Just a Dream Shiloh/Thane

Chronoangel94- Mass effect characters belong to Bioware and the song to Carrie Underwood I only own Shiloh Shepard

It was two weeks after the day she turned 18

All dressed in white going to the church that night

Shiloh Shepard couldn't wait to get to the hospital that night, Thane had convinced her to marry him, for however long they had left. The fact that one of them was already dying and there was a war going on it might not be long but it would be enough. She stood in the simple white gown she had bought in her cabin in the Normandy with Tali one of her best friends standing next to her.

"You look beautiful Commander." Tali complimented.

"Thanks Tali." Shiloh answered with an excited grin for her friend.

She had his box of letters in the passenger seat

Sixpence in her shoe, something borrowed something blue

Shiloh glanced on her bed where the box of letters he had wrote her during their two years of forced separation, she smiled softly and ran her fingers over the box. The blue bracelet a gift from her father when she was thirteen was safely on her right wrist. She put on the small ruby drop necklace Liara had loaned her. She was ready for the first day of her marriage.

And when the church doors opened up wide

She put the veil down trying to hide her tears

"Commander I have some news." Joker spoke through the door.

"What is it Joker?" Shiloh asked opening the door and smiling at him.

Joker took a deep breath and let it out, "Shepard, Thane is dead."

"Thane is what?" Shiloh asked slowly with the feeling of dread in her heart.

"He's dead." Joker said again, Tali reached out for Shiloh's hand and she just shrugged her off feeling her heart shatter. She rushed out of her main room to the bathroom and shut the door so no one could see her cry.

Oh she just couldn't believe it

She heard the trumpets from the military band

And the flowers fell out of her hand

The day of the funeral Shiloh stood stoic at the front with Koyat next to her. The fiancé and the son of the dead man stood together. The trumpet from the alliance band blew and she watched the white roses fall from her hand as she tried to hold it together while in public. She was Commander Shiloh Elizabeth Shepard, she couldn't be seen breaking down in public, no matter how much she wanted to.

Baby why'd you leave, why'd you have to go

I was counting on forever now I'll never know

I can't even breathe

Shiloh made it to the safety of her cabin and sank to the floor against the door. She couldn't breathe through the pain, her head banged against the door.

"Why Thane? Just until the end of the war would have been fine." Her left hand buried into her red hair and gave a tug. She finally let herself cry until she couldn't breathe.

It's like I'm looking from a distance standing in the background

Everybody's saying he's not coming home now

This can't be happening to me

This is just a dream

"I wish I could just wake up" Shiloh muttered brokenly to a picture of Thane.

The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray

Lord please lift his soul and heal this hurt

And then the congregation all stood up and sang

The saddest song she had ever heard

The priest from the funeral found Commander Shepard standing at the port observation deck starring out at the stars. She looked so lost and vulnerable.

"Commander how are you?" The priest asked and he noticed how fast the mask came back up when she realized she wasn't alone anymore.

"I'm fine." Shiloh answered without turning around. Shiloh refused to show weakness around anyone except Thane, Garrus, and Tali. The priest turned to leave and saw a couple tears fall as he left.

And then they handed her a folded up flag

And she held onto all she left of him

Oh and what could've been

Koyat hurried to catch up to Shepard holding a folded up jacket, a letter, and a phto to give to her.

"Shepard, Commander!" Koyat called, she turned dreading showing anyone her weakness, but Koyat would've been her stepson and if anyone could understand the pain of losing Thane, it would be his son.

"Yes?" She asked him with a broken smile, which all of her smiles were lately.

"I figured you might want these." He answered handing her the bundle and quickly hurrying away to give her privacy. The envelope had Siha written on it so she knew it was for her, but she didn't know who had taken the photo. In the picture she had her arms wrapped around Thane's shoulders and her lips pressed to his cheek. A couple of tears fell on to the picture.

And then the guns rang out one last shot

And it felt like a bullet to her heart.

Shiloh was battered, bruised, and bloodied but she was smiling and it wasn't broken." I'll meet you on the shore love." Shiloh breathed out, for the first time since Thane died the smile on her face was real.