Fanfiction numero uno- thought I'd start with a one shot in case it turned out to be that bad. Thank you to my twin InMyOwnSpecialWay for cackling madly. Please enjoy
Making a toast and one too many.
Shots may not have been a good idea in hindsight, but when you have plenty of toasts to make, you need an appropriate level of drink. It was a muggle club, Harry didn't want to go anywhere people might notice him, his lay-low strategy seemed to have a few flaws as at the moment he was dancing on a table and letting women push muggle money down his pants. Hermione and Ginny were sharing secrets that Ron would rather they didn't, it unnerved him especially the way they burst out cackling at inopportune moments.
Harry jumped down from the table rather unsuccessfully and created a domino effect of nearly middle-aged women falling to the ground. Ignoring the catastrophe he quickly jumped up and declared that they should take over the nightclubs of London. The clubs gradually got seedier and as Ron was mistaken for a barman the night also got hazier.
Harry and Ginny had taken bodyshots to a whole new level of inappropriate which must have been mentally-scarring most of the 14 year olds as this was a special night for under 15's. After being thrown out of that particular club Hermione decided to pick the next one; a drag club called 'All the gays'.
They were waiting in line; Harry was loudly singing 'The war is over, Hogwarts is saved' in the presence of very scared and confused muggles. Hermione and Ginny decided to get adventurous heading to the front of the line they flashed the bouncer and were allowed immediate entrance, Ron and Harry had to wait in line although they did try a similar tactic. This is when the trouble really started in Ron's opinion. Well it would be in Ron's opinion he was the only one who had even a slight grasp on reality. In Harry's opinion he was a Vegas show girl, Hermione was thinking about sex and sex alone and Ginny was shouting 'woo' at random intervals, whilst spinning in a circle.
It took Ron a while to notice the pole dancers on stage weren't women (not originally anyway). Ron was confused at this point he was usually declaring his love for random muggles and inanimate objects, but right now despite all the body and non-body shots he was relatively non-trashed, sighing he dug a joint out of his pocket and lit it.
The effective was almost immediate; he breathed deep and dug his way into the mass of bodies surrounding his wife. Her hips swayed not in time with the music as she spun around haphazardly, Ron snaked his arms around her waist and passed her the spliff she took a long drag and Ron's world changed.
This world consisted of flashing lights dancing before his eyes and a lot of incoherent thought. Ron was as awesome as Harry, he could conjure weed, he would conjure weed Harry couldn't do that. Ron was greatly amused by how is wife and best friend and sister changed. Hermione whilst insisting-at least she thought she was- that she wasn't high started a conga line, in which nobody followed, it was a good 10minutes before she realized and three herself at Ron before bursting out in laughter.
Ginny made good use of Ron's supply by sliding along the bar with a high screech of 'wheeee!'
The bartender (no longer Ron) was talking about Brooms and Privates to Harry who was taking handfuls of cash out of his trousers. This was slightly too informal for Ron but he started to take his clothes off anyway. Somewhere in his confusion Ron had swapped clothes with Harry who was now wearing Ginny's.
All of a sudden they weren't in the club but they could hear the club and there were only three tops but four people. Harry wanted to celebrate his schizophrenia or something, so apparently they needed champagne in order to toast random members of the wizarding community among other things. In all honesty most of the toasts were made to Neville-who according to Ginny was apparently a very good lover- as they gradually forgot each others names.
After what must have been the thirty-sixth shot (wizards are rather good at math) well at estimating anyway, Harry and Ginny decided to get far too familiar with each other to a level that a pornwizard would feel uncomfortable. Ron, coming to his senses once Hermione had fallen off his lap laughing loudly, decided this would be a good time to fight Harry. This ended shortly as Ron and Harry both received bruises and black eyes but not necessarily from each other. Too soon the weed ran out, making all four very -ahem- frisky and also hungry, without any real conscious decisions, apart from shouting "everyone back to mine" they all apparated to their respective homes.
Due to this Ron had to replace his beard and eyebrows which he splinched.
Ron and Hermione quickly learned that the act of opening a door had all of a sudden got a lot more difficult.
"Shh!" Hermione whispered loudly, as she fumbled with the door key.
"I'm being quiet." Ron shouted, "This is my indoor voice!" They both dissolved into fits of giggles as they crossed the threshold.
"My head hurts, like a balloon," Hermione groaned
"I love your head," said Ron, aiming a kiss at Hermione's head and failing.
"I love you too," said Hermione laughing/crying, "I think I've had too much to drink"
"You can't have because I dunno," Ron reasoned
"Remember that..." Hermione burst into hysterical laughter "and..and" she gasped before laughing again, "I'm hungry," she sighed.
"I want to eat you all up." Ron slurred
"You're such a romantic." Hermione threw herself at him for the eighth time that night and they tumbled to the floor with a thump.
A light flicked on above them.
"Mum? Dad? What's going on?" asked Hugo
So what did you think? Review and i'll- well i don't know you're probably hundreds of miles away-i'll reply if you're not all my mother under different pennames.