It's strange when life carries on, when love necessarily doesn't.
Tonight, I can't sleep. Edward's arms hold me, creating barriers that I can't break free of. That's exactly how I always feel - trapped, nearly suffocating from this overwhelming, overprotecting love. A duvet's thrown over me, but I'm still frozen. Doesn't he care that he's keeping me awake? Doesn't he care that he's ruined everything?
I can feel his eyes on me, watching me sleep, and I shiver. But the tremor running throughout my body has nothing to do with the cold. One freezing, spider-like hand is playing with my hair in irritating fashion, twirling a piece around his finger repeatedly. Can't he just, respect certain boundaries? No. It's nearly impossible for Edward to possibly back off, but could he try? I long for dreams to come so I can return to that happy-place in my imagination where there's a place on my face and no pain in my heart.
From where I lie, I can see out of the window. What a beautiful starry night, the skies lit up by the magnificent constellations. I wish I knew the names of some them, but I'm content with just admiring them for now. I wonder if Jacob's looking up at the stars tonight, and if he's wishing on the brightest, most exceptional one up there - like I am. I hope he's wishing for me, much like I'm wishing for him.
Who knows, maybe if we wish for each other at the exact time, it quite possibly can come true.
Morning comes, and I hastily stumble out of bed, finally out of Edward's icy embrace, and I hurriedly get changed in the bathroom. When Edward see's the expression on my face when I walk out, he demands to know what's wrong - "What's the matter, sweetheart?" His brow furrows with alarm. Arms reach outwards, trying to capture me to his chest. I step back, shaking my head. "Bella? Are you alright? You look a bit sick. Shall I get Carlisle? Sit down." He orders.
Instead, I turn and my shaky legs rush me down the stairs, and it's with urgency that I get out of the Cullen's' house. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, Edward lets me. Highly unusual, and I mull this thought over while I speed all the way home. Maybe he picked up the melancholy even I felt radiating off me, and how unhappy I was.
How unhappy he made me.
Last night, I wished upon a star, because nothing else had seemed to work. I wished upon a star for Jacob Black.