Brick Wall
A/N: The first fanfic I've posted though I've read most of them on here! Love the whole Nadia/Doyle relationship and have written other stories about them, though most of them are much longer than this one and are still on-going. Was hoping for feedback and if maybe people feel this story can go anywhere else as have whole back story thing planned for Doyle and why he's the way he is?? Please be constructive (but not too harsh!) Also, let's assume, for the sake of argument, that Doyle returns to CTU after a long absence, with some degree of his eye-sight returned and Nadia has picked up the post of director- it makes things easier!!! If people like this then I promise it will all make sense again with later chapters! This is kind of a prologue thing.
Disclaimers: They ain't mine, but if they were they'd definitely be back in Season 7.
He couldn't remember the last time he'd smiled and meant it. Or the last time he'd laughed with any degree of sincerity.
He always felt the lead weight sat in his stomach, and the aching in his heart.
It had been that way for as long as he could remember.
Then he met her.
And he fell in love.
And that ache in his heart grew even worse.
Because he knew she'd never love him back.
Who would ever love him?
He was nothing.
That was what he'd always been told, right from when he was a kid.
Tell someone something often enough and they start believing it.
She loves him, but she isn't really sure why.
It's not as if he's wooed her with flowers, charmed her with his dazzling personality.
He puts up a stony façade, but she knows it's just that: a façade.
She looks into his icy blue eyes and can sense the pain and the hurt that he tries to mask so well and has hidden for so long.
He hurts, even as his eyes burn with intensity and a need for him to strive to do his job to the best of his ability.
She feels a connection to him, despite the way he always tries to push her away from him. It stings, but he does it with everybody. He has no friends, is a loner.
He interrogated her and it hurt, but she knew he didn't want to do it.
She has to be his boss now, and they argue. They have ever since he came back to work. Sometimes all hell breaks loose and people have to separate them because of the way insults are spat and the way they both yell.
She can shout just as loud as he can.
But she senses that behind his abrupt, argumentative demeanour that he's not always the ruthless bastard that he comes across as. She knows that a long time ago, someone hurt him, and since then, he's never been the same. He doesn't have to tell her this.
But she knows it anyway.
And it is for these reasons that she knows he will probably never love her back but makes her love him all the more.
The knowledge hurts her, but she really doesn't know how to make things any better.
There is a brick wall between them, and she eagerly anticipates the day it might start to crumble.
Fini Feedback will make me smile!