Rules and Regulations
Anamerium, the main court yard.
Alyssa: Cole!
Cole: Alyssa!
They fall into each other's arms and kiss.
Max: Ew! Guys, this is a kids show!
Cole and Alyssa look sheepish.
Cole: Oops.
Alyssa: Sorry.
Max: Now shut up and roll the opening credits someone! (He snaps his fingers).
Opening credits.
The following takes place where you can only see the opening credits and hear the voices of the characters. You can't actually see what's going on.
Cole: (Over the title music) Who put Max in charge? I'm the blazing lion!
Max: I'm the kid of the show. Kids get to take charge and organise things. It says so, right here.
Cole: Where?
Max: Right here, in this rule book! (The sound of scuffling and heaving can be heard, as if someone is trying to move big weight. Max's voice is now strained with effort.) Here. you. go.
The sound of a thud and a groan from Cole.
Alyssa: Max! Oh my god you killed Cole!
Max: Chill, oh innocent, bright and bouncy one, no one ever dies on power rangers. It says so in the book.
Alyssa: Where?
Max: There!
There is another thud and another moan, this time from Alyssa.
Max: Oh well, that's those two out of the way.
Cut back to Max, grinning. A giant book can be seen in the back ground, with Cole and Alyssa's legs sticking out from under it.
Max: And now, on with the show! (Snaps fingers. Nothing happens) Hello? I said, on with the show! (Nothing happens) Hey! Where did my worldly powers go to?
Taylor: (Teleporting in) Sorry Max, but considering that the show hasn't even started yet and you've already killed two of the main characters just by getting them to read the rule book, the director has given the worldly powers to someone with a less manic edge to their motives.
Max: Who? And where the hell did you come from?
Taylor: Oh, I just appeared were the writers put me. They can do that, you know.
Max: Says who? Taylor: Say's the rules book.
Max: Where?
Taylor: (To the audience) hmmm, a theme is appearing. (turns back to Max) Max, if we continue on this plot line everyone one of us will be dead before we've even established the plot line!
Max: So?
Taylor: (To the audience) Please excuse us one little minuet. (Calling off set) would someone bring a sensory board out here!
(She grabs Max by the collar. We just have time to see her drawing a fist when Merrick and Shyala race on carrying a large board with the word CENSORED painted on it. They hold it up, hiding the following butt kicking from view.)
Shyala: In the interests of our younger viewers, we advise all small children to shut there eyes now. Alternatively, run screaming from the room and complain about the overly active use of violence on these programs. Our producers would love to hear from you.
Merrick: Princess! The producers have already cut all the violence they can possibly get away with from the show! It wont be power rangers if they cut any more violence out of it!
Shyala: It will be, if our next worldly controller has anything to do with it.
Merrick: What do you mean?
Taylor suddenly appears from round the censored board, dragging a thoroughly beaten up looking Max by the ear. Merrick and Shyala drop the board.
Taylor: She means, the producers gave the worldly powers to-
Max: (Barely conscious) oh no. Not-
Cut to somewhere else. The screen is filled with flowers and the sound of birds song can be heard. The flowers all float slowly to the ground to reveal a big open, grassy meadow with butter cups, poppy's and other flowers growing in it. The sky is blue, the sun is shining and romantic music can be heard playing. From one side of the field appears Kendal in a long, white, floaty dress. On the other side appears Danny, in normal cloths. The pair of them begin to run in slow motion towards each other with arms out stretched.
All other rangers: (from off set) Danny!
The classic sound of a needle suddenly being yanked off a record and scratching it in the process is heard and the music stops. Shyala, Merrick, Taylor and Max appear, tramping across the field towards them and stop beside Danny.
Danny: Guys! You ruined my shot!
Max: (Almost recovered but with a black eye and several bruises) Danny, you can't put this stuff in Power Rangers!
Danny: Why not? And what happened to you?
Taylor hits max over the head.
Max: (About to pass out again, smiling serenely and obviously not all there) Taylor taught me a lesson.
He passes out. Merrick catches him, picks him and a slings him over his shoulder.
Taylor: You can't put this thing in power rangers because this is power rangers! We don't do romance!
Danny: What about Kim and Tommy?
Taylor: That was a long time ago. After they broke up, Tommy was so heart broken that he put in a rule saying there should be no more mushy stuff on power rangers.
Danny: How do you know that?
Taylor: (Exasperated) Look, all of what I have just said should have bean Cole's lines but somebody (glares at Max) killed him!
Danny: Oh. but what about Wes and Jen? They got their own romance!
Taylor: That's different.
Danny: How?
Entire cast of time force: (appearing out of nowhere) Because it is!
Danny: It isn't fair! (To the T/F cast) And you guys aren't suppose to be here!
Wes: Why not?
Taylor: Because your series is over!
Eric: But I've still got to ask you out!
Taylor: So ask me out now, while Danny's still in charge!
Eric: (looking embarrassed) I can't!
Taylor: Oh don't be such a wus! Eric: If you're so brave, you ask me out!
Taylor: (Looking embarrassed) But I can't!
Eric: Don't be such a wus!
Taylor: If you're so brave, you ask me out!
Eric: I can't!
Taylor: Don't be-
Shyala: (Hastily interrupting) Okay, okay! Let's deal with this before everyone dies of heart ache. (To Eric) Do you, Eric, take Taylor as you're illegally asked out date?
Eric: Yes!
Shyala: And do you, Taylor, take Eric as you're illegally asked out date?
Taylor: Yes!
Shyala: Ladies and gentlemen the first official date since Astronema went out with Zhane!
Merrick: Boy, that was a long time ago.
Shyala: Tell me about it.
Everybody cheers and looks happy. Zhane suddenly appears.
Zhane: Although, technically, that wasn't even a date. I mean, I ended up, up to my waist in pond water with twelve roasted long stem roses. I don't think that counts.
Karone: (appearing beside him with arms folded and a scowl on her face) Well you started it!
Ashley appears beside them, with a nail file, doing her nails.
Ashley: Uh, guys, hate to burst the bubble, but we are just sooo over. As in, last century. Literally.
Zhane: But we never got closure on the whole me and Karone thing!
Karone: Yeah, you know we were only focussed on in one episode but have one of the biggest fan bases in all of ranger shipper history? I know. I've read some of the fanfics.
Zhane: You have?
Karone: Well I was the all powerful, self-proclaimed-princess-of-evil for twelve years of my life. I think I might have some ability to hop into the real world long enough to read some of the fanfics about us.
Ashley: Well, we never got closure on the whole 'me and Andros' thing, either, did we? I mean, Andros came back for forever red, but did you hear a word about me? Noooo.
Karone: How come Andros got another look-in, anyway?
Andros: (appearing out of nowhere beside Ashley) Because I'm cute!
Ashley: (Still doing her nails) Go back to bed, Andros.
Andros: Yes dear. (He disappears.)
Karone: Why does Saban suck at romantic closure so much? Ashley: (loosing patience) You want closure? Fine. You got married to Zhane, had lots of kids and lived happily ever after, the end. Happy now?
Karone: Are you sure? I mean, when the whole Lost Galaxy thing came along, there are some fanfics out there were I end up with Leo.
Kendrix: (appearing out of nowhere) He's mine! (She promptly disappears again).
Karone: Okay, so he's spoken for. Zhane it is then. I always preferred silver to red, anyway.
She takes Zhane's arm and the pair disappear.
Ashley: Finally!
She also disappears.
Cole appears, out of nowhere.
Danny: I thought Max killed you!
Cole: Well, something really weird, complicated and completely inexplicable happened which will get absolutely no closure on the show, so either I died but came back, or didn't die at all but was somehow preserved. Happens all the time on this show. And now, for the sort of romantic scene you never get on power rangers these days.
Alyssa drops out of the sky, to be caught by Cole, and swung around in delight.
Crowd: Awww!
Saban: (Appearing) Arrgh! Stop! Find whoever handed the worldly powers over to members of the show and fire them! Danny, hand over those worldly powers, right now!
Danny: No!
Taylor: It's Saban!
Jen: The one who never gives us any closure?
Taylor: That's him!
Crowd: get him!
The entire cast of Time Force and Wild Force, minus Shyala and Merrick, fling themselves at Saban.
Merrick: Censor board time.
They whip and sensor board out of nowhere and hold it up in front of the following scene. The occasional blood curdling scream can be heard, coupled with whimpers from Saban. Merrick and Shyala occasionally peep round the board, and flinch at what they see.
Suddenly everything stops.
Merrick: Wait. Did they just kill Saban?
Shyala: I think so.
Merrick: But he created us. Without him we don't-
Suddenly, everything, including Merrick, Shyala and the field, disappears, leaving only whiteness, and the sensor board.
Quietly, Jason walks on. He looks about him, sees the censor board, looks at it, shakes his head, snaps it in half and carries the pieces off camera.
Kim walks on.
Kim: Hello? Anybody there?
Jason: (Walking on again) They've all disappeared.
Kim: Well I can see that!
Billy walks on, followed by Zack, Trini and Tommy.
Trini: What did they do?
Tommy: Young and foolish power rangers. They destroyed their own creator. See, that's why the producers never let power rangers run their own show. Most of us just aren't legend-ised enough to be able to cope with the responsibility. Us, on the other hand, we are the show.
Billy: Wait a minuet. If they killed Saban, how come we're still here?
Tommy: It's simple, really. As the oldest rangers, we're the only team with enough fanfics to keep us sustained without our creator. Kind of like. back up power when mains power in a hospital fails.
Zack: So. now what do we do?
Trini: We could create a new universe for ourselves.
Kim: Can we do that?
Trini: Sure we can. It would just. take a lot of work.
Zack: Ooh, okay, me and work, work and me. that don't sit well right now.
Kim: As the oldest power rangers, isn't it our duty to look after the youngest ones?
Jason: Yeah. Even if they are 'young and foolish', one day they'll be old enough to be legend-ised, like us, and one day they'll be experienced enough to handle it. Until then, I guess we gotta build up their universe for them.
Tommy: Well then, I guess we'll just have to work a little of the old power ranger magic.
Zack: But how do we bring Saban back? Without him, none of the others will exist.
Tommy: Don't you know by now? No one ever dies on this show.
Zack: why not?
Tommy: Because this is power rangers!
All others: Ohhh!
Tommy: One, two, three!
They all simultaneously snap their fingers.
Sparks fly out from their fingers and fly about. Saban reappears, lying on the ground, as do the other rangers, all in a pile, unconscious. The Animerium materialises around them. The sparks fly around the Time Force rangers, and they glow, then disappear. More sparks fly around Saban, and he too disappears. Everything reappears in its right place. The sparks seem to move the rangers into a row, lying on the stone floor. More sparks fly in, baring a blanket, which floats down to gently cover all the rangers, plus Shyala, like a giant duvet.
The older rangers look about them.
Tommy: When they wake up, they wont remember any of this.
Kim: Just as well.
Trini: So this is what the most recent incarnation looks like.
Jason: Not for much longer. You know what day it is?
Zack: Which one?
Jason: This is the night before the morning of the second last episode. The beginning of the end of Wild Force. (he pauses to look round, almost wistfully) I guess it was good while it lasted.
Tommy: Come on, guys. Time to go home, safe in the knowledge that we've provided a safe and stable world for the next generation of power rangers.
They all turn round, arms round each other's shoulders, and walk slowly towards the wall of the temple. As they reach it, sparkling lights twinkle and they disappear.
Kim's voice echoes off camera.
Kim: Good night, guys.
The sound of somebody snapping their fingers can be heard, and the screen goes blank.
The End
Anamerium, the main court yard.
Alyssa: Cole!
Cole: Alyssa!
They fall into each other's arms and kiss.
Max: Ew! Guys, this is a kids show!
Cole and Alyssa look sheepish.
Cole: Oops.
Alyssa: Sorry.
Max: Now shut up and roll the opening credits someone! (He snaps his fingers).
Opening credits.
The following takes place where you can only see the opening credits and hear the voices of the characters. You can't actually see what's going on.
Cole: (Over the title music) Who put Max in charge? I'm the blazing lion!
Max: I'm the kid of the show. Kids get to take charge and organise things. It says so, right here.
Cole: Where?
Max: Right here, in this rule book! (The sound of scuffling and heaving can be heard, as if someone is trying to move big weight. Max's voice is now strained with effort.) Here. you. go.
The sound of a thud and a groan from Cole.
Alyssa: Max! Oh my god you killed Cole!
Max: Chill, oh innocent, bright and bouncy one, no one ever dies on power rangers. It says so in the book.
Alyssa: Where?
Max: There!
There is another thud and another moan, this time from Alyssa.
Max: Oh well, that's those two out of the way.
Cut back to Max, grinning. A giant book can be seen in the back ground, with Cole and Alyssa's legs sticking out from under it.
Max: And now, on with the show! (Snaps fingers. Nothing happens) Hello? I said, on with the show! (Nothing happens) Hey! Where did my worldly powers go to?
Taylor: (Teleporting in) Sorry Max, but considering that the show hasn't even started yet and you've already killed two of the main characters just by getting them to read the rule book, the director has given the worldly powers to someone with a less manic edge to their motives.
Max: Who? And where the hell did you come from?
Taylor: Oh, I just appeared were the writers put me. They can do that, you know.
Max: Says who? Taylor: Say's the rules book.
Max: Where?
Taylor: (To the audience) hmmm, a theme is appearing. (turns back to Max) Max, if we continue on this plot line everyone one of us will be dead before we've even established the plot line!
Max: So?
Taylor: (To the audience) Please excuse us one little minuet. (Calling off set) would someone bring a sensory board out here!
(She grabs Max by the collar. We just have time to see her drawing a fist when Merrick and Shyala race on carrying a large board with the word CENSORED painted on it. They hold it up, hiding the following butt kicking from view.)
Shyala: In the interests of our younger viewers, we advise all small children to shut there eyes now. Alternatively, run screaming from the room and complain about the overly active use of violence on these programs. Our producers would love to hear from you.
Merrick: Princess! The producers have already cut all the violence they can possibly get away with from the show! It wont be power rangers if they cut any more violence out of it!
Shyala: It will be, if our next worldly controller has anything to do with it.
Merrick: What do you mean?
Taylor suddenly appears from round the censored board, dragging a thoroughly beaten up looking Max by the ear. Merrick and Shyala drop the board.
Taylor: She means, the producers gave the worldly powers to-
Max: (Barely conscious) oh no. Not-
Cut to somewhere else. The screen is filled with flowers and the sound of birds song can be heard. The flowers all float slowly to the ground to reveal a big open, grassy meadow with butter cups, poppy's and other flowers growing in it. The sky is blue, the sun is shining and romantic music can be heard playing. From one side of the field appears Kendal in a long, white, floaty dress. On the other side appears Danny, in normal cloths. The pair of them begin to run in slow motion towards each other with arms out stretched.
All other rangers: (from off set) Danny!
The classic sound of a needle suddenly being yanked off a record and scratching it in the process is heard and the music stops. Shyala, Merrick, Taylor and Max appear, tramping across the field towards them and stop beside Danny.
Danny: Guys! You ruined my shot!
Max: (Almost recovered but with a black eye and several bruises) Danny, you can't put this stuff in Power Rangers!
Danny: Why not? And what happened to you?
Taylor hits max over the head.
Max: (About to pass out again, smiling serenely and obviously not all there) Taylor taught me a lesson.
He passes out. Merrick catches him, picks him and a slings him over his shoulder.
Taylor: You can't put this thing in power rangers because this is power rangers! We don't do romance!
Danny: What about Kim and Tommy?
Taylor: That was a long time ago. After they broke up, Tommy was so heart broken that he put in a rule saying there should be no more mushy stuff on power rangers.
Danny: How do you know that?
Taylor: (Exasperated) Look, all of what I have just said should have bean Cole's lines but somebody (glares at Max) killed him!
Danny: Oh. but what about Wes and Jen? They got their own romance!
Taylor: That's different.
Danny: How?
Entire cast of time force: (appearing out of nowhere) Because it is!
Danny: It isn't fair! (To the T/F cast) And you guys aren't suppose to be here!
Wes: Why not?
Taylor: Because your series is over!
Eric: But I've still got to ask you out!
Taylor: So ask me out now, while Danny's still in charge!
Eric: (looking embarrassed) I can't!
Taylor: Oh don't be such a wus! Eric: If you're so brave, you ask me out!
Taylor: (Looking embarrassed) But I can't!
Eric: Don't be such a wus!
Taylor: If you're so brave, you ask me out!
Eric: I can't!
Taylor: Don't be-
Shyala: (Hastily interrupting) Okay, okay! Let's deal with this before everyone dies of heart ache. (To Eric) Do you, Eric, take Taylor as you're illegally asked out date?
Eric: Yes!
Shyala: And do you, Taylor, take Eric as you're illegally asked out date?
Taylor: Yes!
Shyala: Ladies and gentlemen the first official date since Astronema went out with Zhane!
Merrick: Boy, that was a long time ago.
Shyala: Tell me about it.
Everybody cheers and looks happy. Zhane suddenly appears.
Zhane: Although, technically, that wasn't even a date. I mean, I ended up, up to my waist in pond water with twelve roasted long stem roses. I don't think that counts.
Karone: (appearing beside him with arms folded and a scowl on her face) Well you started it!
Ashley appears beside them, with a nail file, doing her nails.
Ashley: Uh, guys, hate to burst the bubble, but we are just sooo over. As in, last century. Literally.
Zhane: But we never got closure on the whole me and Karone thing!
Karone: Yeah, you know we were only focussed on in one episode but have one of the biggest fan bases in all of ranger shipper history? I know. I've read some of the fanfics.
Zhane: You have?
Karone: Well I was the all powerful, self-proclaimed-princess-of-evil for twelve years of my life. I think I might have some ability to hop into the real world long enough to read some of the fanfics about us.
Ashley: Well, we never got closure on the whole 'me and Andros' thing, either, did we? I mean, Andros came back for forever red, but did you hear a word about me? Noooo.
Karone: How come Andros got another look-in, anyway?
Andros: (appearing out of nowhere beside Ashley) Because I'm cute!
Ashley: (Still doing her nails) Go back to bed, Andros.
Andros: Yes dear. (He disappears.)
Karone: Why does Saban suck at romantic closure so much? Ashley: (loosing patience) You want closure? Fine. You got married to Zhane, had lots of kids and lived happily ever after, the end. Happy now?
Karone: Are you sure? I mean, when the whole Lost Galaxy thing came along, there are some fanfics out there were I end up with Leo.
Kendrix: (appearing out of nowhere) He's mine! (She promptly disappears again).
Karone: Okay, so he's spoken for. Zhane it is then. I always preferred silver to red, anyway.
She takes Zhane's arm and the pair disappear.
Ashley: Finally!
She also disappears.
Cole appears, out of nowhere.
Danny: I thought Max killed you!
Cole: Well, something really weird, complicated and completely inexplicable happened which will get absolutely no closure on the show, so either I died but came back, or didn't die at all but was somehow preserved. Happens all the time on this show. And now, for the sort of romantic scene you never get on power rangers these days.
Alyssa drops out of the sky, to be caught by Cole, and swung around in delight.
Crowd: Awww!
Saban: (Appearing) Arrgh! Stop! Find whoever handed the worldly powers over to members of the show and fire them! Danny, hand over those worldly powers, right now!
Danny: No!
Taylor: It's Saban!
Jen: The one who never gives us any closure?
Taylor: That's him!
Crowd: get him!
The entire cast of Time Force and Wild Force, minus Shyala and Merrick, fling themselves at Saban.
Merrick: Censor board time.
They whip and sensor board out of nowhere and hold it up in front of the following scene. The occasional blood curdling scream can be heard, coupled with whimpers from Saban. Merrick and Shyala occasionally peep round the board, and flinch at what they see.
Suddenly everything stops.
Merrick: Wait. Did they just kill Saban?
Shyala: I think so.
Merrick: But he created us. Without him we don't-
Suddenly, everything, including Merrick, Shyala and the field, disappears, leaving only whiteness, and the sensor board.
Quietly, Jason walks on. He looks about him, sees the censor board, looks at it, shakes his head, snaps it in half and carries the pieces off camera.
Kim walks on.
Kim: Hello? Anybody there?
Jason: (Walking on again) They've all disappeared.
Kim: Well I can see that!
Billy walks on, followed by Zack, Trini and Tommy.
Trini: What did they do?
Tommy: Young and foolish power rangers. They destroyed their own creator. See, that's why the producers never let power rangers run their own show. Most of us just aren't legend-ised enough to be able to cope with the responsibility. Us, on the other hand, we are the show.
Billy: Wait a minuet. If they killed Saban, how come we're still here?
Tommy: It's simple, really. As the oldest rangers, we're the only team with enough fanfics to keep us sustained without our creator. Kind of like. back up power when mains power in a hospital fails.
Zack: So. now what do we do?
Trini: We could create a new universe for ourselves.
Kim: Can we do that?
Trini: Sure we can. It would just. take a lot of work.
Zack: Ooh, okay, me and work, work and me. that don't sit well right now.
Kim: As the oldest power rangers, isn't it our duty to look after the youngest ones?
Jason: Yeah. Even if they are 'young and foolish', one day they'll be old enough to be legend-ised, like us, and one day they'll be experienced enough to handle it. Until then, I guess we gotta build up their universe for them.
Tommy: Well then, I guess we'll just have to work a little of the old power ranger magic.
Zack: But how do we bring Saban back? Without him, none of the others will exist.
Tommy: Don't you know by now? No one ever dies on this show.
Zack: why not?
Tommy: Because this is power rangers!
All others: Ohhh!
Tommy: One, two, three!
They all simultaneously snap their fingers.
Sparks fly out from their fingers and fly about. Saban reappears, lying on the ground, as do the other rangers, all in a pile, unconscious. The Animerium materialises around them. The sparks fly around the Time Force rangers, and they glow, then disappear. More sparks fly around Saban, and he too disappears. Everything reappears in its right place. The sparks seem to move the rangers into a row, lying on the stone floor. More sparks fly in, baring a blanket, which floats down to gently cover all the rangers, plus Shyala, like a giant duvet.
The older rangers look about them.
Tommy: When they wake up, they wont remember any of this.
Kim: Just as well.
Trini: So this is what the most recent incarnation looks like.
Jason: Not for much longer. You know what day it is?
Zack: Which one?
Jason: This is the night before the morning of the second last episode. The beginning of the end of Wild Force. (he pauses to look round, almost wistfully) I guess it was good while it lasted.
Tommy: Come on, guys. Time to go home, safe in the knowledge that we've provided a safe and stable world for the next generation of power rangers.
They all turn round, arms round each other's shoulders, and walk slowly towards the wall of the temple. As they reach it, sparkling lights twinkle and they disappear.
Kim's voice echoes off camera.
Kim: Good night, guys.
The sound of somebody snapping their fingers can be heard, and the screen goes blank.
The End