How I Met Your Mother Plays D&D

by Xeratos

If the cast of How I Met Your Mother sat down to play a game of d&d, what classes would they play? Who would be the bad guys? How would they interact with each other?

The door swung open, and four travelers stepped into the tavern. A sign hung from a post outside, creaking back and forth as it swung in the breeze and proclaiming the place as MacLaren's. Inside the building was a long, polished bar with shelf upon shelf of liquors behind it. A muscular man with a close shaven head of hair and average height stood near it, absently wiping down its surfaces.

A small, petite woman with dark hair walked by and flashed a smile at them. "Take a seat wherever," she said, "and I'll be right around to take your order."

The group made their way over to a table in the center of the floor and sat around it. One, a blonde man dressed impeccably in rich attire, flashed a grin at the serving girl. The other three all rolled their eyes. She approached and smiled back. "Should we start with drinks?" she asked.

"Ted, why don't we just go down to MacLaren's and have real drinks? Why are we sitting here, pretending to drink? At the real bar, there are real girls, with real breasts. Or, you know, fake breasts. I don't discriminate."

"Damn it Barney, can't you think of something besides hooking up with the next bimbo once in awhile?"

"Yeah, dude. You lost the bet."

"In Barney's defense, nobody thought Ted could pull that off."

"Thanks, Lil. That's a real ego booster."

"Oh come on Ted, you literally jumped through fire. We had three fire extinguishers pointed at you the entire time."

"Well, I mean, I did go easy on him. I can do way better than that."

"Sure Barney, sure. That's why you set that bush on fire while Ted was running through your obstacle course."

"Hey, hey. I take my laser tag training very seriously."

"Can we just get back to the game please!"

"Sorry, Ted. Go ahead."

After a brief pause, they nodded to each other. The blonde man, a tremendously talented bard by the name of Barnabus, flashed her another grin, then announced, "Let's start with some good ale and see where the night takes us."

"All four of you?" the serving girl asked. A chorus of ayes came from them. "I'll be back with that then, and I'll take your food orders."

Barnabus watched her hips sway as she crossed the tavern and approached the bar. His attention was drawn back to the table as the large man covered in gleaming white armor next to him slapped his shoulder. "Pay attention, Swarley," he said.

"Come on guys, really?"

"Quiet, Barney. Don't interrupt."

"As I was saying," one of the women sitting across from him said, "They definitely brought it here. I tracked them all the way to the outskirts of the city, and it was where we expected to find it all along."

She was dressed in armor made of hardened leather plates, each one lacquered for extra strength and overlapping. A thick cloak was draped over her shoulders, its hood thrown back to reveal long dark brown hair, and a pair of pointed ears poked out from underneath it. Her eyes had a soft rounded shape to them. She was an elf, and hailed from the northern nation of Caynaday. A quiver full of arrows rested against her side on a leather strap that hung off her hips, and a short sword sat opposite on the other side. Her long bow leaned against her chair.

"Did you figure out for sure if they took it up to the fortress?" the other woman asked. She was by far the shortest of the group, and her red hair was tied back in elaborate braids. She was dressed in exotically cut clothing, finely spun to be soft and flexible. Thin, pliable leather ties held the folds in place around her wrists and on her legs. There were no weapons visible anywhere on her person.

"Impossible to tell for sure. There are tens of thousands of people in this city. There was no way to track them through that. They had to think they got away clean though, so no reason to hide it anywhere else. Goliath's got to have it in their stronghold."

The Goliath Organization was a massive merchant power that dipped its hands into dozens of different enterprises, everything from controlling trade routes and water shipping to financing magical research and controlling gold standards and minting new coins. It was an utterly amoral organization, concerned only with its own wealth and power.

A group of explorers contracted by the Organization had delved into an ancient, ruined monastery, and from it they'd extracted an immensely powerful artifact, the Book of World Building. If read by a person of sufficient magical power, the Book could be used to alter reality to the whims of the reader. There was no doubt in the mind of anyone at the table that it would be a very bad thing if the Goliath Organization was able to master the Book.

Liliana, a monk of the Order of the Black Goat, answered the monastery's automated call for help. With her was her husband, Marshicas, a holy warrior, a paladin descended from a powerful sea-faring nation who worshipped the god, Odin, patron deity of knowledge and the most powerful of the gods. He was tall, well over six feet, with broad shoulders and short hair that had a slight wave to it. A thin line of stubble traced his chin. They'd recruited a ranger named Robyn to track the thieves who'd robbed the monastery's treasures.

"Come on Robin, you can come up with a better name than that."

"Shut up, Marshall. Like Marshicas is any better."

Barnabus had joined up with them on the road after they'd saved him from a band of what he'd claimed were blood thirsty brigands, though Robyn had remarked that it looked more like a mob of cuckolded husbands. Either way, they'd scattered the men and rescued Barnabus. Since they'd been heading towards the city of Wen Kroy anyway, he'd continued on with them.

"Oh, I'm sure they do," Barnabus said absently as he watched the serving girl thread her way through the tables and booths with a tray containing four foaming mugs of ale. "The question is how are we going to get to it?"

The serving girl set the tray down on the table and passed out the ales. "My name is Wendolyn, by the way. Are you folk ready to order some food with your drinks?"

"What's on the menu today?" Marshicas asked.

"There's a vegetable stew, with pork or venison added, fresh baked bread and cheese wedges, and an open barrel of apples. There's mutton on the spit, but it won't be ready for another hour or so."

They put in their orders, and when Wendolyn left, they returned to their conversation. "Is there any way to be sure?" Liliana asked. "I don't want to break into an armed fortress and scour the thing for an artifact which might not even be there. We'd be risking our lives for nothing."

"I'll find out for us," Barnabus volunteered. "I can be very persuasive, and there are bound to be people who saw the Goliath Organization transporting it."

"Yeah, maybe if we can get you to stop eyeing up the serving wench for a minute," Robyn said.

Barnabus shot her a grin. "Feeling a bit jealous?"

Robyn snorted and took a drink from her mug. The conversation lapsed, and they all tucked into their food hungrily as soon as Wendolyn brought it out. When they were done, Barnabus rose to his feet, adjusted his cloak on his shoulders, and titled his hat at a jaunty angle. "Why don't we meet back here in a few hours? I'll see what I can find out."

"That's fine," Liliana said. "We'll do some exploring of our own while you're at it."

Marshicas dropped several gold coins on the wooden table, and they filed out into the streets. Barnabus tapped the sign as he walked by. "Remember, here in a few hours."

The bard was the last to return to the tavern. His clothes were a bit more rumpled, and he wore a wide grin as he swaggered in. The rest of the group turned to face him as he joined them at the table. "Give it up guys. Who's the most valuable member of the team?"

In unison, the rest of them turned to look at Robyn. Barnabus sputtered and his grin faltered. "What? No! Me. I'm the most valu- you know what, never mind."

"Sorry, Barnabus. Robyn's done way more work than you have," Liliana apologized.

"Yeah, well, did she confirm that the book is definitely inside the fortress? Because I did."

Marshicas shrugged. "That was really more us being thorough. We were already confident on that guess."

"Damn it, why do you guys have to take everything away from me?"

The others just grinned. Barnabus might have kept on, but at that moment, Wendolyn distracted him. "What can I get for you this time?" she asked, tracing a finger across his shoulder.

Barnabus flashed her a grin. "Why don't you surprise me," he said.

"Seriously, Barney? Even here, you have to flirt?"

"What do you want me to do? The sheet says I have a high charisma. That's literally a measure of how awesome other people find me. The hardest part is toning down my natural awesomeness to match the character."

"Sure thing," she flashed a smile his way. "I'll be right back."

Barnabus watched her walk away appreciatively while the rest of the group gave a collective sigh. "Anyway," Marshicas said, drawing attention back to the discussion, "You've confirmed that the book is definitely in the fortress."

"Oh yes, I got the information from an attractive young seamstress whose brother works as a night guard for the Goliath Organization. She was… ahem… more than happy to chat."

"A young seamstress?" Liliana said flatly.

"An attractive young seamstress," Barnabus expounded.

"I think that's enough detail for that story," Robyn cut in.

They sat at the booth, enjoying their meals and making plans to get into the fortress. Idea after idea was rejected, some pieces salvaged, but after several hours, it was fully dark and they were really no closer towards a solution.

"Guys, this is pointless," Marshicas announced. "There doesn't really seem to be any vulnerable spots to this place, and without more information, I just don't see us coming up with a solid plan. What we really need is Robyn and Barnabus to look around and-wait, where's Barnabus?"

Robyn swept the tavern, which was empty except for them and the barkeep, with her eyes, then sighed in exasperation. She lifted a hand to point towards the door leading into the back, where Barnabus could just be seen, being led away by Wendolyn. He glanced back at the table and grinned at the ranger before disappearing into the other room.

"Well that's just not alright," Marshicas said with a frown.

"I wouldn't worry about him," the barkeep said as he walked by.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name," Marshicas responded.

"Carliun," the man said as he approached the tavern's front door. He placed a hand on it, and a pulse of green light swirled from his fingertips He turned back to face the group. "As I was saying, I wouldn't worry about him. You have enough problems of your own."

Carliun leaped across the room, his nails extended into claws and a set of sinister fangs visible in his mouth. His eyes had dilated to black slits, and he crashed heavily into Marshicas, bowling him over and pinning him to the floor.

"I knew it! I knew Carl was a vampire!"

"Calm down, baby. It's just a game."

"But Lil!"

"Marshall, no. Carl's not really a vampire."

Robyn was on her feet as Carliun crashed into Marshicas, but it was Liliana who struck first. Her foot crashed into the side of the vampire's head so hard his neck snapped sideways and pushed his ear to his shoulder. He should have went tumbling across the room, but other than his head, he didn't move.

Carliun popped his neck and rolled his head back into place, then gave Liliana a feral grin. Beneath him, Marshicas struggled to free himself, but the vampire's iron grip on his wrists held him pinned down.

Undaunted, Liliana snapped two more kicks into Carliun. He absorbed each of them, never releasing his grip on Marshicas, and laughed. "Have you met my friend, Dugmar?" he asked.

A scraping sound came from behind her, and an enormous, seven foot tall zombie shuffled through an open door. It was big and bulky, and when Robyn moved to intercept it, it swatted her aside with one hand. She rolled with the blow and came back to her feet, but Dugmar ignored her as it obeyed Carliun's telepathic commands.

Liliana was forced to defend herself from the zombie's brutal attacks, and that took all her attention. Dugmar had been enhanced physically, and fought with more intelligence than any zombie could. Its attacks weren't the typical arm clubbing motions of a zombie, but jabs and feints, even kicks.

She was more than a match for its speed and coordination, but in terms of raw power, she knew she was hopelessly outclassed. Every blow she landed, it ignored. Every near miss she avoided by a hair's breadth, she felt the strength of its swings. She knew she could beat it down, given enough time, but the ongoing struggle between Marshicas and Carliun behind her denied her that luxury.

Robyn approached Dugmar from behind and hacked at it viciously with her blade. Those attacks it paid more attention to, though they did nothing to slow it. It backed out from between the two women and used the tables of booths of the tavern to prevent them from flanking it.

"You're too damn smart to be a zombie," Liliana growled at it as she unleashed a combo of three attacks in rapid succession. Dugmar took all of them without flinching or hesitating in its counter.

A strangled yelp of surprise and pain came from the other room, and Barnabus came scrambling through the door. His shirt and cloak were missing, and a row of teeth marks on his chest oozed blood. Fast behind him came Wendolyn, only now she sported a pair of bat-like wings and the air around her was practically crackling with infernal energy.

"I told you guys she has it in for me! Ted's got my back on this one. Up top, bro."

Marshicas struggled to free himself, but Carliun's hold was too strong. Desperate and unable to come up with a better plan, he snapped his head forward as the vampire's fangs descended for his neck. Brilliant light exploded from Marshicas on impact, and Carliun was toppled backwards off the paladin.

"Did you just smite evil with a headbutt?"

"Why yes, yes I did."

"Nice one."

"Got anything for dealing with a vampire?" he asked Liliana and Robyn.

"Actually, yes," Robyn told him. "Switch with me."

She skipped backwards and Marshicas slid into her place. He hefted his weapon, a white shining great sword, and hacked at Dugmar. The zombie recoiled from the blow, leaving it open for a round of devastating strikes from Liliana. They batted it back and forth, and Marshicas's blade was far more effective than Robyn's had been.

The ranger, meanwhile, had sheathed her sword in favor of her bow. She put an arrow to a string and pointed it at Carliun. Laughing, the vampire advanced between the tables. His laughter turned to an abrupt choke as the arrow slammed into him. He cried out in pain and smoke rolled out of the wound. A hissing sound filled the air as the flesh around the arrow sizzled.

"Silver?" he asked as much as stated. With a snarl, he ripped the arrow out and crushed the shaft in his hand. A second arrow slammed into him, followed by a third. The vampire staggered under the attack, but didn't go down.

Barnabus stumbled through the tables as Wendolyn glided along in pursuit. He staggered and fell to his knees as he tripped over an overturned chair. He spun around to face her, and as she closed in, he sang out a jumble of words. Arcane energies arced through the air and struck the succubus. She shook her head slowly, dizzily. Staggering, she grabbed a nearby table for support.

"You... damned... human," she uttered as she sank down, eyes closed. She collapsed onto the floor, sound asleep and oblivious to the combat raging around her.

Barnabus turned his attention to the other fight. His companions were overcoming the zombie, but Robyn didn't look like she'd be able to hold back Carliun much longer. He couldn't give her more time, but he could speed them all up. He sang out another verse in that strange language, and all of his friends started moving more quickly.

Liliana, already easily the fasted of the group, became blindingly quick. She pounded Dugmar with a rapid fire series of blows, each one causing the zombie to stagger. Marshicas slid around the other side and, being careful not to catch Liliana in the backswing, hacked into Dugmar like he was trying to fell a tree. The zombie, already overmatched and outnumbered, simply couldn't keep up, and it fell to pieces in mere seconds.

Robyn had exhausted her supply of silver arrows, and Carliun was now advancing on her menacingly. He was intercepted by Marshicas, who brought his sword around in a great arc. Its surface gleamed with white light, and when the blade sank into undead flesh, that light exploded outwards. Carliun hissed in pain and backed away.

With all four of the companions presenting a united front against the vampire, and his allies clearly down, he retreated. They tried to chase after, but his form melted away into a gaseous cloud and he flowed out of the tavern through the crack under the door. Liliana leaped forward to jerk the door open, but it was still sealed shut by Carliun's magic.

"Now what?" Robyn asked as she looked around for another exit.

"I've got this," Liliana told her.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her hand was flat against the door, and she pushed against the wood. It cracked slightly, and she traced a finger along that crack. Suddenly she exploded into motion, and her fist slammed that weakened piece of wood a single time with the force of her whole body behind it. Wood exploded outwards, leaving a sizable hole.

Calmly, she repeated the process several more times until the door was sufficiently weakened, then she snapped a kick into its center and blew the entire thing out into the street. She stepped through, and the others followed her.

"No sign of the vampire," Robyn remarked as she checked the streets. Marshicas nodded in agreement while he scanned the sky overhead, checking the rooftops.

"Was it a coincidence or do you think they were working for the Goliath Organization?" Liliana asked the ranger.

"No real way to tell, right Barnabus? Barnabus? Where the hell is he now?"

"What's that?" Barnabus asked as he stepped through the ruined door. He was holding his shirt in one hand and had his cloak folded over his arm to keep it from dragging across the ground. He stopped when he realized they were all looking at him. "What? It's an expensive outfit," he protested.

"Just put your shirt on," Marshicas said in exasperation.

"And get blood all over it? No way!"

"We need to get moving," Robyn put in. "The city guards are coming."

They looked down the street, where a group of people could barely be seen coming through the shadows heading towards them. Despite that, none of them doubted Robyn's eyesight, and they immediately turned to run the opposite direction.

They hadn't gone far when a second patrol cut them off. Undaunted, they split to the side and down an alley. Liliana sprinted ahead of the group, scouting out the streets. Every direction turned towards more guards, and even when she scaled a building to check the roofs, she found them.

"This is insane," she said as she dropped back down to street level. "They're even on the rooftops. That fight couldn't have attracted this much attention."

"Weeelllllll," Barnabus hedged, "that seamstress's brother I mentioned? Turns out he was really more of her husband, and uh, he kind of walked in on us while we were... um... talking."

"By Odin's Beard!" Marshicas exploded. "Is that all you do? How many times has it landed you in trouble, Barnabus? And now us too!"

"By Odin's Beard? Nice one, bro."

"Yeah, I thought it was pretty clever too. But seriously Barney, keep it in your pants from now on."

"No promises."

They ducked through an alley around an apothecary's shop into a wide street, then came to a halt. They stared down over thirty guards, all of them pointing crossbows towards the group. Robyn spun around, but there were even more guards on the other side.

A small patrol followed them out of the alley and lined up across the mouth. A tall, thin, man with an unpleasant expression stepped forward. "So you're the ones that we had to turn out to collect. Ugly lot, aren't you?"

Barnabus stepped forward and opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, one of the guards next to the man who'd spoke stepped forward. "That's the guy, sir. Wanted to know all about the fortress, very suspicious."

"Yes, and I'm sure your wife told him all sorts of things she wasn't supposed to know either."

"Uh, no, Commander Billenson," the guard apologized.

"No, that was a mistake," Barnabus said. "Seriously, completely accidental. I'm not sure what you guys thought, but this is all a big understanding."

Billenson laughed sourly. "You can come along quietly, or my men can turn you into pincushions. I'm not too particular."

They looked one way down the street, then the other. With a final glance at each other, they removed their hands from their weapons and surrendered. Billenson looked, if anything, disappointed.

They spent the night in a garrison holding cell, and in the misty hours of the morning, they were loaded into a portable jail cell built on top of a wagon. A pair of horses pulled the wagon down the cobblestone streets. The driver, a pudgy foreigner named Runjeet, was friendly enough, despite the fact that he was transporting prisoners.

They arrived at the base of the fortress to find Billenson talking with another man in a uniform that marked him as the same rank. "The crossbowmen were invaluable," he said. "The capture went as smoothly as it possibly could. They didn't even fight back."

"Well, you how know these scum are. Once they know there's no fighting back, they go weak kneed and roll belly up," the other commander said with a laugh.

"Right you are, Arthendius," Billenson chuckled.

"I've met that man before," Robyn whispered. "They call him Artillery Arthendius. He's the commander of the catapult and ballista crews, as well as the crossbowmen infantry."

"How do you know him?" Marshicas asked with interest.

"He tried to recruit me when he came through Caynaday looking for experienced archers. He's a vicious man, and he's got a nasty temper," she explained.

Whatever Billenson's business with Artillery Arthendius was, he finished it quickly enough, and personally escorted his prisoners, along with a guard of a dozen men, through the fortress and down into the dungeons.

"Enjoy your stay," the commander told them as the dungeon guard locked them into separate cells. "I'll be back later to see how you like the accommodations."

Then, laughing, he strode out of the dungeon. The dungeon guard followed him and settled down into the guard station, closing and locking the iron-bound door at the end of the hall as they went.

"That could have went better," Marshicas commented.

"I don't see how it could have gone much worse," Robyn remarked bitterly.

"What?" Barnabus laughed. "This is perfect. Don't you guys see? We're in."

"Yeah, we're in a jail cell," Liliana pointed out. "How is that a good thing?"

"We're in the fortress. I mean, come on, that's what you guys wanted."

"On our terms, Barnabus," Marshicas explained. "They took our weapons, they took our armor, they took our gear. We're locked up behind bars. How are we supposed to get the book back from them like this?"

Barnabus winked. "Don't worry, I've got this."

"Barney, how the hell do you have this?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets, Marshall."

"I don't know Barney, I'd say you guys are pretty trapped."

"You could look a little less smug about it, Ted."

"Guys, guys. Come on. It's me. I've got this."

Barnabus began to sing softly, and a moment later, his form blurred into a misty outline and he slid through the bars of the cell. The others watched him drift into the hallway and spin in place. "Let's see now," he said, his voice dampened in his gaseous state. "I certainly can't find the guards all by myself, and you've all been disarmed as well. I guess I should take the only one of you that'll be useful with me."

"That's... a lucky coincidence there, Barney. You just happened to know that spell, which worked out perfectly for the situation."

"Yeah, I know. It's really there to help me sneak out on a one night stand without getting caught, but this works too."

"It actually even says that on his character sheet, Ted. See, it's right here."

"Somehow, I'm not surprised."

He settled onto the floor in front of Liliana's cell and dismissed his spell with a flick of his hand. "I can only do this one more time," he said. "Take my hand. I'll cast the spell and pull you through. It'll be up to you to beat the guards so we can unlock the cells though."

Liliana clasped a hand around Barnabus's wrist, he quickly sang out the verse that would allow her to walk through the bars. A moment later, she was beside him, still looking like she'd been brushed with mist. "The spell will last for a bit still. You should look in the guard room and see what you're up against before we get in there. This has to be done just right."

She nodded, and flew down the hallway. Her body contracted and flattened, then drifted under a crack in the door. Barnabus watched the door apprehensively, and a moment later, it banged open. Two guards were shoved through it and went sprawling across the floor, and Liliana stood over them. She held a ring of keys in her hand, which she tossed to Barnabus.

He sorted through the keys, and it took several attempts to find the right ones, but he quickly unlocked the cell doors and freed the rest of his companions. Liliana was at the far end of the hall, beating on the guards and demanding to know where their possessions were. Both held out for a little while, but one finally snapped and spilled his guts.

"Anything brought in on prisoners is stored in the depot on the other side of the fortress," the man blubbered as Liliana twisted his arm behind him and pressed a foot down on his shoulder. She didn't let up until he'd given them detailed directions, and then, she dragged both guards into a cell and dealt them sharp blows to the head, leaving them unconscious on the cell floor.

The group ran through the fortress, knowing that speed was their only ally. Liliana dealt quickly and decisively with any guards they ran across, with Marshicas occasionally helping and Barnabus and Robyn doing their best to stay out of the way. After the third time they got lost, the bard stepped into the next fight and cast a charm spell on one of the guards.

"We need your help," he told the magically beguiled man. "There are intruders rampaging through the fortress, and we need to reach the depot to properly arm ourselves to help you deal with them."

Such was Barnabus' beguiling power that the confounded guard nodded eagerly and led them straight to the depot. He actually thanked the group for their assistance, and he and Marshicas had a brief discussion about their mutual religious leanings.

They reached the depot and rearmed themselves. Liliana helped Marshicas don his armor while Robyn stood lookout and Barnabus reassured the guard that, now that they were properly equipped, they'd be in a much better position to help deter the intruders. He led the charmed man off to the side and, patting his shoulder, said, "Sorry about this."

"What's that?" the guard asked, confused, a second before Liliana knocked him out.

"That," Barnabus told the now unconscious man with a wince. "You really did seem like a nice enough fellow."

"We need to decide if we're going out or farther in," Robyn announced. "The fortress is getting more organized, and pretty soon we won't be fighting small groups or ambushing them. But we might never get a better chance to get the book than right now."

"Perhaps I can influence your decision," a woman's voice announced from deeper into the depot. She wore a fine dress, and rings adorned with large gems glittered on her fingers. A spiraling bracelet started at her left wrist and curled almost up to her elbow. Her hair, long and blond, was swept back from her face and held in place with golden pins and clips.

Robyn had an arrow on the string of her bow immediately, pulled taut and ready to be fired. "Who are you?" she asked tersely.

"I?" the woman asked with amusement, one eyebrow arched. "I am an enchantress. My name is Zoethyra."

"What do you want?" Robyn asked suspiciously.

"My husband is the captain of a merchant ship working with the Goliath Organization," the enchantress explained. "They haven't dealt fairly with him recently, so I'm looking to return the favor."

"You'll forgive us if this all seems suspicious," Marshicas said. He studied her for a moment, then continued. "How do we know you're not trying to manipulate us for your own ends."

Zoethyra smiled and nodded. "I understand your concerns. I could use my magic to persuade you, that is my specialty after all, but I don't think that will be necessary. I'll give you this instead."

She held out a small green disc, which glowed softly in her hand. "What is it?" Marshicas asked, making no move to take it.

"It's a key," Zoethyra explained. "The fortress's upper levels are restricted, and only those who have an object such as this can pass through the magical barriers. This will take you all the way up to the twelfth floor. You'll have to make your own way past there. The Book of World Building is the fifteenth floor."

"That's all well and good," Robyn said, "if it's real, and if you're not lying to us. It still doesn't give us any incentive to go forward instead of retreating."

"No," the enchantress said, "I hadn't imagined it would. This, on the other hand, I believe will do the trick."

Zoethyra produced a set of small vials, each one containing a thick, clear liquid. "Potions of invisibility," she told them, "to get you past all those pesky guards. Keep in mind that it only makes you invisible, not silent." She looked appraisingly at Marshicas's heavy armor as she spoke.

"If you've got all this at your fingertips, why don't you just go do it yourself," Liliana asked.

"Down here, on the lower levels, the security isn't so good. The guards aren't well trained or equipped, and only the upper levels are magically warded. Here, I can give you assistance without revealing myself. Up there," she waved a hand vaguely at the ceiling, "I'm recognizable. I wish to trouble them while avoiding repercussions to my husband, the captain."

Barnabus regarded the potion vial thoughtfully. "If that's the case, then these won't get us very far anyway," he said. "They'll have spells in place to detect invisible intruders; otherwise you'd just go to the top yourself the same way."

"Yes, that's where brute force comes into play. Their own defenses will work against them. They won't be able to bring in the numbers needed to recapture you on the upper floors, at least not quickly or easily. If you're fast enough, you'll be able to take the book from them and escape."

"You seem to have everything planned out," Liliana said. "How exactly are we escaping through a fortress full of armed guards?"

"I'd have thought you'd have your own plans for that," Zoethyra smirked. "Were you planning this being a suicide mission? Unless you're planning on destroying the book instead of recovering it, that doesn't seem like it would work."

"We hadn't made it that far in our own planning yet," Barnabus interjected smoothly. "But I'm sure someone as lovely and charming as yourself has an idea or two."

"One of two thoughts had come to mind. How do you feel about flying?"

They exchanged confused glances with each other. "What do you mean?" Barnabus asked.

"The Goliath Organization has a troop of soldiers, special forces. You'll undoubtedly run into them on the higher floors. They wear distinctive cloaks pinned on with an emblem stamped with the same symbol as that key. Those cloaks grant their wearers the ability to fly for a short period of time, and the emblem allows them to do it inside the protective magical fields of the fortress."

"So we take out some of these special soldiers, steal their flying cloaks, and breeze off into the sunset," Marshicas said. "That seems straightforward enough."

"Give us a minute, Zoethyra," Liliana said.

"Of course. Take as much time as you feel is prudent to discuss my offer," the enchantress said graciously. She walked off a ways and sat on a large wooden crate. Little lights danced around her fingers as she waited, hopping from one tip to the next and swirling across her hands.

"What are we thinking here?" Liliana asked the group. "I don't know if we can trust her, but this might be our best chance."

"It might be our only chance," Barnabus put in. "This was going to be hard enough to begin with. It could be impossible after tonight."

Marshicas glanced over at Zoethyra, who was studiously ignoring them. "She's not an evil person. I vote we accept her help."

"Ok guys, is this a trap? It's Zoey, after all."

"I don't even know, in game or out."

"Maybe you guys should stop worrying about who the character is based off of and get back in character before I start docking your experience points for metagaming."

"Yikes, Ted. Relax."

"I don't think we have a lot of other options," Robyn pointed out. "We can fight our way out or fight our way up, but at least if we go up, we won't have to come back again later."

"I say up," Barnabus added.

"Up sounds like the best plan," Marshicas agreed.

Liliana looked around, then nodded. "Alright. Let's finish this tonight."

They walked over to where Zoethyra sat, and the enchantress smiled up at them. "Reached your decision then?"

"Yes, we've decided to trust you."

"Good. Then take these," Zoethyra told them as she handed over the key and potions of invisibility. "Now, let me give you some information to help you along the way."

She proceeded to describe the fortress's layout in great detail, even going so far as to magically create illusionary maps that floated in the air in front of them. She pointed out checkpoints to avoid, barred off sections that were restricted, and, in the very center of the fortress, where they needed to go.

"It's an open stairwell," she explained. "The stairs spiral around the wall, and there's a lift system in the center for when they want to bring heavier objects up to the higher levels. The higher floors are all magically protected. This key will get you through anywhere up to the twelfth floor. You'll have to find your own way up from there. There are stairs that lead up and down individual floors; I'd try them. You might also find someone who had a key to the upper floors as well."

"This sounds really complicated. How long did you spend designing all of this, Ted?"

"Not that long. I mean, I am an architect. It's kind of what we do."

"Well, at least you're getting some use out of your skill set."

Robyn poked her head out of the storage depot and looked down the hall while Zoethyra talked. She came back a moment later and interrupted the enchantress. "We need to move. We've been here too long already."

"She's right," Liliana agreed. "We don't have time to plan out every contingency."

"Then drink up, keep a hand on someone else's shoulder so you don't get separated, and good luck," Zoethyra replied, handing out the invisibility potions.

The group tipped the vials up to their lips, and they all faded from sight. Disembodied voices called out as they formed a marching line, and the clank of Marshicas's armor announced their departure. Zoethyra just sighed and shook her head at the sound. "Good luck to you all," she whispered softly again, then disappeared herself.

"Stop," Robyn called out quietly to the group. They were marching up the spiral staircase looping around the lift, which was fortunately wide enough that when passing guards came down, they could stand near the rail and wait for the guards to pass. Twice they'd been forced to freeze up and pray the guards who'd heard Marshicas wouldn't find them, and three more times beyond that, Robyn had been able to lead the guards away by stealthily sneaking down a side passage and leading them away from the group.

Another trio of guards were making their way down the stairs, and the group pressed themselves up against the rail as the guards clumped by. They let the guards pass them by and descend several more floors before they started back up again.

As they went higher, the doors leading out of the stairwell started having colored markings on them. They passed a blue, red, and orange one before coming to green. "This is it," Robyn said. She opened the door and walked through it, and an electric tingle swept through her. The disc pulsed slightly in her hand, almost causing her to drop it in surprise.

"Who's going through next?" Liliana asked.

"I will," Marshicas volunteered. He took a step forward through the door frame, then cried out as he was shocked and thrown backwards into the stairwell. He faded back into visibility as he hit the rail and slumped down. With a groan, he used the rail to pull himself back to his feet.

"Holy crap, Marshall. How much HP do you have left after that trap."

"Not as much as I would like, Robin. Not as much as I would like."

"What happened?" he asked as he waited for his fingers to stop twitching so he could cast a healing spell on himself.

"Probably should have been holding the disc," Robyn speculated. "Here, catch."

The disc appeared as if out of nowhere as soon as it left her hand, and Marshicas fumbled it as it hit and bounced off his fingers. Liliana's arm snapped out and her hand closed on the green chunk of metal before it could disappear down the stairwell. With a patient sigh, she grabbed the paladin's hand and pressed the disc into his palm.

"Thanks," he said, a touch of embarrassment in his voice. He took a hesitant step towards the door, stopped, breathed out slowly, and walked through. He flinched as the tingling sensation went through him, but didn't drop the disc again. He turned on his heel and looked out into the empty stairwell.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yes," Liliana replied.

"This would be much easier if I could see you all," he muttered as he gently tossed it out through the door.

Liliana's hand snapped out and caught the disc, which disappeared. She set it down on the floor and stepped away. "You go next, Barnabus," she said.

He leaned down and picked the disc up, then slipped through the door. Smirking at the visible Marshicas, he set it down on the floor and slid it back out into the stairwell. Liliana picked it up and walked in as well.

"You guys might as well drop the invisibility," Marshicas said. "They're going to see me either way."

"I'll save it for a nice ambush on the first patrol we meet up here," Robyn told him.

"I just want them to see you first so they're not beating on me. I've got an image to maintain," Barnabus added.

Liliana patted Marshicas's shoulder and reassured him, "Don't worry, we'll all be visible soon enough. You're just going to have to trust that we're with you."

"Come on, guys. You're really going to make me the target?"

"Don't complain. You've got the highest AC and, let's face it, your skill check mods suck for this sort of stuff anyway."

"Maybe if you made a bit of noise when you walked," the paladin grumbled.

"We need to keep moving," Robyn interjected in a harsh whisper. "I don't know how you don't hear the people on this floor."

"Our ears aren't quite as... fine... as yours," Barnabus said.

They set off as quietly as they could, Marshicas looking distinctly nervous. Logically, he knew that his companions were with them, but it was somehow worse being the only visible person in the group. He strained his ears to hear the noise that Robyn claimed was there, but only the sounds of their own footsteps came back to him.

They hadn't gone past the first intersection though, when they crossed a pair of statues set on either side of the hall. The statues were of robed men, each holding a lantern up in one hand and facing each other. As the group crossed through, the lanterns burst into light, washing out their invisibility and revealing them.

For the briefest of moments as they popped back into visibility, Barnabus's clothing shimmered, then returned to their normal appearance. He glanced around swiftly to see if anyone had noticed, but they were all busy regarding themselves.

"So much for that advantage," Robyn muttered sourly.

"We should keep moving," Marshicas said as he examined the statues. "There's no telling what other magic is invested in these statues. For all we know, alarms could be going off all over the fortress right now."

Whether he was right or it was just a coincidence, a minute later, the sound of boots thumping down a corridor came to their ears, followed quickly by a squad of eight armored guards, each one wielding either a great sword or a smaller sword and shield combination. One of the guards, his armor decorated with horizontal black stripes down one side, stepped to the front of the squad.

"Halt and surrender your weapons," he commanded in a brusque, rough tone.

Marshicas walked forward to meet him. He stared intently at the group as he moved, then reached up and unsheathed his own weapon. He broke into a charge, followed quickly by Liliana. Robyn had her bow up and several arrows already flying by the time the paladin crashed into the squad commander.

The commander got his own shield up just in time to deflect Marshicas's attack to the side, and couldn't properly set himself to absorb the blow. He went sprawling backwards into his squad, which was already reeling from several arrows stuck in between armor plates. Liliana was on them a moment later, leaping high into the air to kick two guards in the face. She twisted as she fell to land in a crouch, then swept the feet out from underneath the commander.

Barnabus stuck next. His voice rang out in song as he cast a spell and, with a twisting motion of his hands, an undulating stream of colors spread through the air. The colors shifted and looped around, and several of the guards who'd been about to attack the monk in their midst stopped and stared, slack jawed, at the pattern.

Robyn dropped her bow and, drawing her sword as she went, moved up to stand near Marshicas and prevent the guards from swinging around and getting on both sides of him. She fended off several probing stabs from one of the guards with a shield, and he in turn blocked her own attacks.

In the middle of the group, Liliana was a whirlwind of flying fists and feet, dodging and tumbling about, often using the guards' own bodies to halt and redirect her momentum. It was impossible to distinguish between how much damage she was doing and how much she was causing the guards to deal to each other as they fought and grappled with the woman in their midst.

Marshicas brought his sword down in a vicious chop. The commander, still on his back on the floor, managed to get his shield up to deflect it, but as the paladin's blade rebounded, he kicked out, knocking the shield wide and dropping the blade down again. Metal squealed on metal as the blade scraped along the commander's breastplate, but didn't shear through.

Undeterred, he slammed a foot down on the commander's chest as the man struggled to get off the ground. Marshicas swung his sword around so the point was facing down and rammed it into the man's stomach. The blade punched through steel, and the commander cried out in pain. Marshicas's face was grim as he jerked his sword back and forth. He pulled it out with a sickening wrench and crashed it down into the man's face, silencing his cries of pain.

"Brutal."

"Eh, he was evil."

They made quick work of the rest of the squad. Barnibus's magic broke as his companions fell over the guards, and he quickly knelt down and searched the squad commander's body. He came up clutching a purple disc, much like the green one they'd used to get onto the twelfth floor. He grinned and held it up.

"Just what we needed," he announced.

Liliana looked up and nodded. "Good," she said as she knifed two fingers into a guard's throat. The man choked and gasped, then slumped to the ground. Next to her, Robyn slashed the final guard's throat mercilessly. Marshicas stood to the side, watching the execution grimly.

"This place is full of evil people," he said. "Everywhere we turn, especially on these higher floors, it seems like I see nothing but corruption and decay here."

"We'll be out of here soon enough," Liliana replied. "Hopefully everything will go to plan."

They backtracked to the stairwell, and traveled up another floor. The new one was much more richly decorated than the previous one, and almost immediately upon making it through the door, flashes of magic pulsed over them. Barnabus studied them as each of his companions walked through, then said, "A general dispel of existing magical effects, just like the floor below. After that, I think, some sort of detection spell, and finally a magical tracer latch, to track our positions."

"Can you get rid of it?" Robyn asked.

Barnabus just gave a helpless shrug and shook his head. "Not really my area of expertise, and I'm sure the spells are very strong. You don't get as big as the Goliath Organization and not have the money to spend on the best."

"Guess we'll just have to outrun and outfight whatever they throw at us," Liliana said. "Come on, we need to find someone with the keys to the top two floors."

They didn't get so lucky again though, and after twenty minutes of exploring, all they found were offices, conference rooms, lounges, and other place that should have had people, but were all mysteriously empty. They scoured the floor, but found nobody anywhere.

"I don't think I like this," Robyn said as they lapped the entire floor and came back to the stairwell entry.

"What should we do?" Marshicas asked. "We need another key to keep going. And we still haven't found any of those flying cloaks we were told about."

"You seem awfully well informed," a voice said from the stairwell. Billenson walked through the open door, and for him, no magical lights flashed and stripped away whatever magic he'd armed himself with. "I'm curious to know how you found your way up here, and how you know the thing you know."

"I'd love to see you try to force that out of us now that you don't have a hundred crossbows pointed our way," Robyn snapped back.

Billenson laughed and raised a hand. He stepped aside and six large, heavily armored men trooped past. "Meet the elite, the best of the best," the commander said. "They might not be as imposing as several squadrons of crossbow infantry, but they'll do the job."

The six men spread out across the hall and, on some mysterious signal none of the group caught, leaped forward to the attack. Barnabus danced backwards, narrowly avoiding a soldier's probing blade. He chanted rapidly and quietly, and with a flicking motion towards the man, cast a spell at him. Immediately, the soldier slowed, then stopped completely.

Robyn was less fortunate. Two of the soldiers attacked her at the same time, and she wasn't able to fend them off completely. Several long cuts dribbled blood, and drops of it went flying through the air as she swung her arm. She parried desperately, but the two men were well trained and fought in unison, alternatively pushing her and never letting her rest or counter.

Liliana fared slightly better, but the two she was fighting were equally skilled. Her dodges were unconventional though, often contorted and with occasional snapping kicks or punches that did little damage but helped keep her opponents off balance and confused. They worked together to cover for it, and the monk found herself hard pressed to keep ahead of them.

Billenson and the final soldier cornered Marshicas, but unlike his companions, he wasn't forced on the defensive. Billenson wasn't a large man, and the paladin was easy head and shoulders taller than him. His reach and his long weapon gave him the advantage, and he charged ahead, burying the commander under a savage flurry of attacks. The other soldier got a few shots in on him, but Marshicas happily traded the damage to drive Billenson down to the stone floor.

The commander down, Marshicas turned his attention to the soldier. He met the man's attacks with a more measured approach, and it was quickly apparent that the soldier was as good as, if not better, than Marshicas. He didn't have divine power backing him up though, and when the paladin's next attack landed, he channeled a blast of holy energy into it, throwing the soldier backwards.

Rather than advance and finish him off, Marshicas struck at the two men fighting his wife. He scored a minor hit on one and, more importantly, disrupted their rhythm. Liliana was quick to take advantage, and pummeled the other soldier with a barrage of heavy blows. The man staggered, and she pressed in, chaining her attacks together until the soldier was flat on his back and blood trickled out of the corner of his mouth.

With the fight on more even footing, the group rallied and took out the rest of the soldiers. The one Barnabus had magically stopped was left to stare down the hallway at nothing while his companions were searched over for a key. Liliana did most of the looking while Marshicas did his best to patch up Robyn's and his own injuries.

"That's all I've got. It'll have to be enough," he told her.

"That's it? Your healing spells suck, Marshall."

"You know Robin, rangers get access to divine magic too."

"Oh yeah! In that case, I'll just finish topping us off."

"Did you prepare healing spells, Robin?"

"Uh... yeah. I think. I don't know; Marshall made my character for me."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, Ted. Marshall made all of the characters."

"You guys didn't want to make your own?"

"Dude, I'm only here because I lost a bet. Lily's here for Marshall, and I'm pretty sure Robin's planning on drinking the entire contents of your fridge before we're done."

"He's right. I'm already halfway through your beer."

"Purple keys on all of them," Liliana announced. "Which doesn't do us a lot of good getting any higher up."

"I guess we should start doing a thorough search of the floor, see if we can find anything in a desk drawer or cupboard," Marshicas suggested.

"Maybe this guy knows something," Robyn said, gesturing towards the still frozen soldier.

"Maybe," Barnabus hedged, "but even if he does, will he tell us?"

"I don't know. That's your area of expertise," the ranger said flatly.

"I'm running low on the magical persuasion juice," Barnabus admitted. "But we'd better make a decision right now, he'll be coming out of that in- argh!"

The spell had expired, and the soldier's first move had been to stab his sword into Barnabus's side. The bard staggered sideways off the blade and clutched at the wound as blood dribbled through his fingers. Before the soldier could make another move, he was set on by both Marshicas and Liliana. Their attacks were too swift and too powerful to be blocked, and the man was on the ground, bleeding out, a few seconds later.

"I guess we don't need to worry about him anymore," Barnabus spat through a curled lip as he clutched as his side. He glared down at the dead soldier for a moment, then growled out a quick chant and pushed his fingers into the wound. It sealed itself closed, leaving behind a thick scab surrounded by an ugly purple and yellow bruise.

"Bastard ruined my shirt," he grumbled as he pulled at the tear in the fabric.

They dragged Billenson and his soldiers into the closest room and unceremoniously dumped them there. Marshicas closed the door behind him as they left. They started back through the floor again, searching for something to help them. They tore desks apart hoping to find a token that would allow them to continue, rifled through papers looking for information.

The whole time, they were constantly looking over their shoulders, constantly aware of how pressed for time they were. They worked their way through half of the floor and were inside a large office when suddenly Robyn stopped and stared at the back wall intently.

"I think," she said hesitantly, "there's something here."

"What kind of thing?" Liliana asked.

"A door. This line here, look how it's different, recessed slightly. I think there's a secret passage out of this room."

"Hopefully, a mechanical switch will open it," Barnabus said. They started searching for one, and a few minutes later, there was a faint click and the section of wall popped free on its hinges as Barnabus pressed down on a floor tile that had been hidden under a rack.

"That'll do it then," Marshicas said, peering into the passage. "The stairs go up."

They trooped in and pulled the wall section back closed behind them. A torch in a holder on the wall flared to life as the door closed, and Liliana pulled it free. "It's not even warm," she remarked as she held it up.

"Everburning," Barnabus replied. "It's only an illusion of fire. Basically, it's a stick that's been enchanted to glow on one end."

"Why does an item like that even exist?"

"Mostly for flavor. Pretty much any caster can create a temporary version as an entry level spell. This just happens to have the illusion effect as well."

"I don't know why I bothered asking. Robin, will you pass me one of those beers?"

"Sure thing, Barney."

The stairs only went up one floor before leveling off into a hallway. It was narrow and cramped, and they were forced to march single file. It was intersected several times by other passages, but none of them knew which way to go. They stopped at one and peered down its length as far as they could see.

"Maybe we should consider getting out of here," Robyn suggested.

"Maybe," Marshicas said. "But on the other hand, we could find another set of stairs leading us up to the top floor, and we haven't seen any soldiers or guards in here either."

"But if they do find us, it would be easy for a few soldiers with bows to cut us apart."

"We haven't found a way out anyway," Liliana put in. "Even if we wanted out of these passages, we can't get out. Let's keep moving, and if an exit presents itself, we'll figure it out from there."

"Which way though?" Robyn asked as she peered around her companions. "These corridors all look the exact same."

"This one," Barnabus said, pointing to his left.

"Why?"

"The strongest magical presence is that direction. I'm assuming that the book would eclipse any other magic."

"Do you even know Detect Magic?"

"Yeah, see, it's right here."

"Why haven't we been using that the whole time?"

"I don't know. Nobody asked me to?"

They started off again, and a minute later, came to another intersection. Barnabus pointed unhesitantly ahead, and they kept marching. Several more twists and turns later, they stopped in their tracks. A small clicking sound came from the wall.

"What is that?" Liliana asked as she strained to listen to it.

"Strange," Robyn said.

"Oh, no."

Barnabus turned on his heel and leaped away from the group, but it was too late. The entire wall swung around, catching them and pushing them through an opening that appeared where the wall had pivoted. They tumbled down a shaft and came out into an empty, featureless room. The opening swiveled closed behind them, leaving them with only one exit, a narrow door on the far wall.

Marshicas strode across the chamber and tugged on the door, but it was locked. "Figured," he muttered to himself. He looked back at his companions. "We might be able to break it down, but I doubt it."

Robyn examined the wall that had swung around and allowed them into the room. She pushed on either side, but it wouldn't budge. "There's some kind of locking mechanism on the other side. I can't budge this either."

They all turned to Barnabus, who held up his hands defensively. "I already got us out of one jail cell today," he said. "I'm tapped out."

"I guess it's time to work on the door then," Marshicas announced. He took a few steps back, then shoulder rushed the door. It barely even shook in its frame as he bounced backwards off of it.

"Move," Liliana told him. She placed herself squarely in front of the door and took a deep breath. Her muscles tensed and relaxed once, then suddenly she lashed out. Her fist struck the wood and it splintered. A second strike followed that, and the third pushed all the way through. She repeated the process in several more places, then backed out of the way.

"Try now," the monk told Marshicas as she delicately picked wooden splinters out of her hand.

Marshicas set himself and charged the door again. When he hit it, wood crunched and it buckled. He backed up for a second charge, then rammed the battered door. It broke apart completely, and he staggered into a hallway. The others followed him through, with Robyn listening intently for noise.

"I think we're good right now," she announced, "but we should definitely keep moving before they find us."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Barnabus said, pointing towards the wall. The face of a woman was poking out, regarding them intently. As he gestured towards her, she sank back into the stone and disappeared.

"That can't be good."

"Ted, do we recognize the face?"

"Well... Do you remember what Stella looks like?"

". . ."

"So, this whole thing is just an excuse to get us to beat up your ex then?"

"No!"

"Let's move, before whatever that was reports our location," Robyn urged the group.

"Which way?"

"It doesn't matter, just go."

They set off in a direction at random. With Robyn constantly checking behind them and Marshicas leading the run, they rushed off down the halls. Barnabus would occasionally suggest a particular direction, and they didn't question his choices, especially when after about ten minutes, they hadn't run into any soldiers yet.

"But where is everyone else? Shouldn't there be people here? Servants, noblemen, merchants?" Liliana asked.

"They've been evacuated," a voice said from the side. The face in the wall was back, and this time, an entire person stepped out of it. She was tall, with blonde hair. Her face could be described as delicate, but the vicious looking spiked mace she wore at her side was anything but. She was lightly armored, and moved easily under the weight.

"So that we don't have to worry about them while we deal with you," a second voice added. Another woman, also blonde, walked around the corner. Unlike her companion, she had no armor or weapons visible on her, but was instead dressed in simple clothes. Her sleeves were tied back at her elbows, and her hair was pulled back into a braid that hung down her back.

"Who are you?" Liliana asked as she eyed the second woman up.

"My name is Natalia. This is my partner, Stellata. We're your executioners," the second woman told them. She leaped forward, inhumany fast, to strike at Liliana. The two fought barehanded, deflecting blows and slapping aside elbows and knees. Robyn brought her bow up and fired at Stellata, but a wall of wind roared out of nowhere and blew the arrow up into the ceiling.

Smirking, Stellata raised her hands and spoke several sharp words while gesturing. A mace made entirely of magical force and identical in shape to the one worn at her hip appeared in the air next to Robyn and took a swipe at her. The ranger yelped in surprise and ducked away, turning a direct hit into a glancing blow across her shoulder.

Marshicas charged through the wind wall, barreling into Stellata on the other side. She staggered, but slapped a hand out onto the paladin and sent waves of crippling pain rolling through his body. His joints locked up for a moment, then he shook himself out of it and stabbed at her with his sword. It scraped across her body, doing no harm, and she grinned at him evilly. A few muttered words later and another blast of pain shot into him from her outstretched hand.

Liliana and Natalia battled off to the side. Liliana played defensively, blocking the other woman's repeated strikes at her face, throat, and hands. Any attempts she made at striking back were quickly meant with devastatingly fast counters. "The Krovmuga school?" she asked as she deflected a knife jab meant to crush her windpipe.

Natalia responded with a series of quick punches, all of which were deflected. "Black Goat?" she shot back. "They always were good at defense."

"We learn to protect ourselves first," Liliana acknowledged.

"Protect yourself from this," Natalia snarled. Her hand flashed forward, and a glint of steel was visible for a fraction of a second as she plunged a small blade into Liliana's blocking forearm. The monk accepted the blow, twisted her arm away to rip the knife out of Natalia's grasp, and used her momentum to pull her opponent off balance and slam a knee into Natalia's abdomen.

Robyn hesitated for several seconds as she watched the two monks fight. She decided that they were too intertwined and moving too quickly to reliably be able to join the melee, she drew her blade and rushed through the wall of wind to help Marshicas. She had barely cleared it when a wave of energy broke over her, locking her into place.

Stellata kept up a steady stream of chanting as she battled Marshicas. A second copy of her mace appeared near her and attacked the paladin, while the first one turned on Barnabus and began swiping at him. The bard sang out a spell and illusionary copies of himself sprang up all around him. They moved through each other in a confusing, ever shifting jumble. Reluctantly, with a sidelong glance at the Liliana and Natalia, he crossed the wind wall and joined the battle against Stellata.

Even surrounded three on one, the cleric didn't seem worried. Marshicas struck again, and her magical protections held against the blow. Robyn was still frozen in place, and Barnabus was so clearly reluctant to engage her that she doubted he'd make a move unless it was clear she was already beaten. He drew a slender blade, and his attacks were so half-hearted that she didn't even try to block them.

A cry of pain drew all of their attention to the side. Natalia stumbled backwards from her clench with Liliana, her hand grasping at her face. With a sickening splurt, she ripped the small, two inch bladed knife out and cast it aside. It bounced across the floor until it hit the wind wall, where it was ripped up into the air to clang off the ceiling.

Before she could regain her equilibrium, Liliana was on her. A series of short, punishing blows had Natalia reeling, followed by a pair of quick, knee blasting kicks. The monk dropped to the floor, and Liliana followed her with a knee pressed to the throat. Natalia choked, but managed to find enough of herself to lock her hands onto Liliana's leg and tip her opponent over.

Robyn fought against the magic locking her muscles rigid, but for a long moment, she felt helpless against it. She refused to give up, and continued to try to force her body into movement. A finger twitched, and her eye flickered slightly. Soon enough, she shook off the magic and rejoined the battle.

Barnabus began singing, and his magic entwined with the words. Marshicas and Robyn both felt energy flush through them, their vigor and strength renewed by the bard's magic. They pummeled Stellta mercilessly, all the while deflecting her two magic-crafted maces. Marshicas took a solid hit from one, but shook it off and ignored it.

Abruptly, it was over. Stellta fell to the ground, choking on her own blood as Robyn's blade carved through her lungs. Marshicas brought his own sword down on the evil cleric, silencing her. The wind wall died away, revealing, Liliana and Natalia locked together, the former grinding the latter's face into the granite floor while simultaneously punishing her with repeated blows to the back of the head.

Finally, there was a loud crack, and Natalia's body went limp. Liliana slowly stood up, her chest heaving and her arms and face covered in blood. Marshicas hurried over to her, but she waved him off. "I'm fine," she said as she took a deep breath.

Marshicas hovered around her protectively while she went through a series of motions, flexing muscles and stopping the bleeding from her own wounds through the almost supernatural self awareness and control monks trained their whole lives to develop.

Barnabus rolled Natalia over and searched her, while Robyn did the same to Stellata. "Here," she called out, brandishing a disc that was a pure, almost glowing, white.

"Do you think it will open up the top floor?" Liliana asked.

"There were only two ahead of us," Robyn replied. "So either the top or the one right below."

"Hopefully the top," Marshicas muttered fervently.

"Either way, we should get going," Barnabus urged as he scanned the hallway and listened for movement. His face had an apprehensive expression on it, and he was absently rolling a small vial full of thick, red, syrupy liquid between his fingers.

"What's that?" Robyn asked, pointing at the vial.

"Potion I found on her," he said, absently gesturing towards Stellata's body. "Not sure what it does yet."

"It's not important right now," Marshicas cut in. "We've still got a job to complete."

They hurried away, following Robyn as she attempted to navigate the floor. Several minutes later, they emerged onto an open terrace overlooking the city. They peered upwards, gauging the distance between them and the top of the fortress.

"Two floors," Marshicas said. "Could we get up there from the outside?"

"I could," Robyn said confidently. "Probably Liliana could too."

The monk nodded. "That shouldn't be too difficult a climb."

"Well I can't," Barnabus said flatly. "So unless you're going to abandon me..."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"Hey!"

"Just kidding, Barney."

"Maybe we could get through there," Robyn said, pointing towards a tower several hundred feet away. It was attached to the wall circling the fortress, and a delicate bridge spanned between its top and another terrace on the top floor. The top of the wall itself was two floors down and about twenty feet out from the edge of the terrace they stood on.

"I don't know," Marshicas said. "That's a long jump, and a long trip down if we don't make it."

"I have a spell that can get us over there," Barnabus assured him. "But we won't be able to get back up with it."

Liliana glanced uncertainly towards the wall above them. She knew she could scale it quickly, but not without leaving half their group behind. As loathe as she was to backtrack, it looked like the tower was their best bet for ascending higher.

"Do it," she ordered. "We're not splitting up now."

"Alright, get ready to jump," the bard warned. He intoned a single word, then turned and leaped out into space. He drifted across the open expanse, and the others leaped after him. They landed on the wall, and immediately broke for the tower. They were halfway there when soldiers poured out of it, and a burst of light shone red over their heads.

"Wizard!" Robyn cried, pointing towards a robed figure in the back of the crowd of soldiers. She raised her bow and arced an arrow over the soldiers into the figure's shoulder. With a startled oath, he raised his hands and disappeared from view. Robyn lobbed another arrow over the soldiers' heads, but it bounced harmlessly off the stone battlements.

Marshicas and Liliana advanced on the soldiers. The wall was narrow enough that only three men could stand against them at a time, and they made quick work of the first set. The second crashed into them hard though, throwing Marshicas to the side, where he toppled over the wall.

He grabbed at the edge desperately. He swung by one hand; the other held his sword. With a lurch, he hurled it up and over back onto the wall, then locked both hands onto the edge. He kicked with his feet against the stone as he struggled to pull himself back up. His armor, heavy at the best of times, was dragging him down. It would be the death of him if he didn't find some way to pull himself up.

Unfortunately, all of his companions were busy fending off the soldiers. Robyn and Barnabus worked together to hold the interior side of the wall, while Liliana battled two soldiers herself. She was a whirlwind of flailing limbs as she darted between their attacks and struck at their vulnerable joints. Crushing blows struck their shoulders, elbows, and wrists, tossing them off balance and sending numbing waves down their arms.

Robyn beat back a soldier with her blade, and Barnabus took advantage of the opening to dart over to the wall and grab Marshicas by the wrist. With a heave, he pulled up and back, and the paladin scrambled half over the wall. He kicked the rest of the way back up, then scooped up his sword from where it lay nearby. With roar, he charged back into melee.

Robyn willingly retreated behind him and took up her bow again. Her elven senses, so much keener than her human companions, told her that the wizard was still alive, that he hadn't retreated from the battle. He was somewhere in the back, waiting for the perfect moment to unleash his magic and turn the tides.

She tuned out the noise of battle, sharpened her hearing, listening for the faint sound she knew must be there. Her bow was raised, and arrow on the string. For a split second, she heard it, the man's voice as he chanted. She let her fingers slip loose, and the arrow arced through the air. A loud thunk as the tip pierced flesh, followed by a cry of pain, greeted her ears. She opened her eyes and smiled, but it was a cold, hard smile.

The wizard wasn't dead, but she'd proven he couldn't hide behind his invisibility. Her companions pushed through the ranks of soldiers, leaving a dozen men slaughtered in their wake. Only a bare handful were still standing, and none of them were still eager to engage the dangerous group.

Suddenly, the wizard appeared, a glass rod held in his hands and pointed straight down the wall. A thunderous clap rang out and a tremendous bolt of lightning arced through the air. It passed through two of the soldiers and struck Marshicas head on. Liliana dived off to the side, but was caught in enough of it that her hair arced out to stand on end.

Barnabus was blasted from his feet and thrown back through the air. He landed on his back, and it was a long moment before he regained his feet. Only Robyn managed to avoid taking damage from the spell, and then only because she'd happened to be standing off to the side when it went off.

The two soldiers that the wizard had struck had blackened skin, and curls of smoke rose up from the gaps in their armor. They both fell to the stone, blades tumbling out of their hands. Marshicas recovered before the remaining soldier, who stood there, shocked even though he hadn't been hit. The paladin rushed him and, slamming into him, tipped him over the edge. The soldier's scream echoed over the battlements for several long seconds before it abruptly cut off.

Liliana closed in on the wizard, led by several arrows from Robyn. The man spun on his heel, his robes whirling around him as he moved. He ran back into the tower, and the door slammed closed behind him. Before he could lock it, Liliana hit it with a flying kick. It slammed back open, and she disappeared into the interior of the tower. Several bone pulping crunches could be heard mingled with the whimpered pleas of the wizard. A sharp crack rang out, and all went silent.

The others joined her as she stood over the wizard's body. She looked not down at it, but instead at the interior of the tower. A weapons rack, almost completely empty, hung on the wall near the door, and the far wall had a rough hewn wooden table with three chairs pushed up against it. A spiraling set of stairs clung to the wall as it looped around several times overhead.

"Search him," the monk said, giving the wizard's body a kick. Barnabus knelt down and roughly turned the man out. He discarded various spell components in the wizard's pockets, but kept a small smattering of precious gems he found. Several parchments and a wand where also tucked into the man's robes.

"Nothing I can use right now. If we had more time, I'd look these things over and see what they are." Barnabus paused, then admitted, "My talents in this area are limited anyway though, so there's no guarantee that this stuff would be useful to us even if I had the time to examine them."

"Leave them or take them then," the monk said decisively. "No keys on him though, so we'll have to hope this white one will do if we need it."

They trooped up the stairs, Liliana taking them three at a time and the rest of the group following more slowly. A trap door at the top was closed, but unlocked, and she threw it open. They climbed onto the top of the tower and looked towards the main keep of the fortress. The bridge was narrow and delicate looking, and it was a run of almost two hundred feet to the terrace it connected to.

"We'll be completely exposed," Robyn commented.

"Make the run quickly then," Liliana advised. She didn't wait for them, but sprinted off ahead. Marshicas tried to grab her as she slipped by, but missed. She was halfway out across the bridge before the others had even started. She knew she needed to restrain herself, but her goal was so close. She gave a single backward glance as she hurried forward.

Despite how narrow she'd allowed her focus to become, she still managed to dodge the crossbow bolt fired at her. It bounced off the stone harmlessly, but two more followed it. Liliana skipped to the side and skittered backwards to avoid them. She looked up and saw a trio of soldiers floating in the air about twenty feet above the terrace at the end of the bridge.

Cries of warning sounded behind her, and she spun in place to see three more soldiers hovering in the air behind her. Long cloaks flapped around them, pinned in place by a wide, flat disc stamped with the emblem of the Goliath Organization, and each held a heavy crossbow in his hands. They raised the crossbows in unison and fired on Liliana.

She dodged two of them, but the third took her through the meat of her arm. A second later, three arrows pierced through one of the soldiers as Robyn unloaded from her quiver. Liliana snapped the wooden shaft in her arm and forced the arrow out the other side. She gritted her teeth, then hurled the broken pieces of arrow away.

Marshicas and Barnabus retreated back into the tower while Robyn covered them. Liliana watched the soldiers warily as they reloaded their crossbows and took aim. The ones flanking the bridge turned to fire on Robyn, while the ones at the far end shot at Liliana. The monk could do little but dodge, but Robyn retaliated with another set of arrows.

The soldiers flew away from the ranger, and Liliana saw her chance. She leaped off of the bridge, closed the gap of about ten feet and crashed into one of the men that had flown too close. She hit him with a flying kick, and they tangled together as they tumbled through the air. A moment later, the man gave a terrified scream as she ripped the cloak off from around his neck. They plummeted down together for a few seconds, then she began to rise back up, the cloak secured around her neck.

Liliana flew directly into the remaining soldier still within Robyn's range. He saw her coming at the last second and spun in the air to face her, but by then, it was far too late. She unleashed a salvo of punches and kicks to the man's face and chest, snapping his head backwards with each blow. She grabbed hold of the cloak and tore it away from the man, sending him plummeting to the ground below.

"Get me some help up here," she yelled down to Robyn as she tossed the cloak, emblem still pinned to its folds, towards her companion. Robyn darted back to the trapdoor and said something that Liliana couldn't make out, and a moment later, Marshicas emerged. He unfastened his own cloak and accepted the flying cloak from Robyn, then began to float up through the air.

The other soldiers hadn't been idle, however. They closed in as a unit, and fired in unison. Liliana managed to wheel in place and avoid two of the bolt, but the third slammed into her midrift and sent her spinning through the air as she clutched at it. Marshicas soared past her while the soldiers drifted upwards and reloaded their crossbows.

"Get down here," Robyn called up to Liliana. The monk gave a last look to the soldiers above her, then descended down to the bridge. Robyn ran up and pushed Liliana's hands aside so she could look at the crossbow bolt.

"This is going to hurt," she advised the monk. She grabbed the bolt firmly, and tore it back out. Immediately, she started chanting the words to a healing spell, and pale green light appeared around Liliana's stomach. It looked as if it had come from the wound itself, and a moment later, it disappeared as the hole started to close over.

"That's good enough," Liliana said, starting to rise. Robyn made to grab the hem of her cloak, but missed, and the monk took off again.

"Damn it," Robyn cursed as she watched Liliana fly away. Barnabus joined her and they stared up at the aerial battle overhead together.

"We can't just stay up here," Barnabus said as he scanned the fortress below them for movement. "Come on. At least we can cross the bridge while the soldiers are distracted."

They rushed out together across the bridge to the terrace. The battle had gone so far overhead that Robyn didn't even think to waste arrows trying to fire into it. She heard a loud crack from above, and a soldier dropped down and landed face first on the granite near her. His head was garishly twisted around, though she couldn't tell if it was from the impact or if it had caused his death and subsequent fall.

Robyn crouched down and pulled the soldier's cloak off. She grimaced as she regarded the interior, which was splattered with blood. Shrugging, she unpinned her own cloak and replaced it, then activated its magic and flew up. Before she could reach the fight, however, it ended.

One soldier slid slowly backwards off Marshicas's sword, and Liliana rode the other one back down to the stone and she slammed his head with repeated elbow blows. They stripped the rest of the cloaks away, then left the bodies where they'd landed.

"That'll cover our escape then."

"If we ever get to the end. How much longer is this going to take, Ted?"

"Yeah, I drank all your beer already, and I'm feeling like we might need to take a break to get more if this isn't going to be done soon."

"You're almost done guys, I promise."

"Come on, it hasn't been that bad."

"It's just a bit outside our normal activities comfort zone, and it's been a pretty large dose to take all at once."

"Yeah, that and the rules are really confusing."

"What? No they're not. It's all pretty straight forward."

"Ted, you've got three full sized hardcover books just for the rules of this game, not even counting the other ones on your shelf. You don't think three books worth of rules is a bit much? Most board games have their rules printed on a single leaflet sized page."

"Well... ok, so it's a lot to take in at once. But it's been fun, right?"

"Yeah, buddy. Sure."

"Eh... it's not the worst night in I've ever had."

"I miss bimbos..."

"Anyway, you guys grab the flying cloaks..."

"We should get going before any more soldiers show up," Robyn urged.

They crossed the terrace to the arched doorway leading inside, but stopped at Barnabus's insistence. "Look," he said, pointing upwards. "We're still a floor shy, and there's a balcony up there. Why don't we fly up and see if we can get in through that?"

"That's a reasonable plan," Marshicas agreed. They activated the cloaks and rose through the air. A moment later, they stood on the balcony that Barnabus had noted and looked in through a set of double glass doors. There was no movement inside, and the doors opened without resistance when they turned the handles.

Inside was a plain circular room with glass dome ceiling. The glass was set into a honeycombed pattern gold framework, which cast hexagonal shadows on the ground. Eight rib-like pillars rose up around the room, each one curving inward and then terminating as it met the glass dome. In the center of the room, suspended in the air over a marble pedestal, was a thick, leather bound book accented with gold trim and studded with gems.

The book was open, and its pages flipped on their own, as if a strong breeze had gusted across its surface. The group approached it cautiously, wary of a trap. No one and nothing jumped out at them, however, and they stood in front of the book. Barnabus reached out hesitantly, stopped, and looked at Liliana.

"This is it?" he asked.

"I don't know," she answered uncertainly. "It seems like it, but why is it unguarded here?"

Barnabus sang quietly under his breath, and looked around. "The book is magical," he informed them. "Nothing else appears to be."

"I guess they had no reason to put defenses in here," Marshicas said. "After all, there was an entire fortress between us and this point to go through first."

He reached out and grabbed the book. A sharp intake of breath from Robyn followed by a, "Stop!" came a second too late to prevent him from grabbing it. As soon as his hand closed on the spine, it shimmered in place and disappeared. A low rumbling filled the room and it started vibrating, almost as if it were straining against itself.

A moment later, a series of thunderous explosions went off as stone constructs ripped their way out of the pillars. Each was man sized and shaped, and made of apparently smooth, polished rock. Their faces were blank, featureless masks, but they advanced unerringly towards the group.

"A mistake on your part, I'm afraid. And one that will prove quite costly," a voice announced as the air shimmered on the far side of the room. An open doorway appeared, with a man of middle years standing in it. A book floated in the air next to him, identical to the illusionary one Marshicas had tried to grab.

"My name is Hammond, and I am the Chief Architect of the Goliath Organization," the man said with a bow.

"Hammond Druthers never worked for GNB!"

"I know, it's just... I know, ok. Just go with it."

"Wait, Ted... Did you make your old boss that you hated the final bad guy in this game?"

". . . Anyway, the eight stone men are advancing towards you."

"This book has been very useful," Hammond said with a grin. "It's a big time saver, though not as fast as I'd like. Still, with proper preparation, it works just fine."

As he spoke, a tall spike of stone rose up from the floor in the middle of the group. Liliana grabbed Robyn and pulled her backwards away from it, while Barnabus was already moving to find a break in the stone men's line. Marshicas threw a hand over his face to shield it as the spike exploded outwards a moment later. The sound of a hundred jagged edged stones bouncing off his armor filled the room.

"Very useful," Hammond repeated.

Before they could do anything, the stone men reached them. Marshicas hacked at one with his sword, but it was just like striking a statue. His weapon vibrated painfully in his hand, and the stone man was unharmed. With a snarl, he swept his blade back out, this time not to cut but just to push. He knocked the stone man aside, a feat that was harder than it should have been, but then, he supposed a man made of solid rock was heavier than one of flesh and blood.

He ducked through the opening he'd made and skirted a second construct as he crossed the room to reach Hammond. The architect laughed, and a curtain of light bloomed between them. As Marshicas crossed it, it detonated, throwing him backwards to land painfully on the floor.

Liliana batted aside the attacks of two stone men, dodging powerful, bone shattering blows and pushing aside the ones she couldn't avoid. She was playing purely defensive, waiting for an opening. Behind her, Robyn took up her bow and fired at Hammond. Two arrows leaped through the air, only to be caught by some invisible force and hang there for a second before sagging down to the floor.

Marshicas regained his feet and stared around, confused, as several copies of Barnabus weaved around him. Half of the stone men chased them around, trying to grab at them. Somewhere in the tangle was the real Barnabus, and he was putting all his effort into keeping free of the constructs.

That still left two free stone men, though, and both homed in on him. He struck at them viciously, but his attacks did little damage. A strong blow that would have sent a man reeling did nothing more than chip the stone men's surface. And underneath that surface was only more stone. They couldn't win against the constructs the way they were fighting.

Liliana had already realized that, had started maneuvering the two stone men attacking her into position. Each narrow miss and perfectly executed dodge caused one of them to strike the other. Though they paid as little attention to their own blows as they had to hers, theirs were substantially more damaging, and spiderweb fractures ran through their arms from crashing into one another.

Robyn advanced on Hammond, and he responded by conjuring a green dart and shooting it through the air at her. She nimbly skipped aside and it sunk into the stone wall behind her, where it hissed as it oozed acid. Undaunted, she continued forward. Hammond decided to change tactics.

"If I can't hit you like that," he said, letting the threat hang in the air.

A moment later, she felt a spike of pain in her mind. She determinedly shook her head and kept moving. The spike flattened out and her entire brain felt like it was on fire. Her vision blurred, but she kept walking.

Her consciousness scattered into the darkness, and she knew only fragments of what was going on around her. She saw a stone man detach itself from battle with Marshicas and advance towards her, then only black again. Hammond was laughing as he watched his constructs battle her friends; everything was dark. Sight came and went, each window of light smaller and smaller, until finally it was completely black.

She could still hear Hammond's laughter, and the sound of the stone man crossing the floor towards her, but her eyes told her nothing. The pain in her head was gone, and she could focus again, just not see. Pain blossomed on her shoulder, and she spun away from the stone man before it could clobber her again.

"It almost seems a shame to kill people as skillful as your group. You should have been working for us instead of fighting us," Hammond droned on. "In fact, maybe a bit of mind control is just the thing. I'm sure the book can help us with that."

Robyn fired another arrow at the sound of Hammond's voice, but if it came anywhere near him, he had no audible reaction. She wanted to curse in frustration. There was no time for it though, as the scraping sound of the stone man was uncomfortably close, and she felt a swish of air pass her by as a second blow narrowly missed her.

Liliana finally struck a blow of her own against the weakened stone men she was fighting. She slammed her foot into the chest of one, and it broke apart, fracturing down the many spiderweb cracks and turning to the rubble. She spun in place and delivered a heavy punch to the other, and large chunks of it broke off. It ignored the damage and kept coming, and she broke it apart with several more well placed attacks.

"What's this?" Hammond asked, surprised, as he surveyed her work.

"You're next," she promised grimly. She advanced towards him, only to have another stone man cut her off.

"It'll be only the work of a moment to repair them, I assure you," the architect told her. The pages of the book next to him began flapping through the air, and sparkles of light floated away. They descended on the broken constructs, and shards of stone rose up and began reattaching themselves together.

"That's just great," Marshicas groaned.

"What's going on?" Robyn called, as she danced backwards. "I can't see anymore. He did something to me."

"Nothing to worry about," Liliana said steadily. "He's rebuilding the stone men I destroyed. If I can break them once though, I can do it again."

"That's not reassuring," Robyn muttered to herself.

Hammond watched the process of his minions reconstruction intently, so much so that he didn't notice Barnabus until it was too late. The bard sank a length of steel into the architect's side, then reached past him and plucked the book out of the air. With a resounding thump, he slammed the cover on it. Immediately, the stone men became inanimate, and the two that had partially reformed collapsed back into a pile of rubble.

"No," Hammond gasped. "You... can't..."

Barnabus's face distorted grossly for a second, and when it righted itself, it was no longer the face they'd all known. A handsome man with pronounced cheekbones and fine hair looked back at them. "Finally," he said.

"You!" Hammond said.

"Yes, me," Barnabus smiled. His outfit changed appearance, and he looked nothing at all any more like the man who'd been traveling with them. Instead, the emblem of the Goliath Organization, made of golden thread and sewn into his clothes, glinted across his chest.

"Wait, what's going on here?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you guys? I'm a double agent."

"What? Ted! Can he do that?"

". . . You bastard."

"What does that mean?"

"Barney told me he was using magic to disguise his true appearance, but he didn't tell me why."

"Barney!"

"We're a big group," Barnabus said. "Lots of factions within the whole. And now mine has control of the book. I couldn't have done it without you all."

Barnabus sang quickly, and his form turned misty and ghosted down the hallway. Liliana gave chase, but he seeped through the cracks of a locked door at the far end, and she returned empty handed. Marshicas was working on Robyn, but he couldn't break the spell blinding her.

"We have to leave, I think," he said quietly. "We're exhausted, Robyn's blind, and Barnabus betrayed us. We need to retreat before we end up dead. We'll come back for him though. This isn't the end."

They strode back out onto the balcony, used the magic of their stolen cloaks, and flew away from the fortress, which seethed under them like a hive of angry ants.

"Well, that was not how I saw that ending."

"I don't think any of us thought it would go that way."

"Barney, you're an ass."

"What? Come on guys, it's just a game. I won, don't be mad about that."

"Hey Barney?"

"Yeah, Marshall?"

*SLAP*