Disclaimer: I own nothing…
A/N: Okay, I know it isn't one of my best works but I think it gets the idea of Portlyn wanting Chad and knowing she'll never have him across. Which is what I intended to write about. I'll admit – my Tawni one was way better but, if it's okay, can you please give this a try? I'm thinking of writing more SWAC fics and I hope to post a Channy multi-chap as well.
Summary: 'Something about you always reminds me of the beach, I don't know whether it's your sandy hair, your ocean blue eyes or the fact that the closest I'll ever get to being with you is a distant faded memory.' Portlyn centric oneshot. Story better than summary.
I don't get how people can hate the beach.
Seriously,
How can anyone hate a place so lovely?
You're kind of like the beach as well.
In your own way.
You're both screwed up,
Full of trash,
Constantly surrounded by people who don't even deserve to be in your presence.
And yet,
There's still something enchanting about you.
Something so wondrous,
Marvellous,
Perfect.
And no, I'm not talking about your acting.
Unfortunately,
You also resemble the beach in one, extremely important way:
You both make me happy.
It's too bad I can't do the same for you.
You always tell me how Sonny makes you feel happy.
How she makes you feel so alive.
How you love Sonny.
I remember how you used to love me.
What sucks even more, though,
Is that Sonny is the sun to your beach.
She's so bright,
Positive,
Caring,
Loving.
She's a million times better than me in every way, shape and form.
And she doesn't even try.
I wish I could hate the two of you together,
Oh God, I wish my blood could start fizzing at the sight of you both holding hands.
I wish my head would start pounding every time you wrapped your arms around her.
Arms that should be wrapped around me.
But,
Every time that I look at you two,
All of that hatred is directed at myself.
At the fact that I'm getting in the way of something beautiful.
At the fact that I'm getting in the way of love.
Every time I look at you two,
A little part of me fades away.
A little part of me disappears.
And I don't know where it's gone, or how I can get it back.
Sometimes, when I see you,
Without her.
I feel a spark return,
A glimmer of hope leaking into my system,
A single shot of happiness.
Then she walks in.
And that single shot of happiness drops dead.
Your eyes.
Dear God, those eyes.
Those unfathomable, never-ending pools of blue.
Remind me of the sea.
Every time I glance into those eyes,
I feel like I'm at home,
Lying underneath the stars,
The sand sliding between my toes,
The cool, sparkling sea lapping against my all-too-dry limbs,
Soothing me to sleep,
And there's you, stroking my hair,
Sitting right next to me.
You're always by my side in this fantasy.
Only you.
Every time I glance into those eyes,
I feel like I'm where I belong.
Your golden hair is the sand within the beach,
I'm glad that my character spends most of her time walking around with her fists clenched;
It's all I can do to stop myself from reaching out and stroking those glorious locks.
I've always wondered how they'd feel,
Originally, I envisioned silk,
Slippery, soft, smooth silk – my fingers skating over the surface every time I'd reach out to make contact.
But then I discovered I was allergic to silk fibres.
I changed my image to fur,
Immaculate, tufty, rich fur – my hands gliding through it as if it were a forest.
But now I know what it actually feels like,
Moist sand.
Allowing my fingers to ski through, pressing down against my palms.
Rich, lavish and completely natural.
Moist sand is a way better texture than all the rest.
Chad Dylan Cooper is way better than all the rest.
That's why I can never have him,
Or his moist sand hair.
That perfect smile of yours constantly hangs over me,
Kind of like the sky.
Whenever I look up, it's always there,
You'd think I'd find it annoying by now,
But,
Strangely enough,
It's comforting.
I never want it to leave.
The clouds that usually condense it, however,
Are gone.
They left ever since she moved in.
I wish I could have had that much of an impact on your life.
Instead of being the forgotten one who you'll sit back and try to remember years into the future,
Once you've settled down and started a family.
With her.
A family of bewitchingly beautiful children with condescending blue orbs, lips red as roses and golden curls that shimmer in the limelight.
A family that I'll never be part of.
I can practically feel another part of me disappearing as I think about it.
That's another thing that makes you similar to the beach.
No matter how much I want you,
Desire you,
Need you,
Lust for you,
Dream about you,
Love you.
The closest I'll ever get to being with you, is a distant faded memory.