No One Waits For Shit
By ScytheShinigami
Summary: Some people believed Akashi to be the commander of the GoM, they listened to his threats after all and while that seemed true, that isn't. Behind doors and chains, Kuroko was the one tangled in cobwebs. But when will he wake? YaoiHarem Kuroko!
Kuroko stared impassively at the court, ignoring the cheers and jeers of the audience as he watched the play-off between his childhood friend and teammates come to a close end. He could see the bright orange hair of Ogiwara trembling and Kise-kun laughing in the background. Akashi-kun was as smug as he could've been, his smirk placed cruelly onto his features and Aomine-kun wasn't looking bored for once, his smile wide and malicious. Murasakibara-kun was simply munching onto his snacks and Midorima was fucking smiling.
Smiling, damn it.
He didn't know what to do at this point. They broke their promise. He broke their promise. What was the point? To play Ogiwara-kun's team like some shitty piece of meat hung neatly over a pile of gourmet dining food. They were vicious, tearing Meijou apart and mocking their desperate attempt to get back at Teiko. And Ogiwara-kun was no longer able to do anything but shed tears shamelessly.
That's when his breath hitched and he couldn't stand it longer. His whole stature screamed dangerous and murderous, anyone within a mile radius could feel the maliciousness leak from him in waves. Spectators unconsciously stepped away from him warily, chills riding on their spines and goose bumps greeting them with a warning prickle, making their hairs stand on edge.
Fucking shits.
Momoi, who sat beside him in the audience seats for once, looked frightened. Her arms were tightened onto the clipboard that was clutched to her bosom and her bright magenta eyes were blown wide with indescribable fear, her face an open book. She looked ready to cry and honestly, he didn't know whether to give a fricking damn or not.
She had never seen him this mad.
He couldn't care less. He was tired of playing nice and if this was what was going to happen in the first place, he should've quit and thrown their shit the first time it happened. But the Generation of Miracles has their own uses, he mused as he quickly tried to reign in his infamous black temper and inwardly laughing as he watched Momoi with blank eyes, her eyes no longer terrified but one of naivety.
She believed that all was an illusion and Kuroko was for once very thankful of her obliviousness to straight facts. Momoi couldn't be used in any way and that was because she was generally useless. She was smart, yes, but she didn't have enough mental breakage that he could use. He was indifferent and had lived a life totally different from her. And as Kuroko watched Momoi turn back to the game to get more data statistics, his smile turned into a dark open mouthed smirk.
'Heh, life of a yakuza is irresponsible,' a voice smirked darkly in his consciousness and he frowned, batting it away. Damn stupid voices that made no fricking shitty sense, he scowled.
He took out his cellphone from his canvas bag and turned it on. The lights flicked open and beeped accordingly, his fingers quickly pressing onto the contacts icon as he scrolled down for the name. He decided that, that person would be the first to know of his condition. His fingers stopped as he glanced at a particular name.
Mako-non
He pressed it.
From: Tetsuya
Sub: Unknown
Prepare yourself, Mako. I'm nearly there.
Hanamiya Makoto scowled at the text message, his strange eyebrows twitching in irritation but he nonetheless sent an affirmative with his heart beating wildly, almost in apt excitement. He nearly shit himself right there when he received a message again and jumped nearly five feet high as bright strawberry blonde hair invaded his vision, snatching his phone away.
"Oy!" he hissed, watching as Hayama stared at his phone for a moment before throwing his hands up with a yell of joy. He immediately ran around the court while yelling incoherently, lips etched into a large toothy grin.
"He's coming! He's coming!" he began chanting in a high-pitched squeal, startling the rest of the players in the vicinity.
"Ahh…? Who's coming?" a large darkly tanned man asked absentmindedly, chewing burgers one after another but stopped when Hayama began squealing like a teenage girl. Hayama ignored him and continued with his antics, still fizzing around like a fireball.
"….What the freaking hell?" he said, stunned as Hayama began to blaze with fire. Hanamiya was too stunned to see his former teammate go up in flames to retaliate a sarcastic remark.
"Eikichi, Hana-chan, that's unsightly. Please close your mouths," the teen sitting next to another with evil glinting glasses said in an insulted way. Hanamiya snapped his mouth shut and glared ruthlessly.
"Shut the fuck up Reo," he spat viciously.
"Mah, mah Mako-chan. It's okay," the teen with glasses placated mockingly beside Mibuchi Reo, tilting his glasses upward with a leering grin. Hanamiya gave up on giving a proper response, knowing his senpai would just throw it back to him ten times more painful than his own and instead focused on trying not to get scared out of his wits when his phone began to ring even more, messages barging into the space of his cell. He began to sweat when he saw the amount of messages it received.
6 new messages
….Double shit, he was definitely pissed.
_Message 1_
From: Tetsuya
Sub: Unknown
Mako, send the previous Winter Cup and Preliminary Tournament round videos to me. Reply immediately.
The words were obviously stressed out, what was he doing anyway?
_Message 2_
From: Tetsuya
Sub: Unknown
…Did you just ignore me?
_Message 3_
From: Tetsuya
Sub: Unknown
You just threw the phone, didn't you?
_Message 4_
From: Tetsuya
Sub: Unknown
Answer me now, Hanamiya.
Shit, he never calls him by his family name. EVER.
_Message 5_
From: Tetsuya
Sub: Unknown
Hana-chan, are you going to answer or N.O.T?
Damn, one word capitals are starting to show in his message.
_Message 6_
From: Tetsuya
Sub: Unknown
Repeat training section 12. And if you don't, I'm making Y.O.U into a eunuch. Don't try escaping, I know everything.
…quadrillion shit. He groaned, imagining the agonizing pain that would come with the crazy and shitty menu Kuroko had made for him a few years ago. Could it get any worse?
Beep
Scratch that, he jinxed himself. With that, he quickly threw the phone across him towards Imayoshi Shouichi and snickered in glee as his senpai gave a miniscule glance to the somewhat dangerous device before paling considerably. He repeated the same actions as Hanamiya did and threw it across to, unfortunately, Nebuya.
"Hrm?" Nebuya hummed as he held up the offending device up.
From: Tetsuya
Sub: Unknown
…I'm going to [bleep] your [bleep] and make your eyebrows go [bleep] and make sure your [bleep] goes [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]! Fuck this! And your [bleep] will be my [bleep] and [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleeeeeepppppppp]!
"AGH!" Nebuya cried in alarm and threw the cellphone away, his tanned stature going rigid and face white as paper. He was practically shivering and hyperventilating in fear at the threat.
"Damn, Eikichi's got it bad huh?" Reo whistled lowly as he watched Nebuya's frightened stupor with a look of amusement.
"Heh, typical of Ou-sama," Imayoshi snickered, recovering quickly from the terrifying text.
[Static] … Imayoshi?
They froze.
[Static] Fuck this; I know you bastards are there. Do I have to spell everyone's shitty ass names!?
Nebuya gaped and Hayama cheered, completely missing the tense atmosphere.
[Static] Eikichi, Shouichi, Makoto, Reo and Koutaro…. NEED. I. SAY. . MORE?
At the sound of the voice rising in quiet but unnoticeable octaves, they quickly scrambled to snatch the phone which ended them all in a dog pile while Hayama was happily chewing on his WacDonald crispy fries. They all grunted and Hanamiya growled in frustration, the device merely an inch away from his hands.
"Shut the thing up, damn it!" he hissed ferociously, arms still outstretched.
[Static]… What was that? You looking for pain, Ma-ko-to?
Hanamiya paled once more.
[Static] Screw it. I'm calling Tanaka-san to deal with you.
[Static] [Beeps close]
"….."
"Haven't seen Tanaka in a long time," Imayoshi murmured blankly, eyes dead in quiet despair.
"Ah," Nebuya nodded dumbly beside him. Hanamiya groaned again.
"We're screwed," Hanamiya murmured in defeat.
"…That's not the correct term, Hana-chan" Mibuchi disagreed with his friend.
"…."
"THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SHITTY [BLEEP] [BLEEP] TERM!?" Hanamiya snarled, fed up with his idiocy and the fact that Kuroko's number one yankee butler was coming to deal with them wasn't helping in easing the matters in any form.
"….."
"Well, dipshit?" Hanamiya grouched, considerably calm. The rest turned to look at both him and Mibuchi.
"…We're royally and eternally fucked," Mibuchi said with the straightest and calmest face he could muster, internally panicked and shit-faced. The rest gave approving nods and continued staring blankly up at the skies.
"….We're dead" Nebuya commented.
"Ah" Hayama grunted beside him, finally realizing the gravity of the situation.
"…"
"…Nebuya"
"Yeah?"
"Shut the freaking fucking hell up"
A/N: Welcome to the first installment of No One Waits For Shit! Yorokobi nano desu! This series features a Dark!Kuroko but also Gentle!Kuroko and YaoiHarem!Kuroko. I hope you'll enjoy this series as much as I do in writing it. Make sure to come visit my other fanfictions like Between Flames, which is also Yaoi so anyone enjoying it will surely like it. Thanks for reading!
Signing out,
ScytheShinigami.