For as long as I remember I have loved the idea of going to Hogwarts, my parents totally loved going there and they talk about it all the time. I suffered through public school until I turned 11 and finally I received my admission letter. Let me tell you, nothing feels as good as not having to take another science class ever again.

Finally, the day had come. I was going to Hogwarts after all the waiting, after all this time. When I got there it was as magical as I had imagined it. Maybe even more. As soon as I approached the castle there was a moment where the noise around me died down. I was staring at it in a sort of awe, whilst trying to absorb the beauty and essence of the structure. This feeling didn't quite die until I was well inside the castle and the Sorting ceremony began. I went to bed that night feeling overwhelmed, but excited.

I had my first class the next day. Potions with Professor Snape. It was quite unusual, I guess I should begin by telling you about this kid in my class, his name is Harry Potter. Honestly? He was pretty cute. Not only was he cute, but he was famous. Everybody knew who he was, and much like everyone else I was just itching to be friends with him. He defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named when he was just one year old. I mean isn't that just crazy? I was one and I couldn't even walk, and this kid just destroyed an entire evil entity. You know, no big deal.

On this particular day though, Professor Snape called his name very slowly, while lowering the attendance sheet and honestly, he was being a creep. I decided he might just be shocked that Harry Freaking Potter was in his class. Here is where it got weird though, he started asking this poor kid a bunch of super weird questions as though he was supposed to know the answers to them? And there was this weird girl with frizzy hair who tried to answer the questions and Snape was just being an ass ignoring her and focusing on Harry. Poor kid. No parents and being targeted by the professor? Oof.

Still I was determined to turn his day around… and you know, popularity by association. I tried to catch him outside of class, but I couldn't keep up with him. Too many damn people in the class. And I didn't want to get stepped on. I waited until the next Potion's class.

The next time I saw Harry I was determined to talk to him, I just didn't know how. Should I drop something near him and ask him to get it? Should I ask him for help? So much was running through my mind that I accidentally ended up burning my robe. So much for talking to him. Another class passed by and I didn't get to speak to him. I bet I could have made a ton of friends had I tried to associate with other people but all I wanted was to be friends with Harry.

A few nights later, I decided I might follow Harry around a bit. Not too creepily, just enough to know where I might just accidentally catch him. You know, Randomly. I heard a lot of noise in the common room, so I came down stairs to see Neville Longbottom just on the ground, frozen. I helped him up and asked what happened. "It was Harry." Were the only words he kept uttering, over and over. And so I set off on a mission to see where Harry could have gone. Immensely worried about this boy with whom I wasn't friends with but kind of interested in. I paced around the school, it was dark at night and I couldn't see very far. I tried to navigate but ended up back in bed out of fear.

The next day there was a quidditch match, I wanted to go to see my man, Harry Potter play. Unfortunately, I had too much homework, so I had to stay in. Honestly, I had a pretty decent day. It had been a few hours since I had seen anyone in the common room, but I have heard that sometimes quidditch games go for days so I wasn't bothered. I continued working on my Potions assignment. Here is the thing, I honestly try my hardest to focus but then I just drift into thought about Harry ALL. THE. TIME. Like seriously? What is my issue? You know…I should go watch the game. I have to support my man and all. I put on a sweater and headed out, it was precariously silent in the halls. I was a little scared… it's never this quiet in here.

As I roamed the empty halls I decided to cut through the Great Hall, as I entered I saw everyone in there. So quiet you could hear a pin drop. No one was sitting with their houses. Instead everyone was split up in their groups. You see I never made any friends, so I didn't have anyone to ask what has happening. I don't know what is going on and I am growing increasingly frustrated that I couldn't see anyone from my house to ask what was going on, I walked closer to the end of the hall and I saw all the Gryffindor's sitting together. Harry and his friends were no where to be seen.

I started panicking, my heart was racing, I didn't know what was going on, so I stood in shock, silently. "Do you think he could be dead?" I heard one voice say.

"Don't say that" A girl said.

Everything around me became blurry. I needed to sit down. I felt everything around me get fuzzy, I couldn't breathe, I could swear was having a stroke. I sat down and continued to listen to broken conversation to piece it together, but nothing was quite processing.

"Wait, what happened?" I heard myself say. Slowly, every head turned towards me.

"Weren't you there?" said one girl, I shook my head.

"Well Harry Potter had spotted the snitch, I assume, and was headed towards the ground alarmingly fast, we thought he might be able to save himself, but he hit the ground pretty hard, head first. He went down and tumbled a few times. I was hoping he would pop back up and be okay. I guess not."

"Poor kid defeated the dark lord but lost to a broomstick" I heard a voice say. Suddenly I could feel my blood boiling, steam coming out of my ears. I was going to lose it. "he could be dead, and you have the audacity to say that? Really? Are you fucking serious?" I didn't realize I was yelling. I stormed back to my bed.

I stayed in bed for the next few days while they tried to help Harry. Nothing worked, we got updates daily. I didn't go to class the next day. I just sat around regretting not telling him when I had the chance. In my moping of being an idiot I turned to my bed, laying on my stomach, with a pillow over my head, I started crying. Why didn't I just talk to him? I could have told him… this could have gone differently. I feel so lost and misguided, and I had no one. I don't know what I am without him.

To be Continued.