It was mid-day. Gary Chalmers rang the doorbell of Agnes Skinner's house. The balding superintendent of Springfield Elementary checked his watch. He was holding a bottle of wine in one arm. Finally, a middle aged man with grey-brown hair opened the door. It was Seymour Skinner, Principal of Springfield Elementary. He was wearing a blue suit and an orange tie. Chalmers spoke.
"Well, Seymour, I made it, despite your directions."
"Ah, Superintendent Chalmers! Welcome," Skinner responded. "I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!" Chalmers replied with a "yeah" and took a seat, placing the bottle of wine in a bucket on the table. Skinner went into the kitchen to check on his roast that he had been cooking for the special occasion. To his horror, smoke was coming out of the oven. Seymour let out a gasp and rushed to the oven, opening it; inside was his roast on fire. He closed the oven and started to talk to himself. "Oh, egads! My roast is ruined! But, what if..." Skinner started to think. "I were to purchase fast food as disguise it as my own cooking? Ho ho ho, delightfully devilish, Seymour!" Skinner took off the apron he was wearing and opened the kitchen window. Just as he was beginning to climb out, Chalmers opened the door and yelled out Skinner's name. Skinner panicked, but did his best to retain his composure.
"Superintendent! I was just- stretching my calves on the window sill! Isometric exercise! Care to join me?" Much to Seymour's surprise, Chalmers replied positively.
"Why, yes, Seymour. I would love to join you. Besides, I was getting out of shape anyways." Skinner looked confused, but went with it. The two stretched their calves on the window sill for some time. Chalmers stopped, sweaty. Seymour blushed at the sight of this and turned his face away, not wanting his boss to see his face pink. "D-do you need a break, Superintendent Chalmers?" he stammered. Gary nodded and walked back into the dining room. Noticing that his oven was now on fire, Seymour did everything he could to put it out, but to no avail. He joined Gary in the dining room.
"Well, Superintendent, I think that's enough exercise for now and- damn! I forgot all about our luncheon." Seymour said. Gary spoke.
"That's not why I came here, Seymour."
"It isn't? Then why did you come?"
"I came here because of you." Seymour blushed again, and this time, Gary saw it. "You really like me that much, Superintendent?" Seymour asked. Gary nodded.
"I'd hate to admit it, but I've always secretly respected you, Seymour. Maybe even liked you. I wanted to get to know you outside of our jobs."
"Well, I'm... flattered, Superintendent Chalmers."
"Please, Seymour. Call me Gary." Seymour nodded, still blushing.
"But may I ask why you keep blushing at me? You wouldn't happen to harbor any feelings for me, would you, Seymour?"
"N-not at all, Su- I mean, Gary." Gary could see right through Seymour's lie.
"I find that hard to believe." Seymour cracked like an egg.
"Yes, Gary. I am... in love with you. I have been for years. I didn't want to admit it, because I was afraid you'd fire me," Seymour let out a sigh. "But I guess none of it matters, now." Seymour waited for Gary to fire him. Instead, Gary locked his lips with Seymour's and they shared a passionate kiss. Seymour had never kissed a man before, and it felt exciting. The two men made out with each other for minutes before Gary started to get a whiff of the smoke coming out of the kitchen. Gary stopped.
"That's funny, I smell something burning."
"It's nothing, I assure you." But Gary did not listen to Seymour, and he opened the door to the kitchen. By this point, almost the entire kitchen was ablaze. Gary's eyes widened, mouth agape.
"Good Lord! Seymour, your kitchen is on fire! Call the fire department!"
"No, Gary, it's just the northern lights."
"Don't play stupid with me, Seymour! Your kitchen is clearly on fire! Now get on the phone, or you're fired!" Seymour nodded and darted towards the nearest phone, calling the fire department. Gary ran out of the kitchen. Moments later, firemen arrived extinguishing the flames. Seymour broke down crying.
"Oh my God! The kitchen! My roast! I've ruined everything! And mother is going to kill me when she finds the kitchen like this." Gary took pity on Seymour and tried to comfort him.
"I'll help pay for the damages." Seymour wiped the tears from his eyes. "Okay... but my roast was doing so well."
"We can get another roast, Seymour. A better roast than before."
"But it's almost nighttime."
"Then we'll have a roast for dinner."
Seymour sighed. "Okay... Gary, I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable dinner!"