to him about it."

"Thank you, Colonel. I'll be back later to check in and hear what you and Mr. Elric have decided." The doctor- Roy hadn't even thought to get his name- let go of the door handle and left. Roy went into his subordinate's room after taking a breath to steady himself.

"You'd better not tell Alphonse." The door hadn't even closed. Roy looked up to find Edward looking- no, glaring- at him. Great. His job had just gotten an assload harder, and it had barely even started.

There you have it! Chapter One of Fading Too Fast! I have SEVEN words of the next chapter written. Oh yeah, cause I'm just that awesome.

Ed: She typed those just so she could say she'd done it.

Roy: -snickers-

Me: Shut up, you two! Or do I need to tell everyone what you were doing at the beginning of the chapter? Because you know how much I love my details! -evil grin-

Roy: Not necessary!

Me: Thought so.

Ed: Madarao says she will not update again until she gets reviews. If you want her to continue, you'd better review and tell her so! I wanna know what happens to me!

Me: Until I get my reviews! Ciao!

hugs&kisses~Madarao