So this is a one shot about sort of brother sister bonding for Alec and Clary, I know they ain't brother and sister but I wanted to write it, if it gets good reviews I'll make it a two shot. 'Never on their own' is still on hiatus because of writers block and art course work. GCSE's are a pain in the arse. Enjoy. I know in the film Alec wears short sleeves but just pretend he doesn't.

Self harm is an awful thing and something I have experienced first hand. If you or anyone you know is harming yourself or their self in any way, get help but it's too late. I was lucky it was nearly out of control when I got help and I narrowly missed death, but not everyone's that lucky.

Clary opened the door to Alec's room as quietly as she could and peered into the darkness. Looking around, she could make out a Alec sized shape asleep on the bed, good, she thought, judging from how much noise he made during the night he needed the sleep. Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she texted Jace, who was waiting in his room, to say 'He's fine, asleep. I'll check in all the places I can for the blades, C xx'.

She slowly made her way across his floor in almost darkness trying not to step on anything. Unfortunately she failed, she felt something shape dig in to the corner of her foot, although it felt like a familiar shape. She bent down and felt around for whatever had hurt her. She was right, the think she had stepped on was a sketch book.

Flipping through the pages, she was shocked by what she saw. Alec was a extremely talented artist, the kind of artist a Clary wished she was. His people seemed to have lights in their eyes and a texture to their hair. She focused on who the people in the drawings were, rather than how they were drawn. On the first page was Max, when he was a toddler, the drawing was obviously from a photograph or drawn a very long time ago. She turned the next page and saw Isabelle and their Mother, Maryse. They could have passed for sisters, with them both in their Shadowhunting gear and they hair tied back in neat buns, the picture obviously not posed. The next drawing was of Jace and the next was of Clary. All the drawings after that were of Magnus, him with blue fire crackling on his fingertips, him asleep, him with no glitter and his hair flat.

'Clary, what are you doing?'.

Jumping from the noise, Clary dropped the sketch book and whirled around, Alec was sat up, having been awoken by Clary. There was purple bags under his eyes and there was a slight redness to his eyelids, his hair was a mess and his icy blue eyes with tired and sad. His clothes were rumpled and Clary imagined he stunk of sweat and tears.

'I came too see how you were, Alec. To check you were okay'.

'I'm okay, Clary', he paused he added 'Thank you' as an after thought. Clary bent down to pick up the sketch book and re-opened it.

'Do you mind? You have a real talent'. Alec shook his head, but Clary couldn't decide if he was saying no he didn't mind, or no he thought he didn't have a talent.

'Alec, I know you were lying when you said you were fine, I know your not'.

'Clary, I need to except what happened, I was the one who tried to shorten Magnus's life, I was the one who lied'.

Clary reached the end of the sketch book 'You've lost who you were, you're different now. Do you have anymore sketch books?'. Alec pulled open a draw by his bed and it was filled with art things. Watercolours, acrylic paint, oil pastels, charcoal, oil paint, paint brushes, pencils, everything. And several old and tattered sketch books.

Passing them to Clary, she opened the top one. A picture of herself was the first drawing.

'Sorry'.

Clary turned to Alec, 'What are you sorry for?'.

'Creeping you out, but you have nice eyes and I thought that it would be nice to try and draw them'.

'No ones ever wanted to draw me before. I know you hate me, but you can talk to me, I won't judge you'.

'I don't hate, I think of you as my sister now. I know I was horrible to begin with but you some how knew my weakest point'.

'I used it against you. Everyone's worried about you'.

'Magnus isn't. He won't answer any of my calls. He won't talk to me'.

Siting down next to Alec, Clary asked 'How often do you call him?'.

'About thirty times a day. He's answered once only to tell me to leave him alone'.

'He loves you, Alec. But you hurt him, badly and you need to give him time, Magnus will forgive you, in time'.

'Thank you, Clary. For trying to make me feel better. And it worked a little bit'.

Clary put her hand on Alec's arm, and tried to not notice how he flinched. 'Jace sent me in here, he wanted me to look for something for him. Blades. Why did he think you would have blades?'.

Pushing up his sleeves, Alec looked Clary in the eye 'I got bad when I was fifth teen or sixteen, it's why I never wear short sleeves, people would stare ever more than they normally do'. Clary's eyes widened with shock, Alec's lower arms were rough and textured with thick scars, thick layered scars.

'Im sorry Alec, I'm so sorry'.

'You have nothing to be sorry for'.

'We're popping out to Taki's in a hour or so. Wanna come along?'. Alec shook his head and the laid back down on his untidy bed. Clary walked towards the door, 'I'm glad we had this conversation, anything you ever want you can ask, bye Alec'.

And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand.
Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love, without, love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on.

I wasn't really sure about how I should end this but hey ho.