A/N: Ever wondered WHY Lily always said 'no' to James? the reason behind her constant rejection? what if there was more to the "no" than meets the eye! What if she wasn't allowed to date? what if Lily never actually fell in love with James, but there still was a Harry!? (don't worry they still die in the end...)

Disclaimer: is this even necessary to write?

The orange was slowly creeping into the pitch black sky. It was shining on the glazy ice capped mountains, making the mountains glow like torches against the dark sky. The darkness was slowly fading in to nothing. It was as if the trees in the forbidden forest, the mountains on the horizon and the chirping birds in the sky were eating away all the darkness.

the sight was truly magnificent..

A sixteen year old witch, Lily evans, sat on the window sill of her dormitory taking in the glorious sight unfold infront of her.

It was a sight to be seen. To be appreaciated. To be praised by everyone who walked on the face of earth.

It was the most beautiful part of the day for Lily. It was the cherry on top of her pie.

The pureness and beauty of the sight relaxed her. The fresh air and the scent of drizzle gave her strength to stand up for herself, in this cruel school. The peeking brightness gave her hope for a better future...There was always a tomorrow to look forward to.

She sat their gazing out the window for a good half an hour, taking out all her frustration and hurt. she sat their crying her eyes out, thikning of all the unfair things that she dealt with on a daily basis. the way she was used by her friends, tormented by the 'oh so popular' Marauders, and ignored when she needed someone to be there for her.

She had had enough she wanted to escape, to run away from this madness and live her life in peace. she was tired of being a rant listening dummy. She felt as if she was the only one who cared. Even though she cared dearly for her friends- she stood up for them, supported them and comforted them when need be- but, it felt as if she was the only one who actually cared. Their friendship was a one sided relationship. She was the only one contributing to it. she felt as if no one was ever there for her. no one she could actually confide in.

She was always the one who people came to confide in things, and when they needed a shoulder to cry on..and yet no one ever turned back and thanked her for being there for them, for helping them through tough times or to return the favour. She felt used and betrayed. She did everything in her power to help her friend. In any way possible; she ditched classes, left homework for the last minute and didnt sleep at all just to help her friends during their hard times. But, no one was EVER there for her when she tried telling somone her feelings.

She was made fun of, or laughed at, or called "emo" and "pathetic", when ever she made the mistake of confiding something to her "friends".

Boys, and looks were the only things that mattered for her friends. Lily on the other hand had different views. She was more into education and a solid career...there were times when she even doubted the fact that she even had friends

She was sick and tired of everything. She felt alienated! she was lonely in her room full of 'friends'..

Were friends really supposed to be that way? or was she being selfish? was she the one with the problem? was it her fault that she was, looked, acted and thought differently than the majority of the female population?

Lily was confused...she had finally broken. Cracked!

She didn't know if she would be able to take it all anymore...it was as if all the torture she had been through during the past sixteen years of her life had started to sink in. It had shredded her heart into tiny grains of sand.

She felt livid. Ready to kill!

A fresh batch of hot tears started pouring out of her eyes and onto the smooth surface of her porcelain cheeks. she cluthed her calves really hard and brought er legs close to her chest. And hugged her legs tightly. She needed someone to confide into..someone real.

In the distance she heard the rustling of the sheets and the opening of the curtains around someones bed!

"oh Shit!!!", Lily thought "they are never up THAT early, i can't let them see me like this.." but she was cut off in the middle of her thought and her tear strained face came face to face with her 'friend'.

"Lily! what's wrong?? OH MY GOSH, are you okay hun?" shrieked Natalia, her 'freind'. waking up the whole dormitory with a start.

"Damn.." thought Lily.

A/N: my attempt at a story! hope you will like it. Let me know even if you hate it, please, it would really help!

I promise the story will get more intense and interesting later on!

Shaheera