A/N: Hi, this is Sil (myentropicmess) and I'm going to post my submission for the third day of Angst Week 2015, co-written with my dear friend Marta (mavis-118). She is sick today, so I'm in charge of this author's note and I'm going to dedicate it to her. She loves Lyredy and she's the main reason we wrote this. Moreover, she always gives wonderful ideas and work a lot on this fic and she deserves all the love. Second, I want to thank our two lovely betas Sara (worshiperofunknownstories) and San (onlywordswithoutsense) for putting up with my writer's drama and doing all of this possible (and with the less mistakes possible). Last, this time I'm not going to thank Ed Sheeran, because our main inspiration was the fabulous work of blamedorange ... Her fanarts are the main reason why we ship Lyredy and also made us appreciate more Crime Sorciere (if it was possible... Because we already adored them beforehand *-*).
Disclaimer: We don't own Fairy Tail Universe or its characters, they belong to Mashima sensei :)
It was an ordinary day on the mountains, but for them it was the most special journey of the year. When their beloved friend Ultear knew realized that she hadn't much time left, she tried to contact them so she could spend her last moments with the people she loved the most and tell them that she willed to be buried in her hometown, near to her mother's tomb, even if she knew that Ur's remains belonged to the ocean. After those fateful days, Jellal, Meredy, Gray and Lyon decided to travel to Ur and her daughter's hometown to visit their tombs every year to make them a tribute, share memories and, above all, help each other to put up with the pain of loss.
And there they were, standing where their gravestones were placed. Jellal was holding hands with Erza, Lyon was lost in his own thoughts as he addressed his eyesight at the snowed mountains and Gray was looking at the ground with his arm around Juvia's waist. Meanwhile, Meredy was kneeling before Ultear's tomb, where Crime Sorciere members set her cape some time ago to remind that she would always be a beloved guild member who any of them wouldn't forget.
"Even if it happened years ago, time doesn't lessen the pain, isn't it?" Jellal said, looking at his trip companions and trying to hold his tears. All of a sudden Erza, who was his partner and confident, tightened her grip and looked at him. This wasn't the first time she was asked to come since they were together. She had saved him in so many ways… Having her by his side, supporting him and sharing the burden, reduced the suffering.
"It only makes it more bearable..." Gray cut, trying to appear calmer and colder than he really was, considering the situation. He didn't want Jellal and, above all, Lyon to see that, even if time passed, he was as hurt as the first day because of what happened. They went through a lot together and, even if he had learned in the last years to open up to people thanks to Juvia and his closest friends, it wasn't easy to him to share his feelings.
"Gray-sama…" Juvia whispered as she rubbed her loved one's back. Even if they were together for a while, this was the first year he asked her to come to this trip. But she understood it. This was a very personal and painful issue to him, which few people knew about. Moreover, him sharing that part of his life and wanting her to stay by his side in those moments showed her his trust. And that was a big step in their relationship.
"I can't agree more with you two," Lyon added, looking at one thread from his cape, which had loosened opportunely some moments ago. Each one of them met Ultear on very different stages of her life. He met her when she already regretted and wanted to mend her sins, that were made on her time being with Grimoire Heart, a dark guild which Meredy, his loved one, belonged in the past. He also had his own sins, which he tried to amend joining Lamia Scale and helping others as far as possible. But the truth was that he didn't fully forgive himself for what he did in Galuna Island and he still had remorses for his life choices. One of the facts that he was regretful for was not sharing more time with his teacher's daughter and knowing about her situation when it was too late. "At least we know that they're finally together after all this time and that should make us happy…"
As Jellal heard that, he looked at Meredy, who was still clutching at Ultear's cape as she was crying quietly. Even if he met the two mages for a long time, he knew Meredy had a closer relationship with her. Ultear wasn't only her friend and confident. She raised her, being the mother she'd never had. They've been through a lot together, and they didn't deserve any of the atrocities they suffered. After the battle of Tenrou, they wanted to compensate what they did and helped him getting out of prison and he would be always grateful for that. Later, they formed Crime Sorciere to amend their sins, but the guild became something more to them. Bit by bit, it meant more than an instrument to defeat Zeref. Crime Sorciere got to be their family.
After he saw her in the state she was, Jellal excused himself, leaving Erza's side to approach the place where she was and softly put a hand on her shoulder, moving it on circles to try to comfort her.
"Are you alright, Meredy?" the heavenly body mage said as he kneeled himself to embrace her.
"Yes… It's just… I can't make myself get used to live without her… I still miss her…" Meredy replied with a broken voice.
"I know…" he added as he rubbed her back. "But I also know that she would like to see you happy, moving on with your life. Hell, even if I don't like him nor trust him I see that since you're with that stupid ice mage full of himself…"
"Jellal!" Meredy reprimanded him while she separated from him and blushed.
"I.. I just want the best for you…" he said. "What I wanted to say is that since you're with him, I see you smile more often and that's what Ul would like to see, you know?"
"Yes... " she sighed as she put a rebel lock behind her ear. "Thank you…"
"Now, it's time for us to come back with them, don't you think? We will be going to Ur's house like always."
"I would like to be alone for a little while. I will get to you later, alright?"
"Take your time. We will wait for you and give you some space until you're ready to leave."
"Thank you."
As she said that, Jellal stood up and lovingly ruffled her hair. Later, he approached the ice mages and told them about Meredy's situation. Before they started their walk home, he turned around and looked at the pink haired mage. She had grown so much. Even if she had her moments of sadness and weakness like this one, he knew that since she was on their little family and met Lyon, she smiled more often and tried to be stronger day by day. And he couldn't be more proud of her.
After the group left, Meredy grabbed Ultear's cape again and touched it with caress. She was tired of lying to everyone and, above all, herself. She wasn't alright and she didn't know when she would be able to live without regrets. Yes, Lyon helped her and she was finally able to smile again, but that didn't mean that the ghost of her past life abandoned her. Why wasn't it possible for her to have a normal life? Why people around her had to leave her? She knew that Jellal gave her the family she'd never had, but she couldn't help having those thoughts invading her mind. Maybe she was a selfish being after all.
Later, she looked at the cape and discovered that it was teared in some points of the fabric. As she saw that, she began to cry again. All that she had done in her life was spoiling things around her and now she was paying for it. She remembered when she felt that way for the first time. It happened when her hometown was destroyed and she lost her family. That left her broken hearted, not being able to look into the future. That time it was Ultear who helped her to gather the pieces and start again. But now it was different. She was broken and the person who was her motherly figure left her. Who would help her now? Why did Ultear had to leave her? With those thoughts, sadness left her and anger began to invade her as she started to tremble.
While she was lost in her own thoughts, she didn't realize that white haired ice mage had not leave the place. At the contrary, he stayed all that time in silence because he was worried about her. Seeing that she was in that condition that didn't seem to improve, he made a good choice.
"Meredy…" he said, approaching her.
Meredy turned around and tried to hide her emotions with a soft smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"You can't trick me," the ice mage began to say.
"Lyon…" Meredy added, cleaning her tears with her hand.
"No... Let me finish this time…" Lyon cut as he kneeled before her to be at her height. "I know that you always say to everyone that you're alright… Do you think that I don't know that you are downcast and hiding from everyone since we've arrived? Or that you haven't slept well for a week because you're afraid of dreaming about her?"
Meredy didn't know what to say. It was clear that Lyon knew that she was in bad shape and that she was worried. She knew that she could trust him, but he wasn't Ultear. There were some things that she could only share with her, but she left. There were even things that she couldn't tell to the overprotective Jellal. Things like she loved when the heavenly body mage sent death glares to Lyon when he was too closer or hugged her.
"Come here, you're trembling," Lyon said as he tried to put his cape on her. All of a sudden, Meredy pushed him away abruptly, separating their bodies.
"What have you just said… That I'm trembling!" Meredy cried. "How in hell wouldn't I be trembling?! That stupid woman abandoned me. She… She promised that she wouldn't do it and she didn't keep her word. She left me alone... Heartbroken…"
"Mer…"
"Don't "Meredy" me! She… She promised…" she didn't stop saying those words over and over again while endless tears went down by her cheeks. "She abandoned me… Did you thought of what would happen to the people you left behind? Did you really thought about it, Ul?"
"Meredy, Ultear didn't…"
"Lyon, for your own good, don't you ever dare to finish that sentence," the pink haired mage replied with a cold voice and a look Lyon hadn't ever saw before and he would never witness again. Even if Zeref was alive, he would be aware of his own life if he was the one who received it.
"Meredy…You know better than anyone that what Ultear did on the battle against the dragons after the Grand Magic Games, she did it thinking…" he began to say as the link mage tried to interrupt him again. "No, let me finish. I've already heard enough of your ranting and complains about Ultear. Now, please, listen to me. After that you can send me to hell," the white haired mage replied in a louder voice that he expected. Meanwhile, he lost himself a little in one rebel lock that escaped from her ponytail, which he put it on the right place after. "As I was telling you before, you know that she did it for the people she loved and, above all, for you. You were the person she loved the most."
"You can't know that," Meredy added as she continued to cry. "You didn't know her."
"Yes, I can't lie and say that I knew her as much as you, Jellal or even Gray. I also won't deny that in some moments I hated her, like when she tricked me and posed as Zalty. But, the truth is, the last time we saw her, I've had the opportunity to make things clear and forgive her. If I'm not wrong, you did the same thing in the past, don't you?"
"How do you know that?" the link mage asked, while a soft pink slowly invaded her cheeks.
"She told me about it that day… About Grimoire Heart and when the two of you decided to found Crime Sorciere to make up for your sins," the ice mage said, with a grin in his face. "And… And she told me about you."
"About me?" she said, surprised. She didn't understand why he had talked about her with Ultear. Even more because they weren't dating at that time.
"Don't play dumb with me," the white haired mage added while he cleaned a rebel tear that was running down her cheek. "Even if at that time we weren't dating yet, everyone knew about my feelings towards you."
"Well, everyone knew… But I had no idea," Meredy replied.
"You… You are the only exception, don't you think?" he said as he winked an eye, making the link mage plaster a half smile on her face. "Stupid ice mage…" she thought.
"Don't make me laugh with your foolishness, Lyon," she argued. "Because you can also be dense sometimes and I don't complain about that."
"Dense? Have you called me dense? You hurt my feelings, Meredy," he replied, moving his hand to his chest in a theatrical way.
"You're such a drama queen…" she said as she began to laugh. "And I want to know what you said about me."
"Doesn't somebody ever told you that curiosity killed the cat? And for your own information, I'm not a drama queen," he pouted.
"Whatever floats your boat…" she said as she rolled her eyes. "Don't miss the point and tell me."
"Where was I? Ah, I remember! I have to tell you, young lady, that we talked about how you two met each other and joined Grimoire Heart afterwards…" Lyon continued as Meredy put a serious face that made him mend the situation quickly. "Well, you know what I'm talking about… We also talked about how you forgave her on Tenrou, showing the big heart you have and that family is the thing you value the most. On the other hand, she told me that you deserved happiness, but convincing you of it would be a hard task."
The pink haired mage thought about what he just had said. She shared the same beliefs with Jellal: She didn't deserve to be happy with Lyon because of her sins. She didn't deserve him, because he was too good for her. She knew that the Council forgave them after their help in Zeref's defeat and they no longer were a dark guild but, like Jellal, she couldn't forgive herself for what she did in the past. As she was lost in her own thoughts, she didn't realized that Lyon was looking at her.
"Apologies. Please, continue."
"Don't worry, I was only saying that she told me that you were very important to her and she made me promise her that I would make you happy and that I would invite you to a date. She also warned me that maybe I could have trouble with a blue haired mage that could be against it and that she gave us her blessing," Lyon sighed. "At that time, when I was talking to Ultear, I realized that, even if I was afraid of Jellal I had two options: Running away with you or you doing the same with me. But I was sure of one thing: I couldn't live without you."
After that, silence fell upon them. Ultear's words about her and her relationship with Lyon made a familiar warmth invade her chest. A sensation she didn't have since Ultear left and that she missed a lot. But it was there again, making her feel finally at home, giving her hope that maybe the pieces of her broken heart could be together again being at Lyon's side. All of a sudden, she felt two hands on both sides of her head. Seriously, how could an ice user give her so much warmth? She will never know. After that, the white haired mage slowly closed the distance between them and locked his lips with hers. As they moved their lips slowly, she realized that maybe a future without regrets could be possible. He accepted her the way she was and he would always be there for her, helping in any means possible so she could forgive herself. He loved her unconditionally and could give her a home where she could feel safe. A place where she could feel warmth again. Later, they broke the kiss to breath again but they stayed close, looking at each other eyes.
The sweet moment was interrupted by Meredy's laugh and Lyon's confused look, because he didn't know the reason of the pink haired mage's sudden reaction.
"Ser… Seriously…" Meredy chuckled. "Sometimes… You're too… Too cheesy for this world… Lyon."
"Cheesy or not, at least this is the first time on this day I see you truly smiling," Lyon pouted and turned his head. Meredy took advantage of his reaction to crouch and catch some snow from the ground and threw it to his face.
"Oi!" the ice mage complained as he removed the snow from his face. Suddenly, he felt how Meredy put hes arms around his body and, instinctively, he returned the hug.
"Thanks, Lyon," Meredy murmured against his chest.
After a few moments being like that and, above all, because Lyon noticed that Meredy was trembling because of the freezing low temperatures, he broke the embrace and took her hand.
"Come on, they're probably tired of waiting for us," he said as he ruffled her hair with his hand.
As they went back with the group, Meredy remembered those words on that letter Ultear wrote after she sacrificed herself to save everyone.
"In the end… I was able to forgive myself…"
"I promise I will try to do the same… Ultear…" The pink haired mage whispered as she approached Lyon and put an arm behind his back, startling him. After that, he did the same and looked at her with a big caring smile. That was the beginning of a new page of her life, full of possibilities and new adventures. A new life that she would live at fullest, trying to forgive herself with the help of the people she loved the most.
