Chapter One
Hermione Granger always had a plan. No matter what kind of hair-brained scheme Harry and Ron had pulled her into, she was always the one to think ahead and come up with a strategy. However, whether they were sneaking around Hogwarts after curfew or breaking into the Ministry of Magic, those plans nearly always went horribly, utterly, and irreversibly wrong. So, she was understandably put-off by the notion of planning her own wedding.
"No," she groaned, "no, this is all wrong!" Hermione paced through the living room of the Burrow, anxiously tossing her notes into the air. Ron and Harry sat back in bemusement at the display. In the two months that had passed since Ron and Hermione got engaged, Hermione's initial happiness about her wedding had been gradually replaced by her current anxiety, and the self-inflicted pressure to plan everything only made it worse. While there were still moments of joy interspersed with the sheer terror, this was her worst episode by far, and it didn't look like she was stopping any time soon. Ron took a deep breath to brace himself before trying to defuse the situation.
"Hermione," he had barely begun, before she spun and glared. He gulped and, in a much softer tone of voice, tried again. "Hermione, could you please try explaining what's gone wrong?" Ron tried to place a comforting hand on Hermione's shoulder, but she pushed him away and resumed pacing frantically.
"Honestly, Ron! Isn't it obvious?!" She was now glaring at Harry as well, expecting some sort of confirmation, but unfortunately, they were both equally bewildered. Ron dug his palms into his eyes.
"Bloody hell, Hermione, how am I supposed to know what's wrong? You said everything was perfect this morning and I hardly understood why then! And now I'm supposed to understand why it's bloody wrong?!" Ron looked to Harry, wordlessly begging him to take his side. Harry shifted uncomfortably in his chair, silently wishing that he was in the kitchen with Mrs. Weasley instead of caught in between another Ron vs Hermione spat. He was beyond tired of Ron and Hermione's bickering, and even more so of them each expecting him to agree with them about whatever inane thing they were arguing about.
"Uh, Hermione…" Harry paused when Hermione redirected her glare towards him. "…I'm sure that if you just tell us what the problem is, we'll be able to help you fix it." Hermione was silent for a second. Seeing an opening, Ron took Hermione by the shoulders and steered her into the chair he had been sitting in earlier.
"C'mon Hermione, whatever's going on, it can't be as bad as all that. I'm sure we can fix it." Ron knelt next to Hermione and held her hand comfortingly. Hermione begrudgingly rested her head on Ron's shoulder and allowed him to caress her hand for a few minutes, before pulling away and grabbing her notes from off of the floor. She sat back down next to Ron and showed him the notes.
"Look at this seating chart, Ron. You too, Harry. Don't you see the problem with it?" Harry and Ron both looked at the chart, then at each other. Harry raised an eyebrow at Hermione.
"Is the problem that Ron's Aunt Muriel is invited?" Harry snarked. Hermione shook her head.
"Is the problem that we don't have an open bar?" Ron asked hopefully. Hermione rolled her eyes at him and pointed angrily at the chart.
"The problem is that we haven't separated my family from yours, Ron!" Hermione looked at the two of them expectantly but saw no sign of understanding, so she elaborated. "My family Ron! My muggle family, will be celebrating with your wizard family! How are we going to keep them from seeing any magic during the ceremony or the reception?" Ron's eyes widened as he realized what Hermione was saying. The possibility of the Statute of Secrecy being breached certainly outweighed any of the other possible sources of stress that came with wedding planning. The Weasley side of the family vastly outnumbered the Grangers, by a margin of nearly 3 to 1. Hiding any use or mention of magic would be nigh impossible. The trio sat in contemplative silence for a bit, each mulling over this new problem. Every now and then, one of them would offer a solution, but the others would shoot it down.
"We could cast Confundus Charms on all of the muggle guests," Ron supplied, though he quickly played it off as a joke when Hermione looked appalled at the idea. Harry's idea of having separate parties for muggles and wizards was also shot down, but for financial reasons rather than moral ones. The discussion went on like this well into the evening and was only briefly interrupted by Arthur Weasley emerging from the Floo into the living room.
"Hallo boys! Hello Hermione!" Arthur enthusiastically greeted the trio, even giving Hermione a quick peck on the cheeks, and went into the kitchen to check on Molly's cooking. As he walked past, Harry was suddenly struck with an idea. He quickly looked up at Ron and Hermione, who bore similar expressions on their faces. Almost simultaneously, the trio got up and followed after Arthur into the kitchen.
"Er, Mr. Weasley," Harry started, "we seem to have run into an issue with the wedding planning, and we were wondering if you might be able to help us with it." Arthur and Molly both looked surprised at this.
"Harry my boy, as much as I'd like too, I'm not sure I'm going to be of much use with wedding plans." Arthur chuckled slightly at his own self-deprecation.
"Well actually …" Hermione pressed, "it's a concern with muggles. And the Statute of Secrecy." The mention of muggles was more than enough to get the Weasley patriarch's attention. Seeing this, Hermione quickly filled both Weasley parents in on the situation.
"Hmm, I see the problem…" Molly Weasley said furtively. She turned to her husband, who also seemed to be considering the issue. "Arthur, don't you think we could persuade most of the family to hold back on the magic for one night? Surely none of them are strangers to being discreet around muggles." Arthur merely shrugged in response.
"I'm sure most of them would agree, but you know how wedding receptions are. After the first couple hours of drinking, people tend to loosen up a bit too much." He grinned at the trio, who were now sitting at the dinner table with the Weasley parents. "Why, I remember at my and Molly's wedding, one of my great uncles tried to transfigure one of the centerpieces into a…" he was cut off by Molly smacking his shoulder, with a look of both amusement and embarrassment on her face. The trio burst out laughing for a bit before Arthur supplied his own solution. "What you really want to be thinking about Hermione, is how you'll be dealing with mentions of magic. We can obliviate anyone who sees the odd charm or hex, but we can't patrol everyone who hears anything suspicious. And we can hardly ban everything magic related as a topic of conversation." This new problem gave Hermione a great deal of pause. Fortunately, it had given Harry an idea.
"Well, we don't have to avoid mentioning all magic, we just need to have muggle-friendly explanations for everything to avoid making people suspicious." Upon seeing looks of confusion from the Weasleys, Harry clarified his point. "You see, the Dursleys couldn't very well tell their neighbors that I was at Hogwarts during the year, so they told everyone that I was at some muggle boarding school. I think Dean's and Seamus' families did something similar with their muggle relatives." Hermione lit up as she realized what Harry meant.
"Of course! My family is already under the impression that I was at a special boarding school, so we just need to offer up similar explanations whenever something magical comes up!" Hermione turned to Ron excitedly. "Can you remember how many muggle-borns and half-bloods we've invited?" Ron scrunched his eyebrows together as he wracked his memory.
"Erm, aside from Dean and Seamus, we've invited Dennis Creevey, Hannah Abbott, and…" he shrugged nonchalantly. "I can't think of anyone else, but aside from them, I don't think it'll be too difficult to keep discussions vague around the muggles." Hermione nodded as she added to her notes.
"And of course, my parents will be able to help keep things under wraps," she muttered. A wave of relief seemed to wash over her as she re-read her notes. "So that's what we'll do then," Hermione smiled as Ron grasped her hand, "we'll just have to be prepared with muggle-friendly explanations in case any of my relatives overhear anything." She beamed at Harry, who had become preoccupied with his watch. "Harry, you'll help me come up with some basic ones, won't you?" Harry started, nearly dropping his watch.
"Ah, yeah, of course," Harry quickly responded, although it was clear he wasn't quite sure what he was responding to. "Er, sorry to run out, but I promised Ginny I'd meet up with her after her practice today." Molly nodded knowingly as Harry left.
"Of course, dear! And you'll both be back in time for dinner, won't you?" She raised a questioning eyebrow at Harry, who was starting to wish he had his invisibility cloak with him.
"Yeah, yeah of course," he said quickly, diving into the fireplace before anyone else could comment on the amount of time he had been spending with Ginny. Once he had left, Hermione turned back to Ron, who's ears seemed to have turned slightly red.
"Ron, you'll remember to mail all of the invitations tomorrow morning, won't you?" Ron nodded vigorously, as if he was shaking his previous thoughts out of his head.
"Right, right, of course," he said confidently. "But you'll handle the muggle post, won't you?" He added sheepishly. Hermione sharply raised an eyebrow at him.
"You said you were learning how muggle post worked." She smirked at the way Ron rubbed his hands together, a tell-tale sign that he had done something wrong.
"Well I did try, but…" Ron shrugged helplessly, "I just can't figure out how the bloody stamps work." Hermione huffed, and excused herself from the table.
"Well in that case, I'm going to go put stamps on all of the muggle invitations." She briskly walked up to her room before Ron could protest. He dropped his head into his hands and moaned.
"Does this get any easier mum?" Molly sympathetically put her arms around her youngest son.
"All weddings are difficult Ron," she said sagely, "It's the marriage that most people enjoy."