Trouble with pantyhose

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUUUCK!"

Mac's frustration reaches an all-time high when she is faced with a road block half a mile short of her intended destination. She bangs her forehead on the steering wheel, causing the horn to blast loudly and all the street workers to glance at the crazy lady in the light green Beetle.

Her day is getting worse as it progresses. Nothing really out of the ordinary happened at work. Incompetent bosses, sleazy coworkers, incredibly mind-numbing workload and scratching, derogatory remarks about her age and sex are all in the day's work by now and she has mostly stopped ranting about it as she has some pretty overprotective and crazy people in her life, who are bound to do something idiotic if they perceive her to be in in a hostile environment.

Still, the said hostile environment irritates her. Some days more than others. And this is the day Cindy Mackenzie finds herself aggravated beyond belief. The squeaky voice of her only female coworker, who invited herself into Mac's office for her morning coffee, made her want to gag her with a computer wire. The new intern, scared of his own shadow, got a thorough tongue lashing for mixing up her paperwork (she still felt guilty about that) and she came really close to literally slapping some sense into her uptight boss.

Her mom called an hour before she was due to leave home and practically demanded her daughter stopped by her parent's house on her way from work. It was no use pleading exhaustion nor promising to stop by on the weekend.

Counting down minutes until her freedom she had all of her things packed and was practically ready to sprint out of there. If she had been just a little less rule abiding and cut out five minutes early, the network collapse would have been someone else's problem. As it was, it took her almost an hour of work, during which she kept on a constant stream of curses and unflattering commentary about the incompetence of overpaid and completely useless computer engineers.

While she was finally leaving the building, her feet aching in the dangerous heels, she was required to wear as part of the company policy, her phone was ringing again. Her mom started on her, not giving her a chance to explain the delay.

"I had to stay at work late, mom! I am on my way," she answered snappishly. "If I promised I'm coming, then I'm coming!"

"Oh, all right." Her mom was obviously taken aback by her daughter's impatience and that only worsened Mac's bad mood as she now felt guilty for snapping at her mom on top of everything. She softened her voice and promised to see her in twenty minutes.

She then started her car and gratefully sighed as the air-conditioning started doing its magic. On her way, she picked up her phone again to let her boyfriend know she was running late as he undoubtedly noticed. But before she could start dialing, her phone pinged sadly as it ran out of battery. She cursed violently, started looking for the charger but after shuffling through the glove compartment while keeping one eye on the road, suddenly remembered she left it in her boyfriend's car. In a fit of anger, she tossed the phone on the passenger seat and it bounced of it and skidded under the seat. Mac snarled, groping under the seat, trying to find it but soon gave up. It was useless anyway.

An hour later, after a coffee with her mom and a computer game with her brother, she is finally almost where she wants to be. If not for the fucking road block. She puts her foot to gas a little too violently as her Beetle practically bounces up on the curb, where she puts it in park behind a sleek black Mercedes, that resembles Logan's (but is not his as he is still on employment and Veronica has finally gotten herself her own car, one that does not attract unwanted attention at stake-outs). The rich really do love their cars even if they look all the same to Mac.

She sighs in dread at the uncomfortable walk she has no choice but make. Juggling her handbag, her laptop, a heavy glass tray full of lasagna and an assortment of plastic containers, her mom forced on her, she stumbles out of her car, slams the door behind her with her hip and fumbles for her car keys. The half mile walk in a lovely Californian ninety-five degree weather at 3:30 p.m in three inch heels, a silk blouse, a long sleeved dark blue blazer, a matching pencil skirt and fucking pantyhose that sticks to her legs and ass like a second skin, her arms aching from the weight of the lasagna and the street workers wolf-whistling behind her, feels like a walk through hell.

When she finally reaches the house, once again thanking whoever invented the air-conditioning, she has an insane urge to cry. That will not do at all so instead she rants.

"DICK! I'm home!" She takes perverse pleasure in the way her voice reverberates throughout the beach house. "I had to work late. Some idiot messed with the network. Can you imagine? Kane Software! It's not just some second rate no-name company! But Kane Software and this happens!" She still yells, laud enough for him to hear her, wherever in the house he is.

She puts all the food on the wardrobe, throws her bag on the floor by the front door carelessly and puts her laptop beside it with a little more caution.

"That's the kind of idiots I have to work with!"

Her blazer lands on the floor beside the handbag and the laptop, revealing a sweat soaked white silk blouse. With a sigh she once again picks up the lasagna and crosses over the foyer towards the kitchen.

"And then mom called that I had to stop by their house. Had to! Urgently! And for what?!" She deposits the lasagna on the kitchen counter with a little more force than strictly necessary. "To pick up a lasagna! Because apparently you commented on her lasagna recipe on Facebook. Since when are you Facebook friends with my mother for heaven's sake?!"

She unbuttons her blouse, welcoming the cool air on her chest and peeks into the dish tray for the first time.

"AND she made enough of it for six people! What the hell was she thinking? I don't even eat meat!" It occurs to Mac that's probably why there is more food in those containers. So, she has something to eat too. A rush of affection for her mother flashes through her so she stops ranting about her.

"Were you calling me? My battery died and the charger is still in your car from the last time." She remembers her phone is still lying forgotten somewhere under the seat in her car. "Shit! I left the phone in the car."

She puts her hand through her damp hair in frustration and moves from the kitchen towards the center of the house.

"Well, I'm not going to get it now. I already had to walk all the way down here from that road block in those fucking-" Thump. A shoe hits the wall by the stairs. "Stupid-" Thump. "Shoes!" She stomps her feet and wishes for the third shoe just so she could kick it at the wall too, as barefoot stomping doesn't quite give her the same satisfaction.

"How did I get here? I am a computer wizard! I could hack into Pentagon. If I wanted to. I'm the best at what I do. And that's not bragging. How have I become reduced to this, this… this mindless puppet, that goes to work in heels? And a skirt? And pantyhose?! Fucking pantyhose! No woman should be forced to wear pantyhose! Especially not in Californian summer! This is criminal!"

Mac is suddenly overcome with a mad urge to be rid of the pantyhose. She starts pulling them off her ass and down her legs, which is no easy feat as the nylon is stuck to her skin. She has finally pulled the offending material down and freed her right foot, hobbling around the hall on her left foot, cursing like a sailor, when it occurs to her she has as of yet hear any sound of Dick. And he is not known for his silence.

"Dick? Are you even listening or am I talking to myself? You better not be just waiting to once again suggest I simply quit my job, marry you and live off your money!" And although she hasn't heard a word out of Dick's mouth at the moment, she finds herself getting annoyed. She abandons her attempts to rescue the last of her body from the stubborn pantyhose and walks towards the living room, the garment dragging behind her, hanging from her foot.

"Because one day I'm going to take you up on your offer, marry you and give all your money to charity. Out of spite!"

And that's the moment she rounds the corner, her hair in total disarray, her blouse hanging open, the bra on full display and the pantyhose hanging of her foot, dragging behind her and is met with a living room full of dumbfounded faces.

She is stunned into silence as her eyes travel from Keith Mars and Wallace sitting in armchairs opposite the couch occupied by Veronica and Logan on one side and Dick, not meeting anyone's eyes, on the other, as far away from them as possible.

Mac briefly considers backtracking, making up some kind of cover story on the spot or simply pretending this never happened but going over her words in her head, she figures she lost the chance to do any of these things when she started going on about marrying Dick. Even if it was spoken off in jest. Besides she is too tired to keep up a façade.

Dick looks nervous and sheepish as she glares at him. Really, couldn't he have warned her?

"Your phone was dead," he tells her as if he knows exactly what she is thinking. And obviously he does.

"Oh."

Her eyes briefly flicker over confused Veronica and ready-to-explode Logan before settling on the safer choice that are Wallace and Mr. Mars, who seemed to have overcome their shock fairly quick. They seem to be averting their eyes but she is certain Mr. Mars has a hard time not bursting out laughing.

"I didn't see your cars," she forces out, quite accusingly, not understanding how could they have sneaked up on her like this. It might not be the important issue here but she would rather concentrate on it than address the elephant in the room.

"The road block," Wallace reminds her, averting his eyes somewhere above her head.

"Oh." Now she remembers she thought that Mercedes reminded her of Logan's. She didn't give it a second thought since Logan was supposed to have been on deployment for another few weeks. What was he doing home anyway? And why was everyone at the beach house?

"And you…" She doesn't know how to politely ask what the hell are they all doing there. Mr. Mars helps her out this time as Veronica and Logan still haven't uttered a word and Mac avoids looking at them anyway.

"Logan got some extra time off and came home early. He invited all of us here for a drink," Keith tells her, he himself obviously not really certain how he found himself there. He too looks somewhere over her head. Is she really that disgusting or something?

Once again Dick seems to read her mind.

"Babe, you know I love it when you walk around in just your bra but maybe you should put something on in the present company," he tells her smirking as she clamps her blouse together with both hands just then remembering the state she is in. She glares at him as if this too is somehow his fault. She knows she's being unfair but before she can comment on it all hell breaks loose.

"What the fuck is going on?" Logan growls, finally coming out of the stupor he had been in and finding his voice, and jumps to his feet charging for Dick, who also scrambles to stand up, his stance half defensive, half offended. Veronica latches onto Logan's bicep either to restrain or egg him on, Mac is not yet sure.

Mac sighs tiredly. That was not what she had in mind for the day. She eyes the men warily, considers leaving them to talk it out or yell it out or fistfight it out. She wishes again they told Logan when he was on the other side of the world and had time to calm down before they saw him in person again. She glares at Dick again for she told him a hundred times to tell Logan and he just kept putting it off. And here they were. She softens at the tortured look on Dick's face. She knows after all how much Logan's approval means to him and the reason he kept putting off telling him.

And it is up to her. No matter how much she wants to hide under a blanket and wait the storm out it is up to her to soothe Logan's fears, reason with Veronica's suspicions and prevent Dick's fall into the deep end. She wedges herself between the two unsettled men her back to Dick, one of her hands raised in a universal "calm down" fashion towards Logan. His face momentarily displays shock and a quite blatant feeling of betrayal as her stance obviously has her siding with Dick. It nearly breaks her.

Logan's eyes focus over her head, angry and accusing. She dares not to look behind her.

"Logan, look at me! Look at me!" she demands forcefully and his eyes finally find hers even as the vein in his neck pulses violently. "Just really look at me." Her voice softens and she has his full attention. "I am okay. I am okay. I am good. I'm not just fine the way people say they are fine. I am okay. Good even. And I have been okay for a while now."

Logan opens his mouth but no words come out of it. She has rendered Logan Echolls speechless. He doesn't know how to react or cannot find words. Or just cannot say them. Her raised hand rests on his chest, now les defensive and more soothing.

"You have always looked out for me. Always protected me. I always knew I could count on you whether it was to beat somebody up or be a pretend boyfriend." His lips twitch at this and out of the corner of her eye she can see Veronica lean in with interest but she doesn't elaborate. "You are a good friend. I have always felt protected knowing you were on my side. And I know you will always be here for me when I need you."

Still, Logan seems speechless and Mac appreciates is because now that she has started, she has some things she needs to say.

"Now I need you to stop looking at me like I'm still that girl."

"What girl?" Logan finally speaks. She wonders briefly if then and there, in front of everybody, really is time for that conversation and apparently Dick wonders too. It is after all why he waited so long to tell his best friend about their relationship; Logan's protectiveness of Mac and the underlying reason for it.

"Mac," he warns, "maybe now isn't-"

"No. Now it is," she interrupts. She would have clutched his arm comfortingly if both of her arms weren't still occupied. One of her hands still rests on Logan's chest and the other is still clutching her blouse together while the pantyhose is still attached to her foot. It is ridiculous, really.

"That terrified confused girl wrapped in only a shower curtain."

Dick is very still behind her as Veronica sucks in a lungful of air and Logan opens his mouth presumably to deny this.

"Don't deny it, Logan. I can see it in your eyes. The way you look at that damaged girl. But I'm not that girl anymore. Look at me!" It briefly crosses her mind the present attire is entirely inappropriate for the current conversation but goes on. "I am okay. I am okay. I will never forget but I got over it. I got over it so I can live a normal live and you were a big part of me getting over it."

"I am okay," she repeats gently. "And Dick isn't going to hurt me. Not like that. And you know that. You know that. You know that better than anyone."

At last, Logan seems to deflate and Mac knows they will all be okay. It may take a while for him to finally let go of a decade worth of deep seeded protectives but they will be okay.

"Yeah," he whispers but his focus has already shifted over her head to the silent staring contest slash conversation that only men understand. She now really just wants to roll her eyes.

Her hand finally falls by her side as she realizes they are other people in the room. She glances at Veronica who is gazing at her boyfriend with a mix of concern and wariness, probably wondering what kind of damage control will she be required to exercise later. Mac sympathizes as she herself wonders the same thing. She still hasn't looked at Dick to gauge his expression. She smiles at Veronica weakly and a look of understanding passes between the women. Keith and Wallace are still glued to their armchairs, trying hard to pretend they are not in the room but obviously unable to look away from the train wreck that is drama in front of them.

Mac steps away from between Dick and Logan slowly as if to afraid to disrupt the unstable but momentarily calm waters. As if woken from a spell both of them look at her and she can finally gauge Dick's expression. He is hurt of course by Logan's reaction. It was just as he was afraid he will respond. They talked about it and anticipated it. But he was still hurt. Mac suspects it will take some time and a few of morning surf dates for him to get over it. For both of them, really. What they do at those surfing dates (when she can clearly see not a ruffle on the surface of the ocean) is anyone's guess. For all she knows they sit on a surf for hours and then go for a beer. Men.

But there is also relief on Dick's face. Pure relief. And she finally feels she did the right thing.

The immediate crisis averted Mac now has no idea how to proceed. It is her trusted Bond that saves her.

"I really have to brush up on my investigative skills. How could I have missed this?" Veronica practically wails and if she didn't know better Mac would think she really was upset about her detective skills.

"So, you didn't know either?" Logan asks. "Well, that makes me feel a lot better." The real Logan reemerges and smirks at his girlfriend. The air clears. As Logan and Veronica tease each other, Mac looks down on herself and realizes she is still half naked.

"Okay then," she puts a stop to her friends bickering. "I have lasagna if you didn't hear before-"

"Oh, we heard," Veronica interrupts gleefully and Mac laughs.

"Ok, I have to change and then-"

"Actually," Keith along with Wallace is halfway out of a chair. "We should go-"

"I said I have a lasagna and we will eat," she says kind of forcefully, her temper flaring. She is annoyed at the interruptions and remembers she has not been in the best of moods to begin with. Logan snorts as both Keith and Wallace sit back down like well-trained puppies.

"Ooookay. Why don't you go change? The sexy secretary look always makes you bitchy." Dick is grinning at her and she like always has a hard time staying annoyed when he does that. She tries glaring anyway. She is not sure Logan and Veronica are ready for them being so familiar with each other. It doesn't faze him one bit as he continues leering at her. "Hot, though. So really, if you don't want to change..."

Even biting her lip doesn't stop her smile from spreading and a short laugh escaping her. She shakes her head.

"You're incorrigible," she sighs and turns back to Keith and Wallace. "But unfortunately he is kind of right. I'm sorry for snapping. These cloths do make me cranky. And my job irritates me even more. And I just walked half a mile in those heels-"

"It's alright, Mac," Keith tries to reassure her.

"And I still have to walk back to get my car. And my phone! Shit!" Mac swears, tiredly dragging both of her hands over her face. Her feet are killing her.

"Chill, Mackie. Just give me your car keys. I'll go get your car when they open the road," Dick placates her, probably wary of a possible emotional outburst.

"You will?" She should be embarrassed of the pathetic wobble in her voice but all she wants to do is burry her head in his chest, breath in his scent and maybe cry. She does neither. Her friends are not ready to see this and she cannot possibly predict the consequences that such an emotional outburst would cause. She had just calmed down Logan and seeing her cry might set him off again. She sucks it up.

"Of course. What kind of boyfriend do you take me for?" he gasps mockingly and winks at her. "Besides with those short legs of yours it'll be night before you come home"

"Excuse me! Those short legs of mine have served me rather well up until now."

"I'm not complaining. They served me well, too." Dick wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. "They are very flexible. The things yo-"

Mac cannot look at anyone as she decides to make an end to what could be a very long description of her bedroom activities and clamps a hand over his mouth even as a smile is threatening to spread on her face. She hisses his name in warning and he stops talking but his eyes are still dancing mischievously.

"Great," she says awkwardly and steps away from Dick, putting some distance between them, aware of everyone's eyes on them. "I'll leave the keys on the wardrobe then. Just… Be careful with my baby, won't you?" Dick rolls his eyes.

"I know how to drive. Nothing will happen to your precious car."

"It better not."

Mac looks at the people in the living room who are all watching the scene in various states of curiosity and astonishment. She once again attempts to move them in the direction of lasagna when she is again interrupted by Keith. She realizes she is starving.

Keith Mars clears his throat clearly still remembering her previous outburst.

"If you're looking for another job Mac, Mars Investigations doesn't pay much but your coworkers would be pretty awesome. And no pantyhose required."

It is not as if she hasn't been toying with the thought. Veronica has let her know she was welcome to the spot when she came home to Neptune. But she had a hard time deciding. It has been her dream to work at a software company like the Kane Software but now that she had it she found out it didn't please her in the slightest. Dreams could change couldn't they? And besides there were other… issues.

"Noooo, not this again," the other issue complains. "Why would you want to go around chasing cheating husbands? And looking for rapists and thieves and murderers and god knows who else? And getting yourself drugged or shot or worse at one of those undercover missions you two are so fond off?"

Mac sighs, rubbing her forehead in frustration. It is not the first time they had this discussion. She wishes Keith didn't mention it just then.

"Dick, she would just work as tech support. There would be no shootings or undercover missions or whatever you have concocted up in your head" Veronica reassures him loftily.

"Oh, I made it up? I imagined the two of you sticking drug testers into an entire house full of drunk frat boys looking for a rapist did I?" Veronica deflates immediately.

"Okay, that was one time. In college."

"Really, I only help minimally on the field if at all. I'm not in any real danger," Mac reassures him. And it really usually starts that way.

"Oh? And that time you went to buy drugs from a member of a Mexican cartel you weren't in any danger?"

"Drug dealers don't usually hurt their clients you know?" she tells him sheepishly.

"And when that woman was shooting at you with a rifle?" Both girls protest at this.

"That wasn't our fault," Veronica protests. "Mac was just supposed to drink a few drinks with that guy so I could take some pictures and show them to his wife."

"Yeah, how were we to know she'll come at me with a rifle?"

"Exactly, everything can go wrong in a moment."

"Oh, come on. It really isn't that dramatic."

"Well it seemed very dramatic when you were bait in that lesbian bar for a serial killer!" he exclaims.

"What?" Keith doesn't look overly happy at not knowing anything about this. Neither does Logan. It is exactly the reason they knew nothing about it.

"Well, nothing happened and- Wait! How do you even know about this?" she demands, turning the tables on him. "Were you spying on me!"

"I wasn't spying. I was just…" Dick tries to defend himself but he has obviously forgotten Mac still has her bitchy clothes on. Most of them anyway.

"Save it! I'll work wherever I want and whatever I want and I don't want to work at Kane anymore."

"You could work from home," Dick brightens at an idea. "That way you're still safe but don't have to wear pantyhose. For all I care you can work naked. I would prefer it actually."

Mac continues glaring at his smiling face. It is not as if she hadn't thought about opening her own business but at the end of the day if she is honest with herself she gets a thrill out of those missions she just insisted are very rare and nothing to write home about. She is a tiny bit addicted to danger. Not that she'll actually voice that. As she said; people in her life are pretty unstable.

"Good luck with that, man," Logan tells Dick sympathetically acknowledging him verbally for the first time. "You're going to need it." Mac guesses it is something to bond over.

Dick tries one last time halfheartedly. "I guess offering you again to live of my money will not go over any better than it did the last twelve times?"

"What do you think?" she asks sarcastically. Dick slumps into the couch resigned. Mac pats his head. "Can we eat already," Mac pleads, exhaustion setting in once again.

"Yes please," Veronica exclaims, helping her brighten the mood. Mac nods.

"Dick, will you put the lasagna in the oven? It needs reheating by now probably. Set the oven on 360 Fahrenheit. I really need to change my clothes. I'll be right back down.

Oh, and also set the table; the plates are probably still in the dishwasher. And find us some alcohol. I think we could all use it."

As she ascends the stairs, clutching the blouse together, the pantyhose dragging behind her, she can hear Veronica comment.

"You know how to turn the oven on?"

"You actually know there is an oven?" Logan asks astonished.

"Of course I know there is an oven," Dick complains sulkily. "Mac doesn't allow me to order take-out more than twice a week. Something about my stomach and arteries and I don't know what else. I told her I have an iron stomach but dude, that woman is so stubborn."

Mac smiles listening to her friends' chatter and at last pulls the damned pantyhose off her foot wowing never to put it on again.