Title: WBY – Brotherly Love
Word count: 4,380
Characters: Sam, Dean, John, Jamie and River
Summary: Jamie is mad and River is in the way. Sometimes brothers fight, even if they love each other. Contains discussion of parental spanking.
XXX
It's a long walk from the bus to the house. Long enough to get into a shoving match with Jamie.
Jamie and he are about the same weight – River is built lighter but is a little taller. Still they are pretty well matched. Three years of Winchester conditioning have packed the muscle on River but he's whipcord lean. Jamie, on the other hand, is solid. Neither he nor his cousin has an ounce of fat on them.
It makes for a helluva good time when they decide to horse around.
Usually.
Today though, Jamie is in a funk. That's not usual for Jamie. The kid is unnaturally happy most of the time. If River wasn't absolutely sure it wasn't chemically induced, he'd swear Jamie was on something 95% a good portion of his waking life.
He grins a little to himself. Jamie getting high was about as likely as Gramps taking up ballroom dancing. Then again, River getting high isn't likely either. He has no problem with lighting up; he's cool with a little weed, his family however…River shudders involuntarily. He thinks of Shaylee and his last foray with smoking. Nope. No weed for River.
He glances at Jamie's scowl. Nothing like a little brotherly fighting to loosen the kid up.
River shoves Jamie hard just as they turn down their long crush and run driveway. Oddly enough it catches Jamie off guard. That's hard as hell to do with his cousin but apparently Jamie is too busy wrapped up in whatever misery he is thinking about because he staggers under the combined weight of his book bag and River's body then promptly falls into the fence. The bad part is, it just happens to be a spot was knocked down by freaky Texas weather last week. Dad had fixed it with a quick run of barbed wire. They never use barbed wire anywhere but the horses weren't using this pasture and River guessed he figured he would replace it this weekend when he had time.
Barbed wire can do a number on a horse if he gets caught in it, hence the reason for it's lack of use on the Winchester farm. The same goes for people too. River figures they use it on top of prison fences for a reason. Jamie jumps as the razor sharp barbs cut against his right arm, deep gouges that instantly start to bleed.
"Sonofabitch!" Jamie bellows as he grabs his right arm instinctively. Then just as quickly he turns on River, using that same right arm that is dripping blood to slug him hard. It is only hours of sparring that saves River. He dodges at the last moment and the strong right that by all accounts should have at least blackened his eye just grazes his cheekbone.
"What the fuck is your problem?" River yells, drops his book bag and automatically positions himself in a fighting stance. His legs are shoulder width apart, balancing on the balls of his feet, presenting his shoulder and hip to Jamie. His hands are up and his fists loosely curled. He's not sure if he can take his cousin but he's certainly not going to let Jamie use him as a punching bag either.
Jamie snarls, drops his own book bag and moves in offensively.
"My problem? My problem is you dickwad. Look at my fucking arm!" He nods in the direction of his arm without taking his eyes of River.
River backs up a half step. "It was a fucking mistake Jamie. For Christ sakes!"
"Yeah, you and your mistakes. You just had to be a smart ass didn't you?"
"I have no idea what you are talking about, Jamie!" He doesn't, he really doesn't.
"I'm sick of your bullshit River. All you ever do is whine and bitch and carry on. I'm sick of your dumb ass music, I'm sick of your fucking Earl Gray Tea. I'm sick of carrying your ass. I'm fucking sick of YOU!"
River's eyes widen. Jamie and he fight, sometimes even to a point where they've both bloodied each other. It's not always under the pretense of sparring either. They are two different people and have two different ideas on things and both have more than their share of testosterone. They treat each other with mutual respect though. Their idea of respect often contains four letter words and occasional fist to the face but it isn't mean hearted. It never is.
This isn't the typical day-to-day fighting of healthy young men that River is very familiar with. Fighting sometimes gets them in hot water. Gramps is a big advocate of Winchesters fighting, but not with each other. Uncle Dean and his dad are more understanding. They are brothers, after all, and have had their share of fights. But this whole thing is strange to say the least because usually when push comes to shove, Jamie and River always have each other's backs. And this? River considers Jamie's words, sounds pretty damn mean. It is as if his cousin really hates him.
That thought backs River off pretty quickly. Whatever is wrong with Jamie, well it must be pretty big for him to behave like this. River knows it, but a piece of him doesn't care. Whatever Jamie's problem is, well, he's not sharing it with River, except to act like a moron. Moron and Winchester are sometimes synonymous, especially when it comes to the younger Winchesters, but usually Jamie and River are in synch with their moronity? Is moronity a word? River doesn't think so but that doesn't change the fact that instead of wreaking havoc together, they are now at odds with one another and that doesn't happen every day.
Well, River can understand that Jamie is pissed about the barbed wire, but it is just a scratch. The barn cat, Godzilla, has scratched both Jamie and River far worse.
Then Jamie hits him again, hard. This time, River isn't ready, not even a little bit and Jamie's left catches him completely off guard. First rule of fighting, don't let yourself get preoccupied! The impact spins River hard to the right and he falls, much like Jamie just did except he misses the fence and face plants in the dirt.
He lays there for a moment, choking a bit on the blood that is pouring out of his nose and spilling onto the ground. He expects Jamie's hand to reach down and pull him up, but instead just hears his cousin move off toward the house.
Unexpected.
River rolls over, spits and shakes his head to clear it.
Jamie has managed to fuck up his favorite shirt with blood. Fucker.
River sits up and watches Jamie's back as his cousin purposefully heads to the house. River spits again, blood and spittle hitting the dirt and sniffles, which just makes it worse. He knows a bloody nose can't kill him, but it feels like it just might. Then again, maybe it is just because Jamie is the one who delivered the punch. Sucker punch, he amends.
River struggles to his feet and follows Jamie to the house, trying to hold his bleeding nose with his right hand and throwing his book bag over his left shoulder. There is a tightness in his belly and a smoldering anger that has him seeing red. Not red from blood either. River barrels his way into the kitchen to find Jamie at the fridge, pursuing it for whatever kind of snack he can find. Jamie eats like a fucking horse and apparently cleaning River's clock has done nothing to stop his teenage metabolism.
River drops his book bag at the door and power slams Jamie from behind. There is a satisfying "thunk" as Jamie's head hits the top shelf in the fridge and then all hell breaks loose.
Jamie spins and turns to face River, he narrows his eyes and leaps on him like a cat. This time River is more than ready and he slugs Jamie in the belly. He hears the whoosh of air and both Jamie and River grunt. Jamie with the force of the blow and River with the effort of it. A moment later they are grappling for each other in a clench that is more like a wrestling move than a boxing one. Which makes no difference to River or Jamie; they are both well versed with both types of fighting. There is a short but brief struggle, River gets in a punch to Jamie's eye, Jamie retaliates with a rib jab that hurts like a motherfucker. River gets his foot caught in the kitchen chair. He can't really blame himself for that, fighting in the kitchen is a new one but he looses his balance and both Jamie and he hit the stout oak table with considerable force. The table is an old one but has weathered more than it's share of rough housing. Apparently a full-fledged fight is beyond its capabilities though because the combined weight and inertia of two teenagers causes it to crack down the middle and both he and Jamie find themselves in a pile of splintered oak.
Maybe it's the table. Maybe it's the fact that both boys are bloody and bruised but they stop simultaneously.
"Fuck," Jamie says eloquently.
River looks hard at Jamie, how can he not? They are nose to nose in a pile of table trash.
"They are gonna kill us, " Jamie continues.
"Us?" River parrots? "You! You are the crazy boy who decided to beat the hell out of me for no reason!"
"I've got plenty of reason," Jamie growls. And although it looks like he might just swing at River again, he doesn't. He drops his head between his knees and wraps his arms around them at the same time. River hears the ominous crunch of wood under Jamie's weight as he shifts to his new position. River tries to find a comfortable way to sit while still keeping an eye on his cousin. It's difficult to say the least. There is a chair rung poking his ass in a particularly uncomfortable way and he feels pretty sure there are oak splinters in places where there should never be splinters.
"Jamie," River says softly, "What's up?"
Jamie glances at River; he no longer looks pissed, just miserable. Not that he didn't look miserable before. Jamie wipes a hand under his nose. Is he crying? Nah, Jamie doesn't cry. But then again.
"I got kicked off the team."
"What?"
"Coach said I had an attitude problem. One that he couldn't fix with laps and that maybe if I sat out a game or three I could get my shit together."
River cocks his head at Jamie and wipes absently at his own nose. The bleeding has stopped but it feels clogged with clotted blood.
"Since when has Coach been unable to beat some sense into you?"
"Dunno." Jamie answers.
"That sounds stupid." River counters, "Of course you know."
"I might have punched Billy Markemer today."
"Your tight end?"
Jamie glares at River, "Yeah, shithead. My tight end."
"Well, that's dumb."
"No shit, Sherlock. Billy can be a dick but." Jamie seems to think a moment," Well, he is a dick but he's my tight end and fuck, I shouldna hit him."
"Okkaay," River draws it out and then shifts his weight again, reaching behind to pulling the offending chair rung from his ass. He waits then, because there is nothing else to do. Jamie is the one who needs to talk.
The silence is palpable. Except for the heaving breathing of both boys, there is nothing but the occasional creak of the broken table.
"The hunt this weekend," Jamie starts, "I'm not going."
"So…it's happened before. The Trio don't want or need us. Christ Jamie, it's not that big of a deal."
"I'm not going but you are."
River lets this information filter into his brain a minute, "That doesn't make any sense. Why would I go and not you"
"How the fuck would I know?"
River thinks a moment. The hunt this weekend is a simple salt and burn or so
Gramps had said. There would be no reason to not take Jamie…or to take River alone.
Jamie narrows his gaze at River, "Dad says it's your gig. Yours."
"Mine?"
"Yes, yours. I'm supposed to stay home and watch the house and feed the horses and now probably fix the fucking table but you are going to hunt."
River shrugs, "Okay, but why this?" He gestures to the wrecked kitchen.
"Why not me?" Jamie manages to sound both angry again and miserable.
"Why not ask your dad? I don't know."
"It doesn't matter, River. You are going and I am staying and there is nothing I can do about it."
River kind of snarls, he can't help it. His nose hurts, his ass hurts and his cousin has obviously lost his mind, "Well, there is nothing I can do about it either! Why jump me?"
"'Cause you are going and I'm not." Jamie says softly.
River groans, "You have got to be fucking kidding me. This…" he gestures around the kitchen again, "Is all because I'm going hunting and you are not? Fuck Jamie, how many times have I wanted to hunt and been left alone here to do research. Or take care of the horses or whatever while you have gone hunting with them."
"I don't care," Jamie says angrily, "They were my family before they were yours. I helped teach you to hunt. I don't belong on the sidelines. Not in football and certainly not in hunting!"
Suddenly, River is as angry as Jamie was. "You know what? You talk about Bill being a dick but you are the biggest dick around. You don't get what you want and so you are acting like a toddler who gets his stuffed bear taken away from him. You beat up Billy Markemer. You beat up me! You help start another fight in the kitchen, and believe you me, when The Trio comes home there will be hell to pay for this. All because I get to hunt this weekend and you don't. Well, fuck you, Jamie Winchester." River stands then, brushes off the remains of the table and kicks it for good measure. He sniffles his clogged up nose and walks out of the kitchen, leaving Jamie to sit in the mess.
XXX
River gets a shower. It feels like he is washing the shit of the day off of him. And he is really. Naked, he sees and feels the effects of Jamie's fist. His cheek is bruised, his nose, while not broken hurts like a sonofabitch and his ribs feel like he's gone a few rounds with Ali. There are scrapes all over his ass and legs and he had found splinters awfully close to the family jewels. Thank God, he'd been wearing his customary jeans! The water stings on the scrapes but he just adds a little more effort in scrubbing. The pain feels good; it reminds him of the fight and Jamie's stupidity. He wants to hold onto it for a while, wants to keep the feeling of anger at his cousin close.
He is shocked at how it makes him feel. A little vindicated and self-righteous. Both are expected emotions he figures, but not normally associated with Jamie. River breathes deeply and then berates himself.
Jamie is his cousin but the reality is, he is his brother. River loves Jamie with every part of himself and despite how angry he is feeling, he guesses that Jamie feels worse. Jamie's not used to being second string on anything or anywhere. It must make him feel pretty shitty. But the truth is, Jamie should know better. He can't win everything every time. Apparently, The Trio have thought long and hard about giving the hunt to River.
That makes River shake just a bit. If he is hunting with his father and uncle this weekend and he is hunting without Jamie, it must mean that The Trio thinks he is up to it. Or that it is a trial of sorts. River isn't afraid of hunting but without Jamie, it will feel weird. It means that every eye will be on him and that any fuck ups will be his alone. He knows that he won't truly be alone, Uncle Dean, Gramps and his father would never let him hunt without backup but obviously they think he's ready for this. River thinks he is too. Sort of. But in the past it has always been him and Jamie. Together. Watching each other's backs and there has always been comfort in that. Knowing his cousin will be there for him.
Now he's not so sure if that is the case.
XXX
When River finishes his shower he comes back down to the kitchen. Jamie has deposited the table somewhere outside. It was beyond repair and even River knew that. The kitchen looks funny without the kitchen table. There is no way that it won't be missing. Jamie has also cleaned up the blood. Which must have been quite an ordeal considering the smell of bleach is overpowering. But at least everything looks clean. Jamie himself is leaning on the counter. He looks a bit cleaner too. There is only one shower so he isn't spotless. The scrape down his right arm is bandaged neatly and River can't help but be gratified to see a shiner on Jamie's right eye.
"They are gonna kill us," River states.
"Nah, they are gonna kill me." Jamie clarifies.
River sighs.
Jamie looks at River with his one good eye, "Riv, I'm sorry. Totally my fault and I'm gonna tell them that."
River nods, because it really was Jamie's fault.
"I'm gonna talk to Coach tomorrow, see if I can make it right with him. I'm gonna tell Dad and Gramps and Uncle Sam it was all me."
River nods again, "Yeah, but you know, you didn't get that black eye on your own."
Jamie grins and it feels good to see it. He gingerly touches his swollen eye, "True, but defending yourself from a nutcase, well, that's all good. You just did what you were trained to do. "
River smiles too. "Yeah, but…"
"No," Jamie states firmly, "This is all on me. All of it. When they come home, I'll tell them."
Then, as if Jamie's confession sets the wheels in motion, they hear their grandfather's truck pull up.
"Well," Jamie says ruefully, "I was hoping for more of a break in beat downs."
Gramps, Uncle Dean and Sam all come in. They've been laughing over some Winchester joke but it stops as soon as they spot Jamie.
Uncle Dean steps up to him quickly and concerned, "Jamie, what the hell happened?"
He lifts Jamie's chin and grimaces at his black eye.
Dad comes to River and does the same thing except focuses on his bruised face and nose.
Gramps notices the lack kitchen table and answers for Jamie, "It looks like our boys have decided to beat the hell out of each other and the kitchen while they were at it."
"I can explain," Jamie says and then he does. Quickly and with minimal words. He confesses about the fight. Then his football fiasco and finishes with, "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry, Uncle Sam and Gramps. I've already apologized to Riv and I'm talking to Coach tomorrow."
Uncle Dean runs a hand through his short-cropped hair, "Why?"
"I'm an idiot, Dad." Jamie says quietly.
Gramps huffs low, like that was an expected answer.
"I'd like a little more info than that, Jamie." Uncle Dean prompts.
"I dunno, Dad. I just….I just got angry. Angry because River is hunting with you guys this weekend, without me. That's just dumb and I know it and I knew it but I couldn't help myself."
"Now, that is pretty damn dumb." Gramps interjects. "If you knew it then why did you act like an idjit?"
River snickers low over Uncle Bobby's term for all things Winchester.
His father glares at River, "You think this is funny?"
"No, sir." River is quick to answer. Just because Jamie is taking all the blame it doesn't mean that River is out of the woods when it comes to being in trouble.
"Well, Jamie," Uncle Dean starts to lecture and then stops, "Never mind, you know how I feel about this. How all of us feel. I just don't understand why you would begrudge River some one on one hunting with us. He needs it. Plus he's proven himself. You've been in his position before, hunting with us, why so angry?"
"I just – I just felt left out and I don't like being left out."
"When are you "left out" of anything?"
"Christ, Dad…all the time. You guys make decisions all the time without River or I being in on it. I just think I would have appreciated a little input."
Gramps growls low, "You are a kid, Jamie. You get input when we feel you need to be involved. This wasn't your call. It isn't your call. "
Jamie shrugs one shouldered. River thinks it might be because his other shoulder is sore from the fight. Then again it could be just that he doesn't have the energy to do more than that.
"Okay, you want input. How about you decide your punishment for this."
"Me?"
"Yes, you," Uncle Dean agrees.
"Well, I don't want to get a whipping, but I'm sure that's in my future. So get it done. Sooner rather than later. And like I said, I'm going to talk to Coach. I'm benched but I'll see what I can do to make it up to him and the team. I'll talk to Billy too. I'll let him slug me if he wants. I deserve it. I'll pay for the table. I've been saving up for that new video game. It won't be enough but I'll work the rest off. I don't know what else to say."
"River 's going to help pay for the table too," Dad says and River looks at his father, one eyebrow raised, "Yes, you will, River. You knew something was wrong with Jamie and yet you still played into it."
River starts to protest but is cut off by his father again, "We are family, Riv. FAMILY. When someone is hurting we try to figure it out, not beat each other to a pulp."
"But Dad, he came after me."
"True, but you could have walked away. After the first punch you could have taken the high road instead of coming back swinging. Don't tell me you didn't know that something was wrong. Why not just have given Jamie some time to figure it out? A little space might have done him good. It certainly would have done our kitchen table good."
"Yes, sir." River agrees because he did know something was wrong. True, he had tried to talk to Jamie about it. Sort of. But if he hadn't jumped him in the kitchen, in retaliation for the slugfest in the driveway, the real fight wouldn't have happened.
"Okay, Jamie. You and me. Down to the barn." Uncle Dean reaches over and puts his hand behind Jamie's neck. Jamie doesn't shrug it off, just leans into it a bit and then follows his father out the kitchen door.
XXX
River is sitting in the bedroom he and Jamie share when Jamie comes back. He doesn't say anything, doesn't ask if Jamie is okay. He knows Jamie is okay. Just like he knows he's sore from whatever went down in the barn. He's been on the receiving end of Uncle Dean's lickings. They are never easy and even though there is a certain amount of absolution that accompanies them, it doesn't mean that the after effects aren't clear and present.
Jamie flops on the bed, belly down. He doesn't take his jeans off, which is kind of weird. Both boys tend to drop trou after a licking. Jeans feel like shit on a busted ass.
Jamie turns away from River, faces the wall. River lets him. It's not like he hasn't been there before. Not like he won't again.
Jamie's breaths start out halting and light. River can tell that he's not crying but he's fighting it. Both Jamie and River have talked about it, about how it feels after a spanking. It might seem strange to talk about such things, but Jamie and River have had more than their share of post spanking talks. It helps in some way. Maybe it is the mutual pain and camaraderie. Maybe it is the mutual grumpiness against whoever deemed a what for necessary. River isn't sure - but usually talking with Jamie helps in some way. Jamie and River share so much more than their family's ideas on discipline, despite their differences. River listens a little longer to Jamie and then settles himself firmly at this desk. When and if Jamie wants to talk, River will be here. Finally though, Jamie's breath slows and River hears the regular rise and fall of his cousin's breath and the cadence of easy breathing that is a sure indicator that he is out like a light.
River turns the light to dim and opens up his history book. He can study while Jamie sleeps. He does for a bit, then thinks that maybe he takes a nap too. He can't blame that on anything but the Ming Dynasty. River can barely tolerate American history and Chinese history is better than an sleeping pill. After a bit he hears Jamie move. It's subtle but as obvious to River as a bull in a china shop.
"Did you get in trouble?" Jamie asks finally.
"Nah, well if you don't count the lecture and paying for half the table. Which I'm not so sure I should be having to do but you know…"
"I really am sorry, Riv. It doesn't help I guess, but I am. I've been thinking."
River chuckles low, "Should I be worried?"
Jamie answers with a low chortle of his own, "Nah, it's fine. No major upheavals or potential additional smack downs in the future." He continues on with his original train of thought, "The truth is, I guess I was just jealous of you."
"Of me?" River is truly puzzled.
"Yeah, I mean. I haven't hunted with The Trio by myself very often and well, it kind of hurts that you are getting to. "
"I guess so, "River concedes, " But Jamie – you've had them for so much longer than me. I'm still the newest Winchester, still the baby of the family. I have to prove myself so much more than you do. "
Jamie sounds serious now, "No. You don't have to prove yourself to them. Not in the traditional sense. I mean, maybe in the hunting sense but you are all Winchester. They know it and I know it. and I shouldn't have taken my insecurities out on you."
River offers a mffft. It's a Winchester sound. Something he never used to do, but apparently joining his family has allowed him to pick up their traits. "Well, that's a new one. Jamie Winchester insecure? No likely."
Jamie shrugs and River settle himself back in his desk chair with a noticeable creak.
"Jamie, I know that Gramps says that Winchesters don't fight. And that we don't pick on each other, or take things out on each other. I don't buy it. We are brothers and brothers do take things out on each other. They just do. That's not even a Winchester thing. It's a brother thing. I bet if you ask JR, he'd say the same thing about his brothers. And even though I don't like fighting with you, in more ways than one, it doesn't seem all that wrong. Look at your dad and my dad, they still fight sometimes. I mean, if you can't beat your brother up once in a while, what is this world coming to?"
Jamie laughs then. Really laughs and River know that it is all right. That Jamie and he are all right.
That's all he really needs to know.
End.