Valerie looked up and saw her crush, Johnny jumping around playing hacky sack with his friends. Johnny had been doing that a lot lately, hanging out with his friends. Especially his new friend Willie. And Valerie was wondering just what the deal was between Johnny and Willie, and why wasn't it happening between the two of them.
"Hey Jose…"
"Yeah Val?" Josie answered tuning her guitar
"I'm a good girlfriend, right?" Val asked plucking at her bass
"Er… Val I didn't know we were dating." Josie replied looking up
"Not your girlfriend Josie! Wouldn't I be a good girlfriend to Johnny?" Val said letting her bass hang limpon her shoulder
"Oh! Well, sure Val. You'd be an awesome girlfriend! You're not all needy or drama queen-ish. You're fun!" Josie said nudging Valerie's arm
"Then what's the deal with me and Johnny? Why hasn't he asked me out yet? Am I being to subtle with the signals or something?" Val asked flopping down on the ground
"Oh Val… Boys are just stupid, you know that. They wouldn't notice that the sky was falling until it hit 'em over the head." Josie said kneeling down beside her friend
"Yeah, I know but… Johnny's different… somehow! I mean, he's not… stupid! And he knows I like him. Well, I think he knows at least." Val said plucking at her bass again
"What's the matter Val?" Melody asked returning from Dunkin' Donuts with their coolattas
"Val's worried about Johnny." Josie said taking her coffee coolatta
"Oh my gosh! Is he sick?" Melody asked Val
"No, he's not sick Mel. But, why do ya think he hasn't asked me out yet? I mean, am I doing something wrong?" Val asked staring into her frosty drink
"Oh… what could you be doing wrong? He knows you like him, and he flirts with you, like, all the time." Mel said
"Yeah Val, I would've thought that you two would be dating by now; it's been a month and a half." Josie
"I know that you guys! But what if he… doesn't like me and is just too afraid to tell me? I would just die; I like him so much, you guys." Val said finally sipping her coolatta
"Val… Johnny's not like that. He's the most up-front and honest guy we know." Josie said looking at Val's face go pale
"But, what if that's it! Maybe he doesn't like me and—"
"What if he's gay?" Mel pondered aloud cutting Val off
"What!" Josie and Val asked in unison
"Well, maybe the reason he hasn't asked you out is because he doesn't like you that way. Maybe he likes boys." Mel said sipping her drink
"Oh my god… Mel you may be on to something." Josie said thoughtfully
"What? Jose, you can't be serious. Johnny… gay? I think I would know if he was gay!" Val said looking at Josie in disbelief
"Well, Val think about it. Why else would he not interested in you? You're perfect! I mean, the only reason your last boyfriend broke up with you was because you called him a "jerk"." Josie reasoned
"But he was a jerk!"
"Yeah… Val doesn't call just anybody a "jerk", Josie." Mel
"Think about it Val. Remember that time he broke off that promise he had to spent time with you volunteering at the library? And that time he said he'd go and see that movie with you, but instead he saw it with Willie?" Josie
"Oh yeah… I do remember that." Val
"And that time you thought he was asking you out, but all he really wanted was that piece of fruit!" Mel
"Oh my god… I think you're right. Johnny's totally gay and he didn't tell me. How could he lead me on like that?" Val asked shaking her head
"Lead you where?"
"What are you going to do?" Josie asked ignoring Mel
"I'm gonna confront him." Val said looking for something
"What! You can't just go up to him and ask him something that!" Josie
"Yeah Val, that would be so totally rude." Mel
"I know, which is why I'm gonna put it in a song." Val said pulling out pen and paper
"Cool!" Mel
"And what would be the name of said song?" Josie asked smiling
"'Johnny Are You Queer?'" Val said writing it across the top of a sheet
"Nice."
Two weeks later…
"I don't know Jose; maybe we shouldn't do the song. What if they don't like it, or what if Johnny hates me afterwards?" Val asked tuning her bass at their next gig
"Oh c'mon Val! That song you wrote totally kicks butt… and so what if Johnny hates you after this, you don't need him anyway!" Josie said ushering Val on stage
"Yeah, he's a total jerk for not telling you he was gay." Mel added following
Their set started and everybody was lovin' it, The Pussycats rocked! For most of the show Johnny stood near the left wall with Willie at his side and by the looks of it he was enjoying himself, which Val took as a good sign. But much to Val's dismay, Josie announced her song at the end of the set.
"Our next and last song is a new one written by Val. And uh, it's called 'Johnny Are You Queer?' written for a very confusing boy."
As Josie sang the lyrics Johnny looked up at Val with a look of pure mortification. But after the initial shock had worn off Val saw both Johnny and Willie laughing along with the rest of the crowd. And Val was able to breathe again, as she had noticed that she was holding her breath since Josie introduced the song.
"When you asked for a date,
I thought that you were straight.…
But Johnny are you queer?
Johnny are you queer boy?
Johnny are you queer boy?
Johnny are you queer boy?"
And when it was all over, Johnny and Willie approached Val, "I'm sorry Valerie, I should've told you sooner but, yeah, I am gay. And Willie is my boyfriend."
"Oh… uh… okay Johnny. Congratulations… I think." Val said doing her best not to spontaneously combust
"I'm sorry he kept this from you Valerie, I told him to tell you." Willie said apologizing
"Hey, it's not your fault. I wish you two the best." Val said smiling
"Thank you so much for understanding Valerie." Johnny said kissing Val on the cheek before he and Willie took their leave walking hand in hand
"So… what's up?" Josie asked putting an arm around Val
"He's gay. And Willie is his new boyfriend."
"You okay?"
"I dunno."
"At least he doesn't hate your guts." Mel said also putting her arm around Val
"This is true."
"You will be okay though, right?" Josie asked
"Yeah, I'll be alright."
"I know what can help." Josie
"What?"
"Ice cream and brownies?." Josie
"I love you."