WARNINGS: This is an anti-yaoi/yuri fic, though it does not seem like it at first, so it may offend some.
I choked on impact and sputtered in disbelief.
"Wha-what?"
You know the theme song for Victorious? That one Victoria Justice sings? Well, there's one line that goes "You know that if you live in your imagination…" I always pictured someone in a straightjacket. You have to admit, if you choose to live in your imagination, an asylum is where you'll be headed. "…tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination." That's true, at least, with fanfiction. If you create an intricate storyline, throw in some good plot devices, a well-devised climax, an ironic or cute (possibly depressing) ending, and maybe even an alluring hook, you're sure to fascinate some and hopefully, you'll receive reviews. Well, I think I pretty much covered that on my last fic, "Friendly Fire." It was an AkuRoku and I'd say it was well thought out. It had some yuri at the end (Xion x Namine) that I wasn't too thrilled about, but, hey, got me more reviews than my others. I remember, just yesterday, looking over my Legacy Story Stats. 236 reviews, 58 people added me to their favorite authors, 378 added the story to alert, 72 people added me to alert, and 493 people added the story to favorites, and the cherry on top being 24,976 hits. Man, I felt on fire! But so much has changed since then. So much.
It had started when I got home from school on Friday. No, scratch that. It had started when I first opened up that Word Document and began writing. But the weird stuff had started then. And I know it was my own fault, but I'd still like to point out that if my younger sister, Abigail, hadn't answered the door, then maybe I'd be at Jessica Kilema's party right now.
Crap. Now I'm getting ahead of myself. My name's Kyle, by the way. Probably should've told you that before I ranted about the lyrics to "Make it Shine," and for the record, I don't watch that show. My sister, hopefully I told you her name, does and it plays so loud I can hear it. Anyways, I was sitting on the couch, popping open the tab of a Monster, letting the fizz explode in my hand, bubbling over and resting on the metallic rim as I sloshed it about, trying to get it back into the can through the whole. Then the doorbell rang. And why would I get it if my sister was home and I had obvious just gone through a stressful day at school? Well, I didn't even have to open my mouth to protest, she was already running down the stairs eagerly. I hated when she did that. Like the person at the door had a package for her she knew she never ordered.
"Hello!" she greeted cheerfully. Yeah, she was a Little Miss Ball of Sunshine kind of sister who never got in trouble. Albeit, she never actually did snitch on me, and when I went out for joy rides (though I'm seventeen, I just failed to get my license) or ordered something over the internet with my mom's credit card, her lips were always sealed. But she NEVER got in trouble! And no, by some miraculous miracle, she wasn't a prep who turned up her nose at anime and all that Japanese crap most white, hicks hate on. She actually watched things like Black Butler, Fairy Tail, Naruto, Host Club, and Code Geass with me, played things like Final Fantasy X, Crystal Chronicles, Legend of Zelda, Final Fantasy XIII, Dissidia, Assassin's Creed, Tales of Vesperia, Tales of Legendia, Kingdom Hearts, and read Manga, like Inuyasha, as well as some of the comics I was into, The Sad Circus by the Sea. In fact, I wouldn't like to admit it, but every time I got frustrated with a boss fight, I'd toss her the controller and she'd smile while taking down whoever the boss was using only one try. She even beat Sephiroth in KH1 and KH2. (Though it was annoying when she called him "Sephy" when it was over.) But for some reason she hates Call of Duty and Halo. I asked her why and she told me she lived for cutscenes, everything else was just something you had to get through, like the mushy brown parts of Lucky Charms, ergo, she didn't like the cutscenes ("if you could call them that," she said) in any of those games.
But now that you've got some background on her, (I'm guessing you've already made your background assumption about me. I'm right, aren't I?) let's get back to some eventful narrative.
"Hi…" a familiar voice replied.
"Is Feeling-da-Aster here?"
I tensed up, hearing my penname spoken aloud…and by such a familiar voice.
"Um," she giggled, "I guess you could call him that." She twisted back around to face me,
"Kyle, did you invite some cosplayers over?"
"What do you mean?" I slowly got up off of the couch and set the Monster down on the coffee table.
"Well, it sure is a crowd. They're really good. I can see a bunch of characters I recognize!" she called again like it was the most amusing thing in the world. Actually, if it hadn't happened to me, and there weren't a bunch of serious problems afterwards, I probably would've been amused. But I wasn't amused. Just annoyed.
"Tell them to get the f–" Then I saw them. Cosplayers. Really, really good cosplayers. There was an Axel, perfect height, too, but obviously using stilts or platform shoes or some sort of elevating contraption. The hair was spiked perfectly, and he obviously didn't you Splat, the color looked so real. There was also a Xion, and Xion doesn't have a very flamboyant appearance, so she probably didn't have to try so hard, but the coat looked nice. I never did see another coat like that that had the zipper a perfect silver, and that big. Truly, no one ever got the zipper right. Then there was a Roxas, his coat spot on, as well as his jelled spikes. There was a Namine, and her hair was a too-perfect sallow color. And just beyond them were the trio of the first game; Sora, Riku, and Kairi, all looking exactly like the video game characters.
"Who are you guys?"
"Who do we look like?" Axel asked, infuriated. Now that I looked closer, I could see his eyebrows were also as short as Axel's in the game.
"Like cosplayers." The girl dressed as Xion rolled her eyes. The rest of them just laughed.
"We do look like cosplayers, don't we?" Axel turned to Roxas.
"Yeah, no kidding, Sherlock." He laughed, amiably punching him on the shoulder.
"What the heck is going on?" I inquired, rolling my eyes. Why where such freaks wasting my time?
Kairi smiled sweetly as she turned to my sister,
"Are your parents around?"
"No. They're both at work."
"I know you're not supposed to go with strangers, but trust me," she offered a hand, "you're not going to want to stick around here for much longer."
"Wha-what's going on?"
"It's nothing," she assured her, her hand reaching further toward my sister, "It'll only be just you and me, the others are going to be staying here with Feeling-da-Aster."
She turned to me,
"Kyle, I'm scared." I snorted.
I heartlessly snorted.
My sister took the stranger's hand. And I hadn't felt an ounce of regret at the moment, either.
The girl dressed as Kairi whispered something in her ear. She gave a longing and sad gaze towards me, then walked off with the cosplayer.
"Now that she's got the little one to safety…" Axel smiled. Without warning, he punched me in the gut. I choked on impact and stuttered with disbelief.
"Wha-what?"
And then, I felt like that Victorious song. I really was living in my imagination. All of the cosplayers gathered (save Namine who just sat back and enjoyed the show) summoned (that's right, summoned, as in flashy, shiny, puffs of blue) keyblades (Axel settled for his Chakrams). And then they attacked.
And it can only be described as, (through ironically cliché words) a "flurry of dancing flames."
Now instead of feeling on fire, I was on fire. Not to mention bruised and beaten. And all I could hear were their battle cries and taunts. Along with Axel and Roxas saying things like,
"You never had any really close friends before? That doesn't mean we're gay!"
"What about you and your best friend, huh? Are you guys secret lovers? Man, have you ever seen us kiss? No, cause we haven't!"
Namine was taunting along with Xion, but did not take part in the fight,
"That's just disgusting!"
"Yeah, we only met once! How could we have known each other like that? A relationship takes time and feelings, it isn't something you should joke about!"
"I…I wasn't…joking…" I somehow managed to get out between blows and punches and fire.
"Oh, so that was real to you? You sick, sadistic b– Xion hit harder!" Namine called furiously.
"And don't forget us! We still haven't forgotten about that Soriku fic!"
And the beatings just kept coming and coming.
As I groaned on and endured the beating, little did any of us know, but some ways away the man behind Varanus was sitting on a couch when there was a knock on his door. He would answer to find Aqua, Terra, and Ventus say,
"We heard about your little threesome idea."
AN:
Yeah, I put my AMAmazing best friend Abigail in this fic…sort of. Btw, love Varanus, he is hilarious. And no, I don't actually know where he lives. And, yes, "feeling the aster" is a YJ joke. I find that offensive to the character Aster from the Tales of… series.
Yeah. I'm going to get flamed for this. I realize that. But just keep this in mind. Flames fuel hot air balloons.
Now how are hot air balloons relevant, you may ask.
And I may say, good question.